Wednesday sat in the long grass where yellow weeds had begun to grow. She could remember the day that the grass had last been cut- she knew it to the day. It had been exactly six months. One hundred and eighty-two long days. The last time she was here, she was with her classmates and her teachers. Enid had held Wednesday tight while soil filled the freshly open chasm in the earth.
So often, Y/N kept Wednesday waiting. He was always late. Late to dates, late to classes. Of course, Wednesday found it annoying but she loved Y/N to look past it, even when he didn't have a good excuse.
Even now- sat at his spired gravestone, in the long grass, Y/N kept Wednesday waiting. Part of her still didn't mind. With chipped nails plucking at grass and heavy eyes struggling to see through the glare of the harsh sun, Wednesday waited. She knew he would come sooner or later- he always did.
"You finally came." A chirpy voice finally spoke up after hours of silence. Wednesday looked up to find Y/N sat on the ledge of his gravestone- beaming a smile as he looked down at the frail figure. "Sorry I'm late." He excused.
Wednesday nodded her head slowly. "It's okay." She responded plainly as she pulled her hands out from the knots of grass and weeds- her fingertips now stained green. "Though, I really wish you would stop leaving me- it hurts when you go."
Y/N's smile faded some. "I can't stay around forever you know- what if someone other than Enid caught you talking to me?" He questioned. "What a freak they'd think you are." He answered himself.
"I don't care what anyone else thinks." She insisted. "You are all I need- I don't need anything else." She added before sighing softly, letting her posture falter as her jaw rested on her hand. "You're my reason for living, mi amor."
Again, his smile diminished- as if taken away by the passing wind. "That's a little ironic, isn't it?" He spoke as a chuckle escaped his lungs, though he hardly looked happy. "A dead boy is your reason for living? I dunno Wends', maybe you are just a freak." He told her, his own voice mimicking her cold one- to which Wednesday winced. "This is all in your head after all." He added. The colour in his eyes flickered as he stepped down from the ledge- the moss beneath him left untouched. He sat down in front of his lover- but his body cast no shadow under the sun.
Wednesday's lip trembled but she bit down- and hard as she watched Y/N sit before her. She closed her eyes and took a moment to recompose herself with a number of deep breaths. In and out. She let her dark eyes open. "So what if this is still in my head, Y/N?" She asked. "If it's the only way I can see you- the only way I can be happy, if only for a moment- then what does it matter?"
"It matters because it's making you ill, Nes. I don't want you to be ill." He replied- his voice growing to be affectionate as he rested his hand on her thigh, patting it reassuringly as if to convince her to see his view. He took his hand away. "And besides, you can see me whenever you want, I'm still a good listener" he added, patting his cold gravestone, smiling once more. "And you could cut this grass once in a while too- you'd swear there wasn't a grave her at all." He commented as he looked around them. Just a few feet away his eyes settled on a tall, strong willow tree- actually, it was a place the two first met around five years back while on summer break. It was why he was buried here.
Wednesday wore a guilty look on her face. He was right. She hadn't even brought flowers with her to lay at his resting place- how egocentral of her. Not even Y/N's family visited- neither were they at his funeral. In fact, Wednesday wasn't sure she recalled Y/N ever talking about his family.
She was broke off from her train of thought by Y/N's voice. "Remember when we always used to sit under this tree during the summer break, Nes'?" He questioned as he stood up. "When we would spend hours reading our books together." A grin spread wide across his angular features as he laughed. "I remember when we first met and I was sat under that tree and you said- 'What are you doing here- this is my secret spot!'." He mocked, trying his best to sound like her. "I had to bribe you to let me stuck around."
Wednesday grinned too, remembering that day. "I told you to find me a four leafed clover in this field and then maybe I'd let you stay." She reminisced, also getting up to her feet. Without even knowing it, she began stepping towards it.
"And I did." He added, nudging her as he followed by her side. "Though it did take me five hours."
Wednesday approached the wall of low hanging branches and their endless supply of pale green leaves. She pushed her way through them until she breeched the canopy. She always admired willow trees- it's what brought her to this one in the first place. She thought they were nature's perfect shelter. The space around the trunk was largely open as the branches cascaded around the area like a blanket.
She walked deeper towards the trunk when she kicked something. Looking down, she spotted a dirt coated book. After crouching down to pick it up, she used her sleeve to brush the dirt off the hardcover, with Y/N lingering over her shoulder.
"It's... It's a notebook... Or a diary?." She muttered quietly, trailing a finger down the leather cover. "I don't remember owning one like this." Wednesday added, turning to look at Y/N, who remained dead silent. It seemed neither of them had an answer to that.
Y/N cleared his throat. "Maybe... Maybe someone left this here for you to find." He suggested. He sat down with his back against the trunk of the tree like they used to. "Come here, let's read it together."
Uneasy, Wednesday paused before nodding her head and taking her spot beside her lover. She wondered if she had left one of her notebooks here- she had so many, maybe it was impossible to remember all of them. With her thumb, she lifted up the front cover to find the first page blank. She turned the page again. Still empty. "There's nothing in here..." She whispered.
