Chapter 21: Caged: Chapter 21

“We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.” I knew from the knock at the front door that Sawyer was here. He seems to be the early morning Kingston.

He squeezes my hand as he walks by, heading for the kitchen. “What’s for breakfast today, Mads?”

Two weeks ago, I would have lost my mind if anyone took it upon themselves to touch me as much as the Kingston siblings do. But I guess in a way, it’s immersion therapy.

Kind of like a baby being thrown into the deep end of the pool, not that I’m saying you should do that. But in those videos, they either swim or need to be saved. And I’m tired of needing to be saved. So even though my first instinct may be to back away, I don’t. Not with any of them. And they’ve been in my house over the past few days.

It’s basically been a parade of well-meaning siblings.

“Is he awake yet?” Sawyer helps himself to a mug and pours a cup of coffee.

I swear, I may never get used to this. For the longest time, my happy bubble consisted of Brandon, the girls, and Watkins . . . and that worked. Now that bubble has popped, and the Kingstons have invaded.

They’re kinda like gremlins.

They’re a little mischievous.

They seem to speak their own language.

They multiply when you’re not looking, almost always traveling in packs.

Yesterday, Jace stopped by after his hockey practice at Kroydon University, told me he was starving, and then answered my door ten minutes later. He returned to the kitchen with takeout he’d DoorDashed for all of us. “I wasn’t sure if you ate pasta or not, Mads. Hud said the pasta messes with your sugar.” He proudly held up the bags with a goofy grin. “So I got a few different options and also a chicken Caesar salad.” He laid out enough food for an army, then yelled up the stairs for Hudson and Brandon to come eat, like he lived here.

“Maddie . . .” Sawyer waves his hand in front of my face, bringing me back to the current Kingston invading my space, and I blink away the fog.

I . . . I’m so tired.

“Sorry, Sawyer.” I shake my head and look at the closed door to the basement. “Hudson’s up. He’s in the gym.”

“Does he know the funeral is today?”

I recall the fight he had with Hunter yesterday. “Yeah. He knows. He wants to go. Hunter told him it’s a bad idea. But Hud said he’d stay at the very back of the crowd. He feels like he needs to be there—that he owes Mason that.”

“Damn.” Sawyer leans back against the counter and stares at the floor. “Are you going with him?”

I nod.

“I’m worried about him, Maddie.”

I wish I could tell Sawyer he doesn’t need to worry. But I can’t. Everyone’s been here. All the Kingstons. Cade. Cooper. Imogen. For days now, our house has been a revolving door of people who care about Hudson. But for some reason, my brother is the only person I’ve seen him open up to.

“Trauma is a tricky thing. He’ll talk about it when he’s ready. Until then, we need to be patient.” The way he’s always been patient with me.

“Scarlet said he’s probably safe to go home now.” Sawyer eyes me over the rim of his coffee cup.

“Cooper told us last night. He said most of the reporters have cleared off the street.” My heart pangs at the idea of Hudson going home because I’m not sure if he’ll push me away when he finally can.

The signs are there. I may be inexperienced, but I’m not blind.

He’s closed himself off.

Not just from his siblings and friends but from me too.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask as I flatten my hands over his silver tie.

Hudson is sitting on my bed while I stand between his legs. The black suit that was dropped off earlier fits him beautifully. “No one would think any less of you if we skip this today.”

His hands rest gently on my hips when he drops his head to my chest and inhales deeply. “I have to do this, Mads.”

I run my nails over the back of his head and hold him to me. Fighting against every inch he slips away. “Okay. Then we need to leave now. The church is an hour north of here.”

I pull him to his feet and turn away, but his grip slips to my hands, and he tugs me back. “I think I should go home after the funeral.”

Here it comes.

“Alone,” he adds, and even though I knew it was coming, it still hurts.

I step further into his space and lift my chin. “No.”

“What?” He drops my hands, so I lift them to the lapel of his suit coat and curl my fingers into the expensive material.

“I said no.” My voice shakes, betraying my fraying nerves. “You’re not going home alone. I’m not leaving you alone. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s fine. Then don’t talk. If you’re not ready to go back to Crucible . . . Okay. Don’t go. But I’m here, and I’m on your side. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t do this, Madison.” Hudson’s shoulders drop as his eyes close. “I can’t.”

He takes a step back and turns away from me. “How am I supposed to trust myself with you? Huh?” When he finally looks at me, an ocean of hurt fills his deep blue eyes.

