Chapter 22: Caged: Chapter 22

Friday morning, I leave Maddie sleeping in my bed and go for a run around the lake to clear my head. The cold air of November has turned frigid as we come closer to mid-December. But it feels good to be outside. The houses along the lake are just waking up as I lap around the frozen falls, pushing my muscles until they burn. I’m alone with my thoughts, trying to reconcile what everyone has been saying with what I know deep in my gut.

Mason McGuire is dead because he stepped into that ring with me.

Did he have a preexisting condition he was unaware of?

But did I strike the blow that ended his life and took him away from his wife and child?

Can I ever step foot in that cage again, knowing that?

My thoughts are plagued with doubt during the entire five miles around the lake. It’s only after I’ve stretched and walk back into my kitchen that my mind clears and calms.

My two favorite women sit at my kitchen table.

Not that I’d ever tell my sisters that.

Imogen and Maddie are sharing a plate of scrambled eggs when they both look up.

“I guess we need a grocery delivery if you’ve got to share breakfast, ladies.” I drop a kiss on Maddie’s head and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “Hey, Gen. What’s up?”

“What’s up?” she repeats and chokes back her laugh.

“I’m just going to leave you two to talk.” Maddie stands and runs her hand over my arm, and that simple touch soothes me. “There’s an omelet on the stove for you.” She presses her lips quickly to mine, and Imogen makes a gagging noise before Maddie leaves the room.

“Get your omelet and sit, Kingston. I’m done tiptoeing around.” She scoops eggs onto her toast, folds it in half, and eats it like a sandwich, which is something she’s done for years.

I grab my breakfast and smile at the thought of Maddie making it for me, even though it’s not a pretty omelet. Once I’m seated across from Imogen, I take a bite of my lukewarm eggs, knowing her eyes are on me.

“Is Maddie being here a good sign?” she questions.

“A good sign of what?” I know I’m being thickheaded, but I’m not exactly sure what she’s asking.

She rolls her eyes and brings a napkin to her mouth. “Well, let’s see. A good sign that you’re talking. A good sign that you haven’t cut in your life of your life. A good sign that you haven’t completely given up on living your life because of what happened.” She balls the napkin in her hands and throws it at my face. “I’ve been fucking worried about you, you jerk. And you’ve been ignoring my calls. You’re ignoring Cade’s calls. Scarlet says you’re ignoring everyone. So, I’m thinking Maddie is our only hope to get you through this.”

“Imogen—”

“Don’t you dare me. I’ve been your best friend for ten years. And you shut me out,” she yells.

“I’ve shut everyone out,” I counter, only I’m much calmer. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Gen. I’m not you. I don’t need to talk about everything right away. I need to process it before I can talk. I’m trying. But I’m working on it.”

“Since when?” she pushes.

I consider my answer carefully. “Since last night.”

“Why? What happened last night?”

She never did know when to drop it. “Since I realized I had something bigger than myself . . . Something more important than just me to fight for.”

I’m expecting her to give me shit for that person being Maddie and not her or my family, but she doesn’t. And I’m an asshole for even thinking that. That’s not Imogen, and it never been. Not with me.

“Remind me to thank Maddie then.” She reaches across my plate and steals a big chunk of egg, red pepper, and cheese, then snags a piece of my toast.

“For what? Breakfast?” I push the rest of my plate in front of her.

“No. I love Mads, but she’s not exactly a good cook. It’s pretty hard to mess up eggs . . . I mean, it’s edible, but”—she shakes her head—“whatever. I meant you, you big baboon. For getting through to you on a level the rest of us couldn’t.”

She makes another egg sandwich but leaves it sitting on her plate. “I’ve known you a long time, Hud. I was there when Lenny and Jace’s mom died and then a few years later when your dad died. I was there when you found out about Amelia and when you wanted to kill my brother for sleeping with your sister. I’ve been there for everything since we were sixteen years old, and I’ve never not been able to get through to you before. But she did. She’s really good for you, Hud. Don’t let her go.”

“I’m not letting her go. Ever.” As the words leave my mouth, my resolve strengthens.

I know, without a shadow of a doubt, Madison Dixon was always meant to be mine.

“Then you need to start living again. Because right now, you’re hiding. And that’s not the Hudson Kingston I know.”

