Kristal Anderson
I feel like I'm disappointing my mother.
That was a thought that entered my mind and won't seem to be leaving anytime soon. My mother's face of disappointed flashed before my eyes, I pictured her looking down at me from wherever she is and being. . . disappointed. Disappointed with the way I was acting, with my decisions.
Finding my mother's lifeless body on our living room floor was the most painful thing I've had to experience, the body of the woman who used to greet me with a bright smile when I got home from school, unmoving. That image was engraved in my mind. Even now nearly 16 years later my brain was still able to produce a vivid replica of those events.
It managed to be just as painful as the first time.
A small part of my soul dies everytime my brain decides to torture me and force me to relive that day.
I know my mother left with a beautiful image of me; a beautiful nine year old girl who was oblivious to her parents marridal issues, with big dreams and bright smile that could light up every room.
My chest constricted at the thought of my mother looking down at me, disappointed with the path I was headed in, with the way I was repaying the woman who saved me from the foster care system.
That was enough to make me second guess everything I had done and everything that I was going to do. My friendship with Aiden. All of it.
I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't stand the thought of me distorting the image she had of me before she passed.
I couldn't disappoint her.
I couldn'tâ
Ding
My phone made me stop in my tracks and pulled me out of the rabbit hole I had fallen into.
I furrowed my eyebrows realizing was I standing in the middle of my bedroom. Another realization hit me that I'd been pacing around the length of my bedroom that entire time but I could've sworn I was just in bed a millisecond ago.
I picked my phone up my nightstand. When I saw who the text was from, it was almost as if my phone turned into lava right before my eyes making me drop it back on my nightstand and took a step back.
Speak of the devil.
I forced myself to ignore the butterflies that brewed at the pit of my stomach at the mere sight of his name.
I couldn't disappoint her.
I needed to stop entertaining this. . . whatever this was between us.
I took another step back and turned away from my nightstand, my eyes searched my room for something, anything to distract myself with. My eyes landed on my desk; crumbled up papers, a few color pencils, my sketch book, and my cereal bowl from this morning littered the place.
So I made my way over to it and began. I made sure to move at a snail's pace, there wasn't much to clean to begin with and I needed to keep my hands busy.
Ding
Another text came through making my eyes snap in the direction of my phone.
What if it's an emergency? I found myself wondering.
Maybe I could take a little peek andâ no I can't. Focus Kris.
Forcing my gaze back on my desk and resumed my movements throwing the discarded drawings in my bin.I shut my sketch book and slid it to it's assigned corner on my desk.
I needed to nip this. . . thing in the butt while it was still in the early stages. Keeping Aiden in my life means more lies, more sneaking behind Aunt Jenna's back, things that would never align with the way I was raised.
Ding
Another one came through.
My legs didn't seem to have gotten the memo because I was right in front of my nightstand again.
What the fuck was going on with me? The way I was drawn to him wasn't normal, I was drawn to him like a moth is to a flame. The last thirty minutes should have been enough to convince me to stay away from him forever, yet here I was.
With my phone in my hand I opened his messages, curiosity getting the best of me.
Aiden: Let's play a game
Aiden: I'll send you a set of photos
Aiden: you just have to pick between a b and c
I knew I was in too deep to ignore his texts when a smile spread it's way across my lips.
Me: Is there a right or wrong answer?
Aiden: No
Me: So how do you win?
Aiden: You don't
Me: Then what's the point of playing?
Aiden: You'll see
Me: Wow you're doing an awful job trying to convince me to play your weird game
Aiden: Weird game? This is a perfectly normal thing for people our ages to be doing on a Wednesday afternoon.
A giggle escaped me as I settled back down on my bed.
Me: Oh my gosh it is?!?
Aiden: Totally. It's the hottest new trend
Me: Alright fine you've convinced me. Go ahead, amuse me
The first set of photos came through soon after I sent the text. A collage of three color squares; one black, one gold and maroon.
Me: C
The next set of came but this time they were all white, the only distinguishing factor was the words on them.
Short, medium, long.
My dirty mind went to places I was too ashamed to admit. Sue me.
Me: C. Long, I like it long
Instead of being met by the next set of photos, a text popped up.
Aiden: Good to know darlin.
My cheeks burned with embarrassment at the text but I didn't allow my dirty mind to ponder on it for too long. Control yourself Kris.
