Chapter 71: The Price of Survival

OLIVIA

~Carnage.~

That was the only word Olivia could use to describe the scene that was once their bedroom.

There was no other way to depict the bloodbath that had tainted everything. It was surreal to think that she had been in the room for part of it. Most of this hadn’t happened in her presence.

The window remained broken, a makeshift patchwork of tape and plastic serving as a temporary fix. The walls, the floor, even the comforter—all were splattered with a chilling shade of red.

She hadn’t arrived in time to witness the lifeless bodies that had spilled all that blood, but she had seen the black bags. Too many black bags being carried out.

Either there were numerous attackers, or they hadn’t remained whole after Alex had finished with them.

She didn’t ask, but she had a gut feeling; he had torn them to shreds.

That was the only way to justify the ~overwhelming amount of fucking blood~. Alex himself had been drenched in it.

A part of her understood ~why~ she had been sent away.

She was a liability; she couldn’t fight as well as they could, and she had zero control over her transformation. She got that.

But now, as she knelt amidst the aftermath, scrubbing away the blood from what used to be their safe haven, she felt a surge of ~rage~.

It was as if a wave of heat washed over her, her skin slick with sweat, her pulse racing uncontrollably.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that the best thing for her was to be sidelined. She didn’t want that.

Olivia wasn’t privy to the pack’s life before she joined, but she could infer that no one had ever targeted the pack for ~this~ reason. If she was the root of the problem, she wanted to be part of the solution.

For years, she had believed that her condition was a curse, that she had no choice but to accept her fate. That belief had led her to trust the wrong person; it had cast a dark shadow over her life.

Now that she was free from that, she yearned for a fresh start. She wanted more; she wanted to contribute more, be more.

She couldn’t afford to be reckless.

She knew that if she bit off more than she could chew, she would cause more harm than good.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t learn.

They all knew how to transform. Perhaps she could do the same.

She had rejected that part of herself for so long—maybe her wolf resented her. Maybe it wanted her to pay for all those years of confinement, of being chained up. But they were one and the same. Wouldn’t it want to survive?

Wouldn’t it want her to be safe so that ~it~ could ~be~ safe? It was perplexing, but for now, she couldn’t dwell on that.

Instead, she focused on her immediate task: cleaning the room.

Sadly, she hadn’t made as much progress as she had hoped. She hadn’t anticipated it would look like this; she hadn’t thought it would trigger memories of ~that night~. Was this what Alex had dealt with after she had attacked Will?

Was this the mess he had to clean up? As she scrubbed the floor, the dried blood stains barely fading, she struggled to hold back the sobs threatening to escape.

She didn’t want to think of ~him~.

She didn’t want to dwell on everything he had stolen from her. How he had abandoned her. This was ~why~ she needed to improve—she wanted to be better. She wanted to break the cycle.

It wasn’t as if Will had been domineering or demanding from the start. He hadn’t badmouthed alphas from day one. He hadn’t spun lies about packs the moment they met.

No, he had been subtle.

Gradually, he had woven tales of sorrow and pain. How could she not have empathized with him? He had lost his parents to a cruel alpha, and she’d been turned against her will. They had both suffered losses.

Naturally, he could understand. Naturally, she could trust him and share his pain.

But it had all been a web of lies.

Little by little, she had let her guard down, she had let him take control.

It took this break in the cycle, this glimpse of a different life, for her to see all the breadcrumbs she had followed. A trail that led to her almost killing him. And now he ~was~ gone.

He and his toxic influence were gone.

Alex wouldn’t do that, she was certain. But just as Will had exploited her pain and misery, she was Alex’s weak spot. They’d come for her and he would be put in danger.

She didn’t understand how this worked, she didn’t know if it was always this intense. Would packs always attack them because she was an omega, or was there more to it?

Shouldn’t she learn to defend herself?

That way, she could reduce his vulnerability and she could help protect him too.

She’d been a bystander for so long, and now that she’d escaped the cycle of abuse, she wanted to heal, grow stronger, improve.

She didn’t want to allow anyone—stranger or otherwise—the opportunity to dominate her in any way.

Olivia was determined to regain control in any way she could. The right way. The healthy way.

“Livy?”

At the sound of Alex’s voice, she paused in her scrubbing. He didn’t sound mad. He didn’t sound happy either. Maybe surprised?

“What are you doing in here?”

She’d heard that question before.

Maya hadn’t thought it was a good idea either, but Olivia hadn’t cared. After a brief warning from her friend, she’d proceeded into the room anyway.

Thankfully, Alex hadn’t been there to see her initial reaction, or he might not agree to her upcoming proposition. Now, she appeared more composed. ~Kind of~.

Composed enough that her emotions shouldn’t spill over.

“I’m cleaning.”

She heard his footsteps approaching, and she made sure to maintain her firm stance.

She had a hunch that he wasn’t done questioning her.

“Why?”

“I’ve already treated everyone.” That’s how she knew that not all the blood came from their pack.

They had wounds, but nothing too serious and nothing she couldn’t handle.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He wasn’t close enough to touch her, but she could sense his presence right behind her.

Was he intentionally maintaining distance? “It’s our room. It’s dirty. I’m cleaning it.”

Warm, slender fingers encircled her wrist, stopping her scrubbing.

