I got my own
set of scars to hide
I got my own
imperfections...
__
Bella Shmurda's 'Cash out' blared from the stereo, resonating across the whole building, while Elo screamed to the dialogue-like song, causing everyone to groan in frustration.
"Babe seriously, will you die if you listen to a reasonable song for once?" Nene groaned, a spatula in one hand, turning sliced plantains on a frypan filled with sizzling vegetable oil.
Elo paused with his ear splitting singing skill, glaring at his girlfriend from on top the marble island. "You're listening to a fucking legend babe. I'm offering y'all the streets anthem and y'all are being ungrateful, seriously?"
"Abeg, abeg!" Nene countered, pointing the spatula which she just taken out of the frypan at him. "Kindly take your street anthem outside this house, before I throw you out instead."
"Babe!" Elo yelled in mock despair. "Not you too, thought we were in this together."
"You and who?" She scowled. "Do I look like I need chains."
He pouted, "Not fair. I loved you before your Instagram became pretty."
She smiled sweetly at him, while batting her lashes. "That's because I was and still am, a pretty thang honey. You didnor have a choice."
Jiki and Lara snickered behind him.
He spun around to face them, scowling. "Y'all can't appreciate and identify good music when you see one. See song weh get vibes like this."
Jiki spared him a concerned glance. Albeit, it reeked of mockery. "You might want to get your boyfriend's brain diagnosed before it's too late." Elo glared daggers at him, but he continued anyway. "Must be a few missing brain screws perhaps. But it's nothing a good psychiatrist can't fix."
"Absolutely!" Nene concurred, much to Elo's horror. "Why didn't I think of it. It's definitely a few missing screws."
"Na, na. It's far from missing brain screws," Lara mocked. "It's definitely, trashymusiococci."
That had them breaking out in breathless laughter.
"Trashymusio- what the hell is that Lara?" Jiki stared up at her, his eyes tearing up from laughing too much.
The quiet girl shrugged, whilst grinning. "Ask El, he's the one suffering from the disease not me."
Elo showed her the finger, a smile too broke from his lips.
"Y'all are annoying I swear." He conceded, not quite interested in dragging the issue any further.
Nene blew him a kiss. "We love you too."
Lara narrowed her eyes at him in slits. "You gave in too soon El, what up?"
He shrugged, giving them a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Who said I gave in. I'm trying to be the better person."
Jiki let out a mock gasp, his hands placed on his chest. "When have you and better ever been a good mix?"
"Idiot."
That was when they finally took in the due who just walked into the kitchen, with hands glue together.
"Ooh, look what the cat dragged in." Nene cheesed, a mischievous grin dancing in her brown orbs as she took them in.
TJ's eyes took her in her out fit. She rocked a pink, chef attire, while going overboard with a pink chef hat. "They really handed you the reins to take us to our early graves this pleasant morning?"
She waved the spatula dripping with hot oil, causing him to take a step back. "Damn right. I think your name's first on my hit list!"
"Touche Nens, death doesn't scare me."
"Since you two decided to bless us peasants with your presence," Elo gave them a mock bow, feeling the need to speak up. "We're honoured."
"I think the right pronoun should be 'me' not 'us', El." Jiki opposed. "I'm only seeing one peasant here."
A dramatic gasp left Elo's lips as he pointed accusing finger at the fairer boy. "You idiot! I was trying to defend your honor!"
Jiki shrugged. "No thanks. Answer your father's name dude."
The rest guffawed at their hilarious exchange.
"Na me cause am." Elo pouted, glaring daggers at him. "Ungrateful son of a bitch."
"Ignore this clown," Jiki said to Chimdi, genuine concern etched on his face. "How are you feeling?"
Uncomfortable under their scrutinizing gaze, she offered them a small smile. "Never been better."
Jiki gave her a nod before looking away, while Elo totally avoided making eye contact. The act unsettled Chimdi.
Lara aimed a fake glare her way. "Don't you dare scare us that way again. Ever."
Chimdi grinned, giving her a curt salute. "Yes ma."
"You're lucky you came down in time." Nene scolded, but one couldn't miss the underlying concern. "I was planning on dragging you down myself. Head first. If you try that shit you pulled next time, I'll use this spatula on you I swear!"
"There's no next time Nens." TJ replied, taking Chimdi into his arms.
Chimdi felt awkward and totally self conscious as she stood in the middle of the large kitchen, with TJ's arms around her.
