Donovonâs POV
Keeping my gaze trained forward, I walk towards the pack ground ignoring the hatred in the eyes of my pack members.
They still submit to me, but I have lost their respect and love. My heart says I deserved it, but the strange thing is that I donât know what I did to deserve this.
All I know I did something wrong.
Whenever I try to remember what has happened my mind shuts down, stripping my memories of the entire day. So, I have stopped trying to recall anything, however, this doesnât mean I have given up.
Somebody is manipulating my mind, this much I have understood and the disappearance of my wolf is also connected to it.
In the past fifteen days, I have learned somethings which are helping me in dealing with my situation... I have also discovered a weak but effective way to protect my mind from going blank. I donât try to recall my memories which are erased from my mind, because they are related to someone who I am not allowed to remember.
Someone who is away from me.
Whoever has locked my memories, donât know that you can erase memories from one mind, but you canât remove the image which is engraved on your heart.
Her face... always flashes before my eyes when things become overwhelming for me. And instantly, peace settles inside my heart.
But whenever her name comes to my tongue, a pain ripples inside my head, and my mind goes blank.
âYou are not our Luna, and you never will be.â An angry female pack member glares at Emma, stopping me from walking further as I hide behind a wall to see what is happening.
âHow dare you disrespect your Luna?â Emma snarls, âI will banish you from the pack.â
âOur Luna is Ivory, not a bitch like you.â My chest fills with pride as the she-wolf doesnât back down.
However, the name sends a jolt of spark inside my heart.
âShe wasnât your Luna, she has put a spell on all of you like she kept Donovon away from his true mate, that is me.â Emma glares, while venom dripping from her tone.
âShe did put a cast on us and our hearts.â She-wolf nods her head, meeting Emmaâs gaze unflinchingly, âA cast of love and respect.â
âYou canât be her, and this pack will never accept you as the Luna even if Alpha Donovon accepts you as his mate.â She spits at Emmaâs feet and walks away.
Quickly, I resume walking towards the pack ground before Emma can see me.
In my heart, I keep repeating the letters of the name, because I know the moment I think or say the name then I will be standing on the square one.
I...V...O...R...Y.
Even the letters of her name calm the chaos inside me.
Nearing the pack ground, I change my direction to the old border patrol post which is now abandoned. This is where I come and think about how to get myself out of this trap.
Opening the window, I slip inside the post without unlocking the front door so no one can realize there is someone inside.
Taking out a paper and pen from the wooden desk I write down the name on the paper, so that even if I lose my memories I can still be able to recall this name.
Because she is someone for whom my heart cries, she is the one who is meant to be mine, but I have lost her.
The letters of her name blur as my eyes filled with tears, while pain tears my heart into a million pieces.
Even though I am in pain, but still watching her name warms my heart.
This pain is because I am away from her. Every moment I am dying without her.
Tears run down my face because there is a void inside my heart and I can sense it is not because of her... along with her I have also lost someone who is mine.
Like a piece of my heart is gone.
I am constantly living in torture, and I donât know how or when this torture will end.
I have no one to confide in because nobody can understand what I am going through.
Moreover, even if my family tries to reach me Emma pulls me away from them and I feel helpless because I canât do anything. I can see the fury in their eyes towards Emma, but what they canât see the rage in which I am burning every single moment.
Because I know my life is ruined because of her.
Once again my gaze falls on the paper and while looking at her name, her face comes before my eyes as warmth spreads through my being dulling all the pain which I am feeling.
Only she can save me, she is my hope... my radiance.
Closing my eyes, I made a promise to her and myself... once I will break this prison in which I am held, I will end everyone who has ruined our life and happiness.
The beginning of this bloodshed will be with Emmaâs blood because she has separated me from my destiny.
"I love you." Words fall from my mouth, naturally, as picking up the paper I hold her name against my heart.
Even though I donât have my memories, even though whenever I try to think about her darkness consumes me... but I know one thing, that the feeling which I have for her...is nothing but love.
They may take my memories, but they canât strip her love from my heart... Because whenever I am lost my heart always leads me back to her.