Chapter 13: Trials of Combat

Gasping for air, I wake up back in the weapons room. Jolting up, I check for my legs, then my arm. They’ve all grown back and my right arm is also no longer engulfed in darkness. I grasp my chest, my heart racing, as I try to calm down.

This was not at all what I thought it was going to be! I got fucking dismembered. I almost died!!! Wait, maybe that’s the point. Hildi said I won’t die but that doesn’t mean literally anything else can’t happen to me! Shit, shit, shit, shit.

The thunderous voice appears again, “Congratulations, challenger. You have vanquished your first foe. Only two more to go until you face me, Khopaadeisha, the Skull Lord! Your prize is next to your door.”

Looking at the door, I know what he means by prize… It’s a skull on a stick. Most likely from the Red Cap I fought… Am I a murderer now? No… If anything this was self-defense! That thing fucking dismembered me after all! Although… It’s creepy how calm I am despite this happening right now. I’m not sure if it’s shock, suppressed trauma or me getting used to becoming hurt. Either way, it’s not a good thing. If it’s the first, I’ll be able to feel it soon, if it’s the second, I’ll feel it sometime later and if it’s the latter, I’ll get careless. Either way, I should rest for a bit to settle down. I don’t want to fight and then get a panic attack in the middle of battle. In fact, I really don’t want to fight any more if it’s avoidable and I will never underestimate any opponent again, no matter if it’s a training fight or not. I’m always going for an escape or a kill. It also seems that the skull fucker has made some sort of banquet for me. Smells like Indian food. There are also different exotic fruits and sweets as well as a bottle of blood. I doubt I’m going to want to even be near blood for now, I’m not really hungry either, since I sucked the Red Cap dry. I should definitely train though. I can’t have another disaster like this…

Using one of the fighting dummies, I attempt different methods for getting the mancatcher around the neck, including while I lie on the ground, during a jump or movement. Next, I take the Bola and try to figure out how to throw it effectively. It takes me a while just to figure out how to throw it properly. I don’t really have everything down to a ‘T’ but it’s a little better after practicing. As for the dagger, I just attempt a few different stabbing motions, as well as methods to take it out of the sheath quickly from different positions. It must have been at least two hours of training before I decide to take on the next room. I wonder what I should ask for as a boon this time? Probably leg armor... After the last fight, I don’t think I should go in without.

“Oy, asshole. For my next boon I want leg armor.”

“Light, or heavy armor?”

Hmm… I should probably keep it light to not interfere with my movement.

“Light armor.”

“Granted”

Another pedestal then grows out of the ground, revealing leaf-like boots going up to my thighs. They have a bend in them for my knees to make it possible to crouch without being hindered. Testing them out first, I take my dagger and ram it into the upper part of the boot. It doesn’t pierce, good so it works. When I put them on, it is the same as with the helmet. The boots fit perfectly. Getting ready to enter the next fight, my feet won’t move and my teeth start rattling. I feel weak and unprepared. I’m sure if I still had a bladder, I would piss myself. But there is no going back… I have to do this. Mustering my strength, I step through the door.

“Now challenger, you face your second foe. An Elf, imprisoned for poaching.”

Poachery? That doesn’t sound too bad… It’s better than murder at least. Nope, stop it, Sam! No underestimating. There must be a reason the Elf is here.

On the other side of the door, I find myself in a pine forest. It’s dead silent. Unsure where to go, I go straight ahead, trying to be stealthy. Keeping my eyes fixated on the path before me and the treetops above me, I march on. It takes only a few minutes before I start hearing something. It sounds like whistling. It’s a tune where I’m not sure if it’s creepy in general or just because of the circumstances. It’s like a lullaby or nursery rhyme. Carefully, I walk towards the sound, keeping my eyes ahead and above to make sure it isn’t an ambush. Then, as I get close to the source of the sound, clink, I feel pain in my leg as something bites down on it and a bell tolls. It seems like I stepped into some sort of bear trap. Luckily though, my legs were protected and I only felt pressure, not the fangs.

Unfortunately though, the whistling stops,

umpf, “Aaaaaah, fuck!” And another piercing pain hits my shoulder as I try to escape the bear trap. It seems like an arrow got shot into it. Quickly, I pry open the bear trap and hide behind a tree, hearing another thump, most likely from an arrow lodging inside the tree barely missing me.

“Ok Sam, you know what to do… Just like the Dryads,” I bite my teeth together and push the arrow through my shoulder. I’m in immense pain but luckily after it’s pushed out, that pain fades away as my wound closes.

The whistling then starts again and I hear the Elf wandering around. It’s hard to tell where it is coming from though. It’s almost like it’s coming from all over the- umpf “Aaaaaah fuck!” Another arrow hits me through the shoulder, this time pinning my left arm to the tree. Quickly, I try pulling out the arrow as-, umpf, another arrow pins my right arm to the tree behind me, umpf, umpf, umpf

I scream as three more arrows hit me in my belly.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I try moving my body forward to push it out of the arrows but these arrows are different. They have back hooks in them. The harder I push forward the more they rip into me. I guess this is it.

