But I donât move. Embarrassment pools in my cheeks.
Then his hand grips mine, and he brings our hands down my stomach and to the top of my thighs.
âIf you donât want to do it, you donât have to, but I think youâll like it,â Hardin says softly.
âI do,â I decide.
He smiles knowingly. âYou sure?â
âYeah, Iâm just . . . nervous,â I admit. I feel much more comfortable with Hardin than with anyone Iâve known in my entire life, and I know he wonât do anything to make me uncomfortable, not in a malicious way at least. I am just overthinking thisâpeople do it all the time. Right?
âDonât be. Youâll like it.â He bites down on the corner of his mouth, and I smile nervously. âAnd donât worry: if you canât get yourself off, Iâll do it for you. Itâs no foreskin off my back.â
âHardin!â I groan in embarrassment and plop my head back down on the pillow. I hear him laugh lightly and say, âLike this.â
He spreads my fingers. My heartbeat increases dramatically as he brings my hand . . . there. It feels so strange. Foreign and just strange. Iâm so used to the way Hardinâs hands feel on me, the way his fingers are rough and callused, the way they are long and slender, the way they know exactly how to touch me, how to . . .
âJust do this.â Hardinâs voice is thick with lust as he guides my fingers to the most sensitive spot. Iâm trying not to think about what weâre doing . . . what Iâm doing?
âHow does it feel?â Hardin asks.
âI . . . donât know,â I mutter.
âYes, you do. Tell me, Tess,â he half demands and removes his hand from mine. I whimper at the loss of contact and begin to remove my hand. âNo, keep it there, baby.â His tone makes my hand snap back to the spot. âContinue,â he commands lightly.
I gulp and close my eyes, trying to repeat what Hardin was doing. It doesnât feel nearly as good as when he does it, but it most certainly doesnât feel bad either. The pressure in my lower stomach begins to build again, and I screw my eyes shut, trying to pretend that itâs Hardinâs fingers that are making me feel this way.
âYou look so hot touching yourself in front of me,â Hardin says and I canât help but moan and continue to trace the pattern that heâs shown my fingers.
When I open my eyes slightly, I see Hardinâs hand rubbing over his jeans. Oh my God. Why is this so hot? This is something I thought people only did in naughty films, not real life. Hardin makes everything so hot, no matter how strange it is. His eyes are focused between my legs, and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip, making his silver ring stand up taut.
The second I feel he may catch me looking at him, I snap my eyes shut, I shut off my subconscious. This is a normal and natural thing, everyone does it . . . just not everyone has someone watching them, but if they had Hardin, they surely would.
âSuch a good girl for me, always,â he says into my ear, nipping at my earlobe. His breath is hot and smells of mint, and it makes me want to scream and melt into the sheets at the same time.
âDo it, too,â I breathe, barely recognizing my voice.
âWhat?â
âDo what Iâm doing . . .â I say, not wanting to use the word.
âYou want that?â He sounds surprised.
âYes . . . please, Hardin.â Iâm getting so close and I need this, I need to take some of the focus off of me, and honestly, seeing him rubbing himself just now did wicked things to me, and I want to see him do it again, that and more.
âOkay,â he answers simply. Hardin is so confident when it comes to sex. I wish I was the same way.
I hear the zipper of his jeans, and I try to slow down the movements of my fingers; if I donât, this will be over very, very soon.
âOpen your eyes, Tess,â he demands, and I oblige.
His hand wraps around his bare length, and my eyes go wide at the perfect sight as I watch Hardin do something I never thought I would see anyone do.
He leans his head down again. This time he plants a single kiss on my neck before bringing his mouth back to my ear. âYou like this, donât you? You like to watch me pleasure myself, you are so dirty, Tess, so fucking dirty.â
My eyes never leave his hand between his legs. His hand moves faster as he continues talking to me. âIâm not going to last long watching you, baby. You have no idea how fucking hot this is.â He groans and I do the same.
I no longer feel uncomfortable. I am close, so close, and I want Hardin to be close, too. âIt feels so good, Hardin . . .â I moan, not caring how stupid or desperate I sound. Itâs the truth, and he makes me feel like itâs okay to feel this way.
âFuck. Say something else,â he grits out.
âI want you to come, Hardin, just picture my mouth around you . . .â The filthy words tumble from my lips, and I feel the warmth on my stomach as he releases onto my flaming skin. That does it for me, and I come undone from my own doing and close my eyes as I repeat his name over and over.
When I open my eyes, Hardin is leaning up on his elbow next to me, and I instantly bury my face in his neck.
âHow was it?â he asks, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me close to him.
âI donât know . . .â I lie.
âDonât be shy, I know you liked it. So did I.â He kisses the top of my head, and I look up at him.
âI did, but I still like it better when you do it,â I admit and he smiles.
âWell, I would hope so,â he says, and I lift my head up to plant a kiss over the indent of his dimple. âThere are a lot of things I can show you,â he adds, and when I flush again he reassures me, âOne step at a time.â