Chapter 5: Chapter 5

KYA

I feel much better after letting everything out. Owen is right, he does have good shoulders for crying.

He grabs another drink of water. “It’s not my business, but I just wonder. Do you regret it?”

I think for a moment. Other than the pain, I feel like I made the right choice. I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”

Owen steps back behind the bushes. “Shall we?” I nod and step behind the tree. I’m used to nudity, it doesn’t faze me at all. People strip down all the time in my old pack.

I wonder if it’s the same here, or if Owen is being respectful to me. I’d hate to make him uncomfortable. And I’m actually glad of it. Seeing him naked might make my mind wander to where it shouldn’t go…thinking of Dec naked.

I don’t even know what Dec looks like naked. I’ve seen him in nothing but a towel. He had a giant gash on the inside of his thigh once when I was sixteen. I had my hands dangerously close as I healed the artery before he lost too much blood.

His legs are thick, thicker than my waist. He has a tribal tattoo on the outside of his right leg. It spreads from hip to knee. His chest is perfectly sculpted, like Owen’s, but with broader shoulders and thicker, more rounded abs.

His face is so handsome, with eyes of pure silver framed by long dark lashes. He has soft lips that break into a giant smile, and a scar on the left side of his jaw.

I wanted to heal that one, but he wouldn’t let me. He got it playing hide and seek when he was twelve. A whimper sounds involuntarily from my chest, snapping me back to the present.

Owen turns to look at me. I shake my head and keep moving. ~Keep it together, Kya. You rejected him, he’s no longer yours.~

Owen and I have a good run. After regaining my focus, I’m able to push through and we cover a vast distance. We finally stop and lie down on the forest floor. The adrenaline rush gives me a high and I dwell in the feeling.

Owen smiles as I look his way. He really is good-looking. His features are sharp and angular.

Stop it. We’re not checking him out. I look back up to the sky and stare at the bright twinkling stars.

“You looked really beautiful at the ball.”

I turn my head toward Owen. “Thank you, but I don’t really want to remember that night.”

He rumbles in his chest, then sits up. “I understand. Sorry for bringing that up. I just want to get to know you better. I enjoy talking to you.”

I sit next to him. “Thank you. I like talking to you. I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Owen takes me back home and walks me to the door. It’s a little awkward, so I just open the door. “Goodnight, Kya.”

I wave. “Bye, Owen.” I grab a quick snack from the fridge, then head to the bathroom. I need a shower after that workout!

I check my messages. Chase tells me to practice my training—Alpha’s orders.

I roll my eyes. He is still my alpha and, unfortunately, I still have to follow his orders. I send a quick reply of piss off, then get in bed. Chase knows I’ll behave.

I wake up in the middle of the night in an uncontrollable sweat. My stomach lurches and I rush to the bathroom. Oh, this is getting annoying. Damn it!

On top of not being able to hold food down, I don’t get to sleep either. Why did my mate have to be such a slut? Now I have to suffer because he screwed up.

~Screw you, Dec. This is all your fault.~

“~Ugh, I know~,” the voice whispers back to me.

I brush my teeth with a little more aggression than necessary. I hear Aiden beginning to fuss. I sneak into the bedroom and pull him to me.

“Kya?”

I shush Kendra. “I got him, get some sleep.” Kendra relaxes and quickly falls back to sleep.

I change Aiden’s diaper, then warm up a bottle. Pulling out my phone, I bite my lip and make the call.

The phone rings once before it’s answered. “Kya?” His voice is excited. It’s smooth as silk and soothes my soul.

Before I called, I was pissed; now, I’m empty. I don’t know what to say, I dialed his number on a whim. I never thought he would answer, let alone on the first ring.

“Kya. I’m so sorry. Please talk to me.”

Oh my Goddess…what? He’s apologizing? My lips and hands tremble. Any words I have are getting caught in my throat, so nothing comes out.

“Listen, Kya. I know I messed up. I understand why you rejected me. I don’t blame you at all.” I let out a breath, but still can’t speak. I sniffle and wipe away a tear.

“Kya. Please. I’ll do everything I can to get you back. I haven’t even looked at another woman.” I sniffle again.

“Kya, I heard about Duke. I’m so proud of you. I knew you would get in. I’ll wait for you. I know med school takes a long time. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

I exhale a hard breath. I never told him I plan on getting into med school or that I even wanted to go to Duke. “Kya, please. One word. Please.”

I place my finger on the end call button. I whisper, “Declan,” then hang up.

I hold Aiden over my shoulder as I burp him and slowly rub his back until he’s asleep. My tears are warm on my cheeks. Soothing the pup helps comfort me.

I rest my cheek against his soft, warm head. I kiss his little, squishy cheeks then lay him down, tucking the blanket around him.

I lie back in my bed and hug a pillow to me. That wasn’t as painful as I had feared. I remember Dec’s words as I drift back to sleep.