No! I need to keep fighting, keep pushing!

“Aaaaah” I push myself forward ignoring the arrows ripping into me. Each hook I pass causes more pain and bleeding but I need to push further. Yet the more I push forward the closer the whistling gets. It seems like it’s coming from straight ahead toward me.

Quick Sam, you can get out before it’s here, only two more hooks to go, push, push, push.

It is then that I feel an iron knife resting at my neck from an arm coming from behind me. It burns my flesh just by resting there. If I go any further forward, I might get decapitated.

“Don’t move,” a male voice says from behind the tree.

“What, how did you get behind me when the whistling is coming from ahead!?” As I ask this, the whistling comes closer and a small spectral bird lands on my head and whistles.

“A generational trick to disorient your enemies using my little Familiar. Works almost every time. Now, who are you and why are you here?”

“My name is Sam, I got kicked into a fighting pit and told to subdue you.”

“That’s not what I meant. Why are you here? What crime did you commit?”

“I didn’t commit any crime.”

A young beautiful man then comes out from behind the tree, with his knife still resting at my neck. He has long flowing blonde hair, green eyes and silky green clothing. He looks like a pretty boy male model with pointy ears. He then takes my druid necklace in his hand and asks, “Did you steal this?” Before unwrapping it revealing the symbol, “A runaway slave, huh? That explains why you’re here,” he then looks me up and down before getting a disturbed look on his face.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

“Your arms… You’re an infant? Who put you here and why?”

“I’m here to figure out what weapon fits me best, then I was forced to fight a Red Cap murderer.”

“You fought a Red Cap and won?”

“Barely.”

“Hmm… Look. We’re here to subdue each other, not murder each other. How about this? You drag your hand out, take your dagger and hold it up my neck. We essentially subdue each other and it’s a draw. And if you manage to get freed, you can go to the Edwin Forest in the Spring Court. Tell them that Johannes Altdorf sent you and you’ll get shelter. Deal?”

I don’t think this is a trick, it seems only positive for me.

“Sure,” Different colors envelop us, the same as when Hildi made that promise to me.

“It doesn’t seem they can hear us, otherwise they would have intervened right now. Perfect, now play along, scream and turn.”

He then starts laughing, unbuckles his pants and starts kissing my neck. Grossed out and because I was instructed to, I fight back his advances as much as I can. He then goes up to my ear and whispers into it.

“Good. Now kick me in the shin.” I do so and he falls to the ground, conveniently slipping on the arrow that was holding my arm down and loosening it. I take this as my sign and take my dagger out pointing it at his neck while he holds his knife at my throat.

At least a minute passes without either of us moving until the thunderous voice bellows disappointedly, “Tsk, Seems like it’s a draw. Your crimes are forgiven now Elf… I’ll loosen your chains,” There is a snapping sound, as chains I was unable to see before, fall off of the Elf. He then puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles very loudly, prompting the spectral bird on my head to fly towards him and grow to the size of an elephant. Its form goes from cute, to majestic and menacing. The Elf then jumps on it and flies away as a door appears next to me. It takes me a bit to push myself through the last bits of the arrows but once I do, I run through the door again, landing in the weapons room with even more food now as the skull dude's voice yells at me again, “Congratulations, challenger. You have survived your second foe. Only one more to go until you face me, Khopaadeisha, the Skull Lord!”

Fuck. I totally lost this fight. I had no chance. If this trend continues, then the third fight will be truly unbeatable… I think I need a different boon this time. I already have the most important bits covered up, so a wound would probably be good. Although… Would a wound have actually helped me in the other fights? Maybe in the first one, the wound might have slowed him down… Or it could have just angered it more and taken me more seriously, which would have been bad. As for the second ‘fight’, as long as that wound didn’t break both of his arms, I probably wouldn’t have won either. Also, I’m pretty sure if I choose a wound, they know I’m coming, ruining the only element I know how to use, the element of surprise. So I should probably go for the information…

But what to ask? One thing that kept fucking me over were traps, so I should probably ask if there are any traps as my first question… Though that wouldn’t really help me either, since I wouldn’t know what or where they are. Maybe I should ask, ‘Where are the traps in the next room located from the perspective of the place where I enter?’ That way if he said there are none, I’d know I wouldn’t have to be as careful. And if there were any, I’d know what to look out for. As for the second question though… Probably, ‘Who am I facing?’ or ‘What can my opponent do?’ But then he’d probably just say something like, ‘It’s a Shmurgle-Murgleling, they specialize in ice magic,’ and I still wouldn’t know much more than I did before. So maybe a better question would be what is their weak point? So, if it's an armored enemy, I’d know where to hit em. Yeah, I think that’s good. As for the last question… Probably something like, ‘What do I need to do to surprise them?’ or ‘What do I need to do to not get noticed?’ But that still leaves me open to danger… I’d like to reduce the amount of danger I’m in as much as possible… Wait! I got it!

