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Chapter Twenty Eight
My head is about to explode.
All night all I have been thinking about is Hayden, Noah, and my letters. I have potentially three guys that I have serious feelings about, one of which is a cocky player, the other is one of the sweetest guys I know, and the third is absolutely anonymous and head over heels for me.
I've been reading through all of my letters, which proved to be a bad idea because now I'm even more in love with the letters and whoever wrote them. Yet as soon as I finished every letter and was high on a feeling of euphoria, I started to feel guilty about liking Hayden and Noah.
How am I in a love triangle with myself? I'm stuck between Hayden, Noah, and my anonymous lover- and I know that the third should be the one I end up with.
To clear my head of these unforgiving thoughts, I decide to walk Bruce and Angel, even if they don't want to. They're both fast asleep since it's almost midnight, but I want to walk outside and there is no way in hell I'm going out there alone.
"Bruce! Angel!" I whisper shout, nudging them with my toes.
They both groan and roll over just far enough to be out of my reach and I huff. I get out from under my covers and crawl over to them, laying on my stomach next to them. I play with Angel's ears and cause her to blow an annoyed breath from her nose, but she opens her eyes.
"Good girl," I smile, kissing her nose. "Now help me wake up Bruce."
She rolls over and nudges his head with her nose, but he growls and snaps at her. She lays her head down with a whimper.
"Bruce Theodore Holt!" I scold, smacking his butt.
He groans and lifts his head with annoyed eyes, but I continue to glare at him. "Don't you dare growl at your girlfriend." He lays his head back down with a guilty whine and nudges Angel apologetically.
"Good boy," I smile, kissing the top of his head. "Now come on you two, let's go for a walk."
They both give me looks as if to ask "Really? Right now?" but they hop off of my bed nonetheless and let me leash them up and walk outside.
The fresh midnight air hits me in waves and clears my senses, allowing me to let my mind loose and relax from my anxiety-ridden thoughts. I take it all in as Bruce and Angel bound down the steps and onto the sidewalk, their noses to the ground as they smell all the freshly laid markings from the day.
We walk and I take in the serenity of the quiet night. The moon is illuminated against the dark night sky, and the sky is filled with stars.
Everything is quiet, until a large, jacked-up pickup truck comes blaring down the road, going way past the speed limit. His headlights bounce up and down as he speeds down the road, hitting every pothole there is. I can hear his music from here, and it's evident he's under the influence of something as he swerves along the road.
But then he suddenly goes off course and starts driving towards the sidewalk.
Right at me.
It happens in slow motion.
I start to jump out of the way, but before I even move my feet, Bruce comes running towards me and knocks me out of the truck's path.
But he doesn't get out of the way in time.
I watch in absolute horror as the truck slams into Bruce's body, throwing him like a ragdoll across the sidewalk and into a tree ten feet away. His body ricochets off of the tree and then drops limply onto the ground.
The truck swerves back onto the road and drives away, unaware of the crime he just committed.
I stare at Bruce's body in shock- unable to move as I try to wrap my head around what just happened. Then I jump up with Angel hot on my trail, yelling and screaming for help as I run to Bruce's limp and lifeless body. His back left leg is twisted out of sort and blood is seeping from his body, and he's clearly unconscious.
"Bruce," I cry as I put my shaky hands on his body. Tears are falling numbly down my cheeks as Angel whimpers next to his body. "Bruce it's okay," I cry. "You're okay," I try to reassure myself.
"Help! Please help!" I scream into the quiet night, and slowly lights start to turn on inside houses.
"Reagan, sweetheart!" I distantly hear my mom's voice, but I can't look away from Bruce's body. "Oh my god honey you're okay," she breathes, falling to the ground next to me. "What happened?" She asks frantically, her eyes scanning Bruce's mangled body.
I shake my head and try to tell her about the drunk driver and how Bruce saved me from getting hit, but all that I get out are strangled sobs and she pulls me into her body.
"Your dad is pulling his truck around. It's okay sweetheart, he'll be okay," she reassures.
I heave sobs into her shoulder as Angel whines into Bruce's unconscious body, nudging his head with her nose. My dad is by my side in an instant, picking Bruce up with our living room blanket and hoisting him into the backseat of his truck with me and Angel.
