Chapter 4: Chapter 4

KYA

I sit with Ian on the bus. I don’t see anyone else I know. They must all drive to school. I could really use a car. Oh well, such is life.

I stare gloomily out the window as I watch the scenery go by. It takes an hour to get to the school.

Alana is standing at the bus stop when we arrive. I give Ian a hug, then I hop down from the bus. She throws her arms around me. “I’ve missed you so much.”

I pull back and look at her mark that she has fully on display. “No wait, huh?”

She shakes her head. “There was no need. We already know and trust each other. Sorry for not calling you. We were really busy. I moved in with him already.”

I nod my understanding. I’m so happy for her, yet a gut-wrenching feeling rushes over me. I could’ve been mated and moved in with my mate too.

I feel as if I’ve been sucker punched. I rush to the nearest bathroom and say goodbye to this morning’s breakfast. Leaning back against the stall, I wait for the pain to subside.

I rinse out my mouth and leave the bathroom. Alana is waiting for me with my backpack. “What happened? Are you all right?”

I shrug my backpack on. “It’s the bond. It’s really painful and it makes me sick. Every time I think of him, I get sick. Sometimes I randomly get sick without thinking of him. I don’t know what’s going on.”

We make our way to first hour.

“He’s been pretty sick too. Chase told me he was throwing up in the middle of his patrol the last two nights.”

My stomach knots up. “Okay, no more talk of him. It makes me sick. Literally.”

Alana nods. She pulls a huge envelope from her backpack. “Your mom asked me to give you this.”

I gasp. “No way!” I look at the return label. Duke University. Oh my Goddess.

I open it up and read the letter. “I got in!”

“~Mom, Dad, I got accepted to Duke!~” I feel their excitement before they both give me their congratulations.

I’m picked up in a bear hug as soon as we get into the classroom. “What’s up, Kya.”

I growl and Spencer stands me back up.

I swallow back the bile that he squeezed out of me. “Please don’t do that again. I just finished throwing up.”

Melissa hands me a water bottle. “Here, sweetie.”

I take a drink then close the lid. “Thanks. Melissa, Spencer, this is Alana. She’s my best friend and sister-in-law.”

They shake hands and we all head to our normal seats for class to begin. I have to put in extra effort to stay focused on anything and get my work done.

I have Damon in my math class, so we sit together. He’s the strong silent type, but he has a panty-dropping smile… Not that I would. His light brown skin is complimented by silvery green eyes and high cheekbones.

We work together on the assignment and finish it before class ends. Woo, less homework.

I meet up with Owen at the doorway to our English class. He gives me a smile. “Hey Kya. I’ve been looking forward to English class for the first time ever.”

I laugh. He opens the door, allowing me in first. I head to my normal seat, then change my mind. I choose the seat next to Owen instead. He smiles as I sit down.

We all sit together at lunch. Alana and Melissa get along really well. Cameron hugs Melissa from behind. “Alana, this is my mate, Cameron.”

Owen sits on the other side of me. My exhaustion begins kicking in from my lack of sleep and nutrition. I lean my head on my hand. “Are you all right?”

I nod. “Just tired. I’m not sleeping well lately.”

He pulls me sideways so I’m leaning on his chest. At first, it feels really nice. Too bad it’s not my mate holding me.

My stomach turns. I stand up and make it to the nearest trashcan. Owen hands me my water bottle. “Do you want me to take you home?”

I rinse my mouth out and spit into the trashcan. “No. I’ll be fine. I can’t skip Anatomy. I have to keep my grades up.”

He looks at me as if he's unsure. “Maybe we should skip our run tonight?”

I shake my head. “I’m fine, really. I’ll grab a nap on the bus.”

Bianca joins us with her tray. “You ride the bus? Why don’t you just ride with us.”

I smile at her. “My cousin, Ian, is in the fourth grade, he rides it too. I’m going to stick with him.”

Bianca laughs. “He can come too. Owen drives a Land Rover and Damon has the Jeep. There’s plenty of room.”

Owen nods next to her. I shrug my shoulder. “Why not.” I manage to choke down half a sandwich before lunch ends.

I feel a lot better; now, stay focused and avoid thinking about him. Keep it down, girl.

I exhale a breath. Owen’s scent washes over me. He smells really good, like cologne. “Thanks for looking out for me, Owen.”

He runs his hands up and down my arms. “You sure you’re going to be okay? I don’t mind taking you.”

I smile at his sweetness. “I’m fine. I promise.”

He nods. “All right. I’ll wait for you and Ian after school near the elementary side.”

I wave him off and step into my history class. I never really cared about history, but today is different. I look over the bookshelf for some information.

“Is there something specific you’re looking for, Miss Mason?” Mr. Giles folds his arms across his chest in a relaxed manner.

“Yes actually. I’m looking for anything on rejected mates.” I exhale out the painful feeling of a stab in my chest and focus.

He nods. “Information or history?”

