OLIVIA
~Warm. Safe.~
Thatâs what she felt as she woke up.
Alexâs arms were around her, pulling her close to his chest, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. His breathing was even; he was still asleep.
Her sleep had been anything but peaceful.
Before he held her like this, she had been restless, unable to find the tranquility of sleep. Everything replayed in her mind, and the anger clung to her like a second skin. She couldnât shake it off.
Olivia had been suspicious of Lina for a while. She felt strange around her, but it wasnât enough. Then she had trusted her; she had believed her excuses. She had allowed herself to be deceived by a half-truth.
Lina could have done more to protect her and the pack, but she didnât.
Now everything was a mess. Her life, what she thought she had, what remained of the packâ¦
Will turned out to be the liar he had claimed to be.
Lina proved that humans could be as monstrous as others believed. Anyone could be mistaken, anyone could be wicked.
Olivia had already accepted that her previous view of the world was distorted. But she didnât think she had been wrong about the pack.
No, she hadnât been. She had been wrong about Lina. They all had been wrong about her. But she wasnât sure what would happen to herâshe was someoneâs mate.
Someone from the pack. Was he involved in this? Did he know?
âStop worrying.â
His breath on her bare skin startled her and she tensed. âW-what?â
âYouâre worrying. Stop.â
âAlex, Iâm okay. Iâm not losing the baby.â
âYou still lost something.â His hand moved up to her stomach, resting flat against it. âYou can be sad.â
âI know. But I donât want to be.â
There was no sadness in her heart, nothing weighing her down. She was tired of the lies, tired of the manipulation, tired of someone else dictating her life and her destiny. She wanted to control her own life.
âYouâre angry.â
âYeah.â
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, pulling his hand from her waist. He could have stopped her, but he didnât.
Once he let go of her, she turned to lie on her back, staring at the ceiling. âWhy arenât you mad?â
âI am.â
But it wasnât the same. His life hadnât been upended like hers.
âItâs like nothing is real.â
He raised an eyebrow before propping himself up on his elbow, resting his hand in his palm. âLivy, what are you saying?â
âWe gotâwe ~really~ got together during my heat. Do you know who controlled that? Lina.
âDo you know who kept me from you initially? Willâwell, his lies. Do you know what brought us closer? The baby. The ~non-existent~ baby.
âWeâre just pawns, puppets in someone elseâs game. Itâs not fair.â
âNo one controlled me.â
âFine. ~I~ was a puppet.â
âWhether that bitch interfered or notâyou would have gone into heat.â
âBut I wanted ~my~ body to do it. Not ~himânot~ her~.â~
âLivy, it happened and nothing can change it.â
âWhy are you so calm?â
He didnât lose his temper; he had control over his emotions, but now it seemed like he wasnât showing any. ~Nothing~. Was he angry? Was he sad? She couldnât tell.
There was no way that after everything that had happened, he wasnât feeling ~anything~. There had to be something.
âIâm not.â
âYou seem calm.â
âThe bastards got what they deserved. I got to do it. Now itâs her turn. I donât need to sit here upset. I donât need to wallow.
âSomething was done, and Iâll fix it. You should try it. Instead of wasting your energy being upset, Livy, do something about it.â
~Lina~.
She knew what he did to the remaining members of the other pack. She ~knew~. Even now, after he had washed himself several times, she could smell the blood that had soaked into his skin.
The feeling wouldnât fade. It was going to stick with him for a while.
Was this what he intended for Lina?
She had quarreled with him, even battled him. She had barred him from their bedroom, all because she believed the pack deserved another shot.
But now?
She was drained. She had tried to give, tried to trust, but it had backfired repeatedly. It had shattered her world, her perception of reality.
What if she misplaced her trust once more? What would be the cost this time?
Alex? Maya?
She couldnât risk it.
If she thought about it rationally, Alexâs only choice was to do ~that~ to Lina. He couldnât send her back to the human world, not after everything she had learned.
She figured werewolves wouldnât appreciate humans knowing their secrets and then setting them free to spill the beans. Especially since Lina knew their location.
And then there was her mate.
If they sent her away, he would follow. If they didnât return to the human world, would they roam the forest? Would they join another pack? Would they harbor resentment?
It was clear that Lina couldnât be trusted.
Would they betray them, would they assault them like the other pack had? This time, it could be far worse. Two individuals who knew the ins and outs of their home?
They might not survive.
They would always be on edge, always vigilant. That was no way to live. There might not be a child now, but there would ~hopefully~ be one in the future.
This was the reality. If they wanted a peaceful life... would it cost two people their existence?
âIs thereâcanât there beâanother way?â
He chuckled, bending down to cradle her face. âYou gotta let go, Livy.â His thumb gently stroked her cheek.
