A/N: Hey so for all you guys who have already read/currently reading I'll be editing and rewriting some parts to make the story more sensible and flow smoothly. Anyways, have a good fücking day my dudes.
"I Ryker Seghar, future Alpha of the Seghar pack, reject you, Diana Sandalio as my mate."
My heart had shattered hearing those words, taking my rose colored glasses and crushing them along with it.
[Flashback]
"Eighteen." The words were muttered underneath my breath as I looked at the mirror studying my appearance in hopes for any change on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was still just me, the oddball. I stood at an intimidating five foot two inches, with a terrifying button nose accompanied by a dusting of freckles - just in case anyone was confused, that phrase was marinated with sarcasm - my skin was pale which only made the freckles stand out further. I didn't hate them, in fact they were one of the only normal things about myself. Where as most girls were born with brown, blonde or maybe even copper locks of hair I was gifted with silver; ironically enough a very damaging element to my biological makeup; being a lycanthrope and all. Matching my hair was my eye color; many compared my irises to that of mercury when in its liquid state. Apparently my eyes had a habit of shifting in certain lights; not that I really noticed.
Today was the first day back after winter break, it was time for the last half of my final year in high school and I couldn't be more excited. Adjusting the black hoody I had on, I slip into light grey leggings and my signature dark army green vans, it was the only thing that proved I wasn't taken out of a black and white movie... okay that might be an exaggeration, I guess when I'm out of breath my cheeks and collarbone/chest area do emit a red glow. Look I never claimed to be healthy and fit, I know damn well I'm out of shape. I carried a few extra pounds, creating stretch marks along my hips and upper thighs, my breasts weren't excluded from the extra weight and accompanying marks. My stomach pooched out a bit causing me to lean into high waisted items of clothing and long loose fitting shirts. I was more comfortable that way anyways.
Looking back in the mirror I take in my round cheeks, wide eyes, and soft chin mentally scolding myself for not starting a habit of working out sooner. Shaking the thoughts out of my head I pull my hair up and into a lazy bun before grabbing my book back and leaving the room. I pass by the houses communal bathroom, the door wide open showing two of the other girls in the house brushing their teeth while another three desperately try to fix their appearances in the mirror. I frowned wondering what had all my fellow orphans suddenly caring about their looks when they were all clearly hung over from the winder bonfire that was thrown last night. I shake my head slightly amused before leaving the girl's hallway and into the coed common living spaces. A few of the guys were eating bowls of cereal while Clair, one of my few friends, sat munching on some toast.
Seeing me the red headed female jumped up and wished me a happy birthday, bringing over a plate with misshaped pancakes that vaguely took form as... "Hearts?" I question looking up from the plate too see her eager green eyes. Her smile widened as she nodded. "Well thank you." I laughed as she began to sing which grabbed the attention of the girls that walked in as well as the boys who were in the room. Together they sang causing me to blush and roll my eyes. However at the end I did send everyone small words of thanks as the morning crowd continued on their way. Clair and I walked back to where she had been sitting at the counter with two stools; one for herself and the other seemed to be calling my own buttock.
"So... any new scents?" Clair wiggles her brows, sliding over the peanut butter and syrup in my direction. With an impish smile I take the offered butter knife and begin to unscrew the cap of the delicious peanut butter. "Can you believe you can find your mate?" She whisper squealed as I placed a thin layer of peanut butter along the top of the pancakes before following up with a few lines of syrup. Trust me... this shit hits different.
"Clair I doubt he's in this pack." Usually mates who live in the same pack form a connection from a young age, until the day of the female's eighteenth birthday when it is confirmed that they are truly mates. My words caused her lips to form an annoyed pout as I proceeded to eat the breakfast that was provided for me. Placing my fork down I reached over the counter to one of the many water bottles sitting out. The kitchen needed to be cleaned badly; despite that I twisted the top off and began to drink the liquid, all the while Clair talked my ear off. Vaguely I recognize her mentioning the alpha was coming home; meaning he'd completed his training. When he'd turned 16 and shifted for the first time, as all males do, his father sent him off to the camp for alphas to train in. "He's how old now? 23?"
