2-28-14
So like before, when you start telling Alle something Dylan jumps to her defense.
"You're such a jackass to her." Dylan told me in science.
I scoffed.
"I would like to see you spend one day with her."
"Alle's so nice! Like she's..."
Alle laughed.
Finally after a lot of arguing with Dylan and zoning out, Dylan left.
"You know that was on purpose right?" Alle said.
"What? No it wasn't." I shook my head.
She laughed at me. "Come on Selena. When he was trying to think of why I'm nice he paused." "Hesistated?" "Exactly."
"What?" I ran a hand through my hair.
"It was to make you jealous." Alle stated. I scoffed.
"No."
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes! It was so obvious how could you not notice?! I was just sitting here while you two were babbling. That wasn't about it me it was about you."
Hm... Really? It was just an excuse for Dylan to talk to me?
"Like you know when we're like 7 and boys were mean to get the girl's attention because they liked you?"
"Him-" I pointed to Kevin, "That does not apply." "No. Not at all I'm sorry but he doesn't like you he's just a jerk." Alle shook her head. I agreed. "But he-" She pointed to Dylan, "Does."
That can't be... can it?
* * *
"I'm pissed at him." Bella mumbled after Dylan spoke.
"Why?"
"He did something bad." She answered me.
"Something bad?" Making sure I heard her correctly.
"Yeah I can't say." "But something bad?"
"Yeah." She held up her folder.
It took 3 times for me to hear her.
"He like ate this girl out then never talked to her after." She put the folder down. "and she's one of my good friends so I'm pissed."
I really wondered who it was... I also wondered if I was the only freshman who wasn't sexually active?
I didn't say anything after though. I can see Dylan as the guy to get his head between your legs but I'm still not sure about it yet. I believe it but I also don't.
I'm not sure how to put it.
Later in class I started my web for my research paper.
"Oops." Dylan said, bumping my table.
"You're lucky I wasn't writing." I said. He was pretty close to me.
When I started writing again, he bumped the table, numerous times.
"Dylan!" I hissed.
He chuckled.
"I'm just playing."
"Fool you better stop or Imma hit you." Bella says.
I don't know why Bella talks like that seeing she's super white but it's super annoying.
"Awe that's cute. She acts like she's all bad." Dylan smirks.
I tried my best not to say anything or laugh because I kinda agreed with Dylan.
"Um, Heather read my notecards!" I blurted.
Dylan left the table.
"Let me see." Heather said.
"Oh I was just kidding to get the awkwardness out." I laughed.
"Oh." She giggled along.
Dylan did put Bella in her place and I kind of enjoyed it.
Who would have thought only a year and a half ago those two kissed!
I wonder if Dylan's a good kisser?
3-2-14
You can imagine the shock on my face when I got a snapchat from Kevin.
It was also on his story though, (I checked).
"See look I told- OH THERE SHE IS! See I told you in your face!)" He said as he showed his sister Kail in a JC Penny commerical.
'Not in my face but congrads to her.' I didn't wan't to sound totally rude. It was cool of her to get out of this small town and do something with her life.
'It wasn't meant for you but rasshawn.' He sent back with a picture of him smirking! Can you believe him?! Like screw you too then!
(AN: So like I deleted an emain off my iPod which held my notes from March 2nd till March 17th. So between that time nothing too drastic happened. Just same old picking on. And let us resume on the 17th!)
3-17-14
Kevin sent a picture of the German kid Nikoles and him on snapchat saying good morning. And it wasn't on his story!
So after five minutes of retaking selfies, I said, "Good morning. if thats meant for me"
I did want to give him a sense of regret for what he did with the commercial snapchat.
A few hours later, he snapped me again. Yet again, not on his story.
'OMG I got glasses'
Wow he looks like his dad. And he looked attractive still! HOW?!
'Hahaha now you can't call  me four eyes.'
I recall I believe last year he would constantly call me four eyes.
'When did I ever call you four eyes'
Not surprising. He doesn't remember half the things he did to me. And I told him just that.
'Many times. You probably don't remember.'
