TW: SUICIDE
Nick sat in his dimly lit living room, surrounded by memories of his son Adam.
Photos, trophies, and mementos adorned the walls and shelves, each one a painful reminder of the son he had lost.
It had been six months since Adam's tragic suicide, and the grief still felt like a heavy weight pressing down upon Nick's chest.
As he sat in the silence, Nick's thoughts wandered back to the day he had received the devastating news. The police officer's somber expression, the words "suicide" and "depression" echoing through the air. Nick's heart sank as he realized that he had missed the signs, the subtle clues that his son had been struggling in silence.
Adam's note, which he had read a thousand times, still haunted Nick. "It's no one's fault. I've been struggling with depression my whole life." The words were like a knife twisting in Nick's gut. He had been so blinded by his own selfishness, his own struggles, that he had failed to recognize the pain his son was in.
The signs became so clear in hindsight; his baby boy tried to maintain a facade of perfection for his father, throwing himself into sports and academics and whatever he could get his hands on to hide the suffering that he endured inside his mind every day. And Nick failed him.
Just as Nick was lost in his thoughts, a knock at the door broke the silence. He rose from his seat, his heart racing with a mix of anticipation and dread. Who could be visiting him at this hour?
He swore if it was one more "concerned friend or family member" coming to tell him they were "so sorry" for his loss and to "let me know if you need anything" or try to shove their predatory religion down his throatâ he was going to lose it. They all looked like faceless machinations masquerading as humans when they repeated all the same words to him. But no one could possibly understand his grief. There was no word in the dictionary to describe a parent having to identify his son's cold dead body with a bullet in the head of his once smiling face.
He opened the door to find a young man standing on the porch, his eyes downcast and his hair disheveled. The young man introduced himself as Sonny, but, as he stood there fidgeting, pulling on his own oversized sleeves. It was then that Nick recognized Sonny's sweater: it was Adam's.
"And you are my son's...?" Nick questioned him, eyeing his entire petite frame with suspicion. Sonny flinched at the accusation.
"I'm his friend," Sonny said quickly, practiced. Then, a look of guilt washed over Sonny's face as he noticed Nick's knowing eyes size him up. He swallowed and looked down at his sleeves. He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wilcox. I wasn't exactly just a friend. Actually, me and... your son, were..." he confessed. He took another shaky breath. "Im sorry. Adam just didnt want anyone to know that we were... Dating."
Sonny's words tumbled out in a rush immediately following his confession as he apologized for disturbing Nick. Sonny explained that he had come only come to return Adam's class ring and would leave immediately. Nick's heart ached as he listened to Sonny's trembling voice.
"Come in, Sonny. And, call me Nick," Nick invited him inside.
Sonny's eyes welled up with relief as he took in Nick's kind expression. He nodded and stepped inside.
Nick couldn't help but feel a pang of betrayal, confusion as Sonny's words repeated in his head while he prepared tea for them.
Nick had always been open about his bisexuality, even having a boyfriend when Adam was growing up. He didn't think he had ever given Adam the impression that he would be disappointed in his son for being gay. Why would he have kept his relationship a secret? And his heart hurt for the trembling young man in his living room, the fear and grief that ravaged him.
Nick served the tea, and Sonny took it with a grateful mutter. He sipped the tea and held its warmth in his freezing hands. Then, noticing how Nick stared at him so intently, he set the tea down and looked down in shame. He pulled the gold ring from his finger and held it out for Nick.
Sonny's eyes welled up with tears as he handed Nick the class ring. "I shouldn't have this," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I don't deserve to hold something so precious. I'm so sorry it took me so long to bring it to you. I just... I didn't want to upset you. And Adam was always so afraid of you finding out about me; I couldn't bring myself to hurt him by coming here. I tried to mail it but..."
Sonny gently smoothed over the worn ring with his finger. The complete love, affection, and grief Sonny felt for Nick's son spilled out of the corners of his eyes.
Nick's heart went out to the young man, and he gently closed Sonny's fingers around the ring.
"Keep it, Sonny," he said softly. "I can't take this from you. You loved Adam just as much as I did. The ring is yours now."
Sonny's already unstable composure finally broke. He cried and held the ring to his chest as he cracked with uncontrollable sobs.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Nick," Sonny cried. "I can't keep the ring! Iâ I did this ti him! It's all my fault! Adam told me not to tell anyone we were dating. I tried, in tried so hard, but I just wanted to love him! I didn't mean to tell my friend, but he asked me out and I didn't know what to tell him and I told him I was dating Adam and Adam got so angry! He was so scared you would find out! I hurt him... I hurt him... I'm so sorry! I tried to help him, I tried so hard!"
