ALEXANDER
Nighttime brought a certain solace.
It was a time when he could handle sensitive issues with less scrutiny. He found himself leaning against the shed door, his gaze fixed on the radiant moon hanging high above. ~Damn it~. This was the last thing he wanted to do.
It was one thing to tear those bastards to pieces. But doing the same to members of his own pack was a different story.
His internal struggle didnât mean he wouldnât follow through.
He was seething with anger towards Lina for her actions. He had envisioned a life with Olivia. Their children. But it was all a mirage, a deceitful illusion she had crafted.
Alex always did what was necessaryâno exceptions.
Even if it upset others, even if Olivia disapproved.
Being the alpha meant wielding power, but it also came with a hefty burden of responsibilities.
Some had accused him of losing his better judgment when it came to Olivia. He couldnât afford to let such rumors spread, nor could he allow them to be true.
Every decision he made had to be for the benefit and safety of the entire packânot just his mate.
He often found himself alone at night, pondering. Was he choosing this extreme path because of what they had stolen from him, from Olivia?
No. He considered all the alternatives. Each one would eventually come back to haunt them. Once trust was broken, there wasnât much leftâ¦
âGlad Iâm not in your shoes.â
Jason looked at him, hands buried in his pockets, head slightly tilted. âYou okay?â
Alex shrugged. âBeen here before.â
Jason laughed softly, shaking his head. âDoesnât make it any easier.â
They came to him.
For protection, for assistance, for security. He never wanted anyone to feel they couldnât trust him. He couldnât show fear; he couldnât let his doubts cloud his judgment. But Jasonâ¦he was different.
He had been by his side for so long. He was the only one who ever told him things he didnât want to hear. Sometimes they were nonsense, sometimes they were truths. At least he was straightforward and honest. He could count on him.
âYou think Iâm making the right decision?â
Jason pursed his lips before taking a step forward. He remained silent until he was next to him, leaning against the shed just like him.
âYeah,â he finally said.
âShe was just protecting her family.â
âWe were supposed to be her family too,â Jason pointed out.
That was exactly his point.
âShe might betray us any time her human family is in danger,â Alex added.
Jason nodded. âAnd we canât just get rid of one half of the couple.â
No, because then resentment would grow. Maybe he would want revenge. Maybe he would want to take from Alex what he had taken from him.
He would never put Olivia or ~any~ pack member in such danger.
âAnd if I let them go?â
âCould come back to bite us.â
Alex let out a sigh, his chest sinking. âAnd the others?â
âWeâre all behind you, you know that.â
He nodded, his tongue pressing against his teeth. âKeep watch?â
âAlways.â
It was necessary.
Alex just hoped this would end this dark chapter and they could move forward.
He wanted the pack to be more than this turmoil, this death, and betrayal. It wasnât always like this. He had built a peaceful life for them here.
He might have been the one to disrupt things when he failed to properly eliminate the enemy, but he wouldnât let it happen again. He would give them, Olivia, and their future family the best life he could.
He had a purpose now, and he had to keep moving.
Regardless of the cost.
~***~
OLIVIA
~In command~.
Olivia gazed at the vast emptiness before her, the wind whistling through the trees, the sun just touching the horizon, casting a soft glow over the clearing.
In the back of her mind, she could sense Alex.
But he was honoring her request; he was staying put.
She knew it might seem reckless; venturing out alone. But she wouldnât go far.
And she knew there were plenty of pack members nearby. Alex would always be watching. She wanted to do this; she needed to do this.
During the assault, sheâd summoned her wolf for the first time. That is, without the influence of a full moon.
Sheâd spent countless hours suppressing it, denying it, locking it awayâsheâd even questioned her ability to summon it.
But, her wolf answered her call. And saved her.
Now, she needed to find harmony with it.
After years of internal conflict, she didnât want to exist as two separate entities. Olivia yearned to be more than her former human self and the wolf, a beast. She needed to merge these two aspects of herself. Permanently.
She needed to be simply Olivia.
It was a harsh twist of fate that led her here. She might have chosen a different path. She might have wished it hadnât happened, but it did. This was her reality now.
There was no turning back and she was exhausted from resisting it. Tired of trying to be something she wasnât and denying her true nature.
Always taking one step forward, only to take two steps back.
No more.
The last time, her transformation was driven by sheer desperation. For her own life, Alexâs life, and the life of herâ¦~baby~. This time was more challenging. Could she communicate with it as she did with herself?
Her wolf had communicated before, but aside from pleading with it, Olivia had never attempted to converse.
~Iâm sorry~.
Were these the right words? Did they even matter? Would it understand?
The last time, it was saving more than just her; it was saving itself too. The instinct to survive was more powerful than anything else.
~I want to do better~.
~I want to be better.~
She didnât know how.