"Keep going." He encouraged beside her, leaning against her shoulder as he peered down at the browning pages.
With a small sigh, she did carry on. She flicked through page after page until around halfway, she spotted a page filled with black ink. Pulling her knees up, she held the book closer. "Dear Wednesday..." She read, her voice wavering before she stopped herself. She shook her head. "I- I don't think I want to read this." She abruptly stated.
Y/N nodded, his face understanding and warm as he kissed her forehead. "I'll read it for you." He told her. "Close your eyes, love." He whispered to her. She did as she was asked and she let her eyes close. Her heart beat off her rips despite the fact it felt like it was in her throat.
"Dear Wednesday,
I'm glad you found this- at least I hope it's you reading this- I assume it's you, who else would come to our little hide out-"
"Stop." Wednesday muttered after she had sucked in a sharp breath.
Ignoring her request, he carried on. "I know this will probably be difficult to read but that's okay, it just means I was a good boyfriend, right-? If it's hard it means you miss me. I would like to imagine you will miss me when I'm gone- I know I'd miss you if you died. Actually, I'm not sure what I'd do if you were to go."
"Please stop." Wednesday repeated, opening her eyes to the brimming of tears. The knot in her throat grew tighter.
"That's why I have written this for you- so maybe you can have a bit of closure... Or something like that, I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to do this.
I guess, first of all... Don't blame yourself for what will happen. There's nothing you could have done- really, I mean that. Just be happy that you made me happy for so long. Thanks for that by the way, making me happy I mean."
"Y/N, stop- I can't do this."
"Secondly, I'm sorry for not telling you that I was ill- that was a pretty dick move, huh? I don't really have an excuse other than... Maybe I was scared to hurt you. Or maybe I'm just a coward. Either way, I'm sorry.
Thirdly, I need you to understand something. You are wonderful. Actually- scratch that- you're beyond wonderful. You're spectacular, brilliant, breathtakingly wonderful and so- so stupidly beautiful. I mean, come on- it's not fair for one person to be so smart and caring and kind, is it?"
"Y/N, please." Wednesday's voice was near inaudible through the thick sadness blocking her lips.
Still, Y/N continued. "Fourth of all, I want you to keep going. Move on and all that stuff. Of course, don't forget about me but still, meet new people, go on dates with someone who will actually show up on time- fall in love and have children. You need to keep going. I will be merely a moment in time in your life- but I have filled libraries of special moments and thoughts of you- and I'm glad for that. I know stuff like this is hard for anyone- I've seen what it can do to people. My mother told me once after my father passed, 'Some memories are best left dusted under rosy haze.' Sorta wise, huh? She never listened to her own advice but I want you to, you got that, Nes?
Lastly, I debated for a long time about whether I should write you a poem. I was scared that I wouldn't do us justice... But fuck it, it's not like I have the time to think long and hard about this so, here goes;"
"Don't-" Wednesday whimpered, trying to grip onto Y/N's arm- but it was no use, was it?
"Soon I will lay,
And spend my time thinking about you and all the things we never got the chance to do every day.
I wonder where I will be, whether I will be on a shore by the sea,
Or perhaps I will lie forever beneath this tree.
I don't think it matters where I will go,
So long as I have your heart in tow.
I will whisper in the evening winds,
The melody that sways the trees.
In every ray of sunlight, I'll reside,
In every droplet of rain, I'll confide.
Do not mourn the passing of this heart,
For love's enduring, never to depart.
Even in fate's cruel hand,
You made me the happiest a man could be.
For that Wednesday I have to thank you,
And hope that you find love anew."
Now in a state of laboured breath, Wednesday fell victim to her tears and wails.
"I was never good at poetry like you but I hope you liked it.
This will be goodbye, Wednesday- and I hope it's for a long, long time, for your sake.
I love you- not even death can prevent that, so you best remember okay? Good.
P.s, look in the hollow of the tree."
"Why...?" Wednesday whimpered.
"I think you should look in the tree, Wednesday." Y/N insisted, using his arms to gently push her off of him.
Wednesday gripped onto the trunk of the tree as she pulled herself to her feet. She plunged her hand into the hollow of the tree without a second thought- following willingly through the webs and bugs. She routed around and pulled out what felt like a plastic wrapper. Weakly wiping away at her tears she spotted what was inside the clear plastic.
A four leafed clover lay perfectly preserved and across the plastic in black to read the words. "To bring you luck."
Letting out a gutteral cry, she moved to grip onto Y/N but he was no longer there- she fell to her knees. She held the clover close to her chest and she just rocked back and forth. It was all she could think to do. And she did it until long after the sun went down. She never thought it was possible for her heart to ache in such a way. It felt so free and yet, it was so heavy. Maybe this was what it was to grieve.
After a long, long time. She pressed her lips to the plastic covering the closer and gripped the diary beneath her arm as she stumbled to her feet and through the dense canopy of branches until she fell to the headstone if his grave. She wrapped her arms around the cold, mossy stone.
"Goodbye, mi amor." She whispered. "I'll make you happy again..."