We get to the vet a mere five minutes later, so I know my dad was speeding, and he rushes Bruce inside. I bet we are a sight to see. A crying family in our pajamas rushing frantically into the vet. I watch as they take Bruce from my dad's arms and practically sprint into surgery.
I cry and try to run after them, but my dad gently stops me and pulls me into his arms. I struggle against his hold and yell after Bruce. "No I need to see him! I need to be with him!"
"It's going to be okay Pumpkin," dad promises, kissing the top of my head. "Surgery is good, sweetheart. It means he has a chance, they wouldn't take him back there if they didn't think he had a chance," he whispers.
I continue to cry into his chest, my head pounding as tears rack my body.
"Come on pumpkin, sit down," he says gently, walking me towards the seats next to my mom.
She reaches out and takes my hand as I sit down. "What happened sweetheart?" She asks softly.
I shake my head and bite my lip as another round of sobs threaten to take me over. "I-I needed to cl-clear my h-head," I wheeze out, having to stop as my tears take my voice.
I see my parents eyes well up and my mom squeezes my hand, "It's okay honey."
"So I took th-them for a w-walk and the driver came out o-of nowhere!" I cry, throwing my head into her chest as I cry even harder.
She calms me the best she can, trailing her fingers through my hair as I drain myself of tears. Eventually I stop crying and collect myself back into my own seat with my parents still tightly clutching my hands.
They whisper sweet nothings to me, empty promises that Bruce will be okay.
I wish they wouldn't.
All they're doing is giving me false hope. They didn't see the driver hit him. They didn't see his body fly into the tree. They didn't see him hit the ground, already unconscious of the world around him.
My mind is whirling with different memories of Bruce and me. Memories that are haunting me and taunting me.
The first day I saw him on our class field trip and that instant connection I felt to him. The day we took him home from the vet and he was so cautious that he wouldn't even go up the front porch steps without patrolling the entire yard. The first time company came over and he wouldn't let my grandma even come close to me as he was 'protecting me.' All the times he's been able to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
I need him to be okay.
"Reagan!"
I hear my name coming from the entrance to the vet, and I snap my eyes to see Logan and Chloe running inside.
My parents let go of my hands as I stand up in surprise and Logan and Chloe pull me into their arms.
"Reagan I'm so sorry," Chloe breathes.
I had my tears controlled before, but they start falling all over again as my two best friends hold me.
"It's going to be okay, Reagan," Logan tries.
I nod into the hug and hold them tighter, "Thanks for coming guys," I manage to get out.
We all pull apart and they give me soft smiles.
"We would have come no matter what, Reagan." Chloe whispers.
"We're always here for you," Logan adds, ruffling up my hair.
I try to smile at him, but I fall short and I look away. They sigh and walk towards my parents to make sure they're okay too.
"Reagan!"
I hear my name being called yet again from the entrance to the vet, this time from a familiar, deep and calming voice, and I whirl around. I instantly make eye contact with a pair of distressed blue eyes- eyes that I could never misplace.
Next thing I know, Hayden runs inside and scoops me up into his arms.
He clutches my waist with one arm and the other cradles my head, his muscles tense as he holds me. I throw my arms around his shoulders and bury my face in his neck as another round of tears takes over my body.
"Thank god you're okay," he breathes shakily. "Logan called me and said that you were at the hospital. He didn't bother to say it was Bruce who was hurt or that you were actually at the vet." He forces out, his voice shaky. "I thought something happened to you, Cupcake."
I choke out a laugh and clutch tighter to him, burying my head further into his neck as I cry. He tries to hold my shaking body steady, but I can't stop crying.
He waits until I calm down to loosen his grip on me. He lifts his hand to my cheeks and with the pad of his thumb he gently wipes away a few excess tears.
"What happened?" He asks softly.
I explain how I brought Bruce and Angel outside to go on a walk and how the drunk driver came out of nowhere and how Bruce lunged in front of me to save me, taking the force full-on. I never had time to even go home or change or anything it all happened so fast.
He tries to smile lightheartedly, "That explains the cute pajamas, then."
I look down at my outfit and let out a desperate sounding laugh, but it was still a laugh nonetheless.
Then, I hear my name from the entrance yet again and I turn just in time to see Noah walking towards me with worry etched into his features.
"Reagan, what happened?" He asks, pulling me into his arms. He rubs my back comfortingly as he holds me, and when we pull back he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Chloe texted me saying you were here, what happened?"
I close my eyes as tears start to form and dive back into the story I just want to forget. I sit down, and like a pack of hungry wolves, Noah and Hayden sit down pointedly on both sides of me.
The one night I go out to clear my head of these two, and I end up stuck in the vet with the both of them comforting me. I don't know if I should hate the universe for this or if I should swell with pride that they two of them came here for me.
Angel sees that I've settled down and hops down from my dad's lap to jump into mine. I bite back a sob as she buries her nose into my neck and I hold her in my lap, petting down her back as I try to control my uneven breathing.
"Hey Angel," Hayden says quietly, reaching over and petting her head.
She lifts her head from where it was nuzzled under me and reaches over to lick his hand, and I smile tiredly at him.
"Thanks for coming," I say genuinely, to both him and Noah.
Hayden smiles softly back, "I would have come no matter what, Cupcake."
Noah pipes up from the other side of me, his smooth voice almost cutting Hayden off. "Me too, Reagan. My mom wants me home, but there was no way I wasn't going to be here for you."
I smile gratefully at him, "Thank you Noah. It means a lot."
I hear Hayden blow an excessive amount of air from his nose, and I glance over to see his lips in a tight line. But when I offer him a small smile, his features relax and he winks reassuringly at me.
"What's the word on Bruce?" He asks.
"I don't know. They took him into surgery about an hour ago, I've just been trying not to cry," I force myself to chuckle. "You see how that's been going."
Hayden chuckles for my sake, but I can hear how forced it is. Noah reaches out and takes my hand in a short and soft embrace.
"You can cry all you want, Reagan." He says.
I nod, "I know, Noah. I just don't want to anymore," I sigh, looking down at Angel. She's too big to be on my lap, but she always finds a way. "I want this night to be over, but something tells me it has just started."
Noah frowns, "Why?"
I look at him incredulously and I feel my tears burning the back of my throat. "Why? Noah my dog is fighting for his life in there all because I wanted to go for a damn walk!" I cry, my chin starting to quiver. "Had I not forced them to go outside with me or had I moved out of the way in time..."
"Cupcake don't do that to yourself," Hayden commands gently.
"It's not your fault," Noah reassures.
I shake my head and bite my lip to avoid more tears. I try to swallow them down before talking again. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what's gonna happen to Bruce. I'm scared they're gonna come out here and say that no matter how hard they tried, he just didn't make it."
I feel a comforting hand intertwine with my own and I look at Noah. He's giving me one of his dashing smiles, only it doesn't reach his eyes and something about it isn't nearly as cheerful.
"He'll be okay."
He takes his hand out of mine and I sigh, laying my head back against the wall.
What if he isn't okay? I can't help but be scared, terrified, lost.
Shaking my head, I glance up at Hayden. Even though it's almost one in the morning, he somehow looks amazing. He has slight bags under his eyes, but all they do is accentuate how blue they are. His hair is a beautiful mess, and his pajama shirt is a size too tight. He has cute Disney slippers on- I assume Elliot got them for him for a birthday or something.
"How is Elliot? Did you tell him what was going on?" I ask, a small smile forcing its way onto my face as I think about him.
He shakes his head and barely holds back a yawn, "No, little guy was asleep. I didn't want to wake him."
I glance at Noah and take in his attire. For one in the morning, he looks surprisingly good. He's wearing khakis and a button down shirt, his hair is still nicely styled and there's not a wrinkle in his clothes.
I furrow my brow, did he get dressed up just to come to the vet?
A yawn overtakes my whole body and I fight to keep my eyes open; crying really takes it out of you. I hear a deep chuckle and loll my head to the side to see Hayden smiling softly.
"Go to sleep Cupcake, I-"
"I'll wake you when the vet comes out," Noah finishes for him.