She would need assistance and guidance to navigate this new trust-your-instincts journey. Especially since her human instincts wereâ¦well, they were crap. As had been proven time and time again.
~Okay~. ~I know youâre angry with me~.
How could her wolf not be? Sheâd punished it and neglected it for actions it wasnât responsible for, then summoned it in a moment of desperation. Not before. She would be upset too.
~Iâm sorry. ~She apologized again.
Twice wouldnât be enough. But it was her best effort.
~I want to be different.~
Olivia took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air, and expanding her rib cage.
Then, when she couldnât inhale any more air, she dropped to her knees and placed her palms flat on the ground.
~I want to be you. I want to know you~.
But she didnât know where to start, how to begin.
It felt so strange to willingly embrace who she could be.
~Please~. ~I wonât do it again. I wonât lock you away.~
It was more than that actually. She would never again lock away her wolf. She would also never lock away herself.
No more chains, no more limitations.
She couldnât prevent herself from making mistakes, from learning, but she could stop harming herself. Olivia the human was no more.
And she didnât want to be that. She wanted to grow stronger. Next time, she didnât want to be so vulnerable.
She wanted to fight, she wanted to protect herself, and her pack.
She wanted to detect threats faster, she wanted to understand people quicker. Her wolf had sensed something was off with Lina by her scent, but Olivia had never connected the dots.
By the time sheâd recognized the truth, it was far too late.
~Never again.~
That was when she felt it.
The shortening of her limbs, the lengthening of her face.
Her bones were shifting, reshaping themselves, but it didnât cause any pain. Instead, her chest felt lighter, her body felt quicker, and smaller.
She grunted, she gasped as she convulsed on the grass, her body morphing into a completely new form.
Sheâd never realized her fur was so dense, so thick, her teeth so large, her mouth so elongated.
Her mind was numbed, forgetting what was irrelevant. Focusing on what was right, on what should be.
The wind felt different. Her surroundings were filled with scents and sensations sheâd never experienced as a human.
Everything was brighter, sweeter, and louder. Sheâd thought the heightened sensations last time were due to the fight, but no. Life was more vibrant as a wolf.
She sprinted through the fields, feeling the plants tickling her fur, the sweet scent of morning dew filling her nostrils, making her yearn for a river.
She wanted to plunge into the water, feel its chill, feel it soaking her fur.
Olivia wanted more of ~everything~.
She pounced, she leaped, she hopped. One leap over a tree trunk, one high jump to see how far she could reach.
Sometimes, it felt like she wasnât herself, like it wasnât her body to control, while other times, it felt like sheâd always been in this form.
Except for that horrific night, she didnât have any memories of her transformation. Then, sheâd experienced pain and suffering.
Freedom surged through her, and she was hit with the realization that her past pain and trauma were tied to the chains of her transformation.
She found herself longing to remember that night with Alex, under the full moon.
This could have always been hers. She could have always felt this way. But she hadnât.
Olivia noticed a small forest nearby, flowers in full bloom. The scent was intoxicating, drawing her in. She sprinted towards it, diving headfirst into the field of vibrant flowers.
Her movements sent pollen scattering, causing her to sneeze and shattering the quiet around her.
~Be careful.~
Olivia froze, her ears perked, straining to hear. ~Careful of what~?
A threat? An enemy? A friend? Or herself?
She dug her front paws into the earth, her claws slipping in the mud. The recent rain had softened the ground.
~To your left.~
She turned her head, her snout leading the way, scanning through the branches. The leaves rustled in the wind, the branches creaking under their own weight, butâthere. Among the small white flowers were yellow eyes.
Another wolf.
She leaned forward, ready to run, but she held her ground.
And so did the other wolf.
It moved towards herâfirst one step, then another. It maintained a safe distance.
She could see the tip of its snout, and then it tilted its head, studying her. No teeth were bared; its body wasnât tense.
It wasnât there to attack her.
Perhaps it was just observing.
The last strangers she had encountered had come for herâto harm her.
What was she to make of this one?
She took a step forward, hoping to get closer without being reckless, but that thought quickly evaporated. As the leaves beneath her paws crunched loudly, the other wolf took off.
It left nothing behind but trembling branches and a few fallen leaves.
Olivia was stunned. Had she scared it off? It had known she was there before she did. Was it because she had gotten too close?
Part of her wanted to chase after it. To learn more. To experience this new thrill of the chase.
But she couldnât stay. She had already gotten herself into enough trouble. She didnât need to tempt fate again.
She had to learn.
Though it bothered her, she turned around, heading back to the safety of the packhouse. She could do this again. She could be in this form again.
Because for the first time, there wasnât a weight on her chest, a crippling sensation holding her down.
Instead of feeling divided, she felt unified.
She felt complete.