âI donât take pleasure in killing one of my own.â His eyes hardened, his jaw tightened.
âI didnât want any of this. I should have made sure that bastard was dead. Thatâs on me. I should have buried him myself. I should have smashed his fucking skull. Then none of this would have happened.
â~I failed~.â
No. She couldnât let him bear this burden alone. âI didnât listen. I went back. If I hadnât, he wouldnât have known anything. He might not have followedâ¦â
Alex shifted, forcing her onto her back as he hovered above her, his hands on either side of her head. âYou gotta stop. It wonât make sense. It wonât be fair. Itâs done, itâs over.â
He lowered his head, his nose brushing against her neck. âIt is what it is, Livy. You canât rationalize everything. You canât save everyone.â
She had tried to resist the way things were at every turn, but it hadnât helped, and it hadnât altered the outcome. They still ended up here. This was still her reality.
And it ~wasnât~ all terrible.
Perhaps she needed to stop resisting the way things were. Maybe there was a limit to what she could change. But death? Death was so absolute. And what kind of world was it if everyone always had to die and no one could be trusted?
Was that the kind of world she wanted for herself? For him? For their children?
Maybe she couldnât change this, but perhaps there was something that could be done for the future, but she didnât know enough to know what that could be.
Alex surprised her by pressing his lips to her warm skin, causing her to arch her back as she leaned into him.
This was different. This time, they werenât influenced by her heat or his anger or thirst for blood.
Feeling his touch while she had full control of her body, her desires, her instincts. It didnât lessen the sensations. His fingertips tracing her left side sent shivers down to her toes.
Her lips parted, and she waited, holding her breath. His mouth lingered near hers, and she yearned for him, his touch. She wanted this, she needed this.
To lose herself in him, to erase the bad memories that left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Every time she thought she had figured out her place in the pack, her place in this new world, she had to admit she was wrong.
She was done trying to find a purpose. Done clinging to notions of right and wrong. She wanted to be free. She wanted to start fresh.
No more human rules and limitations.
Her wolf had heard her plea in her most desperate moment, and it had come to her aid. Maybe, if she trusted it, the wolf within would reveal itself and help guide her on this journey.
Alexâs lips met hers with a force that yanked her back to the present, and she surrendered to his touch. He was insistent, demanding her full attention, her entire being.
In the past, her mind had been foggy, but now it was crystal clear. His was too. He wasnât bloodied; he wasnât returning from a kill.
It was just them. Only them.
A warmth spread within her as his calloused hands explored her legs. All she craved was him. His mouth was on her, consuming her as if she was his only source of life.
His fiery lips left damp trails on every reachable inch of her skin. She melted into him. Each touch, each sensation felt like a fresh discovery.
This was her, all of her, consciously absorbing every one of his caresses.
His arousal pressed against her inner thigh, applying pressure, teasing her. He was grinding against her while pinning one of her wrists down, stopping her from encircling his neck with her arms.
She yearned for more, she yearned for lessâshe yearned for everything. She took a deep breath and tilted her head back, offering more of herself to his gaze.
Olivia wouldnât deny herself anything. Sheâd lost too much already.
This felt right. He felt right.
He always had. Even when she resisted him, even when she tried to slam on the brakes.
He was hers. And she was his.
Even when they disagreed, even when she felt he didnât understand. He tried to shield her.
He was patient. He was loving. He was everything she should have had from the start.
He saw her in a way she had never seen herself.
His boxers werenât doing much to dull the sensations, especially since she was wearing nothing more than underwear and his oversized t-shirt.
As Alex lowered his mouth, sneaking one hand down to lift her shirt, she held her breath. His moist lips enveloped one of her nipples, hardening it instantly.
Her lower lip began to tremble, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping him close to her body. She couldnât help but grind into him as he lavished attention on her hardened nipple.
~So close~.
His fingers trailed down, slipping beneath the elastic of her underwear, and then he pulled them down slowly. She lifted her hips, allowing him to slide it past her core, leaving her exposed and soaked.
She held her breath, fighting the urge to grind into him again.
She craved the friction.
Alex slipped her underwear off her foot, and then, it was discarded.
She didnât know who moved first, but before she could take her next breath, their bodies were pressed against each other again, leaving her more frustrated than anything else. There was still a barrier.
She moistened her dry lips while wrapping her legs around his waist. Her foot kept slipping off, pulling his boxers down a bit. He chuckled against her lips, sending a shiver down her spine.
Olivia felt the loss of warmth when he removed a hand from her skin, but thenâ¦
He was bare. Completely bare.
She felt his arousal pressing against her inner thigh as he moved himself up, and her heart skipped a beat.
~Yes~.
His touch, his skin. Her mind was empty, focused solely on him, on their closeness. She forgot about the attacks, Lina, the rival pack. The blood. The death.
