Oh, I see.
I was jealous of that child even though I was not a little baby who never got a motherâs love. I finally saw what had been ambiguously appealed to me since Silviaâs gave birth to the twins.
Motherâ¦
Of course, I was not complaining about my situation right now. However, I finally realized what I had been missing from Serira after seeing those two. I did think Serira tried her best to be a mother figure to me, but I already knew what it felt like to be loved by my own mother because of my former life⦠I wanted to see my mother, although sheâs not here.
It was not like I had never experienced a motherâs love before⦠Perhaps, I was selfish.
âPrincess.â
Assisi called me. I calmly organized the ripples of my mind and turned my head.
âLetâs go see Dad.â
Assisi couldnât even ask me back out of the blue. I wanted to smooth out the middle of his forehead with my index finger, but I couldnât because I was short. Damn it, a chicken instead of pheasants, I held Assisiâs legs and smiled.
âI feel like I havenât seen daddy in a while.â
Since dad and I were close, we ran into each other from time to time besides eating and sleeping, but these days, I didnât feel comfortable enough to ambulate, so I intentionally avoided him. Something was bothering me, indeed.
Assisi was amazed because he knew me so well.
âAre you all right?â
What was he asking? My feelings? What was in my mind? I couldnât tell anymore.
However, the important thing wasâ¦
I would only become more desperate if I continued to desire something I couldnât possibly have. Whether or not I missed my mother, there were plenty of people who loved me as much as any mother would. People who cared about me for who I was. People who loved me. So then, I shouldnât ask for more.
âAssisi, youâll make an excellent father someday.â
Assisi nodded upon hearing my words.
âDo you think so?â
âYes, I do.â
I was being sincere, but Assisiâs expression has subtly changed. Then he held me in his arms and smiled. It was a smile that looked empty somewhere.
âWhat a pity.â
âWhy?â
âThereâs no chance Iâll ever be a father.â
Huh? Why not? I stared at him as if asking him what that meant, and Assisi smiled again.
âShall we go inside now?â