4-16-14
You know when someone has a car freshman year and you all want to pile into a small truck and go to McDonalds?
Well that happened and Tana wouldn't drive. That was Bella's idea.
So due to that, I'm currently sitting with Jake, Bella, and Ivy eating lunch.
It physically pains me to sit with such a clashed group.
Bella is one of those people who acts different around certain people. i.e popular people.
So right now I'm the outcast scrolling down instagram, eating pizza.
I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, yet again with this family, but I couldn't help it.
"So you stalk Dylan's snapchat?" I asked Ivy.
"Yeah! I have to!"
Dear God.
Need I say that I've been on Dylan's best friends multiple times this year alone!
Just don't show fear.
"Why won't he text me back?! He was texting someone all hour but it sure wasn't me!"
Calm down blondie you'll break a nail stalking Dylan.
Seriously if you don't trust him why are you even talking to him dumbass? That's why I liked the flirting with Dylan.I would have liked to date him but get real, Dylan's a player.
"He's on snapchat!" Ivy gasped.
BITCH! Calm down!
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Because when it's showing their number, they're online."
What the f*ck does that even mean?
"Isn't he like talking to Ally?" Jake said.
Jake I could kill you!
"What?" "Yeah I thought they were talking." I nodded.
"What?! Who told you that?!"
I tried multiple times to change the subject but Ivy refused.
"Selena! Who told you that?"
"A bunch of people!"
Finally she started bugging Jake while checking twitter.
"Look! She made a tweet! And he's the only one who favorited it!" Ivy shoved her phone in my face.
"I like fighting with you." with a smirk emoji it read. One favorite.
"That means that they text and fight and she likes it when they fight so he does it more to her!" Ivy spoke quickly.
Wow,,, entrance to the First 48 much?
* * *
Just thought I'd put this out there, I checked Dylan's best friends in the next hour.
I was number 2 on Dylan's best friend list.
I cannot believe Ivy didn't mention anything! She didn't say that there was some random girl on his best friends. She didn't say it was me. She didn't say anything.
Either 1) she didn't care.
or 2) she knew it was me and didn't say anything.
Wow if it was #2 it would be so horrible!
Entertaining, but horrible.
BTW I'm on dylans snap best friends so lucky to dodge that bullet
4-19-14
(Midnight)
"Dude look at Cameron Slacks best friend!" Sarah snapchatted me.
"I don't have her. Who is it?!"
Please don't be Dylan...
"NICK CARTER!"
My body froze along with my heartbeat.
SHUT THE F*CK UP!
"F*CK" I replied.
In case you didn't read What He Really Did, Nick is my insane ex who made the rest of my 8th grade year miserable!
Never dating someone younger than me ever again!
"She's a ho." "OMG and he gets mad at Brit for talking to other guys in a convo " she sent both.
"She's a whore? & he's such a hyprocrite!"
I always knew Nick was a hyprocrite. It was jus him.
"She's cool and all but has always had a thing for Nick." Sarah was implying Cameron.
"He's weird I don't llike him he bosses Brit around." She added.
In case you forgot, Brit was dating Nick. She's a friend of mine but not close enough -obviously- that she would have problems dating him.
But Nick bossy? Never really took him for bossy... But I can see him like that.
Ugh he f*cking pisses me off.
"He's bossy?!"
"dude its weird like too obsessive TBH its scary" He's obsessive? F*cking what?! Talk about your damn plot twist. But then again, look at how he treated me. Would never stop or leave me along.
That little bitch is obsessive!
Holy f*ck new details!
"That's messed up!!"
"IKR he shouldnt be snap chatting her period!"
Then something popped into my head.
"He shouldn't! dude what if he's cheating?"
"I feel like he has issues like mental" she told me.
Oh hell I could have told you that.
"I figured that when he wouldn't stop torchering me." He never stopped. Then tried to make peace like a bipolar mother f*cker.
"seriously though hes weird and just different not in a good way" "He was never good. I think he's cheating..."
"i know i told her she deserves better and to look at her friends on snap"
"You told Brit?!" "Has this happened before?!" I added.
"nope this hasnt happened before"
Wow! Nick Carter, you're ass better not be cheating! If you are I mean I'll be relieved maybe Brit will dumb your sorry ass. If he f*cking lets her if he's as obsessive as I'm picturing.
"Has brit ever broken up with him?" wait let me rephrase that, "Has she ever done it? Or even tried to?"
I hope Brit will break up with him just not let it ruin her life like it did mine.
God last year was a nightmare.
Crying, fighting, pushing, hiding.
Never again.
4-22-14
Math.
I hate math as it is.
But this conversation we're having is not helping.
"Ivy get off your phone!" "Sorry miss." She laughed.
"She's just texting her friend Sara." Kevin laughed.
"Well he's texting his girlfriend Avery so-" She laughed nervously retorting.
I think my heart just fell into my stomach.
Girlfriend?!
