Chapter 42: Nesting Instincts Awakened

OLIVIA

“Liv, sweetheart, what are you up to?”

Maya’s voice caught her off guard, causing her to jump and inadvertently drop the pile of pillows and blankets she was holding.

She quickly fell to her knees, her heart pounding as she scrambled to pick them up. ~No, no, no.~ She couldn’t afford to lose them. They were necessary.

She wasn’t exactly sure why, but she knew she needed them.

She began by collecting pillows and blankets from her own room, but soon realized it wasn’t enough. So, she took some from Alex’s room too. That should be sufficient. It had to be. There must be more, right?

She could find more. She had to. She would.

When she looked up, she found herself staring into Maya’s concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Yes, I just—need to gather these.”

Maya studied her, making her feel uncomfortably exposed.

After a moment, Maya nodded. “Okay. Let me help.”

“NO!”

Her own outburst startled them both.

Damn. “I can do it. Alone.” If Maya touched them, they would smell like her. They couldn’t smell like her.

~Oh God.~ She was losing it. She was either sleep-deprived or…her mind was finally breaking under the weight of what happened with Will. There had to be a rational explanation for her spiraling into insanity.

“Alright.”

Maya backed away, her eyes never leaving Olivia. “And—what are you planning to do with the blankets?”

“I need space,” she blurted out, scrambling to her feet.

“Space? You have your own room.”

“No.”

Maya pursed her lips.

“Okay. How about Alex’s room?”

“It’s too large.”

“Too large? Alright, what size are we talking about? A bathroom?”

She shook her head. Bathrooms had windows and hard surfaces and they weren’t cozy.

“Not a bathroom. Okay, how about a cleaning closet?”

“It’s too small.” She had seen it in the hallway. She had tried, but she could barely fit. It wouldn’t work.

“Too small for—” Maya paused. “Oh.”

Why did she look like she understood? How could she understand? Olivia didn’t even understand what was happening. Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt them trickle down her cheeks.

She had never experienced this before.

Even when she had come to terms with what had happened to her after the attack—no. This was different.

The more she searched for whatever it was she needed, the more the sense of dread in her stomach intensified. Until it felt like a heavy stone weighing her down.

“Have you—has this ever happened to you before?”

“What do you mean?”

Had she ever had a breakdown before? Yes. Probably. Many times. Maya was making even less sense than she was.

Maya smiled at her, gently taking her arm. “You know, I think Alex has a walk-in closet. It’s big enough to fit ~him~.”

A walk-in closet. Maybe? “Okay.”

Maya guided her forward, her hand on her back. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes.” ~No~. She didn’t know what was wrong. She didn’t understand why she needed to do this.

Why she felt so vulnerable.

She needed to find a safe place to hide, a place where she could control access. The hallway was definitely not that place.

When they reached Alex’s room and Maya shut the door behind them, she felt her breathing ease. This was better. Less exposed.

“It’s the door next to the dresser.”

She had seen it before, but Alex had never opened it and she hadn’t snooped around. She had assumed it was a regular, cramped closet.

She was pleasantly surprised when she opened the door to find a spacious walk-in closet.

The walls were lined with drawers, and the clothes were neatly arranged. It was extra padding. It was warm and secure.

Without a second thought, she dropped the blankets and pillows onto the floor and sank to her knees.

“Is this okay?” Maya asked, lingering at the entrance but not stepping inside.

She nodded. “Yes.”

Now she just needed to arrange these properly and…

~Why~? Why had she done that? She massaged her temples, sensing the onset of a throbbing headache. She was caught in a tug-of-war between instinct and reason.

She’d never experienced such a compelling need to ~act~ before.

It was akin to the urge to shift during a full moon. It was beyond her control; she had to act.

It didn’t help that every other thought was invaded by Alex.

~She needed to straighten the blankets~.

No, she didn’t.

She had a bed. Why would she sleep on the floor?

Was she having a mental breakdown?

She’d been through a lot lately. Perhaps she’d hit her breaking point, maybe she was going mad. PTSD? No. Something else.

“Maya?”

“Yes?”

“Am I going crazy?”

Maya sighed, thumping her forehead against the doorframe. “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

“Done what?”

Maya motioned towards the heap on the floor. “Something like this? What’s your usual routine before your heat?”

She scrunched her eyebrows. “Um, nothing?”

“You’ve always carried on as usual?”

She shrugged. “As I’ve mentioned, I don’t recall the first few times clearly…but…the subsequent ones?

“I’m not sure. Will was there for a few of them. Then he wasn’t. Sometimes I’d just stay in bed…it got easier over time.

“When I met Alexander, I was working…during my heat…I could feel it, but it didn’t disrupt my day.” Olivia looked at her, searching for an explanation. “Why?”

“I forgot that omegas do this.”

“Do what?”

“Nesting. You’re nesting, Liv.”

“Nesting?” What the hell? Was she a bird?

Maya rolled her eyes. “You’re creating…a nest. For you…and Alex.”

“Why would I make a nest for us?”

“It’s a safe space for you. Your initial heats sound more like what an omega’s heat should be. You shouldn’t be able to work, that’s for sure. You should be completely consumed and needy. A nest makes you feel secure.

“If you have a mate, it’ll smell like them.” She pointed towards the closet.

“That’s probably why you took his stuff and why you’re comfortable here. His scent is everywhere.”

“B-but I’ve never…” A nest.

She was creating a nest for them…to mate? She’d never had the urge to do anything like this before.

“I don’t know if it’s being close to Alex, letting your wolf out, following your instincts, but whatever you’ve been doing…”

“I’ve been unleashing the part of me I’ve suppressed for years,” she finished, her voice shaky.

“And it’s coming back with a vengeance.”

Olivia leaned against the drawers lining the walls.

“So you’re saying, I’m making a nest because in a few days I’m going to be a mindless, lustful mess desperate for ~him~.”

Maya wrinkled her nose. “~Yeah~.”

Despite the dread settling in her stomach, the urges were potent. Even now, she was battling her own fingers, forcing them to stay still while they yearned to smooth the blanket beneath her.

She wasn’t going to win this fight, was she?

“You okay?”

She nodded. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“I know…this should have happened to you a long time ago, and now…”

The rest was left unsaid.

She wanted to blame Will for this, but she couldn’t place all the blame on him. She was the one who resisted who she was—~what she was~. It was only logical that it would come back to haunt her.

And that time was now. It was okay.

She had fled from Alexander the first time. There had been an element of surprise then. This time, she knew what was coming.

There was no way she’d completely surrender herself to his mercy like a marionette.

Surely…she would maintain ~some~ control.

Right?