“How am I supposed to touch you with the same hands . . .” His breathing grows ragged. “

can you want me to?”

My heart cracks wide open as tears pool behind my lids.

Desperate to fix this for him but knowing I can’t. “Hudson . . .” I reach for his back, but he turns around.

His face is tight with an agony I wish he never had to know. “Why aren’t you scared of me? You should be,” he yells. “I’m a fucking monster, Madison. All my years of training, and I killed him.” He yanks at his hair, tortured. “For a belt. For a fucking title. I killed a man. How can you sleep in the same bed with me?”

With a quiet, shaky voice, I counter his yelling, “Because I’m in love with you.” I take his face in my hands and refuse to let him pull away. “Because no matter how much you don’t want to hear it, this is not your fault. I know you. I know the man you are. I know your heart. And you can try to push me away all you want, but I didn’t wait my entire life to find you, just to let you go when things get tough.”

“Maddie,” he chokes and wraps me in his arms, fighting back tears. “I’m so fucking sorry, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Oh, Hudson. It can’t be fixed. It’s not fair. It’s awful. It’s cruel. And there’s no reason for any of it. But life’s not fair. We both know that. And here’s the thing. You’re not alone. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” I breathe him in, refusing to let go. “Ever.”

Hud pulls back with red eyes and hesitantly brushes his lips over mine.

I savor every second before I break the connection and take his hand. “Let’s go do this, then we’ll come back here to grab your bag and pack mine, okay?”

He nods silently, but doesn’t push me away again, so I count it as a small victory.

By the time I walk into my bedroom, it’s late. The sun set hours ago, and exhaustion has set in. Bone deep. Soul deep. Like I’ve trained for eighteen hours straight, but in reality, I spent most of the day quietly thinking about life.

My life. Mason’s life. His wife and unborn baby’s lives.

Trying to figure out the point in any of it, and how I’m supposed to go on like I didn’t take a man’s life. Like this isn’t a pain I’ll live with and feel every day for the rest of my life. It’s senseless. And it’s haunting me.

Jesus, I sound like a whiny little bitch.

Maddie is lying in bed, curled on her side. The sun set over the lake hours ago, and she’s thrown on the black dress shirt I’d taken off earlier. The sleeves are rolled up, and the top few buttons are undone, giving me a glimpse of cleavage and miles of bare, toned legs. Her soft hair falls down around her shoulders, and her bottom lip is caught between her teeth while she reads something on her tablet.

“What are you doing, Mads?” I strip off my pants and climb into bed next to her, trying to catch a glimpse of the screen before she quickly closes the device.

“Reading Cooper’s sister’s newest book.” She places the tablet on the nightstand, then runs her fingers through my hair as a pretty flush creeps up her skin.

It’s funny . . . our roles have reversed.

She touches me so freely now, and I’m the one who wants to flinch away. I can’t help but want to avoid tainting her with the blood permanently covering my hands. But I’m not willing to give her up either. A stronger man probably could have. A better man, maybe. But I’m stronger and better when I’m with her. “You told me you loved me earlier,” I whisper.

Her fingers still, and piercing blue eyes hold mine hostage. “I know what I said, and I meant it.”

“I didn’t say it back.” I cup her delicate face in my hands, pushing past the anxiety at the sight of my hands on her perfect skin. “But I do, you know.”

Her hands cover mine, and she turns her face to press her lips to my palms.

“I love you so damn much, it scares me, baby. Because I don’t know if I’m a good enough man to keep you.”

Maddie sits up quickly and straddles my lap. The pretty flush from moments ago has been replaced with fierce determination. “Were you a good enough man two weeks ago?”

I drag my eyes up her body. “I thought I was.”

She presses her lips to mine, breathing me in.

Taking my breath away and giving me life.

“Nothing has changed, Hudson. You’re the same man today that you were the day I met you. What happened was a horrible accident. It could have happened during any fight. No one knew he had that condition. No. One. Not even Mason, or he wouldn’t have been in that cage.”

I trace my thumb along her jaw.

My hand shakes with the effort of holding back.

Needing to touch her, even though I should be pushing her away.

“You’re alive, Hudson. You’re here with me.” Her lips brush over mine. As if reading my mind, she pushes against my chest. “I need you. Don’t push me away.”

My hands slide under her shirt and up her sides, stopping at the top of her rib cage. I run my thumb over her dragonfly, over her symbol of transformation and self-realization. This strong woman being forced to deal with another shit hand in life. “You’re too good for me, Maddie.”

