Iâm sitting on the ground under the stars, devouring a piece of beast meat while watching the guys around the bonfire. Sylred thought it would be a good idea to do something different, as a sort of break in our grueling days of training.
When I finish eating, I down a cup of water and lay on my back to look up at the stars. Evert and Ronak are arguing about their favorite types of swords. Iâm pretty sure Evert is just arguing with him just for the sake of it.
I feel Sylred as he comes over and lies down beside me. He stretches his arms above him and rests the back of his head in his hands. Neither of us talks for a long time. The only sounds are the guys bickering and the fire crackling.
âBack in the human realm, theyâd sometimes have these star watching events. They could predict when thereâd be shooting stars in the sky. People would flock to parks and rooftops to watch,â I say quietly, still looking up at the heavens between the treetops. âLooking at stars always makes people feel small, you know? Even the humans would say so. It made me feel like they were kind of like me. That we were all looking up and feeling small, just mere spectators.â
âIt mustâve been lonely. Watching for all those years and never being able to be a part of them.â
A small sigh escapes me. âIt was.â
Sylred hums thoughtfully. âGenfins are social by nature. Back on our island, thereâs usually at least three generations living under a single roof,â he says. âAnd thatâs a lot, considering the size of some coveys.â
I turn my head to look at him. âSo all genfins form coveys?â
He nods. âGenfin boys leave their parentsâ home at a young age, when our powers begin to form. We leave to go live on another island nearby to find our covey match.â
This is the most Iâve learned about them since Iâve been here. Iâm almost afraid to speak, because I donât want to break the spell and risk him clamming up.
âI was ten when I left home,â he continues. âIâd never been away from my parents or grandparents or brothers before. Going from family to an island full of strange pre-pubescent boys with a lot to prove wasnât easy.â
I try to picture a young Sylred. I image him lanky and awkward, with a lopsided grin and kind eyes.
âWhy just boys?â
âGenfin females are very, very rare, and itâs very, very difficult for us to procreate. Thatâs one of the reasons our people form coveys. Multiple genfin males mate with a single female. It is our sworn duty to protect and honor her.â
âAnd whatâs the other reason?â
âOur magic doesnât fully mature until we form a covey.â
âWhy not?â
He looks over at me with a shrug. âThatâs just how our magic works. We balance each other out. Itâs probably in part to ensure we can protect our female from any threat.â
âWhy are genfin females so rare?â
âWho knows? But for every three hundred boys, a girl is born. And then she is celebrated and cherished. Not all coveys get the honor of finding a female to match with.â
âWait, so do you three have a match?â
Sylred swallows and then goes back to looking at the sky. I hadnât noticed that the other guys have stopped talking until this moment. âWhy donât you tell her?â Evert challenges Ronak. âTell her if we have a match.â
I can tell by his tone that heâs picking a fight. Sylred and I stand up and look over at him. âCan we not do this?â Sylred says.
Evert stalks over until heâs standing between Ronak and us. âWhy not? We only have two weeks left. Letâs hash this shit out once and for all.â
âWeâve hashed this out plenty,â Ronak counters.
âNo, we havenât. Iâve been pissed and youâve been silent. So letâs do it. Give Scratch the full picture,â he says, turning his head toward me. âYou want to know why we were banished? You want to know if we have a mate?â
I really do. Iâm burning with the need to know. But Evertâs cruel face makes me hesitate to answer.
âIâll tell you. There was a female. Strong, loyal, kind. Viessa. She wouldâve been good to us. If weâd claimed Viessa, we would be home right now, probably with sons of our own running around,â he says. Then he points an accusing finer at Ronak. âBut Strength here decided she wasnât good enough for us. Thought himself too high born for a simple country genfin girl. So he rejected her. He sent Viessa away, without ever talking to us.â
Based on the way Evert glares at him, Iâd say that he loved this Viessa. Probably still does. I stand up and take a few tentative steps to get between them. Not that I could really stop them from fighting.
âDelsheenâs status and power made her a better match for us,â Ronak argues.
âDelsheen,â Evert spits, her name like a rotten swear word on his tongue. âDelsheen was an haughty, conceited twit who fucked any noble who looked her way.â
Rage rolls off of Ronak. I can feel his body temperature rise as his tail flicks up behind him. A low, guttural growl escapes his throat. âI was trying to do well by our covey.â
âYou were trying to do well by your ego! You threw Viessa away like she was a piece of trash, and worse, you didnât even listen to me when I told you that Delsheen was playing you. Weâre supposed to be brothers! Youâre supposed to trust your covey, but instead, youâve always been a fucking prat with a silver spoon shoved so far up your ass, you think you have the right to lead us. Well, I donât give a fuck if your power is strength. Youâre a fucking pussy who doesnât deserve this covey. Iâm glad Delsheen fucked the prince behind your back. Iâm glad you lost your mind and tried to attack them. My only regret is being chained to your ass, banished on this island alongside you because of your arrogant stupidity.â
Ronak is so furious that heâs shaking. His whole body is taut, fists and jaw clenched, shoulders tight, eyes like darkness. Evert waits for a reaction. Itâs what heâs always doing, I realize. Pushing buttons, trying to get to where they are right now. Ronak usually ignores him or Sylred intervene, but not this time.
