The days had been a little off since that night. Xia Fei couldn't quite place it, but something felt different. It wasn't just the usual quiet that lingered when Vein was around-no, this felt deeper, like a gap between them that was slowly growing wider with each passing day.
Xia Fei was trying, really trying, to ignore it. To ignore the quiet longing he didn't want to acknowledge. But the more he tried, the more impossible it became.
At first, it was just the small things. When Vein had asked if they could grab lunch together after work, Xia Fei had immediately come up with some excuse about needing to catch up on studies. Vein hadn't protested, just gave him a knowing look before nodding and leaving him to it. Xia Fei had almost felt guilty for it, but the pressure in his chest had made it too hard to accept the invitation.
Then it was the moments when Vein stood a little too close to him or when their hands brushed as they passed something between them. It felt electric, like a spark that never fully fizzled out. Xia Fei would feel his heartbeat quicken, his breath hitch, but he would quickly look away, pretending not to notice. He couldn't let Vein see how badly his body responded to him.
Today, it had been no different. Xia Fei kept to his corner of the room during their photoshoot, pretending to focus on his work while Vein observed from a distance. He knew Vein was watching, but he refused to meet his gaze, too afraid that his emotions would betray him.
When the shoot was over, Vein had asked him, in that calm, detached voice, "Are you coming to dinner tonight?"
Xia Fei didn't answer right away. He fumbled with his camera bag, then mumbled something about needing rest and possibly catching up on things. Vein had looked at him then, his expression unreadable.
"You've been distant," Vein remarked, his voice carrying a weight that Xia Fei couldn't ignore.
"I'm fine," Xia Fei replied quickly, almost too quickly. "Just a bit tired."
Vein studied him for a moment longer before nodding and turning away, a flicker of something behind his eyes that Xia Fei couldn't quite place. He could feel Vein's gaze lingering on his back as he walked away, and it only made the knot in his stomach tighten.
---
Later that night, Xia Fei sat at his desk in his small apartment, the only light coming from the dim lamp on his desk. He had been staring at his laptop screen for the past hour, but his mind was elsewhere-on the way Vein had looked at him earlier, on the way his presence felt like it was just too much to bear.
The silence of the apartment felt suffocating. Normally, it was his safe space, but tonight, it only seemed to highlight the distance between him and Vein. A distance that Xia Fei had been desperately trying to maintain, but which seemed to be pulling them apart with an intensity he couldn't control.
Just as Xia Fei reached for his phone, the device buzzed on his desk. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Vein's name flash across the screen.
You busy?
Xia Fei stared at the message for a few seconds, the words swimming in front of his eyes. He wasn't sure why, but a feeling of unease washed over him. He felt trapped in a limbo between wanting to talk to Vein and the overwhelming fear of what that might mean.
I'm just finishing up some stuff, Xia Fei typed back, his fingers slightly trembling. What's up?
The response came a moment later. I miss you.
Xia Fei froze. His heart thudded in his chest, his breath catching in his throat. The words felt like a bomb, leaving his mind reeling. How was he supposed to respond to that?
He stared at the message for what felt like an eternity, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. The truth was, he missed Vein too-more than he was willing to admit, even to himself.
His phone buzzed again. Another message from Vein.
Don't avoid me, Xia Fei.
Xia Fei felt his stomach drop. There was no mistaking the weight in those words. It wasn't a question; it was a demand, wrapped in the care he could no longer ignore.
Before he could gather himself to reply, a knock echoed at the door. His heart leaped into his throat as he stood, unease settling over him like a heavy blanket. He knew who it was before he even opened the door.
When he did, Vein stood there, looking uncharacteristically serious, his brow furrowed. He didn't speak right away, just looked at Xia Fei with those piercing eyes, as if searching for something deep within him.
Xia Fei swallowed thickly, his mouth dry. "Vein...?"
"Let me in," Vein said quietly, stepping forward without waiting for an invitation. Xia Fei's legs felt like they were made of stone as he stepped back, giving him space to enter.
Once inside, Vein closed the door behind him. His eyes never left Xia Fei as he walked further into the apartment. "Why are you avoiding me?" he asked, his voice low but firm.
Xia Fei shook his head, though it felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. "I'm not avoiding you," he muttered, though the words didn't sound convincing, even to himself.
Vein's lips pressed together, his gaze never wavering. "You're lying." His tone was soft, but there was a sharpness beneath it. "I can see it. I've been seeing it for days now."
Xia Fei's chest tightened, and for a moment, he thought he might collapse under the weight of everything he hadn't said. "I just... I don't know what you want from me, Vein," he finally admitted, his voice strained. "I don't know what this is between us."
Vein didn't respond immediately. He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming, but not in a way that made Xia Fei want to pull away. "What if I told you I wanted you?" Vein whispered, his voice thick with something darker, something deeper than Xia Fei could have anticipated.
Xia Fei's breath hitched. He stared at Vein, utterly dumbstruck. "What?"
"I want you," Vein repeated, stepping even closer, his voice gentle but insistent. "I want more than just this," he gestured between them, "this distance, this... coldness." His eyes softened, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Xia Fei saw vulnerability in them. "I don't want to push you, but I can't pretend I don't feel this anymore."
Xia Fei's throat tightened, emotions flooding him all at once. "But... you've always been so distant," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "You never said anything before."
Vein let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't know how to say it," he confessed, the vulnerability in his voice shaking Xia Fei to the core. "I've never been good at this, Xia Fei. But I need you to know that I-"
Before he could finish, Xia Fei reached out, gripping his wrist gently. "I... I don't know what to do with this," Xia Fei admitted, his voice trembling. "I'm not like you. I can't... I can't just give in and pretend everything's okay."
Vein didn't pull away. Instead, he simply watched him, his gaze softening. "You don't have to do anything, Xia Fei. Just let me be here, with you. That's all I'm asking."
The tension between them thickened, heavy and unspoken. Xia Fei didn't know what to say, but something in Vein's eyes made him realize that maybe, just maybe, this-whatever it was-didn't have to be so complicated.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the words hanging between them. "I'm scared," he whispered, more to himself than to Vein.
Vein reached out, cupping his cheek with a tenderness that sent a shock through Xia Fei's body. "I know. But you don't have to be scared. Not with me."
And for the first time, Xia Fei believed him.