Chapter 120: Chapter 14

DARA

I feel so alone. Now that Colton has his mate, I feel even more alone.

I love him and it hurts. I don’t wish to watch the Earth children tonight.

I walk along the beach at the edge of the James territory, my home away from the sky. The Sun God is giving off his last ounce of light as the waves caress the sands.

I have watched many lonely humans walk alone on the beach. I quickly understand the lure of tranquility.

I watch the Sun God fade and the sky changes from orange to purple, then at last to deep navy blue, so dark the humans see it as black. My sisters sparkle as they watch over mother’s Earth children.

Mortals are fascinating.

A glow from far to my right pulls my attention. A fire is billowing farther down the beach with a lone man staring into the inferno.

I have not met this individual, but I recognize that he is a wolf. His hair is brown and reaches his strong shoulders. His face and his eyes are soft.

I find him quite attractive in his sleeveless shirt.

He notices me and looks my way.

“I thought I was alone out here.” His voice is soft, but deep.

“I apologize. I do not wish to intrude. I was walking the beach and I saw the fire. I will go.”

“No, please. It’s fine. You’re not intruding. I was just trying to get away from the pack. I’m not used to people watching me wherever I go.”

He sits down in front of the fire. “There’s plenty of room.”

“I thank you.” I sit beside him, but not so close as to invade his space. Mortals enjoy their space. “Do people often watch you?”

“Yeah. I was cursed so people used to be afraid of me. I lived alone since I was seventeen. I met my mate when I was twenty-two and I thought my problems were solved, but she rejected me then ran off with a human.”

“I am sorry for all you have suffered. I too have people watching me. They fear me. I found one person that treated me as an equal, but he found his mate and I am now alone once more.”

“That sucks. Where’s your mate?” He throws pieces of driftwood into the fire.

I find a piece and follow his motions. “I do not have a mate. I am not a wolf.”

The man stops throwing the wood to look at me. “You’re powerful. What are… You’re a Starlight Sister. Forgive me, my lady, but I’m not a fan of your kind. I was cursed by one of your sisters.”

“Realta would not curse anyone. We do not have the ability to curse, only bless.” I defend the honor of my sister.

“Yeah, well, my blessing turned into my curse.” He opens his hand as he looks at me. His palm glows orange as the fire blazes higher and hotter.

“You consider your blessing as a curse because people fear you, but you are able to control your gift. You choose to call it a curse. I am sorry for the burden you have carried.”

The man hangs his head. “Can you take it away from me?”

“Would you prefer to be ordinary? Would you prefer to lose something that has been a part of you for most of your life?”

“Are you saying you wouldn’t give up your powers for a chance to be normal?” he asks as he looks up at me with sad, yet pretty eyes.

“No. But perhaps for the chance to be loved. However, there is no one that does love me, at least not in the sense of a mate. I will never have that.”

“You and me both. Does that mean you’re not taking it away?”

“I am sorry, but I cannot. Only the one that blessed you can remove the blessing, but it requires a great sacrifice from the both of you. My sister is mortal now. I am not certain she would be able to remove your blessing.”

“My curse.” He shakes his head, then becomes solemn.

I enjoy the warmth of the fire, yet I do not like his silence. “Fire blessed, what is your name? My name is Dara. Perhaps we can be lonely together sometimes.”

He laughs a single quiet laugh. “I’m Ian Kirkland.” He holds his hand out toward me. I have learned this custom over time, so I place my hand in his. His skin is warm, as a fire blessed tends to be. It feels comfortable and makes me smile.

“Perhaps we can. Are you hungry, Dara? Dorothy’s is becoming a favorite of mine.”

“As an immortal, I do not require food for sustenance, but I do enjoy some flavors. What is your favorite?”

Ian gets to his feet, then offers his hands to help me up. “I’m in the mood for a good burger and a shake.”

“I would like to try both of those.” Ian’s lips twitch up into a half smile like Colton’s does on occasion. We extinguish the fire. Then he leads me to an older blue truck. I recognize it from when Virgil was young.

“Did Virgil let you have his old truck?”

He opens the door for me. “Yeah. I needed something to get around in. It’s a pretty big territory. I’m surprised it still runs, but Able is a pretty good mechanic.”

“I am also surprised.” He closes my door, then walks around to his side and climbs in. The truck starts and again I smile.

“So Dara. You mentioned you had a friend. Anyone I know?” he asks. I know this is a mortal habit, making conversation.

“Colton. He was my first kiss and he used his mouth between my legs to give me a sexual experience.” Ian swerves the truck a little and his eyes are large. He clears his throat, then glances between me and the road.

“Did I say something wrong again? I spend enough time with mortals to understand how some instances are appropriate and others are not.”

“Um. Usually sexual encounters are kept private. For instance, I have had sex once, but I am not going to say who it was with.”