The pain begins to grow as I’m thinking. I place my hand on my chest and breathe. “Information, please,” I manage to squeak out.

He squats down to the very bottom row. Grabbing the smallest book on the shelf, he places it in my hands.

“I have a few copies; you can keep that one.” He nods at the book and walks back to his desk. I stuff it in my backpack and focus on the lesson.

Anatomy is my last class of the day. Alana and I love this class; it’s challenging but exciting. Alana sits at the science bench with me.

“Chase wants you to come back to our pack. He’s worried about you, we both are,” she whispers.

I shake my head. “Tell him I can’t and not to worry. I have support over there, I’m all right. Plus, Aunt Kendra and Uncle Mark need a little help with the little ones.”

She brushes her fingers through her hair. “He wants me to convince you any way I can, but I agree with you. I think you’re better off staying away for now.”

I pull out my homework and notebook. “Thanks Lan. I need to figure things out. I can’t do that there.” She pulls out her supplies and drops the subject.

***

I meet Ian at the gate. “Hey kiddo. We’re going to ride home with Owen. Is that cool with you?”

His eyes brighten. “I get to ride with the alpha? That’s awesome!”

I smile and lead him toward the parking lot. I spot the Land Rover with Owen sitting behind the wheel looking hot. His sunglasses give him a cool vibe and he has a sexy smirk as we approach the vehicle.

“Everyone went to the diner. You want to go?”

I shake my head as I slip into the front seat. “I’ve got a ton of homework and I want to make dinner. Uncle Mark is working today. We’re still going to run tonight, right?”

Owen nods. He looks into the rearview mirror. “Ian, you buckled up back there?” Ian looks at me with wonder on his face. The seat belt clicks. then Owen drives off.

When we get back, I find some chicken in the freezer and set it under the cold water to thaw. Ian walks to his room, Gretchen is coloring, while Aunt Kendra is napping on the couch.

I sit by Gretchen at the table and work on my homework in silence. Aiden cries from his crib, and I rush to get him before Kendra wakes up.

I change his diaper and rock him. His tiny hands reach up to touch my face. I kiss his little fingers and weep.

It never occurred to me everything I gave up in the spur of the moment. I use a baby wipe to catch my tears. My heart aches in my chest. ~Dec, it hurts so much. ~

His soft voice whispers in my head. “~This ache will go away eventually, I hope.~” I almost laugh at the perfectly timed voice.

I carry the pup out to the kitchen and warm a bottle of breast milk in some hot water. I pour a small cup of milk for Gretchen and give her some graham crackers. I shake the bottle and check the temperature.

While Aiden drinks his bottle, I sit back down to work on my homework. I finish faster than I thought I would. I burp Aiden and put him in his swing.

I get the book out of my bag that Mr. Giles gave me. The introduction talks about the Moon Goddess and how mates are her gift to us. I breathe past the heartache. It seems like it’s getting a little easier.

Who am I kidding? It hurts like hell. I put the book away after I can no longer hold in the pain or the graham crackers.

Kendra wakes up while I’m making chocolate-chip cookies. “Are you going out tonight?” she asks.

I slide the baking sheet into the oven. “Yeah, after dinner. We should be almost finished. This territory is pretty big. I fed and changed Aiden while you napped.”

Kendra smiles. “Thank you, sweetie. I’m going to go pump.”

I nod as I turn the water off. “Okay. I’m going to start on dinner.”

***

I toss a bag of cookies to Owen. “What’s this?”

I mentally roll my eyes. “It’s a snake.”

He chuckles as he tosses a cookie in his mouth. “Did you make these?”

I nod as I buckle my seat belt. We’re going to the other side of the territory, it’s more convenient to drive there than run.

Once I’m in my wolf, I have a need to run. I pick up the pace alongside Owen. He catches on and speeds up. We cover eight miles in twenty minutes.

Owen stops and shifts behind a bush. He only throws on his shorts, leaving his perfect chest bare.

I walk out to meet him. “What’s up?”

He’s still catching his breath. “You tell me. You’re the one that wanted to run.”

I put my arms up behind my head as I catch my breath. “I don’t know. I just felt like running. I just had the need to be free.”

He gets a water bottle and takes a drink. He tosses it to me and I swallow a few gulps before handing it back. “Maybe you would feel better if you talked to someone.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Who should I talk to? I don’t know anyone that’s gone through this.”

He stuffs the bottle away. “I don’t mean look for advice. I mean talk about how you’re feeling. It can’t be easy keeping it to yourself.”

I crane my head back and look at the sky. It’s crystal clear and full of stars.

“I don’t know what I feel sometimes. I’m perfectly fine and then out of nowhere, I get sucker punched in the chest. I can’t breathe and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.”

Owen steps closer and looks up to the sky as well. “Do you think about him?”

I get choked up. I can’t speak so I nod. I swallow it down. “All the time.”

Owen looks at my face. He runs his thumb across my cheek. “You don’t have to answer. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

I shake my head. “You didn’t.” Since the floodgates have already leaked, I might as well let them loose. I squat down and hold my knees to my chest. Owen squats next to me and smooths my back.