Just when I think Ronak is about to tell him off, finally have the argument that has so long been buried, Ronak turns on his heel and starts to storm away. But before he can, Evert grips his arm to stop him.
The second Evertâs hand makes contact with Ronakâs skin, itâs like Ronakâs flip switches. The barely contained rage that heâd been holding in suddenly unleashes. Ronak flips around, rears back, and punches Evert square in the jaw.
Evert goes flying back, his body barely missing the fire, and lands in a heap on the ground. If that punch was landed on any normal person, Iâm sure it wouldâve killed them.
Before I can even shout, Evert is on all fours, ready to spring back into action, his tail rising high behind him like a panther. He rushes at Ronak, catching him in the stomach, and the two go down in a flurry of fists, grappling each other before Sylred can rush over to try and pull them apart. But Sylred is no match for Ronakâs strength and he catches a hit to his stomach for the effort.
Evert charges Ronak, shoving him to the ground. When his back hits, Ronak sends out a kick, making Evert go careening backwards again. Without thought, I fly up and touch down right in front Ronak, just as he gets to his feet. He has his fist raised, ready to land another punch on Evert, so I stand on my tiptoes and put both of my hands on either side of his face. âRonak,â I say, forcing him to stop and look at me.
I noticed the change in Ronakâs eyes when I saw him attack the beasts for me, but seeing them now, up close, makes me realize how feral these genfin men can be. Instead of his usual black eyes, theyâve turned into a menacing, iridescent gold. His canines are bared, his tail twisting behind him, his body shivering with power. I can hear Sylred behind me, trying to grapple Evert to the ground, but I keep my focus on Ronak.
âRonak,â I say again, my hands not leaving his face. He struggles. I can see and feel the struggle inside of him to shut off the feral side of him. âItâs okay,â I soothe. When his eyes try to find Evert again, I grip his cheeks and turn his face back to me. âCome back, and you can be your quiet, grumpy self and Iâll come up with all sorts of ideas to try and thwart your training schedules. Come back, and you can pretend to hate me, and Iâll pretend like it wasnât hilarious when I Lust-Breathed on you.â
His gold eyes stay locked on mine until I see the gold flash with recognition and then flicker away. His pupils dilate, the black irises return, and he takes a long, heavy breath as he comes back to himself, while his wild, feline side burrows back down inside.
âThere you are, Not-First,â I say with a small smile. He reaches up and holds my wrists, even as I continue to hold his face. We stay like that for a few seconds, just staring at each other until he finally pulls my hands away from his face and lets go.
I turn around to see Evert is gone. Sylred watches Ronak warily, but sends me a small, reassuring smile. âOkay?â he asks Ronak.
Ronak grunts before turning and walking away into the forest. I watch him leave. âHeâll be okay. He just needs to cool off.â
I wrap my arms around myself, more for reassurance than from the cold. âAnd Evert?â
âHeâs fine. It might not have looked like it, but Ronak was holding back. He didnât use his full strength on him. If he had, he couldâve killed him. But genfins are tough. It takes a lot to take us down.â
I nod. Iâm glad to know that theyâre both okay physically, but itâs their emotional pieces Iâm worried about.
Sylred nudges me. âYou did good. No one other than me has ever been able to talk Ronak down once his animal side comes out.â
âHe wonât hurt me,â I say, surprised by my admission because I can feel the truth in it.
âNo, I donât think he would.â
âSo thatâs why you were banished here? Ronak attacked the prince?â
âYeah.â
âGuess we have more in common than we thought.â
Sylred laughs lightly. âLooks like it. We were at the kingdom island to announce our match. During one of the balls, Ronak caught Delsheen in bed with the prince and his feline side came out. He attacked them, but the guards intervened before he could do any damage. The prince wasnât allowed to execute him outright, so he sent him and our covey to banishment.â
âAnd what about Delsheen?â
âThe last time I saw her, she was standing beside the prince, watching our sentencing like she thought it was the best form of entertainment sheâd ever seen. She loved the fact that men were fighting over her. Who knows where she is now. We donât exactly get gossip down here.â
I canât imagine the level of betrayal thatâs stained their covey. And not just with the woman, but with Ronak and Evert, too. I donât know if their bond can be repaired.
âEvert said something about trying to break your covey link,â I say, remembering. âAre you really going to try to do that?â
A pained look crosses his face. âI donât want to. But I donât see how we can get back to where we should be as a proper covey. Too much has happened.â
Hearing this makes me incredibly sad. âIs there something I can do?â
He gives me a small smile and places his hand on the small of my back to guide me toward the cabin. âWe still have to make it out of the culling alive. Then we can worry about our covey link.â
âYou will,â I say quickly. âYouâre all strong and smart. Youâll make it.â
âThanks for the confidence boost, Emelle. Now come on, letâs get you inside before you get all hypothermic again.â
âIt was one time.â
Afterward, when Iâm lying next to the dying fire inside, bundled up with furs, I canât stop thinking about everything I learned. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if thereâs any way I can help them then Iâm going to do it. Maybe everything thatâs happened, everything thatâs led up to me being right here, right now, was for this purpose. Maybe, just maybe, I can fix them. Iâm a cupid, dammit. If I donât fix their hearts, who will?