At first, she tried to pull away, but when it was clear he wasn’t letting go, she stopped resisting. “Yes?”

He lowered his head, finally allowing her to glance at him from the corner of her eye.

“Why are you cleaning, Livy?”

“I told you, it’s our room.”

“We’re not going to sleep here.”

“I know, but the window won’t be broken forever.”

This was their room. She’d moved her things in here.

The nest—no, the closet was here. This was temporary. They’d repair it and then it would be theirs again. That was all there was to it. She had already lost several homes. She didn’t want to lose another.

He sighed, his fingers relaxing as he let go of her. “Even when we fix the window. We’re not coming back in here. Not until this mess is over.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “They knew where we slept. We’ll need to be more cautious.”

She pursed her lips. “So, if we’re less accessible, will they attack others to reach us?”

Because that would mean more people getting hurt because of her. She didn’t want that.

She didn’t want others to be a shield for her safety, for her protection.

“No one’s going to get hurt.”

“No one. Really?”

“What do you want me to say, Livy?”

“I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to help me learn, I want to be able to protect myself too.”

She sighed. “I understand, you pushed me away, I couldn’t have done much. But I don’t want it to be like that forever.

“I don’t want to always need someone to protect me. For so long, I believed that was the only way. I let someone else dictate what was best for me.

“I let him tell me what I should do, what I should think, how to be a wolf—or not to be, really.”

Olivia blinked, trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes.

She could tell he was about to argue, but she wasn’t going to let him. “I know you’re not him. I’m not saying you are.” She’d made mistakes in the past. She had misjudged him.

She didn’t want to repeat that. “I’m just saying I’m done with not being in control. I know I can’t take on a whole pack by myself. I don’t want to solve this alone, but I want to be part of the solution.”

She pivoted, aligning her gaze with his. His furrowed brow was a clear sign he was digesting her words, and not all of them sat well with him.

His lips were pressed together, his jaw muscle twitching, and she found herself holding her breath.

Life had thrown her many curveballs. She’d learned to roll with the punches. She was a changed woman.

She had the full moon nights. A mate. The heats. There were many things she couldn’t alter or resist... but this? This was within her control.

“One condition.”

Of all the responses she’d anticipated, this wasn’t one of them. In fact, she’d steeled herself for a rejection. His response left her so stunned that she found herself staring at him, mouth agape. Was it really that simple?

He wasn’t going to dismiss her, claim he knew better? ~Get it together, Liv. You need to respond.~ “Okay... what’s the—uh—condition?”

“Take the blood test I suggested.”

It wasn’t that she was opposed to blood tests.

She had just assumed it was unnecessary. She ~knew~ her issues were tied to her heats and all the other bizarre occurrences in their lives.

She didn’t see the need—and a part of her was scared of what they might discover. He assured her it was safe and they trusted the person, but what if it fell into the wrong hands? Could they lose it? And what if it triggered something?

She was still in the dark about the whole debacle with Will’s blood and her blood in her apartment.

Moreover, she’d been feeling better lately, so she didn’t see the need for that unnecessary exposure and risk.

“Alex…”

“Agree to it, and I’ll assist you.” He tilted his head slightly. “Actually, it’s more like two conditions.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Two?”

“You’re never alone. You’re either with me or with Jason.”

“Alex!”

It almost surprised her that this condition wasn’t his first demand. She wasn’t naive.

She had noticed people keeping a closer watch on her, and there was no doubt who had given that order.

“I’ll reconsider if you agree to my first condition and improve your self-defense skills.”

~Damn him~.

He was manipulating her and he was succeeding. But was it so wrong to agree if she was also getting what she wanted? She didn’t want a constant guardian, someone always monitoring her.

Sure, Alex was her mate, but when he acted like that he was Alex-the-guardian, not Alex-her-mate. However, if she could turn that time into something beneficial for her…

“When you say self-defense?”

“I mean in this form, and mastering your other form.”

The opportunity was right there, waiting for her to seize it. She could do it. She could agree. “And then, you’ll let me assist?”

“If you take the blood test and allow one of us to accompany you for your safety.”

A small part of her felt like she might regret this later, but then again, the risks were minimal, right?

She extended her hand towards him. “Okay.”

“Really, Livy? We’re going to seal it with a handshake?”

“Yes. Deal?”

A smirk played on his lips as he shook her hand. “Deal.”

Suddenly, his grip tightened, and she found herself pulled against his chest. “That’s not how I seal a deal though.”

She swallowed hard, her head instinctively tilting back.

Her cheeks were already flushed, and her body was warming up from their closeness. The other night was the first time they’d been intimate without the heat hanging over them.

It had been different, but she’d felt more like herself, more in control—closer to him.

Olivia offered no resistance as he leaned down, capturing her lips with his.

She pressed her body against his, seeking more contact. Unfortunately, he pulled away before she could touch him further.

“Patience,” he teased, tapping her nose. “Now, let’s go. We need to find you a new place.”

“And then?”

“Yes, Livy. I’ll train you.”

A smile tugged at Olivia’s lips as she slipped her hand into his, letting him lead them to their new sleeping quarters.

She knew the sooner they tackled it, the quicker they could progress to the part that truly intrigued her.

The feeling was a wild mix of fear and excitement.

She realized it was time to confront the remaining ghosts haunting her soul.