Chapter 24: Hidden In Brutal Devotion: Chapter 21

Tia I stare at the open door to our bedroom. Cole is snoozing beside me, but I can’t sleep, even after him fucking me twice and me coming so many times. I even struggled to remember my own name. My mind wanders to Lucas and why he didn’t join us. Why he didn’t stand in the shadows.

He went to his room to shower, and we haven’t seen him since.

I sigh, my body deflating with the thought of him being alone and feeling unwelcome.

“Go to him, beauty,” Cole mumbles from beside me, as if sensing my inner turmoil.

I glance back at him, a soft smile playing on his lips, but his eyes are closed, making me wonder if he’s dreaming.

“Go,” he mumbles again.

I throw the sheet off me and make my way toward his room.

Stepping inside his bedroom, I’m surprised to find Lucas awake in bed and staring straight at me, making me startle. Without saying a word, he throws open the covers for me to climb in, so I waste no time in joining him.

“I miss her, Lucas.”

He pulls me toward him. “Tia, I’m going to get her back for you. I promise.”

The truth seeps from his eyes, and hope blossoms inside me. I’ve never felt as confident as I do now in the fight toward getting my little girl back where she belongs.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I admit softly while resting my head on his chest.

“Me too.” His fingers find my hair, soothing me. “I had a nightmare.”

“I’m sorry.”

He scoffs. “It’s not your fault.” His heart races. “I didn’t have one the night you stayed in here.” His words shouldn’t comfort me, because it’s fucked up that he has to deal with that, but they do. He needs me as much as I need him.

“You could join us.” I glance up at him.

“I can’t have sex, Tia. I’m fucking broken.” He snipes the words out, then winces, as though realizing his tone.

“Have you . . . have you never done it before?” I cringe at my wording. My body fills with trepidation, waiting for his response.

“Not willingly. No.”

A sharp pain hits me in the chest, and my blood boils around his body. I knew he had demons, knew he had trauma, but there was a part of me that hoped‍—‍prayed‍—‍it wasn’t this.

“You understand.” He repeats the same words as I once told him. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that he knows my history. My body tightens at the thought.

Did Cole tell him?

“I think sometimes we can see it in one another, you know? Like there’s a light there in your eyes, and I can see the pain. Because the same pain is the one I see reflecting back at me in the mirror every morning.”

My muscles loosen. Maybe Cole didn’t tell.

“You can’t let them win, Lucas. You’ve so much to give.” My hand plays lightly over his chest, his warmth traveling from the tips of my fingers into my heart.

“I’m not sure how.” He swallows.

“By being yourself. You like orchestrating things between me and Cole.” He nods against me, so I carry on. “You could do those things too. I want you to. We want you to.”

“I’m not gay.” He spits the words out unexpectedly, making me raise my head from his chest to stare at him.

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m just saying that I’m not.”

“Did someone call you that?” I search his face for a sign. Of what, I’m not sure.

“My . . . my father was the one who did things to me.”

I close my eyes in understanding. His father abused him.

“We had sex.”

I open my eyes to find him staring at me, waiting for a reaction.

“You were raped, Lucas. That’s not sex. There’s a difference.”

“I know that,” he snaps once again. Then, he drags his hand aggressively through his hair in annoyance with himself. He exhales loudly. “It’s just . . . sometimes, I think about it.”

I turn my head up toward him. “In what way?”

“In ways that make me feel sick about myself for even thinking it.”

“You can talk to me, Lucas.” I glide my hand down the side of his face in a comforting gesture.

His Adam’s apple bobs. “Some of the things I was forced to do . . .” He squeezes his eyes shut. “. . . I want to try them now.”

His heart hammers below me and his body is stiff, indicating how much he’s struggling with the situation.

I keep my tone low and soothing. “Whatever you were forced to do when you were a child, Lucas, was out of your hands. You. Were. Forced. You shouldn’t feel shame in wanting to experiment or experience things, Lucas. You’re an adult, and you’re in control now.”

“I need to be in control.” His voice darkens and is laced with an undertone of certainty, leaving no room for negotiation. Whatever situation we’re going to be in, Lucas will always need to be in control. There is no other option.

His arm tightens around me, both lovingly and protectively. I snuggle down into him. “Besides, I like when you control situations.” I smile into his chest, and he rewards me with a gentle kiss to my head.

I stare at Cole in disbelief as he throws punch after punch to his opponent’s stomach, following it up with a swift kick to his chest. The strength behind his assault soaks my panties and causes my thighs to clench in anticipation for his match to finish.

Sweat pours from him, and his muscles pull tight with each action. The crowd goes wild, but all I can really hear is the beating of my heart willing this match to end.

As the referee rings the bell to announce the end of the round, I leap to my feet and rush toward him.

Cole smirks in my direction, as though knowing I wouldn’t miss out on being there for him. He ignores the trainer who talks in his ear and instead pushes his head through the ropes and takes me by my neck, pulling me in for a kiss that consumes me. I moan into his mouth, and he responds by flicking his tongue over mine, knowing the ball of his piercing drives me wild.

He pulls back, panting. “Fuck, beauty. I’m going to have to fight with a semi.”

I glance down toward his shorts, and sure enough, his cock is standing at half-mast. I swear, I can see his piercing rubbing against his shorts, trying to get out of his tight constraints, and I want nothing more than to drop to my knees and help relieve him.

His trainer tugs him away, and he mouths a toward me, making me smile in delight. As much as I’ve enjoyed watching Cole, I cannot wait for this fight to end so that I can reward him.

“Come and sit down. You look like you’re about to drop to your knees in front of everyone.” Lucas smirks into my ear, and I do as he asks, planting my ass firmly on the chair in front of the ring.

Cole takes a punch to his face, and I wince, but he barely flinches. Lucas’s hand finds my thigh, and he gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s okay, baby girl.” His fingers tease the hem of my dress. “Daddy’s here.”

I suck in a sharp breath at his words, but I jolt when Cole takes another blow to his stomach. His eyes dart toward Lucas’s hand, and I realize he’s being distracted, so I push Lucas’s hand away abruptly, causing him to chuckle. Instead, he opts to stretch his arm over the back of my chair and rests his hand on my shoulder.

Cole’s opponent has noticed his distraction, and I watch as he mouths something to Cole. Whatever reaction the idiot thought he was going to get isn’t the one he receives, because Cole unleashes hell on him. Slamming his fists repeatedly into the jerk’s side, he makes a quick move to jump into the air, following it up with a fancy kick that makes my eyes bug out and the guy slam to the floor when Cole’s foot connects with his face.

The referee rings the bell and grips a hold of Cole’s wrist, raising it into the air.

“He won?” I question Lucas.

“He did,” he drawls lazily as though unfazed.

“Yes!” I jump to my feet, jumping up and down in delight, and when Cole’s eyes lock with mine, a heat breaks out over my skin, and I know his assault on my body is going to be so much more rewarding.