***

I wake up not feeling hopeless for once. I replay Dec’s words in my mind over and over again. He surprised me. I never thought that he knew I have plans of going to med school, or of attending Duke. What else does he know about me?

He still wants me after everything that’s happened. Do I want him though? As of right now, no. Absolutely not. And what about our bond? It’s gone, severed, broken…right? Now I’m determined to read that book.

I quickly make breakfast and get ready for school. Owen sends me a text, letting me know he’s on his way. I help Ian into his backpack, and we head out just as Owen pulls up with Spencer riding shotgun.

I stare out the window as Spencer prattles on. Dec is on my mind. Closing my eyes, I push the hurt I feel away.

Owen drops Ian off before finding a parking space. When I've slipped out of the SUV, Spencer’s arm wraps over my shoulders.

“There’s this awesome band playing in no-man’s-land this weekend. We’re all going, that includes you.”

I push his arm off of me. “Are they a country band?” He snorts as if to say ~yeah right~.

“Then I’m not interested.” I hear Owen chuckling on my other side. I turn to him. “Are you going?”

He nods. “Yeah, but I go to hang with my friends. I couldn’t care less about the music.

“You see Spencer—he’s not fancy like Applebee’s on a date night, with the bourbon street steak and an Oreo shake, with some whipped cream on top, too.”

I nod my head. “Two straws, one check.”

Owen cuts me off. “Girl, I got you.” He winks and I can’t help but giggle.

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Whatever. So, you coming?”

I shrug my shoulder. “Sure, why not.”

Spencer stays with me as I wait for Alana. Chase’s truck pulls up to the curb in front of us. I wave at my brother with a smile. He rushes out of the truck and picks me up in a massive hug, swinging me in a circle.

“Ky, I’ve missed you!” He kisses the top of my head as he sets me back down. He looks me over and scrunches his face. “You’ve lost weight and you look like you just crawled out of bed.”

I nod. “I’ve been running the territory and I have a hard time keeping food down and sleeping.” Chase’s chest rumbles.

I raise my brow. “Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” He has the look that says ~yeah right~, but he drops it. A thought enters my mind—I have to know. “Did you tell Dec that I was planning to go to med school?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, everyone knows that. You’ve been planning it since you could heal. I mentioned that you got into Duke, though.”

~Everyone~ didn’t know that. My family and Alana knew that.

We turn toward the school where Alana is standing near Spencer. Chase notices and growls. I smack his arm.

“Quit that. He’s not after your mate. This is my friend, Spencer. Spencer, this is my brother, Chase.”

A goofy grin spreads across Spencer’s face and he reaches out a hand. “The beta.”

Chase nods and shakes Spencer’s hand. “Friend?”

Spencer nods then wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Yeah, unfortunately I’m friend zoned. I’m pretty sure that’s not changing anytime soon.”

Chase laughs out loud. “It’s a good thing you’re aware of that. Alpha Redd would have to kill you otherwise.”

I look down and close my eyes. Spencer shrugs his shoulder. As long as he knows his place, I don’t mind the arm so much. Chase kisses Alana, then watches as we make our way inside the school.

We drop our books in our lockers, which happen to be in the same hall. Melissa catches up to us and we all head to class.

The school day goes by quickly, with only mild heartache and nausea throughout the day.

Owen turns on the country station and we sing along as we ride home, much to Spencer’s annoyance. Since I promised I would hang out with everyone at Lou's, we drop Ian home then head over.

Cameron and Melissa are talking about the upcoming show as we join them at the table. I end up sandwiched between Spencer and Owen. Spencer pipes up. “Kya said she’s in, but she’s a country bumpkin.”

I raise my brow at him. “Watch it. I’m no bumpkin.”

He looks me over. “I know you’re not, you could be really hot, but you dress like one.”

Owen smacks Spencer at the back of the head. “Dude. She’s been sick. Give her a break.”

I look down to my baggy T-shirt and sweats. My hair is in my usual messy bun and I’m not wearing any makeup. I guess I haven’t been taking care of myself. I grunt and make a point to actually put in some effort tomorrow.

The diner isn’t just for hanging out. They all break up their homework and we turn into a study group. Damon and I pair up and work on our math. We finish it pretty quickly, so he helps Bianca with hers.

I work on my anatomy. We’re still learning about the circulatory system. “That looks tough,” Bianca says as she closes her math book.

I shrug my shoulder. “It is a little, but I plan on being the pack doctor. I’m a natural healer, but I can’t naturally heal everyone and everything, so why not learn the conventional way.”

She smiles. “That makes sense.”

Owen leans in to whisper in my ear. “Pack doctor and luna. You’re a busy woman.”

I look up to see his sweet smile. I shake my head and whisper back. “I’m not a luna.”

He leans in closer. “You should be.”