She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, then pushes my plate back toward me. “Now eat up and get back to the gym before you get flabby and she dumps you.”

I rest my hand on top of hers. “Thanks, Gen.”

“Anytime.”

My conversation with Imogen plays on repeat in my mind for the rest of the day. I’ve always been a man of action. Until this past week.

It’s like I’ve been paralyzed with guilt and remorse.

With self-doubt and self-loathing.

But Maddie has a way of getting under my skin that no one else ever has.

The sun is already setting that afternoon when I step into the living room. Maddie sits on the couch in front of the fireplace, the flames lighting her pretty face, and a cup of tea in her hand. She has her open MacBook on her lap and a notebook on the table in front of her. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun with a pen sticking out of it.

She’s messy and stunning.

And when she hears me, and lifts her eyes to mine, her smile is everything.

I swear to God, my heart skips a beat, and I have to remind myself to breathe.

“What’cha working on, baby?” I sit down next to her and pull her legs across my lap.

With a sigh, she closes her computer and moves it to the side. “The social-media campaign for Start A Revolution’s holiday food drive. It ends next week. I promised Daphne one more big push before then.”

I dig my fingers into the arch of her foot, and she moans. “Ohh. That feels nice.”

“Move in with me,” I blurt the words out with absolutely no couth whatsoever.

Maddie startles. “

? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I am. Move in with me, Madison. Having you here feels right. This is where you’re supposed to be.” With each word I say, another piece of our puzzle clicks into place, completing the picture of the life I want. The one she deserves even if I don’t. “I want you to be the first person I see in the morning, and I want to be the last one you see at night.”

“Hudson . . . we’ve barely been together for a week.” She runs her teeth over her bottom lip nervously. “It’s so .” The last word comes out more like a question than an answer.

“We’ve known each other for three years, sunshine.” I drop her feet and pull her into my lap. “And I know I love you. I know that’s not changing.”

“Hud . . .” She closes her eyes and leans her head against my chest before looking back up. “This is crazy. I feel like I’m about to jump off a cliff.”

“Take my hand. Let’s jump together.”

She thinks about it for a long minute before her dimples pop deep in her cheeks as she nods her head.

“Is that a yes, Mads?” I ask, hope blooming in my chest. “I need to hear the words.”

“You’re crazy, Hudson. You know that, right?”

I shrug, and she runs her fingers through my hair. “I’m not sure I was planning on leaving anyway.”

“Thanks for fighting for me, baby.”

With her eyes open and fixed on me, she brushes her lips over mine and hums deep in her throat. “Never underestimate a woman in love, Hudson Kingston. I waited my whole life to feel this. To feel you. And I refuse to let anything tear us apart.”

“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, sunshine.” My smile stretches clear across my face for the first time in what feels like a long damn time.

“It’s you, Hudson. You didn’t have to do anything but be you.” I hold her face in my hands and press my lips to her forehead. I kiss her nose and cheeks, her long lashes and soft dinples before taking her mouth in a kiss hot enough to scorch the sun.

My phone rings in my pocket, but I ignore it.

Not wanting to break this moment.

It stops, then immediately starts ringing again.

Maddie groans and shoves her hand in my pants to pull it out.

“A little to the left,” I tell her jokingly before she elbows me in the side.

“I’m getting your phone, Hud. It’s smaller and has less metal in it than your dick.”

I laugh. “Not exactly a solid burn, Mads.”

She hands me the phone, and we look at Hunter’s name flashing across the screen.

“Take the call, Hud.” She scoots off my lap and tucks her knees under herself while I run my finger across the screen and answer.

“Hey, Hunt. Did you get it?”

Maddie looks at me questioningly.

“Yeah, man. I got it. Are you sure about this?” I asked Hunter to get me Leona McGuire’s phone number and address. I need to see her. I need to talk to her. To let her rage and blame me, if that’s what she needs. I owe her that much.

Leona agreed to see me on Sunday morning.

Maddie wanted to come with me—hell, my entire family wanted to come with me. But this is something I need to do for myself. For Mason. Only now, as I’m sitting in front of their house, I’m not sure I can get out of the car, and I’m wishing I’d taken one of them up on their offer.