He’s sweet, but I wish Dec were the one here for me, he should be the one to soothe my pain away. ~Dec. Why didn’t you wait for me? Why did you betray me?~

That quiet voice enters my head again and softly whispers, “~I’m so sorry.~” The ache in my chest doubles.

I can’t stand it. I curl up on the ground and sob.

DEC

My heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest, slowly. I look up at the sky and howl.

I’m supposed to be patrolling, but I just felt the need to run. I had one of my guards fill in for me and I took off. I ran hard for fifteen minutes straight.

Now, I can barely stay on my feet. I shift back and throw up. I hear her soft whisper. “~Dec. Why didn't you wait for me? Why did you betray me?~” ~I’m so sorry~, is all I can think.

I wonder if the voice is my imagination, my punishment for hurting her. The Moon Goddess gave me the perfect mate and I ruined everything before I even had the chance to be with her.

My pain doubles and I curl up on the forest floor. I should get used to this pain. I’ve spent every night in pain, thinking of her. I really fucked up.

Chase breaks through the clearing. “Don’t even say it. I already know.” I stop him before he can rip me a new one, again.

“Alana said Kya’s sick too. I tried to get her to come back, but she wants to stay away. She got accepted to Duke.”

I force myself to stand up and throw my shorts on. The thought of her sick makes me feel guilty. But Duke—that was always her dream. I feel proud for my mate. She works so hard and keeps pushing.

“Good for her. Let her be. If she needs to stay away, I’m not going to force her back. When she comes back, I’ll make it up to her.”

Chase nods. “There are more and more rogues testing our borders.”

A growl rumbles in my chest. “I know. The fuckers heard about me getting rejected and think I’ve gone soft. Shall we go show them otherwise?”

Chase growls back in excitement. “Oh yeah.”

Tonight is actually quiet for once. Not much is happening. Chase and I meet up with my guards and test them. I have a few new guys that like to screw around.

The older guards have been around since my father’s time. They all show me respect and took the transition pretty well. I’ve been teaming up older with younger, just to get them in sync. I love it when some punk kid gets schooled by an old badass.

Bruno was my father’s beta. The guy kicks major ass. He’s like an uncle to me and Chase. Right now, he’s whooping Finn, who is in wolf form.

“Bruno. Don’t hurt him too much. He still has a job to do.”

Bruno is naked and hasn’t even shifted. He’s got Finn in a choke hold. Bruno releases the wolf and stands beside me.

“Hey, Alpha. The idiot thought it would be a good idea to throw itching powder in my skivvies. So, I ripped the fur off of his fluffy little tail.”

Chase cracks up as he holds Finn’s tail up for us all to see the patches of missing fur.

“SHIFT.” Finn is standing before me within a second of my command.

“Guarding the border is not playtime or time to screw around. This will not happen again. As punishment for slacking on the job, you get to help Miss Regina in the pack house, and you get to train the new pups for a month.”

He nods his head. “Yes, sir.”

I’ve never understood why no one likes training the new pups, but to the guards, it’s one of the worst punishments ever. I like the new wolves. It’s amazing to see from where they start their training.

Chase and I usually work with the newbies. It’s a great reminder of how much we’ve grown and how much stronger we’ve become. It’s my favorite thing to see a she-wolf kick a male’s ass. I love it when those cocky punks get put in their place.

I clap Bruno on his shoulder. “You two get back to your patrol.”

All pups go through training once they get their wolves. There were four already this year and it’s only spring.

All members of my pack know how to fight and defend themselves. When they’re around fifteen or sixteen, we start figuring out their skills.

Kya was different. She is a natural healer. She trained like everyone else, but everyone already knew what her skill was.

She started working with her father as soon as she got her wolf, on top of training. She’s not the greatest fighter, but she can hold her own.

Goddess, I miss her. When I became alpha, I hadn’t seen her, not once. I got so busy and preoccupied with the changes that needed to be made to make the pack run smoothly that I didn’t really have time for her.

I knew she was honing her healing abilities, so I never had to look in on her. Plus, Chase would talk about her. The idiot almost forgot her birthday. I reminded him the week before.

The night of the ball was the first time in almost six months I actually got to see her. Goddess, she was so beautiful. She’s a tiny little thing, one of the smallest she-wolves in our pack.

Chase shoves me sideways. I’m so distracted, I almost fall into a tree. “What has you brooding?”

I give him a look that says ~shut up~ and I keep walking. He stays by my side. “Do you even have to ask?” I finally say.

He shakes his head. “Nah, I think of Alana constantly, and we’re mated.”

I growl a warning; I’m relieved it didn’t sound like a whimper. I’m jealous of him. It kills me that my mate rejected me. I envy the fact that he shares a link with his mate.

I share a link with my entire pack, but it’s not the same. There’s a connection that I long for. I long for her, for Kya.