My thoughts out loud attracted many shewolves to the conversation as they all talked about the crushes they used to have on him. It had me rolling my eyes amused with the topic before getting up and cleaning my mess. With easy movements Clair and I finally made it out after a quick brushing of our teeth. As we exited the house we see the second half of the orphanage filled with children up until they move to high school, that's when they move over to the house Clair and I were at. Our parents, as most of the orphans our age, died in a battle for territory. A group of rouges were trying to claim themselves a pack and challenged our own for a slice of our territory. They had attacked in the night, the day prior to the supposed challenge where our alpha would fight their "alpha"; winner took all.
I guess they feared losing and in the process thought they had a better chance if they attacked. So many of our people were killed before the pack was aware what was actually happening. Clearing my throat I shake the thoughts of that night away and instead focus on Clair as she talked my ear off while we walked towards the school.
Minutes tick by until the view of the school campus comes into view. Since the school was exclusive to only pack me beers everyone was still pretty tight knit to their groups of friends. My eyes scan over the crowd of students, the wind shifting to blow in my direction. I smelt something... something different. Tilting my head I slowed my pace, Clair not noticing kept on walking.
My silver eyes quickly scan the crowds until landing in a particular group. The high ranking children of the pack stood in a semi circle, in the middle a man with his back to me stood with his hands tucked into his jean pockets. Blinking a few times I realized I had stopped walking and now Clair was yelling at me which caused attention to be brought my way. The male turned, looking over his shoulder and there before me stood a mature looking Ryker. Sucking in a deep breath I took in his handsome features; hazel eyes framed by dark lashes, his jawline sharp with a five o'clock shadow. His dirty blonde hair fell in waves slicked back from his handsome face.
He seemed to return the studious gaze, turning to fully face me, his back now to the students he'd been talking to. Again the wind shifted causing a few strands of my hair to fall from the bun and frame my face. Still, I stood not moving as his nostrils flared, eyes narrowing in on me as Clair grabbed the crook of my arm to tug me to the school confusion all over her face. The growl that left that man's throat had my body tremble. Clair seemingly caught on as she realized my gaze hadn't left Ryker's, not to mention the man was marching towards me faster than I could blink.
Mind spinning, all I could think was that Ryker mother fucking Seghar was my mate? Well, shit. Clair scurried away as he now stood toe to toe with myself. Tilting my head up I stared at the man before me, studying his emotions while trying to keep my own in check. I wasn't feeling overwhelming joy, I was actually almost disappointed by the lack of... anything. Al the dreams of finding my mate made this dull.
"Hi." The word felt awkward leaving my mouth. My gaze finally picked up in his emotions which ranged from shock, to happiness then that quickly slid to confusion and finally rage. That last bit had my own brows furrowing in confusion. Why the hell was he mad?
"What is your name?" He gruffest our, teeth grinding down on each other. His voice had me shifted as half of me yearned to fall into his arms and another half felt like it was wrong that this whole situation wasn't what it was supposed to be. Swallowing the lump in my throat I replied with what I hoped was a steady voice.
"Diana Sandalio." I wasn't surprised he didn't know my name, he'll he'd been gone for quite a few years and back then I still had my parents. The thoughts of my parents whooshed out of my body as did the air in my lungs when I suddenly hear his words.
"I Ryker Seghar, future Alpha of Seghar pack, reject you, Diana Sandalio as my mate." His words physically had me take two steps back, eyes widening with the sting of tears. Sure it wasn't like fireworks the first time I saw him but he was destined to be mine; I was supposed to be his. But he didn't want me. To my complete horror I stand their gaping for a few seconds before trying to gather my wits and reply. I ignore the urge to beg and plead, to ask why he didn't want me, wbu I wasn't enough, and instead straightening my shoulders and raise my chin up defiantly.
"I Diana Sandalio, pack member of Seghar pack, reject you Ryker Seghar as my mate..." But before my brain can think about the consequences of my next words, my mouth just shoots them out. "And as my future Alpha."
//\\//\\//\\
Clair had heard the whole thing and ushered me away once the words were said. For a moment I thought I saw him look regretful but two hours later I felt pain in my abdomen, bad enough that I was only seconds away from missing the trash can with vomit. I knew what he was doing, but what I didn't understand was why I could still feel it?? I rejected him back, that was my acceptance. I shouldn't have to feel him with other women.
The teacher in the class heard me call for Clair and so she sent a male student to go grab Clair for me. While I wretched, the teacher rubbed my back and pulled my hair back. Tears fell down my face, the taste of bile only making me dry heave some more. I vaguely hear Clair enter the room and feel the heat of Mrs. Clavoi leave; the two discuss a few things where Clair explained what had happened. Mrs. Clavoi directed her to take me to the pack doctor, which I had no say in as I was having a screaming match with the trash.
