Chapter 45: The Balance of Power

OLIVIA

~Slam~!

Her heart pounded, icy shivers trickling down her spine, pooling at the small of her back, as she held the door shut with her hands.

She knew why he was here. Of course, she did. How could she not?

Her body was ~screaming out~ for him. She was throbbing with need, her legs trembling in anticipation. She should be letting him in. He was going to come in.

Yet, there she was, keeping him out.

~Let him.~

Let him.

“Livy?” His voice was strained. There was no anger, no resentment. Just pain and need.

Her body yearned for him and instincts had made him invade her thoughts for days.

But she could barely distinguish reality from everything else. They’d shared a bed most nights, he’d offered her help, space, support while she tried to come to terms with her new reality. But beyond that?

Had she grown close to Alex in a way her old self would have? Probably not. Did she mind? No, she didn’t.

But what was about to happen now? It would blur the lines. She couldn’t bring herself to care about it.

“I-I need a minute.”

“What’s the matter?”

The knock of his knuckles against the wooden door echoed in her ears, her heart pounding in response.

“What’s going to happen?”

“When?”

“After…after ~this~.”

A dull thud reached her ears, likely his forehead meeting the door. She pressed her heated body against the door, as if it could bring them closer. Her hand trembled, yearning to turn the knob and let him in.

~He’ll help. He’ll make it better~.

“What do you want to happen, Olivia?”

Nothing. She didn’t want anything. Except him. She craved his touch. She longed for his kiss. ~Please, now~. She shook her head.

Pull yourself together, Olivia, just for a moment. You need a moment.

“I’m—I don’t understand,” she managed to say, her voice shaking. “I want everything.”

Everything had spiraled out of control in the past few weeks.

Between Will’s betrayal, the necessity to abandon her life…a life she doubted she could return to given the chaos and the bloody mess she left behind…

Then there was the full moon and since then, it felt like her wolf was in control. Now, this? Her body was yearning for him, every inch of her skin ached for his touch. She was losing her mind.

“You—you need to—let me in. Talk to me.”

The door handle jiggled and she knew what was next. Instinctively, she retreated from the door, watching with wide eyes as it swung open.

He stood there, towering over her, making her feel both insignificant and protected simultaneously. She took a deep breath, her nostrils quivering as she filled her lungs with air.

“If—if I asked you…” Her heart pounded so hard it made her feel sick, and she wasn’t sure she could finish her sentence. Deep breath. “If I asked you to leave, would you?”

Every fiber of her being was screaming at her. She couldn’t ask him that. She ~wouldn’t~ ask him that.

His jaw tightened as his lips pulled into a thin line. “Yes.”

She could see—hell, she could ~feel~ how difficult it was for him to respond, but he did anyway. She remembered when she tried to leave the first time. He kept her grounded, but he didn’t ~force~ her to stay. She ran away.

He could have chased her, but he didn’t. He wasn’t like ~him~. If she told him to leave, he would. Even if it would tear him apart inside.

Even now, he could force the door open. He was stronger than her. But he was choosing not to.

~He wasn’t a monster~. He could make a rational decision.

Even when she couldn’t.

Her body craved him, and that was the only thing that made sense to her.

“What do you want, Livy?”

He took a step towards her, and her entire body vibrated with anticipation. ~Yes, yes. Closer~.

One hand slid up her neck. His palm was warm as his fingers traced a path to the back of her neck.

His other hand rested on her waist, and she cursed the fabric that separated his fingers from her skin. “I’ve been waiting for ~you~. For you to say what you want.”

He was speaking. He was definitely saying ~words~.

But her mind wasn’t processing any of them. His hands were on her. He was here. She was in his arms. Yes, yes. It seemed like he was waiting for a response, so she nodded, oblivious to what she was agreeing to in that moment.

It didn’t matter. He was here. She clung to his arms, her fingers digging into his biceps, trying to pull him closer than he already was. His embrace was safe.

“Is the nest ready, Livy?”

His warm breath brushed against her collarbone, and she nodded, tilting her head back. Yes. Yes. She had fixed it. Over and over. He was going to see it. ~Oh~. What if it was too small? Messy? He might not like it.

“Show me.”

But she couldn’t tear herself away from him. She couldn’t let go. She buried her face in his hair, breathing in his sweet scent and letting it soothe her.

When she didn’t move, she felt him pull away from her.

His hand took hers, leading her towards the closet. All she could hear was the rush of her blood and the pounding of her heart.

As she looked ahead, everything that wasn’t him blurred into the background, like tunnel vision.

Alex.

The door groaned as it swung open, and he strode in confidently, leading her by the hand.

Once they were both inside, he spun around, flicked on the light, and shut the door behind them.

Her heartbeat slowed as the confined space of the room hit her, making her feel ~caged~. There was no escape. No one would come.

It was just her and Alex. She could concentrate on Alex.

She clutched her arm, her fingers leaving imprints on her skin as she waited for him to break the silence.

~Does he hate it? He’s not saying anything. We messed up. Oh no, oh no~.

Her heart pounded, her stomach churned, and she held her belly as guilt swelled in her chest, making each heartbeat a stab of pain.

When his fingers traced a path down her arm, her body shivered. “You did this for us?”

Olivia had expected him to say ~me~ but he didn’t. He said ~us~. The pressure of her heart pounding against her rib cage made her feel faint. Her throat tightened. Her tongue felt like a dry sponge in her mouth and all she could do was nod.

He leaned in, his lips grazing her earlobe, his teeth gently nipping at it. “Thank you, Livy.”

Relief flooded her, the tension draining from her body. ~He liked it. He liked our nest.~

His large hands enveloped her, pulling her against him. Without hesitation, she raised her own hands and placed them flat on his chest. ~Hard and warm~.

Her body tightened and she could feel the moisture soaking her underwear. It had been so long. And he smelled so divine.

He kissed the throbbing vein in her neck. “Was Maya correct?”

She tilted her head back, feeling her hair stick to the sweaty skin on the back of her neck. “A-about?”

“No one has been with you in a long time?”

“Y-yes.”

“Do you want ~me~ to be with you?”

~Oh God yes~.

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. Her desire was overpowering. The only other time she could remember feeling this way was when she had curled up into a ball, unable to endure her first heat. This was it.