I cup both of her breasts in my hands, and her responding moan has my cock aching and leaking in my boxers.

“You’re mine, Hudson Kingston,” she whispers against my lips, soft and sweet and setting me on edge. “And I’m not letting go.”

The electricity crackles between us.

Demanding more.

No longer tender.

Hunger fueling us both.

“I’m yours, baby, and I fucking need you.” I rip my lips from hers and drag them down her delicate throat, sucking the soft spot where her neck meets her shoulders. I graze my teeth over that spot until the heat of her pussy grinding down against my cock threatens to drive us both insane.

Maddie tilts her head, giving me better access. Then she yanks on my hair, pulls my head back roughly, and bites my lip. “Then take me.”

I shuck off my boxers and push the scrap of lace covering her pussy aside. My fingers trace the lips of her wet pussy, then slide inside her sex. First one, then a second, all while my cock throbs beneath her. Aching and desperate and wanting.

“You’re so wet for me, Maddie.” She rides my fingers while the heel of my palm presses against her swollen clit. I run my lips along her throat. “You want me to fuck you, baby?”

She whimpers and grinds down, wanting more from me. Needing it. And when I take my hand away, she cries out until I press the head of my cock against her core and thrust into her warm body until I bottom out. Until there’s no room between us. Until we’re one, and we moan in unison.

“Hudson . . .” she keens and rips the starched shirt over her head.

Her tight pink nipples are two hard little peaks on her full breasts. High and firm and goddamned perfect when I suck them into my mouth and fuck into my girl.

I wrap an arm around her and grab her ass, kneading the delicate skin. My finger slips between her cheeks and dances down the crack of her ass. I push further until I get to where we’re joined and run it through the juices already dripping between us, then slide back up until I’m circling that forbidden hole.

She gasps and hums as the walls of her pussy flutter around me with just the tiniest push of my index finger in sync with my cock.

Maddie moans with short little breaths, each higher pitched than the last as she buries her head in my neck and pushes against me until I’m knuckle-deep and fucking both her holes.

“That’s it, baby. You like it when I fill you up? The way my cock fucks your pretty pussy while my finger fills your virgin ass?”

A strangled mess of sounds and words falls from her lips as her already impossibly hot, tight cunt clamps down harder, choking my dick. “Oh, God.” She throws her head back and closes her eyes.

“Eyes on me, Madison.” I slow my strokes, prolonging her orgasm. “I’m the one making you come. The only one who ever fucking will, and you’re watching me do it.”

Once she goes limp in my arms, I flip us over without ever losing our connection, and her body comes alive again.

I pull out slowly and slam back into her, watching her back arch and her perfect tits bounce with each thrust.

She brings her knees up and cradles me between her thighs, meeting me thrust for thrust, grabbing my hips, digging her nails into the flesh of my ass. A possessiveness is in her eyes I recognize, mirroring my own.

I take both her hands in mine and slide my body over hers until we’re chest to chest. Sweaty and slick. My cock throbs inside her, the base grinding against her clit. Holding both hands above her head, flat to the mattress, I set a slow, almost lazy pace.

It’s practically burning me from the inside out to keep myself from fucking her like a wild animal. To take what I want and show her how good mindless fucking can be. But I’m not ready for this to be over. Not yet. Not ever.

She bucks against me, trying to top from the bottom, and I laugh.

“Oh, sunshine.” I pull my hips back, then move both her wrists into one of my hands, so I can use the other to tease her clit with the head of my cock.

Maddie moans and writhes against me as I slide the tip in, then out again. Changing the tempo. The angle. Teasing her. Giving her enough to have her wanting. Needy and begging.

She whimpers and whines. “Hud. Oh my God. Hudson . . .” She drags my name out as I push in further this time.

Prolonging this.

Needing everything about it.

Needing my connection to her—to us—to last forever.

She tugs against the grip I have on her wrists, desperately trying to force me to give her what she wants. Again. And I smile a wicked smile.

“I know what this pussy needs.” I finally let go of her wrists, and both my hands pin down her waist, holding her to the bed as I slam in and out of her, rolling my hips and rubbing against her walls over and over again.

“Hudson,” she chants. “Hudson.

.”

I take her lips in a blistering kiss as my orgasm wraps itself around the base of my spine, pushing against the confines of my body before finally splintering and filling her.

Maddie’s body milks every last drop from me.

Our lips still tangled.

Her hands run up and down my back as her legs twine around my waist.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“You own my heart, sunshine.”