"We just meant to ask Mister Gnash if he needs something but he got mad. We have no idea what we could have done."
Hearing them lie woke me up and I told the truth:
"They were insulting me openly and wouldn't apologize when I asked."
The maids shook their heads:
"We didn't mean any disrespect. We just called him Mister Gnash but he said we should call him Duke now."
I screamed:
"That's a lie!"
I turned to Payne to explain but seeing the disinterest on his face was more insulting than the maids:
"You are no Duke, Mister Gnash. Stop trying to get what isn't yours."
And just like that, they left. I was left behind, flabbergasted. I didn't even hear the maids laughing and just stood there. I had no idea how long I spent there but Adaranth stayed by my side and even rubbed my back:
"I am sorry, Master... I should have hit those maids."
I quickly shook my head:
"No... It's okay."
It wasn't okay at all but what could I say? This feeling of powerlessness was very familiar but it didn't hit me immediately. It tried forgetting about it, continuing to make excuses for the Grimsbane family:
"Our family's have been enemy's for centuries. No wonder that they don't trust me yet.
-But, Master... They didn't even listen to you. And those maids..."
I shook my head again and Adaranth stopped talking.
"Let's just go back to my room."
Being left alone a lot, I wandered around the mansion and started listening to the whispers in the corridors. I did hear the maids talking about stealing one of Essence's necklaces but when I went up to her to tell her, she first didn't believe me and then accused me of being the thief:
"I didn't!"
She motioned for me to stay silent.
"I don't care what kind of life you led in the Marquis mansion. You can't steal here. If I catch you once again, there will be consequences."
I just left feeling that same feeling in my chest. I didn't even have time to digest it because the very next day I stumbled across a very secret conversation.
I was used to listening because of my own family and I was very good at making myself small. No wonder they didn't hear me as they were talking about murdering Quistis. I didn't budge and continued listening to understand their plan.
They were rather stupid to discuss it in such detail in an empty corridor but for their defense, that corridor was always deserted and they were minutes away from putting their plan into motion. They must have felt that nothing could stop them at that point.
I didn't understand who had sent them but it was obvious that they were working for someone bigger and that person sounded very powerful. The plan was that they would take Quistis as she was playing outside and take her as far away as possible from the mansion. Then, the maid would make her eat a poisoned cake and leave her there. They thought that Quistis wouldn't be found for hours and when she did, it would be too late and they would be far away already.
Having realized that I didn't have a lot of time and not knowing the mansion enough, I rushed to Payne. He was the first person I could think of. After all, being the Duke, he could order all the knights to find the maid and that would be way more effective than me running around blindly. It sounded like the best thing to do and I ran to his study.
The knights in front of his door didn't seem happy to see me. I was used to it by that point and stated what I wanted:
"I need to talk to the Duke. it's very important."
The knights scoffed and I could slowly feel my anger rise. Their laugh was very similar to the maids and I just couldn't stop hearing it in my head.
"He is busy.
-I really have to see him right now."
I tried walking past them but immediately got stopped:
"Where do you think you are going?
-Let me go! I have to talk to the Dule!"
I struggled with all my might and the knights pushed me back. I fell backwards and hit my elbow on the ground. I didn't feel the pain immediately and continued pleading that I really needed to talk to him. I must have made a ruckus because Payne finally let me in. He looked very annoyed at my sight. I didn't care and quickly explained what I had witnessed.
At that point, it was my third time seeing Payne ever. He had been rude to me the first and didn't believe me the second but I obviously thought that he would jump up and save his sister. After all, why would I lie about Quistis being in danger? And even if I did lie, would he risk it?
My expectations were far from the truth. Payne didn't even look up and seeing him do so made me slow down more and more. Once completely silent, Payne finally talked:
"Are you done?
-What?
-If that will be all, you can leave now. Don't disturb me during my work next time.
-I don't think you understood. Your sister's life is in danger!
-I heard you.
-Then why aren't you doing anything? She's in danger!
-And why should I believe you?
-What do you mean?
-Lying wouldn't be the first time for people of your sort."
I was flabbergasted. I should have been used to it at that point but I was just surprised. Who could be so stupid?
"Seriously? Why would I lie about this? You have to believe me! Quistis is in danger! Are you going to risk her life?"
No matter how long I pleaded, Payne didn't listen and only looked more and more annoyed.
"Fuck you!"
Payne finally looked up and he looked angry but I didn't care. Feeling that I was running out of time, I decided to go save her myself. I turned around and ran out of his study. On my way out, I ran into Essence and grabbed her dress:
"Madame! I am so glad you are here! You have to help me!"
Essence had the same exact reaction as her son and only shook me off her as if I was a dirty bug:
"Mister Gnash. Your birth is no excuse for such behavior."
I had no idea what to say at that point:
"Your granddaughter will die.
-Are you threatening my family right now?
-I am trying to save her! Please trust me just this once.
-I won't repeat it twice. If you dare hurt my grandchildren, I am going to make you regret coming here.
-I already regret it!
-Then just leave."
And just like that, Essence walked away, leaving me speechless. By that time it was the third time that they didn't trust me. I could have been nice, I wasn't a saint. At first I didn't care because I had to admit that our family's history was bad enough to turn a blind eye to it. I started realizing that this could never go away no matter what I did. And what if they did start to trust me? Would I be able to trust them?
I pushed that bad feeling away and focused on saving Quistis for the moment. I ran outside and spent long minutes running around the garden. My throat closed up and I kept repeating in my head:
"Be alive, be alive, be alive."
I thought that it was too late. I started hating me for going to Payne first. I should have acted immediately. Why the hell would I go to someone else? I was so stupid. She died because of me. Just as I was seeing the girl dead in my head, I heard a tiny voice on my right:
"I am not hungry.
-Come on, darling. You love strawberry cake.
-I don't want to! Let me go!"