None of it mattered.
She didnât have to think about it. Because she had gained more than she had lost. She had ~him~.
Olivia let her body relax; she let Alex take control. She couldnât dwell on this anymore; she didnât want it to consume her life.
Sheâd wasted so much time battling over things she shouldnât have, so much time trying to change things that were unchangeable.
She understood now.
Alex did everything he could ~for her~. For the ~pack~.
She might not be able to accept all of the actions that had to be taken. She probably could never be the executioner. Actually, she knew she couldnât. But she could support him. He had been there from the start.
Even when she pushed him, even when she fought him.
âMaybe I should help you focus.â
Alex nibbled on her earlobe, tugging at it, pulling her out of her thoughts.
Without warning, without taking it slow, he thrust into her, stealing her breath away. Her teeth bit into her lower lip as her toes curled. He filled her completely in one stroke, drawing a moan from her lips.
Olivia dug her fingernails into the bare skin of his shoulders, drawing blood.
It wasnât their usual position, but it felt ~right~.
He slowed his thrusts, torturing her as he nearly pulled out, leaving nothing but the tip in, and then drove himself back inside. And she moaned.
His name? Sounds? She couldnât tell.
She was certain of one thing: she was being too loud. She knew sheâd cringe later when sheâd have to face the people in the hallway, but she couldnât help it. Sheâd deal with it later.
He was pushing her boundaries, going deeper than she thought she could bear.
Olivia attempted to wrap her legs around his waist, securing him in place. This way, he couldnât tease her as much as he wanted.
His body tensed, his movements slowing as if he didnât appreciate her taking control.
She realized this when he firmly grasped her legs and slid his hands down to her ankles.
He used this grip to extend her legs before pushing them downward. He kept pushing, stretching her to her limit as her legs nearly reached her face.
Now, he was back in control.
He controlled her legs; he controlled her body. The new position of her legs gave him a new depth and he fully exploited it, pushing in as far as she could handle.
She couldnât moan; she couldnât find her voice to make a sound.
All she could do was listen to the sound of his skin against hers, feel the sweat trickling between her breasts, sliding down to her navel.
She arched her back, tossing her head back into the soft pillow beneath her.
She wanted to slam her legs back downward, she wanted to squeeze his waist with her legs, and his prevention of that was frustrating.
She was compelled to move her hands to his stomach, laying them flat against it.
A shiver ran through her, rumbling through her thighs, making her entire body tremble. ~So close~.
She did her best to use his grip on her feet to pull him closer to her. It seemed that the few tugs were enough for him to get the hint.
Alex lowered himself, and she lifted her head, pressing her flushed cheek to his.
Her lips were parted, her breaths nothing more than desperate exhales of air. ~More. Less.~ She couldnât decide.
âFaster.â
His eyelids fluttered open and she saw him smirk through her half-closed eyes.
His pace quickened, slamming into her, her thighs smacking against his chest. Toes were scratching at his back, desperate pleas were pouring from her lips.
~More, more, more~.
He was rough, and she got louder with every thrust of his hips.
Then it happened. She trembled around him, her whole body shaking, and even if he had wanted to pull out, he wouldnât have been able to; she had a firm grip on him.
It wasnât until her body relaxed that he managed a few more strokes before he too unraveled. His hot release filled her, making her tighten, and her name became a moan on his lips.
Heâd collapsed on top of her, but he was still inside her. ~He couldnât pull out~. Much like before, he was stuck inside her. But this time, it wasnât strange; it didnât make her panic. It was comforting.
~Together~.
She wasnât alone.
She wouldnât be alone from now on.
Whether it was Alex. Or her wolf.
Her face was sweaty and sticky as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her heated face into his chest.
She was enveloped by the rhythm of his heart, his scent, and his warmth. She had almost lost him. She had tried to avoid him for so long, thinking a pack and an alpha meant a life of confinement.
She had been mistaken. So mistakenâabout everything.
She was free.
Freer than she had ever been.
It was there, in her chest. Words she wanted to say, words she didnât know she felt until now. Maybe she did.
Maybe deep down, she knew all along, but until now, she hadnât been able to voice them. It was overflowing from her, bringing tears to her eyes. She couldnât hold it in.
A few tears escaped and she knew it would be enough to worry Alex. She had to speak before he voiced his concerns. Finding her voice, however, wasnât as easy as she thought it would be. It should be.
The words had been there for a long time. She just needed to say them out loud.
âAlex?â
He bent his neck, kissing the top of her head. âYeah?â
One beat. Two beats.
âI love you.â
She heard him chuckle, the sound vibrating and tickling her.
âI love your stubborn ass too, Livy.â
~And her heart soared. And her wolf howled within her.~