I pushed his hair out of his face gently. His breathing matched the expression on his face. He looked so soft and sweet right now. I wish it would always be like this. Our bodies morphed as one under the sheets and his face was tucked away by my chest. Even though it was 8am he never let go of my hand even once. I never got a wink of sleep last night, how could i when everything I've ever wanted was so close yet so far.
"Stop thinking, you're not any good at it." Alystair's deep groggy voice shattered reality. I waited for him to release his hand from mine. I waited all night for it. I waited patiently for his cruel words, in the back of my mind i had convinced myself I hadn't a care in the world but here I was with Alysitar in my arms and it was painfully clear I cared.
I made movement to disconnect our hands but he took my hand back and squeezed it. "Alystair?" I questioned him. He knew exactly what I meant to ask. I waited patiently for him to release my hand and mock me, I waited patiently for an inevitable heartbreak. "Why did you come for me?" He asked me.
"I told you why."
"I don't remember."
"I told you i would always come to you." As he held my hand the meaning behind my words could not be more clear I just prayed he would understand.
He let go of me and got off my bed. He looked at me in boredom as always as if last night he didn't claw for me in agony. I laid on my side and spoke. "I don't need a reason, did you expect me to just leave you like that?" A blank expression adorned his features like a personalized mask.
"Yes."
"Why do you think so lowly of me Alyss?" I couldn't stop the waver in my voice. "I expect it from everyone else but from you it..." i trailed off afraid to finish my sentence. "Say it." He stepped forward. "It's not important." I sighed. He furthered his advances towards me. "Say it." He demanded. He crouched next to me on the side of the bed. He reached for my hand but not quite taking it. "Alyss?" I questioned him again. Everything he did was questionable.
"Please say it." He looked up at to me and begged. I would do anything to hear his voice escape him like that. I had half the mind to kiss him right then and there.
"It hurts."
His head slumped against my bed as I connected my hand with his. It felt like it was meant to be there. "I've always kept it in, I pushed Zora away whenever she tried to help me but you..." he paused and I caressed his hand. He spoke so softly i never would have heard him if I didn't focus. "It took my all not to push you away Romen." I think this might be his way of letting me know he trusted me. I smiled softly at the idea. "Aww you trust me." I teased him. I let go of my hand and made way for the door.
"I do." He held my gaze before leaving the room.
The smile that adorned my features as he left stained the heart of the fuckboy I was.
I showered and got up for breakfast in excitement. I left my room with a smirk on my face but got pulled into a room before I could make it to the kitchen.
Destiny. Of course it was her. She looked at me with wide full blown eyes and a knife in her hand. "What happened with alystair?"" she wiggled her eyebrows and stalked closer. "What makes you think anything happened?" I raise my eyebrow. She scoffed and widened her leg stance. I think my parents bought her from wish.
"Well Romen it is clear as day you like him. When you came back your eyes wouldn't leave him." She listed everything by the count of her fingers. "You my brother are obsessed with him." As much as my sister was silly and chaotic her approval really mattered to me when it came to things like this considering she has never approved of anyone. "What do you think about him?"
She skipped around the room before answering. "Well..." the thought that she might not like Alyss creeped through my mind. "I love him he even helped me with my paintings." She ran up to me and squealed. "I'm glad you like him honestly cause I like him too." I smirked.
She proceeded to hold my hand tightly, almost threateningly. "Enough with all these games and waiting hmm can't you just marry him or something." Before I could respond Zora and Zainabs laughter interrupted me.
"We've been trying to tell him this." Zainab said. It appeared as though we had some sort of meeting in here. Destiny gave them a botched up handshake.
"So what happened last night?" Zora asked. "Is this some kind of council meeting?" I responded. The look they gave me told me to not even bother asking. I chuckled. "He held my hand." All hell broke loose as they all squealed.
"He hates physical contact with anyone so you're on the right track." Zora smiled after they all calmed down. "It might have been a one time thing considering how last night even happened." The more I thought about it the closer to the truth it seemed.
Destiny smacked me with one of her paintbrushes. "What was the fuck was that for!"
"You are what they call a stupid. We have to be positive right. I for one want Alystair and you married so he can hang out with me now if you fail this operation I will kill you huh."
"I don't want to fail dumbshit I want him just as much as you all want me with him."
I wanted him to the point where it hurt my brain to think about it. His words stain every part of me. The very hands that trailed my back occupies every dream i have. I want his hands on me. Would it be selfish to say i want him all to myself? To think of him makes me go crazy to the point of exhaustion. There's nothing i want more than to be the reason he smiles. Not having him feels like my soul dies to itself but my body remains. A walking corpse.
Alystair Satori remains my hope and yet the bane of my existence.
A/n
What do you think?!!!! I kept rewriting this chapter because I wasn't sure about it but i ended up just going with my gut. HOW ARE WE AT 16K READS??????????????? YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING I LITERALLY LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU
Get ready for an update on Christmas for those of you who celebrate! I love you all.
(Please comment i love reading what you all have to say:)