"I see," Nene drawled out, a knowing smile making it's presence known on her face. "You've been taking care of her quite alright."
"Did a great job, didn't I?"
The skinny girl hissed to conceal her embarrassment, before freeing herself from his light embrace. "The two of you are crazy."
While Nene's eyes scanned the skinny girl from head to toe, before widening in astonishment.
"Boys-- out of my kitchen right now!" She threatened, pointing a very hot spatula at the boys.
"Whoa!" Jiki backtracked, his hands raised in surrender as he avoided contact with the hot utensil. "It's my kitchen we're talking about here."
"You're talking in nonsense." She turned to Elo and TJ. "Leave here, all of you."
Spatula in hand and multiple threat words later, the darker girl succeeded in chasing the boys out of the kitchen.
She turned to face Chimdi. "Now missy, explain the origin of these hickeys littered on your neck this moment."
Chimdi's fingers made to her exposed neck, her body heating up in memory of what she and TJ had been up to minutes ago.
She cleared her throat, looking for a way out of the deep shit she was into.
Rescue came in form of totally blazed up plantains, burning up on top of the cooking gas.
"Umm- " The skinny girl coughed, pointing at their supposed breakfast. "You might want to take care of that first."
The darker girl turned to the totally burnt plantains, curse words falling off her lips. "Oh shit! Jiki is so killing me!"
The noisy expulsion of air filled the kitchen as Nene scurried to clean up her mess.
__
The sun was ready to take it's leave as Chimdi padded down the spiraling stairway, with swollen lips and heart on a thudding spree, which were both courtesy of what she and her boyfriend had been up to.
Boyfriend?
The word albeit strange, tasted like a burst of fruity goodness on her tongue.
He -- the boy who'd wheezed into her life without a permit, bulldozed the carefully placed barricades she'd put up and had given more meaning to life -- was her boyfriend?
It would have been too hard a truth to come to terms with, however, the memory of his lips right on hers, on her face, right where her pulse beat thick and fast -- was making things more believable for her.
What was meant to be a casual conversation with him had morphed into a heated make out session which involved; tangled sheets and intertwined limbs. And he sure as hell tricked her into believing they were only going to talk about the weather and how pleasant the air they breathed in was.
She scowled, scolding herself for falling into his carefully woven web of deceit. That didn't last long as her thoughts was replaced with the way his hands had woven through her luxuriant curls, guiding her face to his reach as he'd kissed her senseless, rendering her defenseless and turning her to mushy goo.
He'd kissed her like he had a ravaging thirst to be quenched by any means, like she was the only oasis in a drying desert, he'd kissed her like he wanted to taste her soul, drown himself in the magic that was kissing her. He'd kissed her breathless yet, kissing him felt like breathing. Infact, being in his presence felt like breathing-- living.
She recalled how he'd been the previous hours, right from when he'd confessed how he felt and had guided her down, staying by her side and not letting her go for a second. Even after Nene had shooed the guys away, he'd managed to find his way in when Nene's cooking skills turned into a suicide scheme and had continued to stay glued to her side through breakfast.
Inexorable, he was.
As much as she loved his nurturing and protective streak, she couldn't help but feel she might come to truly depend on him eventually, that was- if she wasn't already.
He'd taken more than a peek into the life she'd managed to keep locked away, broken down her defenses and demolished the walls she'd carefully built up and it didn't help that she too was becoming comfortable, basking in his warmth, his youthful exuberance and charm. Seeking refuge in his warm embrace and pouring out her heart to him without intending to. He was like the confessor, able to make her empty her heart and soul to him without sweating.
Now that was the problem, she didn't want to depend on him - anyone. She wanted to bear her cross alone, claw her way through the whole ordeal, if need be.
A sudden collision with another being had her reeling back and fighting for balance. Warm arms caught her. She didn't have to look up to know who her savior was.
"Damnit Dee! you should really watch it before it watches you." With hands holding her in place, Elo scolded.
"Very wise words coming from the most graceful," she grinned, finally finding her footing.
He sighed, his hands lazily running across his now unkempt locs. "Sorry, I was in a hurry. Have you seen TJ?"
"He's in his room." She noticed he wasn't looking her in the face. "El are you okay?"
He nodded, still avoiding her gaze. "Yeah, just a little distracted."
Making sure she was indeed safe, he took a step away from her scrutinizing gaze. "Thanks though." He called back, already on his way up.