I close my eyes. I’ve never even considered the fact that my ex-mate is the alpha of our pack. I would be his luna right now if I hadn’t rejected him. Guilt weighs heavily on my heart at letting down my entire pack.

Sure, he betrayed me, but I betrayed my pack.

I can barely breathe. Owen stands up and pulls me to my feet. He takes me to the bathroom just in time for me to lose everything I just ate.

I rinse my mouth and cry my eyes out. Owen brings me to his chest and rubs my back. He grabs a paper towel, placing it in my hand. “Talk to me.”

I wipe my nose on the rough, brown paper. “It’s my pack. I never even thought of them. I should be there for them, but I’m letting them all down.”

He holds me tighter. My head leans against his chest as I continue to sob. “You can’t blame yourself for that. The luna is the jewel of the pack. The alpha is responsible for taking care of his luna, treasuring her.

“You didn’t let them down, he let you down. The pack is fine. They’re no different than they were last week. Even if anything happens, their alpha is still there.”

My sobs gradually subside. Owen kisses the top of my head then pulls back to arm’s length. “Do you want to get something in your stomach? Or would you rather just run?”

My stomach is in knots. I’m in no shape to run. I shake my head. “I’m not feeling well.”

He nods and takes my hand. “Come on. Let’s get you something to make you feel better.” He leads me out of the bathroom. He stops at the counter and says something to the waitress. We then go back to the group.

Melissa and Cameron are packing up. Melissa gives me a quick hug. “You okay, sweetie?”

I nod. “Yeah. Owen is taking good care of me.”

She smiles. “All right. I’m here if you need anything.”

I’m touched. She’s so sweet. “Thanks. I’ll be all right.” Cameron takes her hand and they leave.

Everyone else packs up and waves goodbye. Owen and I sit back into the booth. The waitress from before sets a bread bowl in front of me, and fries and a shake in front of Owen. I smile up to him.

I take the top off of the bread. Inside is a creamy broth with vegetables, potatoes, and sausage. It’s really delicious and the first bite sits comfortably in my stomach. I slowly eat and chat with Owen.

“Let’s skip the run tonight. We can finish tomorrow.”

I swallow my bite of food. “That sounds good. I’m supposed to be training too, but I could really use some downtime.”

He stands up and flings his backpack on. “Great. I know the perfect place.” I stand up and grab my backpack. Owen drops money on the table, then takes my bag from me. “Girl, I got you.”

I smile as he leads me to his SUV. I recognize the area almost instantly. The lake is so beautiful. The sunset sparkles on the crystalline water. It’s peaceful and serene.

Owen pulls two camp chairs from the back of his SUV. We relax as the sun falls behind the mountains.

Owen doesn’t say anything and just lets me sit to enjoy the healing power of nature. I kick off my shoes and scrunch my toes into the soil.

An hour or so has passed when he finally does speak up. “Kya. You could join our pack. You would never have to go back there.”

I turn to look at his handsome face. His brown eyes are softly peering at me. I have no reply. I don’t know what I want at this point, other than becoming a doctor. I look back out over the water. It’s dark now, but our eyes can still see.

“I’m leaving in a few months. I got into Duke University. They have a highly ranked medical program.”

Owen doesn’t say anything for a while. “You don’t have to leave.”

I shake my head. “I know I don’t have to, but that’s what I want.”

I start yawning. Owen pulls me up from my seat and packs away the chairs. “Let’s get you back.”

I nod. He takes my hand and leads me back to the SUV. “Owen. Thanks for...everything.”

Owen stops. He turns to face me. I can see he wants to say something. Instead, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. He turns back around and continues walking. “You’re welcome, Kya.”

Owen walks me to the door. “Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” He kisses the top of my head and jumps back into the SUV.

I walk through the door and the smell of fresh flowers hits my nose. A dozen white tulips are sitting in the middle of the table.

The card is addressed to me: ~These are to say I’m sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll wait forever if that’s as long as it takes. P.S. You can call me and not speak any time~.

I lean in closer to smell the buds. It’s such a sweet gesture, I can’t help but smile. I take a hot shower and lie down in bed. I toss and turn, but can’t get my mind to stop racing. Last night, I’d felt better after hearing his voice.

I kick my blanket back off and take my phone to the porch. I dial Dec's number. Again, he answers on the first ring.

“Kya. I’m here. I’m glad you called.” I feel like I’ve just been wrapped in a warm blanket in front of a fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa. I hum.

“Chase says you’re not able to hold anything down and that you’ve lost weight. I understand how you feel. I’m doing the same thing. Today was better though. I think just hearing you say my name was enough to get me through the day.”

I close my eyes as my heart aches for him. “Me too, Dec.” I hang up before he can hear me cry.

I wipe my tears. After taking a few calming breaths, I go back to bed and sleep through the night.