“Skeleton boy! My next boon is knowledge.”

“A wise choice challenger, what do you ask of me?”

“Number one, where are the traps in the next room located from the perspective of the place where I enter the room?”

“There are no traps.”

Damn, well at least I know.

“Number two. What is my opponent’s weak point?”

“Her eye.”

“Wait whic-,“ I stop myself before finishing the question.

That was close. I almost asked my third question on accident.

“Ehem. Number three, how long till my enemy enters deep sleep?”

“Hmm…” There is a bit of a pause before another pedestal comes out of the ground with a sand clock, “When the sand is all at the bottom.”

Carefully, I watch the sand clock slowly drizzle down. It’s not very regular though, in fact sometimes it just stops for no reason before drizzling down again. This is definitely not a normal sand clock. Minutes and perhaps even hours pass as I lose track of time watching the hourglass. There is still about half of the sand left at the top part when suddenly all of it slides down at once. “Now challenger, you face your last foe. A Fachan, imprisoned for pact breaking.”

This sudden announcement makes me jolt up and run through the door, coming out in some sort of cave on the other side. There is snoring coming from my right. The cave seems to be illuminated by bioluminescent mushrooms guiding me toward the snoring. The louder it gets, the slower I walk. It doesn’t take long before I get to see my opponent. A weird ogre-like person, with only one eye, one leg, one arm and one boob. She has two ears though, surprisingly. She looks like a bowling pin, a gorilla, and a cyclops had a baby together, both in form and in muscle mass. The Fachan is lying on her back on a bed of mushrooms, her arm holding onto a heavy looking wooden club. That thing could probably break all my bones by weight alone.

Looking around for anything on the ground or ceiling that could make a noise, just in case, I slowly walk towards it. Every snore, every shift in movement makes me scared for my life. As I now stand directly next to it, I can see that the skin seems extremely thick and leathery. I definitely have to go for the eye and hope the eyelids aren’t cut resistant. Slowly, I place the mancatcher’s opening above her neck without touching her as the iron would most likely burn her and wake her up. I then take my dagger into my right hand and prepare to strike with both the mancatcher and dagger at the same time. I take one last breath and BAM the dagger slices through her eyeball while my man catcher encloses around her neck. She screams in pain, slapping me off her body into a wall, crack. I managed to keep hold of my man catcher though. She then jumps up onto her one leg disorientedly screaming and banging her club against the cave walls, causing the entire cave to destabilize with stalactites falling off the ceiling. As I try to stand up, I notice I can’t feel my legs. Or anything bellow my belly button. Fuck! She must have broken my spine with that swing.

Bleeding, she jumps around before sniffing for a second and then looking towards me.

“You’re going to go down with me!” she screams, running towards me.

Unable to run, I put all my strength into pressing the mancatcher against her neck as she tries moving toward me. I can see the spikes entering her neck, making her bleed before instantly cauterizing the wound as the spikes burn her flesh. Right now, we’re in a battle of endurance. Will my arms break first from the pressure of her pushing into me or will she die from her wounds first? She screams once more and runs at me with all the life she has left in her, disregarding her own mortal wounds. I’m unable to hold back against her for long.

My hands slipping, the end of the pole of the mancatcher slides closer and closer to me, piercing my belly. I’m starting to bleed but luckily, I don’t feel a thing thanks to being paralyzed. As she pushes further, we both scream our last battle cry. The pole has now pierced completely through my body as I feel myself being pushed towards her away from the wall.

Come on, come on. Just a little longer, I just need to last a li-.

My thoughts get interrupted as I hear one loud sigh. The Fachan, seemingly breathing its last, falls to the ground and with her, the ceiling starts to fall as well as the stone starts to crumble and the door opens next to me. But I can’t quite reach it, I first need to un-impale myself. Fuck! Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! I need to pull the pole out of me and crawl through the door before I get buried.

As I try pulling the pole out, more and more chunks of stone start raining down. The chunks are getting bigger and bigger but I manage to pull it out and start crawling toward the door. When, bam, one of the stones hits my shoulder and breaks it.

It doesn’t matter Sammy, whether one shoulder or two you can make it.

Getting closer and closer to the door, more stones hit me, slowing me down and breaking more bones. Right before I get to the door there is one last rumble. It seems like the whole ceiling is going to come down any second. It’ll be a full-on cave-in.

No matter, I can do this. I just need to push o-.

“AAAAAAAh!” A huge boulder lands on the last part of my back I can still feel.

I… I can’t move… I… Can’t breathe… I can’t breathe! My lungs are crushed. No! NO! I was so close…so clo–. I think as things go dark.