EVERY DAMN YEAR! CAN'T HE STAY SINGLE FOR ONE BIRTHDAY OF OURS?!
You've got to be kidding me.
This totally threw me off with all the eye contact Kevin gave me in english today.
The eyes, the smiles! Lies! You have a girlfriend! God don't you know how to f*ck with my head!
"Yeah she lives in Salem." Jake added. That's three hours from here.
My teacher laughed and leaned against the board.
"So, long distance, how's that going?" She sang.
I laughed.
Laughing through the pain.
Then to top things off, isn't he supposed to be going to prom with Michelle the day before our birthday? Wonder if this Avery chick knows about this.
Ugh bitch.
* * *
"Selena help!" My teacher yelled at me.
I groaned and got up.
"Who's poster is this?" Â I said, picking up a poster. We were seperating posters from old book reports.
"Dustin's." Alle told me.
I laughed and Heather started groaning.
"Oh what are you groaning for? We all know you and Dustin are gunna get married." Ms. McComb said.
I burst out laughing.
"What! How's getting married now!?" I laughed at Heather. These speech girls were always giving me crap about marrying Kevin.
"Uh, you and Kevin are going to get married and we all know it."
My laugh silenced and my smile was replaced with a scowl.
"Oh my god miss no!" I hissed. She always had to bring Kevin & I into this!
Heather started Oh-ing at me, proving I got burned apparently. Whatever.
* * *
"Selena come here." Sophie patted the desk across from hers.
I groaned and sat across from her.
"What?"
"Come on just admit you like Kevin."
"No!" I hissed.
"Come on!" "No! I've never liked him and I never will!"
You know when people need to listen to their friends when their friends know the guy they like is crazy? I think when I lie about liking Kevin, it's my inner self saying, "Hey, this guy's bad for you. You know all these lies about why you can't ever date him? Why don't you stick to that?"
I wish.
"You can't say you've never liked him at all."
I looked up
"I haven't."
I looked up to see Adri whispering that I was wrong.
I scoffed.
There is a reason I didn't tell this bitch things when we were kids. She had a damn big mouth!
"Yeah remember we were all in Ms. Peal's class in 5th grade and you were like in love."
OH MY GOD SHUT THE HELL UP.
I mean people at school don't need to know how long I've liked him.
It doesn't matter because nothing would ever happen!
"Selena you're wrong if you say you've never liked him."
I groaned at Sophie's constant repeating statement.
"I've always hated him. That's it."
"I mean come on! Even Bella! Bella have you ever liked Kevin at one point in your life?" Sophie asked Bella.
"They went out for like two seconds." I retorted.
"Two days." Bella corrected. "Whatever." I shook my head.
Block out. Block out.
Thank god Sophie is easily distracted and got into her story telling skills.
"Okay so like I wanted to do golf instead of softball so Kevin, Jake, and Jase took me out to the course and were teaching me. So Kevin literally walks up behind me and moves my hips and was showing me how to move and I was like whoa like I almost fainted. I was like 'Dude don't do that' and he was like 'why not?' and it's like 'because you're hot!'."
I ran a hand through my hair. The last thing I want is to hear about Kevin's hands on Sophie when they should be on me...
Wow I am a weird teenager. Then again I'm not a fourteen year old whore so my thoughts are fine.
4-25-14
So I just said a poem I had written in front of +50 people. I think I'm going to pee myself.
The fact Dylan looked really intensely while looking at me while clapping didn't help.
But right now I was standing to the side of Kevin, my hands over his, helping him.
"And you just click this." I tapped his options on his photo. "And zoom."
"Then done." I removed my hands from his.
I showed him how to screenshot his photo from the side to make it smaller that way the whole picture can fit on your screen.
I gave him back his phone and sat down.
I didn't read the picture. And I was scared earlier to scroll through his camera roll because I was afraid I'd find a picture of Avery and die. So I had him do anything involving his pictures.
But you know what bugged me most?
When I had my hands on his a few seconds ago, I felt nothing. Not a spark, nor a tingle.
Just hands. Not even cold hands; cold hands warm heart. Just hands. His hands that I wished would send sparks through my body like they used to.
Maybe my body is over him... just not my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hasn't it been a while my wolves?!
Okay so sorry it's been such a crazy mess I hate high school.
Okay so what do you think of this girlfriend Avery? You know what I didn't mention was that I insta-stalked this chick and she kinda looks like a barbie doll which makes me really damn insecure because Kevin only dates blondes...
Okay beggining of next chapter will get really damn intense (it was today) and omg shit got real man!
Lol omg my birthday is Sunday!! So excited!!
Okay so like school is winding down so only a few more updates :( Honestly I'm not sure if I should make a book for sophmore year so let me know if you want one because I'm really thinking against it and you'll understand why after you read the next chapter!
Okay I gotta go!
I love you guys so much!
Make sure you fan and become apart of the wolf back!
See you guys next week!
Bye(: