Chapter 40: Heat Rising

OLIVIA

It was a weird question to ask.

Too weird.

Right?

But it was Maya. If she asked Maya this, she’d probably have a lot to say about it, but what other choice did she have? She didn’t have anyone else to ask. She certainly wasn’t going to ask ~Alexander~ this. Absolutely not.

It had been two full moons since her last heat. It was never regular, but she knew it was imminent. Last time she had fled from Alexander. There was no escape this time. Would she even want to escape?

She didn’t know. That was part of what made it so scary.

“What do you do during your heats?”

“Why, need some advice?”

Olivia’s cheeks flamed. “NO—that’s… NO. I—I was just wondering if you ~have~ to…you know… Every time you’re in heat… Or is that—an omega thing or—”

Maya shrugged. “I don’t ~have~ to. I ~want~ to, and it’s enjoyable, but I don’t always do it.”

“So, you’ve slept…with pack members.”

Maya’s grin widened, and she leaned in closer. “I haven’t slept with Alex if that’s what you’re wondering,” she replied, nudging her with her elbow.

The thought had crossed her mind at some point. Then she’d thought about it, and she’d concluded that he probably hadn’t. Otherwise, he wouldn’t let them hang out. It would be awkward. It was nice to have the confirmation though.

Whatever Alexander did before her was his business. She had a life before him. Sex. It was only fair.

And yet… “But he has, right? He’s had…you know with—people.”

“Alex isn’t a virgin. But are you certain you’re not one? ~Sweetie~, let’s be adults about this. Sex. We can make it educational if that makes you more comfortable. Has Alex been intimate with other women? Women you ~might~ bump into?”

Olivia covered her face with her hands, mortified.

“Must you phrase it that way?”

“Yes. I must. Because that’s what you’re inquiring about.” Maya gently pulled her hands away from her face. “I’m aware he’s not a virgin. I couldn’t tell you with whom or how many times. But, seriously.

“You have eyes. I have eyes. Do you really think everyone’s resisted the hot alpha? Highly doubtful.”

“Right.”

“The real question is, do you ~truly~ want to know?”

“Not really,” she admitted, nervously fidgeting with her hands.

She was concerned that he might have…experience and expectations that she couldn’t live up to. She wasn’t a virgin either, but she hadn’t exactly been promiscuous. “It’s been a while since the last time…”

“The beta, also known as the jerk who deserved to be castrated?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Was he the only one?”

She nodded again. “I didn’t exactly know many werewolves…”

“Right.” Maya cleared her throat. “May I ask…how?”

Olivia nervously rubbed her forearms. “I was sixteen when I—~when he bit me~,” she corrected herself.

“The first heat was the worst. I was sweating, doubled over in pain… I barely remember half of it. I kept blacking out.” She sighed, dropping her head. “I must have called Wi—~him~ at some point.”

Maya raised an eyebrow. “You think?”

She shrugged. “I was in and out of consciousness, and then suddenly, he was there…”

“In your apartment?”

“No…as in…”

“Sleeping with you?”

She swallowed hard, her stomach churning. She hadn’t really thought about it much. She’d been in so much pain and Will’s presence had somewhat alleviated that.

The need hadn’t been completely satisfied, but she wasn’t crying and suffering anymore.

It had helped. He had told her it was the only way he could help her and that seeing her in pain was unbearable for him.

Moreover, the other times, she’d been the one to reach out to him. And he had helped her.

“That’s messed up.”

“Well—”

“No, that’s seriously messed up. I mean, we’re animals. And ~some people~ can be aggressive but sleeping with an unconscious girl? No. Damn. I wish I knew where he was. I’d castrate him and make him eat his own balls.”

He had been so remorseful the next morning. He was crying and she’d believed him. Just like she had believed everything else he ever told her.

“I’m a complete fool, aren’t I?”

Maya leaned back, sighing deeply. She reached for Olivia’s shoulder, wrapping her arm around her. “Look. Yes, you might have been a bit naive.

“But how were you supposed to know he was lying to you? You found out about werewolves and transformed all at the same time. It was tough. Now you know and now he can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Apparently, I didn’t even realize he was hurting me. I didn’t—I didn’t want to be ~this~. So when…”

“When all werewolves were evil, it was easier?”

She nodded. “Sorry—I know you’re not like that.”

“It’s okay. There are bad humans, there are bad werewolves. Can’t avoid it.”

“I can’t change it though. I can’t undo any of the things I did or believed…” She took a deep breath, her chest heaving.

“I don’t want to think about it—~him~.”

“Good. Let’s move on. And get back to ~your~ vagina and Alex’s ~penis~.”

“Or we could discuss something else.”

“Are you nervous or something?”

“I don’t know how experienced he is…or what his expectations might be…”

Maya dropped to her knees, gently grasping Olivia’s shoulders. “You’re his ~mate~. Even if you just lay there like a starfish, he’d still have a blast.”

“Really?”

“~Well~, if you’re aiming for a ~great~ time, I wouldn’t recommend the starfish approach, but ~yes~. Don’t stress. You can’t mess this up. Whatever you do, he’s going to enjoy it.”

Olivia wasn’t sure if this eased her anxiety or heightened it. Anything? How could that be possible?

Could a connection that intense truly exist? A bond so powerful that two people could never tire of each other?

She’d be dishonest if she claimed she hadn’t been feeling odd lately.

It wasn’t as if something was drawing her to him, but more like her instincts were shouting at her. She found herself thinking less and acting more.

~It was perplexing~.

“Ladies. Is everything okay?”

Both Maya and Olivia turned their gaze to the living room entrance, where Alexander and Jason stood with raised eyebrows. ~Right~. It probably looked like Maya was consoling Olivia about something. ~If only they knew~.

Actually, it was better that they didn’t. ~Starfishing~. Absolutely not.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Maya released Olivia and stood up.

“Alex. You should sleep with Olivia. Poor girl hasn’t been with anyone in two years. The good news is, no matter what you do, she’s going to enjoy it.”

~Oh. My. God~. Her face was so hot, she wondered if steam was rising from her cheeks. ~She didn’t just say that. There’s no way she just said that~.

Her lower lip quivered as she struggled to lift her head. She ~didn’t~ want to see his reaction. Oh God.

She was not prepared for ~that~ conversation.

“I-I’m hungry, I’m gonna go get something to eat.”

She quickly stood up, her lips turning white as she hurried out of the living room, her heart pounding. She knew her heat was imminent and she didn’t need this additional stress.

She’d barely escaped at the hospital. What was going to happen this time? More importantly: what did she want to happen?

Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and the sound of her heart pounding in her ears made her unaware of the footsteps following her. So when a hand closed around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks, she gasped.

She turned around, locking eyes with Alexander as he pulled on her arm.

Olivia didn’t resist and ended up crashing into his chest. The impact knocked the wind out of her, but he didn’t seem affected.

He raised her arm, her wrist resting against his cheek.

“What do you want?”

~Ba-dump.~

She didn’t think hearts actually did that. But hers just did. What—what did she want?

Heat rushed to her face, spreading all the way to her forehead. Her body temperature rose and her mouth went dry.

He laughed and she felt the vibration through her arm. “I meant food, Livy.”

He turned his head, his lips brushing her skin. “You said you were hungry. What do you want to eat?”

~Him~.

OH GOD. It was official; her wolf was a complete pervert.

Well, maybe she wasn’t ~wrong~ exactly.

~But~ she wasn’t about to admit ~that~.

She wasn’t ~even~ hungry. It was just an excuse to escape the living room.

She opened her mouth to tell him she was fine and didn’t need anything, but then she remembered the ~teacher’s~ words. Alphas took care of their packs, their mate. It was in their nature.

They provided.

Refusing his offer—which she had done often—could be seen as an insult. God knows she’d done that enough. She’d painted a false image of him, accused him of things he hadn’t done.

What was a little food when she wasn’t really hungry?

“Hmm—maybe—some fruit?”

“Sit,” he instructed as he let go of her arm.

She nodded and slowly made her way to a stool and sat down.

She watched in silence as he opened the fridge and gathered a few items before returning to the counter. “Listen, I’m going to be a bit busy. I won’t be able to come to bed. I have some things to take care of for the pack.”

Her heart plummeted, and she prayed her face didn’t betray her. Her shoulders sagged, her posture slouching as her chin dipped. “Oh, right. I didn’t realize…all the responsibilities you alphas have.”

She’d just finished a class with the kids that delved into the pack hierarchy and the role of alphas. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the lesson was more for her than the children.

The kids had all contributed, indicating they were already familiar with the material. The duty to provide? That was just the tip of the iceberg.

Alphas had to manage a lot, make countless decisions, and consider other packs. Maintaining discipline and order was a significant part of their role.

She wasn’t sure about the unique abilities of betas or omegas, but they had discussed some of the alphas’ talents…

“Do you use your authoritative voice often?”

Alexander paused, his knife clattering onto the cutting board.

“My authoritative voice?”

~Oh, Liv. You could have worded that better~. “We were discussing alphas.

“And I kind of got that betas and—well, ~omegas~ generally obey an alpha. But sometimes, if someone is stubborn…or upset…or whatever. Alphas have this ~ability~.

“They use a certain voice and there’s no choice but to obey!”

“I haven’t used it on you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“~No~. I meant—” Damn. She needed to think before she spoke. She always seemed to say the wrong thing.

“I didn’t ~think~ I’d ever heard you use it. So, I was wondering if you use it often, or only as a last resort…”

“A good alpha seldom needs to use it. But it has happened.”

“How does it work?” she asked, leaning in. “I guess I don’t understand.”

“Livy, are you asking me to use it on you?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, before biting his lip to suppress a laugh.

It was a ridiculous request, wasn’t it?

But she thought if she experienced it, she’d recognize it if it ever happened again. ~Not~ that Alexander would use it on her, but he wasn’t the only alpha in the world.

She assumed most people had experienced it, but she hadn’t. How would she know if she’d never felt it?

“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “If—if that’s okay.”

He spread his hands on the counter, leaning his large frame towards her, his face just inches from hers. Her instinct was to pull back, but she held her ground, maintaining the intimate proximity.

“Kiss me.”

The command reverberated through her, paralyzing her. It consumed her thoughts until it was all she could think about.

Her breathing became ragged, her heart rate slowed, and before she could form another thought, she leaned in, pressing her lips to his.

A wave of relief washed over her as she tasted him.

Gradually, she regained control of her body. The fog in her mind cleared, allowing her thoughts to flow freely again.

She ~could~ pull away.

But she didn’t.