The next collage came through and if I wasn't confused before now I surely was. A V was on the first white square, a heart was the second one, and a line on the last one.
Me: Aiden, where is this going?
Aiden: The options are a b and c no idea where you got 'aiden, where is this going?' from
Me: You're annoying.
Me: A
The next set came, words filled the white squares again.
Hard, soft, smooth.
I furrowed my eyebrows and just as my thumbs began to type, he texted me.
Aiden: just answer the question darlin, don't question it
He texted practically reading my mind because I was seriously starting to question the validity of this game.
Me: C...?
Aiden: Okay last question
Short, medium, tall.
Me: ...B
Aiden: I'll be home in a few hours. Will you be at your window?
Me: Always
⢠° ⢠° ⢠° ⢠° ⢠° ⢠° â¢
Curiosity was eating me from the inside out, the hours seemed to last last an eternity. I tried to keep myself busy by reading, it took me a while to get into it but I managed to finish a chapter which was an accomplishment with my mind racing a thousand miles per hour.
The excitement that blossomed inside me when I saw his car pull in was one of a kid visiting Disney for the first time. As the door to the driver's side opened and Aiden came into view, my phone began to ring.
"Hello," Our eyes locked, he lifted his hand in a way and I returned the gesture.
"I have a few things to give you, do you think I could come up?" He asked shutting his car door behind him.
A spark of fear and excitement shot down my spine, "Iâ give me a second," I got up and rushed to my coat hanger, grabbing my robe putting it on over my oversized sleeping shirt a task that would be simple if I didn't have my phone pressed against my ear with my shoulder.
I opened my door and peeked out to the hallway, no light was coming from under Aunt Jenna's door and I could hear the faint sound of the living room TV which told me that she was still downstairs. Shutting my door again, I made sure to lock it before making my way back to my nook.
"Okay, you're good," I said with a nod.
He hung up and the next thing I knew the ladder was pressed up against my now open window and he was climbing up one handed, three identical large white bags on his other hand.
My brain was having trouble comprehending how he was able to do it so effortlessly when I nearly shit myself with both hands on the ladder.
He got settled on my window sill with his legs hanging out the window and turned his upper body to face me.
"What is all this?" I asked taking the bags that he had extended out to me. Walking over to my bed I settled the bags down. Feeling his intense gaze observing my every move made my knees feel like jelly.
"Open it," He replied with his dimpled smile.
And so I did. The first thing I pulled out of the first bag was a bejeweled maroon eye mask.
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him in confusion, he let out a small chuckle and nodded urging me to continue. So I tug deeper into the bag pulling out a pair of maroon heels similar to the heels I wore for the orchestra show. The last thing in the bag was a dress, a maroon dress.
Long with a slit down the right side, V neck with spaghetti straps, made with silky smooth satin. And medium length shoes.
My head snapped back to look at him, "This was the point of the game?"
He nodded, "I needed to find a way to make you help me find a dress while still maintaining the element of surprise. Did it work? Are you surprised?"
I blinked in complete and utter confusion, so many questions were circling my mind and all of them wanted to come out all at once, "What does that evenâ Iâ Did youâ What?" I might have just had a seizure with how fast and how incoherently those words left my mouth, "What's in the other bags?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to punch myself in the face because managed to pick the most irrelevant question of all.
"The same thing just different sizes, since I don't know your sizes, I just grabbed a few that I thought would fit you," He said casually with a shrug completely contrasting my state of disarray.
I lifted my arms in frustration and confusion and everything in between,"You could've just asked me like a normal person,"
He snickered seeming to enjoy my misery, "What gave you the impression that I was in any way normal?"
My eyes moved back to the bags, "What am I supposed to do with all this?"
"Wear it," He said stating the obvious.
I rolled my eyes turning to him, "You must've forgotten that I live in here, my days are spent between these walls," I motioned to the four walls if my bedroom.
"I'm well aware, which is why I thought of everything. I know just the place where you can wear that," I simply stared, urging him to go on, "We're going to a ball, darlin,"
Two chapters in a week, I'm on a roll. Yay me!
Also I completely forgot to thank you guys for 1k reads!!! Ahh that's literally insane!!! When I say I appreciate every single one of you I truly do mean it <3 Thank you for coming on this crazy journey with me. I hope you'll stick around because there's so much to come.
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