Either I saw Noah send a smirk to Hayden, or I'm so tired that my dreams are taking over reality. All I know is that the moment they gave me the okay to fall asleep, it was lights out for me.
---
"Reagan, wake up."
I'm lightly jostled awake, a light voice cooing me out of my dream.
I blink my eyes open and look around, confused about where I am. Then everything comes rushing back and I remember the drunk driver, Bruce's body, Logan and Chloe, Hayden, Noah.
As I lift my head from my pillow, I quickly learn that it wasn't a pillow I was laying on- it was Hayden's shoulder. I blush and pull away from him and look on my other side to see Noah, but he's not there. Instead, Angel is snuggled up in his chair.
I furrow my brow and look at Hayden, and he answers me before I even ask.
He smirks, "Remember when he said his mom wanted him home?"
I squint my eyes as I try to remember and nod.
Hayden chuckles, "He wasn't kidding. She came here and practically dragged him out. And as soon as he was gone, you snuggled up to me all nice and cozy," he says smugly.
I roll my eyes at him and he chuckles quietly. "How are you feeling?"
I sigh, "I have a massive headache."
He frowns and brushes some hair away from my forehead, his touch causing sweet relief from my throbbing headache. He places his hand back down by his side and I reach out to take it, turning his palm up so that I can slide my fingers into his.
"You didn't have to stay."
"I told you I wasn't going to leave."
I glance up at him and smile softly. "Thank you."
I stare at him for a few moments longer, getting lost in his eyes. Something about the way he looks at me makes my heart thud harder. Something about the way he touches me makes my skin light up. Something about the way he laughs makes my insides melt and my stomach do flips.
He tilts his head slightly and smiles, "Why are you looking at me like that, Cupcake?"
I snap out of my daze and am saved from answering when I hear a professional voice call out my father's name. Suddenly my earlier fears come rushing back. My heart starts to hurt as I imagine what the vet is going to say, and my head begins to pound with the endless nightmares.
He could be here to tell me that I'm never going to see Bruce again. He could be here to tell me it's time to come back and pay my respects. He could be here to tell me that as much as Bruce is a fighter, he couldn't fight his way out of this one.
The vet walks towards my dad. "Mr. Holt? You're-" he pauses and looks over his clipboard,"-Bruce's owner?"
I quickly stand up and walk over to my parents, Hayden's hand dropping from mine. Logan and Chloe show up by my side, and Hayden is there a mere second later.
My dad nods and clears his throat. "That's me."
The vet looks at all of us and smiles slightly. "It was a long surgery. I'm surprised Bruce even had a fighting chance at all," he admits.
I hold my breath as the vet talks, feeling my fear start to get the best of me. Hayden notices and reaches his hand out for my own, his pinkie looping through mine before intertwining the rest of our fingers. I squeeze his hand as my thanks and he squeezes back.
"Had the car hit him any harder, I don't think Bruce would have made it," the vet explains. "Luckily, it seems the majority of the force was on his back left leg. Unfortunately the leg was beyond saving, but the good news is that even though he will be missing a leg, Bruce will be okay."
He's going to be okay.
In response to the news, my parents pull me towards them and my hand falls out of Hayden's. I put my arms around my mom and dad and we cry tears of utter relief and joy.
"Thank god," my mom breathes.
"He's okay," I choke out.
"He's okay." My dad confirms, kissing the top of my head. "I told you he would be, Pumpkin. He isn't done protecting you."
Next thing I know Logan and Chloe pull me into their embrace, and I feel like a rag doll being fought over, but my heart swells with pride to know I have such good friends. They made sure to be here for me in this time of need, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
As I pull apart from my them, my eyes land on Hayden standing off to the side. He's kneeling down with Angel, telling her the good news with a smile. She barks happily and jumps up on him, attacking his face with kisses and he starts to laugh, trying to push her away. I feel myself giggle as I watch them, and Hayden must hear because he glances up at me.
He gives me his classic smirk and a wink, but even with his cocky actions, I see the soft relief in his eyes.
How can someone be so arrogant yet so sweet at the same time?
My heart starts fluttering with fear again, but this time I'm not afraid of what's going to happen to Bruce.
I'm afraid of what's going to happen to me, because I suddenly realize I'm falling for Hayden.
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