Chimdi stared back at his retreating figure, thinking that he was being unusually strange. And she couldn't figure out if his behavior was spurred by a fallout with his girlfriend, since they both had a thing or two to always argue about. But after recalling that Nene and Lara had bade her farewell before TJ had whisked her away to his room and that he'd been acting strange earlier in the day too, she gave up.
Post Malone's number, a blend of grunge, R&B and hip-hop teased her ears when she reached Jiki's room. Giving the gold door knob a twist, she let herself in, therefore getting the full measure of the heart thudding music as it assaulted her ears. She winced, eyes trailing the teal and cream of his room, nose inhaling the distinct scent that was his alone.
"Tired of bugging Kodiri already?"Jiki walked out, lean body covered in nothing but grey sweatpants, glowing with what looked like perspiration under the florescent bulb above them a good indication that he'd been working out.
Chimdi scrunched her face up in disgust as she took him in. "Please tell me that that's not sweat."
He rolled his eyes, while reaching for a face towel. "I didn't ask you to come find me."
"Jeez, what crept up your lingerie?"
"I don't wear feminine underwear Dee. What are you doing here?"
"Ouch. It's refreshing to know you miss me too." She followed him out to his balcony. "What's up, why are you acting like a total bitch?"
She saw his lips twitch just a little before he sighed out long. "I'm tired, that's it. Back to my previous question, are you already running out of people to bug?"
"I don't just bug anybody Jikiboo," she cooed, coming to seat beside him on the window sill.
She couldn't just explain in, she'd been feeling a great deal of positive energy surrounding her, like she was tucked into a happy bubble - the nice scenting ones.
The fairer boy shook his head, with eyes still fixed on his cellphone. "How can I forget. I'm getting first hand treatment, aren't I?"
"Too bad someone has taken the position already."
"What a pleasant relief."
She elbowed him. "What the fuck is your problem!"
He glared at her, focus finally on her. "You hit me and still ask what my problem is?"
"Maybe if you were a little receptive, I wouldn't have taken that route!"
"Dee," he called out softly, taking in her scowling form. "You don't need my permission or any warm welcome to make my room a comfort zone and you know it."
"But that's not what I'm talking about." She sighed. "It's like you don't want me here. You were being distant in the morning too. Just out with it and I'll find my way out."
Sighing out in frustration, he ran his long toned fingers through his wet hair. "Listen Dee, I'll never not want you around me and you know it. My problem here is my best friend who goes through enough shit but doesn't try to confide in me. Now she's back and done with suppressing her feelings, wanting me to believe her life is suddenly full of sunshines and rainbows."
Taken aback by his complaint, she blanched, feeling the weight of his accusations - though true - settle on her. True, she hid things from him just like a recovering alcoholic hid his secret wine stash and she'd forever bear the guilt of being an unfair friend, but he was wrong about her suppressing and ignoring her feelings.
She handled them whichever way she could, in her capability. The nightmares she endured every fucking time made sure of it. She'd tried to take that route - the route of sharing. And where had that left her? With the need to turn back the hands of time.
Though he was her best friend, that wasn't a leverage to throw accusations her way. She'd tried to handle things her way - herself and would always keep it that way.
Her fight was hers alone.
Returning his pensive stare, she held his gaze in what seemed like a stare-down. He stared - more like - glared back, didn't take his eyes off hers and she did same.
After a while, he stared away, standing off the sill. "You know damn well I hit right on the spot Dee, you're just being hard-headed.
"Am I ?" She provoked, glaring daggers back at him. "You think I suppress my feelings and pretend life is nothing but a bed full of roses with non-existent thorns?"
"That's not what I'm unto Dee and you know it."
"Do I?" She bristled, standing up.
"C'mon Dee," sighing, he stood up too, resting his hands on her shoulder, while giving her a light shake. "Don't you get it? you're my best friend for fucks sake! You think seeing you blanch out that way, the other day after hearing what- what Aby said didn't hurt me?" He left her side to pace around. "She hurt one of the few important people in my life Dee. She hurt you and right before me too and I couldn't do anything to save you but stared back like a fucking moron. You think I'm okay with it?"
She stared at him confused, not knowing if they were still talking about her or something else.
"I don't need saving Jiki, I can take care of myself."
"That's your fucking problem!" He lashed out, startling her a little. "You return after taking off, blocking everyone including me out and now you expect me to act like life's fucking fantastic?"