And that ladies and gentlemen is when Kevin opened but never replied. Yeah, not even decent enough to say sorry. I would think he was a better person than that. Maybe in person he would have done it? But that's not the point.
3-18-14
Currently getting bitched at by my science teacher was not how I wanted to spend my morning. Not that I would be at school.
"Maybe we should call around for a valivictorian? Because if this is honors you guys have no chance."
Dumbass. One of us had to be it.
I really hope someone tells their psyco mom and the mom gets him fired.
"Shut the f*ck up." I sighed.
I rarely said the f bomb but when I did shit was real.
"Aren't teachers supposed to encourage you?" I mumbled under my breath.
Kevin turned around from in front of me.
"I completely agree."
I nodded slightly. Kevin's new glasses make him seem more humanized from the pedistal I've put him on.
But he's still Kevin. Why is it my hatrid for him can go away in almost no time at all?
Is that what it's like to love a person? I'm not even sure if I love the guy anymore.
You know what also got me thinking?
Teen Wolf.
Now before you roll your eyes and exit out of this chapter, hear me out.
Allison Argent was stabbed. She died, in the arms of her first love. She paid so little attention to the fact she's dying and on the fact that her best friend was okay and that Scott knew she loved him. She said she didn't even mind dying because she was in the arms of her first love. The only boy she'll ever love. She loves him and always will.
Now here's how that relates to me.
If I was stabbed and I was dying in Kevin's arms; I don't know I just can't see it. I can't see him saving me. I can't see him crying over my dying body, kissing my forehead making sure I'm at peace. I don't picture me telling him how much I care for him and that's it's okay to die in his arms. In a way I guess I can think it's okay but it's mostly not.
So it really questions my theory. Do I really love this guy? I know in this series I've asked that a lot but I mean it. Am I really in love with Kevin Brooks?
3-19-14
Internally groaning, I looked at the full computer lab. Not a computer in sight to start the final draft of my research paper.
I sighed realizing that I was not going to get any work done in class today.
"Selena,"
I turned to Dylan. Dylan has been MIA lately because he's in baseball and on top of that is gone every other day.
He motioned me to take his seat.
"Thanks." I smiled.
As soon as I sat, Austin looked at me. "Dylan's sitting there."
"And he gave his seat to me." I'll bet anything he did that because he's not even ready to type the rough draft.
"Oh. Kenna." Austin did what Dylan did to me and gave Kenna his seat.
"Nice try Dylan. Selena and Jace in the library I trust you two."
No need to tell me twice.
3-20-14
What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Since this was only personal finance, I went wild with ideas.
Magcon tickets. Concert tickets. A truck. A house. TONS of mascara. Guitars. College.
"Which collage?" My teacher asked me.
I had  no idea. There was so many things I had to plan.
I was planning on moving into an apartment somewhere between here and Pennsylvania. Not just me though, Sami too.
"I'm uh- not sure." I shrugged.
"University of Alabama." Kevin told me. That's the collage he wanted to go to. Why would he say that?
"University of Oregon." I told her.
Everyone started agreeing that it was a good school.
* Â * Â *
"He gave you a look." Alle told me.
"What kind of look?"
"Like a, 'Seriously?', look." She shrugged.
"Just because I said University of Oregon?"
"Well the look said, 'Seriously you're going to the same collage as Dylan?'"
"Dylan wants to go to Oregon?"
"You're the one who told me!"
I gasped.
I totally forgot.
The snapchats a few weeks ago!
"I forgot about that! So he literally- or basically- wants me to go to his collage but I chose Dylan's. Oh."
I bit my lip.
"They're fighting over you." Audie told me.
"I want to think that but they're just them, they don't show that much interest."
"Still think they are. Sounds like it."
I sighed.
I really wanted to go to Oregon but what if Kevin's subconcious let it slip that he wanted me to go to U of A with him? Or am I looking too much into things?
~~~~~~~
Do you guys think I'm looking too much into things or do you agree with Alle and Audie?
Sorry it's so short I told you I lost like two weeks of notes!