Chapter 35
Li Wenjian nodded slightly, his mouth twitched as if he wanted to say something, but then a smile crept onto his face. He walked up to the palace eaves, folded his umbrella, and carefully leaned it against the door.
Zhao Heng let him in and reached out to take his soaking wet coat.
The bright yellow robe was damp in some places, the wet patterns resembling rolling hills.
Worried he might catch a cold, Zhao Heng draped a towel over him, only to have her hand suddenly grabbed by his other icy cold hand.
Following that hand, Zhao Heng saw Li Wenjian's slightly weary and serious face.
Why did she sense such a melancholy mood from him?
Confused, she asked, "Your Highness, why are your hands so cold? Is something wrong?"
Li Wenjian shook his head. "Let's have dinner, I'll go change first."
With that, he headed towards the bedroom to change.
Zhao Heng watched silently as he walked away, completely soaked, leaving wet footprints with each step. Amid the sounds of rain and thunder outside the corridor, a sense of melancholy crept into her heart.
Had something happened to him?
Watching him disappear around the corner, Zhao Heng instructed the palace maid to set up the meal.
The dishes had been kept warm on the stove all night, but they had lost their freshness.
Carrying the dishes into the bedroom, Zhao Heng arranged them neatly on the table. The exquisite plates held small portions of food, visually appealing but lacking in flavor.
On such a damp day, she suddenly yearned for her grandmother's spring noodles. A bowl of steaming noodle soup, a spoonful of precious lard, a few drops of ordinary sauce, and some tender seasonal vegetables â a comforting bowl that could dispel all weariness.
Lost in thought, Zhao Heng was interrupted by Li Wenjian emerging in new clothes.
The night was late, and she had expected him to change into his nightwear immediately. However, he appeared dressed as if he might be going out later. Standing behind the crystal bead curtain, his hair was not completely dry, with droplets clinging to the tips and the curtain swaying gently in the night breeze.
Glancing at him, Zhao Heng grabbed a towel and said, "Let me dry your hair, Your Highness."
In the confined space, the two stood facing each other. After a moment, Li Wenjian averted his gaze, sat on a nearby stool, and turned his head slightly.
Zhao Heng draped the towel over her arm, lifted his crown, and placed it on a nearby table. Despite carrying an umbrella, his hair was thoroughly wet. She delicately combed through his wet hair with her fingers, using the towel to dry the dampness.
Li Wenjian remained silent, his face devoid of expression as his dark eyes gradually settled into calmness, hiding all emotions behind their black depths.
Once she finished drying and styling his hair with precision, Zhao Heng handed him a bowl of congee. "Your Highness, please try it and see if it's still warm."
Lowering his head, Li Wenjian took a sip. The congee had been left on the stove for too long, causing the rice grains to become mushy and nearly disintegrated, affecting the texture.
"It's hot," Li Wenjian remarked.
Listening to his comment, Zhao Heng sat beside him and took a few spoonfuls of congee. She noticed he only ate the congee and not the dishes. Frowning, she picked up a vegetable with the public chopsticks and added it to his bowl.
Li Wenjian lowered his bowl and looked at her. "Please eat, you don't have to worry about me."
Raising her head to gaze at the light filtering through the butterfly palace lanterns, Zhao Heng softly said, "No matter what happens, remember to eat well."
Li Wenjian turned to look at her.
Zhao Heng hesitated, "If Your Highness finds me intrusive, I will return to Changqiu Palace. But please, take care of yourself, eat well, and rest well."
Li Wenjian listened silently, eating his congee spoon by spoon until he finished the last grain of mushy rice.
"The rain is too heavy, you should rest here," Li Wenjian said.
Zhao Heng hesitated, "Your Highness, are you going to rest now?"
Li Wenjian shook his head, "I haven't had a chance to look at the official document that was delivered this morning."
Today, his mood was truly low.
Squeezing her sleeve, Zhao Heng stood up and said, "Let me get ink for you."
Li Wenjian let out a sigh, "It's late at night, you should sleep early."
Without insisting, Zhao Heng held a lantern and escorted Li Wenjian out of the bedroom. He turned and grasped the bamboo handle of the lantern, heading towards the study along the corridor.
His shadow cast by the lantern was elongated and swaying against the backdrop of thunder and rain.
Throughout the night, Zhao Heng found it hard to sleep soundly. The thunderous sounds outside and the flickering lights inside the room kept her awake. In the middle of the night, she woke up to lightning outside, illuminating the empty bed beside her.
Rubbing her eyes, she put on some clothes and made her way to the study.
There, Li Wenjian sat at the desk, holding a brush, and reviewing the official documents.
Zhao Heng hesitated, about to turn back, when she heard him call out, "Zhao Heng."
Responding with an "Hmm," she lifted her skirt and stepped over the tall threshold into the hall, seating herself beside him.
The lamp was too far, so she held the lamp stand and moved closer to his scrolls. Li Wenjian paused his writing and turned to ask her, "Why did you wake up? Did you have another nightmare?"
Shaking her head, Zhao Hong suddenly paused, wondering how Li Wenjian knew about her nightmares.
Seemingly understanding her thoughts, Li Wenjian added, "You were crying in your sleep the last few times."
Furrowing her eyebrows slightly, Zhao Heng recalled the previous nights when she woke up to find her sleeves wet, either with tears or saliva. Feeling a bit embarrassed, she said, "I was asleep and didn't know anything."
Li Wenjian nodded, then raised his hand to massage his throbbing temple.
"Is Your Highness experiencing a headache again?" Zhao Heng noticed his action.