As Sonny broke down in sobs, Nick pulled him into a comforting embrace. Nick told him it would be okay, that Adam loved him, and it wasn't Sonny's fault. He repeated the words from Adam's note that he had suffered from depression his whole life. Sonny shook his head and sobbed into Nick's chest.
"It was my fault! I told Kevin! You didn't see Adam's face when he found out! He was so, so angry, and I know I betrayed him! I promised I tried to help him! He wouldn't let me in the apartment! I didn't have anywhere to go, and I couldn't get to the college to see him for class either! I tried!"
As Nick listened, Sonny spilled his confession in his chest until his ragged and tortured hiccups robbed his speech. They sat together in the silence, Nick rocking Sonny gently as the young man poured out his guilt and grief.
It was only when Sonny fell asleep that Nick finally realized the true meaning behind Adam's note.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Sây. I'm nothing but a monster. Please take the money in our account and get yourself somewhere to live. Please forget about me. Find someone that can tell the whole world they love you with their whole chest."
The smudged name at the end of the note now made sense. It was Sonny's name that Adam had written, and Nick's heart ached with a newfound understanding. He held Sonny close, feeling close to his son as he sheltered his dearest secretâ wrestling with the knowledge that his perfect, martyred son had darkness in his personality that was more difficult to grapple with in the aftermath of his death.
Nick knew Adam must have loved this man, but he also knew that Adam had hurt him. It was a sin that Adam hadn't been able to reconcile before he died. And Nick knew what he had to do.
Over the course of the next six months, Sonny moved in with Nick, bringing with him only a small backpack containing his belongings. The young man had been homeless, struggling to make ends meet, but with Nick's help, he was able to enroll in college again and start a new chapter in his life.
As Sonny settled into his new home, he found himself growing closer to Nick. The older man had become a comfort and support to him that he had never had before, and he cared for him deeply. In return, Sonny took care of the house, cooked meals for Nick, and helped with the household chores. Their bond was strong, but Nick couldn't help but feel a deepening attraction to Sonny.
One night, as they sat together in the living room, the anniversary of Adam's death looming in the shadows a week prior, Nick felt the urge to confess his feelings. He leaned in, his lips brushing against Sonny's, and the young man felt a jolt of electricity run through his body.
The broken pieces Adam left behind entwined.
Sonny's heart raced as he pulled back, his eyes searching Nick's. He felt conflicted, torn between his growing affection for Nick and the guilt that lingered from Adam's suicide. Nick's words were gentle and reassuring, promising to respect Sonny's boundaries and cherishing him for who he was.
Sonny's resolve crumbled as he looked into Nick's eyes, and he leaned in, his lips meeting Nick's once more. Their kiss was passionate, their tongues entwining as they explored each other's mouths. Nick's hands roamed over Sonny's body, his fingers tracing the contours of the young man's soft and slender form.
As they undressed each other, the air was thick with desire. Sonny's cock stood at attention, throbbing with need, as Nick's hand wrapped around it. Nick's own cock twitched in response, his balls tightening with anticipation.
Their bodies moved in harmony, their movements synchronized as they pumped their cocks together. Sonny's eyes locked onto Nick's, their gazes burning with passion. Nick's cock pulsed with pleasure.
Nick gently guided Sonny onto the couch, positioning him onto his back. Sonny's eyes locked onto Nick's, their gazes burning with passion. Nick's cock pressed against Sonny's entrance, and he slowly pushed his way inside.
Sonny's body tensed as Nick's cock slid into him, the sensation both pleasurable and overwhelming. Nick's thrusts were slow and deliberate, his cock pumping in and out of Sonny's tight ass. Sonny's eyes rolled back as he felt himself being filled, his cock hardening in response.
As Nick's pace quickened, Sonny's moans grew louder, his body arching beneath him. Nick's cock thrust deeper, his balls slapping against Sonny's ass as he pumped his load into him. Sonny's body convulsed around him, his cock spewing forth a hot, sticky stream of cum.
As they lay entwined, their bodies still pulsing with passion, Sonny's heart was filled with a sense of belonging. Nick's words rang true â he was the only one who understood him, and he would care for him forever.
"I love you, too, Nicky," Sonny muttered as he drifted to sleep in Nick's arms.
Months passed, and their relationship blossomed. They shared their deepest secrets, their fears, and their dreams. As they navigated the complexities of their feelings, they found solace in each other's arms.
One day, as they sat together on the couch, Nick reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Sonny's eyes widened as he realized what was happening.
"Sonny, will you marry me?" Nick asked, his voice trembling with emotion.
Tears streaming down his face, Sonny nodded, his heart overflowing with love and gratitude. "Yes, Nick," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I'll marry you."
As they embraced, their future together seemed bright and full of promise. They had faced the darkest of days, but through their love and support, they had found a new beginning. Sonny and Nick were engaged, ready to start a new chapter in their lives â together.