"I didn't take off for fucks sake!" She screamed. "I needed some time alone to get my shit together. I needed to fight my own battles and you don't have any right to question my action Jiki! You handle your issues your way and nobody ever questions you, why the hell am I the bad person here?"
"Because I share all of them with you! You're my best friend Dee. Best friends have each other's back and don't ever hide from one another, best friends are each other's source of strength. Then why the hell does it feel like you're more of a stranger than one."
"But that has never been a problem," she sighed out, palming her face in utter frustration and not liking the route the conversation was taking at the moment. "and you know it. You know there are certain things I prefer to handle myself."
"Great," he snarled, shifting his weight unto a foot. "Certain things you prefer to handle yourself by locking yourself up and suppressing your feelings till it fucks you over?"
"Contrary to your belief Jiki, I do not suppress my feelings." She gritted out, lying through her dentals. She knew he hit right on the head this time. But that was the least of her problems. Her main concern was aimed at why he was acting out of the ordinary. "And I do not lock myself up. TJ made it in and so could you, if you really cared!"
He let out a surprisingly hoarse laugh while shaking his head disbelievingly. "Great, the new guy comes into the picture and you suddenly throw every other person to the curb? Just great!"
"You know what?" She spat out, furious with rage, making her way into the room. "This was probably my worst decision ever. When your thinking faculty is intact, you should come get me."
A hand shot out, circling her midriff when her hand had successfully made to the door knob. She halted, the only sound surrounding her coming from the purring air conditioner above them and the trap song coming from his stereo.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, hugging her close. "I've been having a rather rough day. I'm sorry I had to vent out on you."
"If you were so frustrated Jiki, you should have just talked it out instead of acting like a total asshole."
"Sometimes, talking isn't always enough," he murmured.
"Fine, you should have let out some steam. Vent your frustrations on a damn punching bag and not me. You questioned our whole friendship for Christ's sake!"
"I'm sorry," he continued to murmur, keeping her from reaching for the door. "My mind's a jumbled mess right now. I just need to breath."
She struggled in his grip, trying to push him off. "I think I need to leave, so you can breath just fine."
He chuckled, keeping her in place. "No one's asking you to leave. You can stay as long as you like."
He released her, walking to his bedstand to grab a bottle of water.
She glared at his back, muttering 'asshole' before walking to what looked like a boy's vanity, running her hand through sets of masculine toiletries.
Her fingers skimmed through a feminine toiletry, a smirk forming on her lips as she took it.
"Do you have a secret facial hair that I'm not aware of?" She dangled the lotion in the air, catching his attention.
She heard him growl. "Keep your hands to yourself Dee. Will you."
"Not when I can't help myself." She teased, getting her hands on another lotion. "I wasn't aware that you're now using beauty products Jikiboo. Maybe that's why your glow has been a little bit off these days."
She turned to watch him drilling holes into her back, his eyes zoning in the lotion dangling in her hand. "Or, are your non-existent girlfriends having slumber parties in your room already?"
She saw his jaws clench together in fury. "I told you to keep your hands to yourself Dee!"
"And I told you I wasn't going to."
The fairer boy sighed to calm himself, staring scoldingly at her. "I know you're still pissed Dee, just drop it will you. I don't feel like playing around."
Chimdi sensed the tiredness lurking his voice. He was indeed not in the mood, and his eyes, the bags under it spoke volumes of how much rest he'd had.
Sighing out in defeat too, she dropped the lotion back on his vanity before making her way to the door. Guess he really needed his space.
"Damnit!" He cursed. "I didn't ask you to leave."
She ignored him, not in the mood to indulge him any further.
However, his next words had her halting in her stride. "Mum sent the lotions."
She stilled, before turning to take in his tired figure propped on the only cushion in the room.
"She sends them every month." He continued, voice weighed with unexpressed emotions. "I can't tell her they're feminine toiletries Dee, else she's going to beat herself up for nothing."
Taking slow steps to where he sat, her heart squeezed together at the look on his face. She knew how much effect his mother's condition had on him - knew how helpless he was.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, sharing the little space left on the cushion. "Have you called her as of recent?"
She felt him stiffen, before seeing his jaws clench together, revealing his answer.
"Why?" She prodded, when he hissed. Veins became prominent on his fair skin. "Don't you think you should at least give her a call, know how she's faring this period?"
