Aftermath

Luca's POV

Alberto pushed me off of his lap. I felt a lump in my throat start to form. Weren't we just making out less than ten seconds ago? Had I done something wrong? Why did Alberto look so upset?

My eyes met his piercing green stare. Alberto looked away.

"Beto-" I said. "Are you okay?"

He returned my concerned remark with a stare to the ground. Gosh, he couldn't even look at me. What had I done? I am always messing things up .

Alberto's POV

I had to get away from Luca. My self control was nonexistent and my brain was racing, overflowing with a sea of thoughts, what ifs, and confusion. I liked kissing Luca, but I am so scared. We can't go back now, not to the way things used to be. They will never be same. I don't know if this is a good thing or not but I can't stop to think about it. I need to escape but also play it smooth.

"And that's how you kiss Luca! Gosh, look at the time, it's getting late!" I'm gonna head to bed!" I said, making a show out of fake yawning to hopefully convince Luca I was tired.

"Oh, okay Beto- good night." Luca replied, his eyes glued to the floor.

I turn my face away from him, holding back tears. I know exactly what I'm doing and I know it's not right or fair. But I can't deal with this right now, I'm not ready and I don't know if I ever will be. There is so much at risk. And even though I've waited such a long time to kiss the boy sitting in front of me, deep down, I am so scared that if this goes any further that I could lose him. The thought of that alone makes me nauseous.

I  quickly mute my brain and get up from off the floor. I turn my face away from Luca, letting it relax a bit and release some of the tears I was holding back. I walk down the hall into my room. It's 1 am. I am so tired. I flop on my bed, refusing to think about the situation at hand and just wait as sleep soon takes me away, temporarily for the night.