I know I'd later be mortified that this all happened in front of everyone but I wasn't in the right mind to really think that far ahead. I shakily stood with the help of Clair and walked towards the door, my arms cradling the trash can to my chest warily in case I needed to vomit once more. I remember getting into a car and Clair giving directions, before I laid down my head in her lap and sobbed. Once I was inside a room, I was examined and they simply confirmed my suspicion.
"It seems your mate is damaging the bond." The doctor explained in a PG version, her eyes sad for me. I wiped at my sweaty forehead, anger filling my chest.
"I don't understand. Why do I still feel it when I accepted the rejection and rejected him back?" I hiccuped through my whine like complaint. The doctor tapped her pen along her clipboard before speaking carefully.
"I don't want to plant any seeds in your brain but, perhaps he hasn't accepted your rejection." Her words were like cold water being dumped on me. I was numb; how dare he? Clenching my jaw a feel another wave of nausea hit me. Clair rushes over with the trash can where I empty stomach bile and tears.
"Will she always feel this way?" Clair whispered heart broken for me, as she rubbed my back.
"The closer she is yes, but the farther you are from him and the more he sleeps with other women, the faster the bond will be poisoned until one day the only thing telling you it's happening will be a slight head ache." The doctor explained, her eyes not leaving my convulsing body. It was unbearable, like having your own body burn itself. "It's your body's way of trying to rid itself of the bond the hard way since he or possibly you, hasn't fully accepted the rejection."
Her words fell on deaf ears as all I needed to know was that I could dull the pain. That meant getting as far away from here as possible.
"Diana!" Clair snapped, catching my attention as I look up to her and the concerned doctor.
"You will be shifting tonight," Her words scared me as once a female met her mate it woke up the wolf inside triggering their first change that night. The shift is almost physically unbearable for most shewolves bodies, where as the men shift at 16 for the first time and learn to control the wolf and shift so that when they meet their mate, he can help her through the process. If a female is rejected usually their father would step up to the plate and guide the female. Obviously it seems I'm a little screwed. "Do you have a male willing to aid you tonight?"
Both pairs of eyes land on me expectantly, waiting for my answer. Blinking back tears I nod not having the heart to lie. Clair looked doubtful but kept her mouth shut while the doctor looked relieved.
"Good. With that being said I'll prescribe some pain killers and anti nausea for the other pain." Writing down a few notes the doctor excused herself after explaining where to grab the medication. Clair and I left in silence towards the counter up front across from check in where the pharmacist stands waiting with a bag. I gingerly grabbed it and followed Clair outside to the running car. Inside sat Noel, one of our classmates she looked at me concerned but said nothing as the three of us drove back in silence.
//\\//\\//\\
Hours went by as I sat on my made bed, a bag containing every ounce of clothing I could fit inside. I knew what I had to do, I knew that I'd made my decision the minute I rejected Ryker as both my mate and my alpha. Since his father was still the alpha my bonds to the pack hadn't broken, and they wouldn't break if I left the territory. I'd have to physically break every individual bond no matter how weak or strong it was. Swallowing the lump in my throat I stood and walked out of my room, the contents looked empty after I took down any memory of myself save for a photo of myself and Clair, with a note attached to it telling her that I was leaving.
The house was empty, Clair and Noel had gone back to school promising to bring back treats and movies for a girls night, and Noel spoke of bringing her mate to help me once Clair found out I'd lied in the doctor's office. But truly, I didn't want any help. If I was destined to die so be it.
Making my way down the streets I slowly left the populated area and reached the wooded cemetery. Finding my parent's graves I lowered myself onto my knees and cried; cried for all that I'd lost and for all that I never even had the chance to lose.
As day turned to night, my tears dried up and I laid in the soft grass between my family, staring up at the stars, it wouldn't be bad to just stop existing. I was tired of trying so hard, tired of being hurt, and so tonight, I accepted the idea of my death.
[End Flashback]
//\\//\\//\\
Wattpad has sucked me into the werewolf craze ð Anyways, Diana's hair up top.
A/N: keep in mind guys, just because it's "edited", doesn't mean it's perfect. Enjoy ðð»