“I would like to experience sex. Was it everything you hoped it would be?” Ian makes the throat clearing sound, then moves his hair out of his face.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

He shakes his head. “No, my lady. Not uncomfortable. It’s called a turn on. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but males tend to get turned on rather easily. When a beautiful woman such as yourself talks about sex, we males stop thinking clearly and having sex is the only thing on our minds. As for your other question, it was not. I was drunk and I paid a human woman just so I could say I’m not a virgin. It was a horrible experience.”

Ian told me I was a beautiful woman and that my words turned him on. I looked him over. He was quite attractive, in a very different way than Colton.

Ian’s body wasn’t as solid, but still strong. His muscles weren’t as large and his waist was slimmer. His pants were poking up in a way that made me think ‘turned on’ didn’t mean what I thought it did.

“Does ‘turned on’ mean that your cock is hard? Is ‘turned on’ not just attraction?”

The truck swerved, then Ian regained control.

“I think I should refrain from speaking. I am distracting you.”

Ian pulled the truck over to the side of the road, but I could still feel it running. He turned to look at me.

“I apologize for my driving. You’re not distracting me, I’m just surprised that you’re so blunt. Yes, ‘turned on’ means that my cock is hard, but for women, usually their pussy gets moist. Where you heard those terms I have no idea, but those are sexual terms for our body parts. Not everyone likes those words.”

“Are the words offensive?” I asked.

English had so many slang terms that I was still trying to understand.

“Not to me, but again those are things that are not usually spoken of in polite conversation.”

I thought I understood my mistake.

“It is not polite to speak of sex. I understand.”

I was still a little confused. Colton had spoken of pleasuring me.

“Ian, are there times it is appropriate? How would you have a conversation about sex?”

“When you’re with the person you want to have sex with, and you are both comfortable enough, it is okay to talk about. Maybe not as blunt as our conversation now.”

“So if I want to have sex, do I just tell the man I am with, as long as we are alone?”

“Maybe wait until you’re both turned on. If that’s the case, you might not have to say anything until you’re ready to consent.”

“Consent? I am not familiar with that word.”

“It means you give him permission. If you’re with a guy and you change your mind, you don’t give him consent. If he continues and forces himself on you, that’s called rape. You should feel comfortable when you’re having sex,” he explained.

I thought of Realta and the man that held her captive. She did not consent. She was raped. Her daughter Natalie was almost raped.

I thought her captor was treated fairly for what he did.

“I do not want to be raped. I want sex with someone that is understanding and gentle.”

Ian nodded his head.

“As it should be, especially your first time.”

“I am sorry that your first experience was not satisfying.”

He pulled the truck back onto the road.

“Yeah, I am too.”

I remained quiet for the rest of the drive to the diner. His pants had settled down and he helped me from the truck.

The diner was not as full as I had seen it. Ian led me to a booth. Ian ordered for both of us and we conversed about more appropriate topics.

“Why do you stay away from your family? Surely they do not fear you?”

“They’re not afraid of me, but they were tainted by association. My sister kept me from going rogue, with the help of Virgil. Kya Redd is my cousin. She tried to make it so people didn’t fear me. She shouldn’t have to do that. I appreciated her effort, but it wasn’t fair to them. The Redd pack was supportive, but I never found my place among them. I never fit in.”

“I understand not fitting in. I am called when needed, but I do not stay.”

“Your home is in the sky. Why would you want to be on Earth?”

He asked as he ate the last of his fries. I still had several on my plate, so I offered them to him.

“Thanks.”

“I have watched mortals since they were created. They are boring. Were’s, my mother’s mortal children, are fascinating. I have seen many come and go all over the earth. I have seen packs form and break apart. I have seen the mate bond. Watching from afar, eventually you want to experience it for yourself. My sister came to Earth and gave herself to a man. She bore a daughter. The man betrayed her and stole her child from her. His mate kept the child hidden away to ensure the alpha’s son could have her while my sister was held captive and raped repeatedly.”

“Oh, Goddess. That’s horrific. I had no idea Realta suffered so much.”

“Yes, she suffered, but she still has love. She had her daughter. Her daughter accepted her into her family and Realta made friends. The friends led her to Ryan Weston. He loves her. She gave up her mortality for him and now she has two daughters and a mate. She is happier than I have ever been. I fell to Earth because I wanted to experience the feeling of love.”

“Not everyone finds love, Dara,” he said.

His eyes were so soft, yet so sad.

“Realta told me that if I open my heart, I will find love. Not all experiences are good, but you have to be willing to take the bad to get the good. If you open your heart, Ian, I believe you will find love. You have already experienced the bad. Let the good in now.”

His soft eyes looked down to his plate, but I did not feel he was seeing it. Rather, he was deep in thought.

Our server came by to remove our dirty dishes. Ian got to his feet and placed money on the table.

“I’m just going to go to my room at the pack house, but you’re welcome to join me. I like talking to you. You’re different than I’m used to,” he said.

“All right. Thank you, Ian.”