I grab my phone and hit Sawyer’s number on my speed dial while I take in the modest ranch-style house. The blue wooden siding and cracked sidewalks show the home’s age, but it’s been well-kept. Frozen flower beds line either side of the front door. White twinkling Christmas lights hang from the roof. And a big picture window, covered by sheer white curtains, looks out over the street I’m parked on.

Sawyer answers after two rings. “Hey, man. You there already?”

“Yeah. Got here a few minutes ago. What are you doing?” I take a deep breath and watch the drizzle of icy rain bounce against my windshield.

“Well, it’s ten o’clock on a Sunday morning. I worked until three a.m. So I’m still in bed, asshole.” His words are sarcastic, but there’s no heat in his voice.

“Sorry.” The white curtains shift, and I realize my time is running out. “Tell me I need to do this. That I’m not being a selfish prick. That I’m giving her closure as much as I’m trying to get some for myself.”

“You’re not a selfish dick, Hudson. Tell her what you need to say and be prepared to take anything she throws your way without defending yourself at all. Give her the chance to hate you. And know we’re all here in your corner.”

“Thanks, brother.” I end the call and stare out the windshield for another long moment before finally growing a set of balls and jogging to the front door.

I raise my hand to knock, but it opens before I get a chance, and a kid half my size stands on the other side. He’s got dark eyes and dark hair like Mason did. He looks like he’s ten years old, tops. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to chicken out.”

“Neither was I.” I look around the room for Leona but come up empty. “Is Leona home?”

“Yeah. She’ll be out in a minute. She doesn’t like you very much,” he says with the brutal honesty only a kid has.

“To be fair, I don’t know if I like me very much either.”

“Daniel.” Leona steps into the living room and glares at the kid. “Would you give us a minute?”

“Sure, Mom.” He walks by Leona, and she runs a hand over his curly black hair as he goes.

“Mom?” I ask. They never mentioned Mason and Leona already having a kid.

She must recognize my unspoken question. “He isn’t biologically mine, but he’s mine in every way that matters.” She rubs her pregnant belly, then sits on the couch. “Why are you here, King?”

I run my hands over my face.

Jesus, this is hard.

“I’m not exactly sure. I guess I wanted to give you a chance to hate me in person. I thought maybe it would help you to be able—” I cut myself off midsentence. “I don’t know what I thought. But I guess I was hoping you’d let me tell you how sorry I am. I never meant—”

“To kill him?” she cuts me off, then laughs. “If it wasn’t you, it would have been the next opponent or the one after that. The doctor told me he was a walking time bomb. He just didn’t know it. It didn’t even have to happen in that damn cage.”

She wipes her eyes. “He was so excited to get to fight you. So proud of what he’d earned. Seems kind of fitting in a really fucked up way.”

“I wish . . .” I swallow, trying to keep my quickly disintegrating composure. “God, I’m just so fucking sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known. We didn’t even know.” A tear slips down her cheek, and my gut clenches. “He loved what he did, King. He loved it every single day. And he was a man who lived every single day full-out. No regrets. We can’t turn back the clock, no matter how much I wish we could. Life doesn’t work that way.”

“Do you need anything?” I ask, not sure what I could do for her.

“You can’t give me back what I need.” Her voice trembles. “But you can do something for me.”

“Name it.”

“Keep fighting. Mason would be so mad if he knew you stopped fighting. He followed your career for years. Hometown Philly guy fighting all over the world. Winning belts everywhere you went. The highlight of his career was having the chance to fight you. And now, the reports are you’re retiring.”

“I haven’t spoken to anyone about my plans yet. I haven’t made any decisions.” Retirement has crossed my mind every day since I heard the news, but I’d only shared that with Maddie and Cade.

“I don’t hate you, King. I hate the sport he loved. I hate the fates that took him from us. I hate you for winning because I wish he’d gotten that belt. But I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.” She stands from the couch and walks to the door. “Don’t feel bad for me. I lived more every day that Mason loved me than most people do in a lifetime.”

I join her at the door. “Thank you for letting me stop by today, Leona. If you ever need anything, you’ve got my number.”

She nods and opens the door.

And as I slide behind the wheel of my car, my shoulders feel lighter than they have in a while.

I wasn’t expecting anything from Leona McGuire.

But what she just gave me was everything.