"When was the last time you spoke to Ginika!" He finally snapped, regretting the words the minute it left his lips.
Chimdi recoiled, like she'd been burnt.
She balled her fists to keep herself from slapping him. "That was very low, Jiki." Her voice warned in a what sounded like a whisper.
Remorseful, he buried his face into his palms. Already too ashamed of transferring aggression on her. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for yourself."
He sighed, tired and drained of any energy left to discuss further. "I don't want us to fight again Dee."
"I'm sorry cos, you're doing the exact opposite of what you want."
"You think I'm not trying hard enough to keep this conversation combat free?"
After casting an uncongenial glare at him, Chimdi hissed. "At least a simple yes or no to my question would have made your wish into a reality."
"Ya' Allah!" He cursed, standing up. "When did this conversation take this route?"
He was met with Chimdi's smoldering gaze.
Exhaling in what seemed like the nth time, he turned his back at her, hands tucked into the pockets of his sweats. "I'm sorry I acted out that way Dee. I guess I just needed to vent out my frustrations."
He heard her snort. "I've heard that one before."
He turned to glare at her. "I'm trying to be the sane one here Dee. Don't push it."
"While I'm trying to be the insane one?" She shot back, meeting his glare with one of hers. "I may have overstepped. But you were being an ass by bringing my mum into this just to spite me. Don't blame it on frustration or on some flimsy excuse. It's all on you!"
"Damnit fine! You shouldn't expect much from a child whose father restricted from reaching out to his own mother! But I'm trying to be less of an asshole to you, it should be enough!"
Chimdi sucked in a breath at his words. Her face softening in seconds. "He did that?"
"He wants me to come home Dee. He knows the only way to lure me back is through Mum." His hands wiped his face briefly before he came back to his former position on the cushion. "He's using her to manipulate me. He's making a fool of himself if he thinks I'm playing his sick game this time. Hell, I just wish I could-"
"Beat him up with a sledgehammer?"
He whipped his head around to stare at her. His lips twitching to let lose a smile. "When did you become violent Dee? I'm beginning to think Nens is rubbing off on you."
"I don't like your father. No big deal." She shrugged before dropping her hands on his shoulder.
"Don't sweat over hating him Jikiboo. He's not worth the energy you'll put into hating him."
He smiled, casually leaning into her embrace. "Damn right, remind me of that often."
They stayed that way for a while enjoying the comfort solace offered.
"So," Jiki began, straining his neck to stare at her. "You and Kodiri?"
She felt her body heat up at the mere mention of his name. Trying not to clear her throat, she rolled her eyes. "Yes, the guy that got me kicking you guys to the curb."
His laughter followed her reply. Deep and light. "I set myself for that one, didn't I?"
"Of course."
He smiled. "Ignore my comments Dee. Though this sounds fucking cliché, I'm happy you found each other. He's good for you."
She turned to face him. "What do you mean?"
"You're glowing Dee. And I'm not saying you haven't been glowing all these while," he defended when she sent him a glare. "You've got a glow that those costly glow creams you buy every month fail to give you. And you're happier too -- and more human."
She gasped, tightening her hold around his at his last statement causing him to wince.
Her hands immediately left his neck same time, her body left his side.
"Sorry, I don't know if snuggling up with you will still look right." She stared at him as if asking him to understand. "Now I'm you know... dating?"
He hissed, snaking his hands around her. "Bullshit. Just cos I let him date my best friend doesn't mean he can have her all to himself."
"You know you're an asshole right." She laughed, snuggling close.
"Right," he shrugged, his smile matching hers. "That was why you stuck to me at first. Remember?"
She elbowed him, relishing his pained whimper.
"I'm still wondering why it took him so long to come clean." He mused, his focus now on the cellphone in his free hand.
"Long?" She asked, her voice resting on his shoulder as she too went through her cellphone. "What do you mean?"
"Lover boy has liked you for quite a long time though." He replied absent-mindedly.
And because the information really added a good inch to her already long ego, she looked up in anticipation.
He shook his head, without looking at her. He knew what she was capable of. "I'm not divulging any further than that Dee."
"Aww c'mon! What's there anyway?"
"I'll be breaking a major bro-code."
She snorted, leaning away from him. "What am I?"
He raised an amused brow.
"Am I not a 'Bro' too?" She whined, face already sulky.
"Bro? Are fucking kidding me right now?" He asked, snickering at her sulky face, before giving her a brief once-over. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror?"
__