Li Wenjian picked up a porcelain bottle from the desk, dabbed some ointment on his finger, and applied it to his temple. "Just a little," he replied.
Looking at the ointment in his hand, Zhao Heng returned her gaze to Li Wenjian and tenderly said, "Let me massage it for you."
Li Wenjian nodded.
Lighting an incense stick from the stand, Zhao Heng said to Li Wenjian, "If you feel tired, lie down on the bed. I'll give you a massage."
Feeling somewhat weary, Li Wenjian turned over and lay down on the bed.
Rolling up her sleeves, Zhao Heng first massaged her fingers until they were slightly warm before sitting at the bedside and applying gentle pressure to his temples with her fingertips.
"Is that okay?" Zhao Heng asked softly as she continued to massage him.
The skin on his temples turned slightly red under her touch.
Sensing the pressure of her fingers, Li Wenjian shook his head with closed eyes. The night breeze brushed against his face, bringing a coolness. He placed his hand on his chest and lightly pressed to ease the pain in his chest.
Zhao Heng watched his movements closely, then lowered her eyelids and softly asked, "Your Highness, have you encountered something troubling?"
"Do you want to hear it?" Li Wenjian asked.
"If Your Highness wishes to share, I am willing to listen. If not, I won't press further," Zhao Heng replied.
After a long silence without a response, she lowered her head and noticed that he had fallen asleep at some point. His eyelids were lightly drooping, indicating a restless sleep with fluttering eyelashes. As she lowered her head, a strand of hair fell onto his face, her fingers gently tucking it behind his ear in a slightly disheveled manner.
"Your Highness, sweet dreams."
*
The next day, Zhao Heng went to the imperial medical center to get the tranquilizer medication.
"My insomnia has been getting worse recently, almost not being able to sleep through the night," Zhao Heng furrowed her brows, a hint of worry creasing her forehead. "Could you increase the dosage of the medication for me?"
Physician Zheng checked her pulse and listened to her description, looking quite surprised, "Zhaoxun's pulse is very smooth, there doesn't seem to be anything unusual."
Zhao Heng pursed her lips and whispered, "I don't know what's wrong. Every night, I feel so anxious as if my heart is about to jump out of my chest, and then I can't sleep."
Frowning, her eyes shimmering with a pitiful light, softening the hearts of those who looked at her.
"Please, help me," she pleaded softly.
Physician Zheng reluctantly nodded, "Alright, but remember, the dose makes the poison. If this doesn't improve your condition, we'll consider another treatment."
A faint smile touched Zhao Heng's lips as she repeatedly thanked Doctor Zheng.
On her way back from the medical center with the medication, passing by the Rainflower Pavilion, she saw Physician Xu and Physician Wang hurrying towards the Purple Imperial Hall.
During the Emperor's military campaigns, these two physicians had accompanied the army. After the Emperor ascended the throne, they were in charge of the Emperor and Empress's health.
As their figures disappeared behind the Moon Gate, Zhao Heng still frowned in the direction of the Purple Imperial Hall.
"What are you looking at, Niangniang?" Lin Mama asked from the side.
Shaking her head, Zhao Heng replied, "Nothing, let's go."
Returning to Changqiu Hall, Zhao Heng picked out some herbs from the medication, then went to the cabinet, opening the door and retrieving an oil-paper bundle from the deepest part.
It contained the herbs she collected every time she went to the medical center.
She returned to the room, taking out a medical book from the deep drawer. She had secretly found this book in the study of the Crown Prince, containing various medicinal recipes, including one for a sedative.
As it was challenging to find herbs in the palace, she had Physician Zheng prescribe the medication under the pretext of an insomnia remedy, picking out the useful herbs each time.
After accumulating for over a month, she finally had them all.
Using a mortar and pestle to grind the herbs into powder, she packed them into a pouch, planning to test the efficacy of the medicine on some animals in the imperial zoo the next day.
"Niangniang," Lin Mama lifted the curtain and entered, "Are you dining at Chengming Hall tonight?"
Zhao Heng shook her head, as the Crown Prince had said he wouldn't be returning that evening.
"The lotus seed porridge at noon was delicious. Ask the kitchen to make some more, and send it to Chengming Hall once it's ready," Zhao Heng thought for a moment, "And some lily pastries, send some over as well."
Perhaps he hadn't eaten well again last night, the food left on the stove from the previous night was barely palatable. Zhao Heng decided to prepare some delicious pastries, at least to soothe the empty stomach during the hungry hours of the night.
Lin Mama chuckled softly, noting that Crown Prince and Zhao Heng treated each other well. This was how a couple should be, their days becoming more prosperous and smooth as time passed.
As the words "a couple" flashed in her mind, Zhao Heng startled herself. What was she thinking?! Their identities were like night and day, with the Crown Prince ascending to the throne in the future, he wouldn't marry Zhao Heng, a former palace maid... would he?
The lotus seed porridge and lily pastries that Zhao Heng had instructed were not eaten by Li Wenjian.
Li Wenjian was in the Purple Imperial Hall.
He didn't emerge until very late, the Empress standing behind a massive column waiting for him. Her face was pale, and she seemed unsteady on her feet, only able to steady herself by holding onto Ah Yuan's hand to navigate the steps.
Quickening his pace, Li Wenjian approached her, "Mother."
The Empress released Ah Yuan and gently held Li Wenjian's hand, "Lang'er, has your father fallen asleep?"
Li Wenjian supported her and slowly walked down the steps.
"He has fallen asleep; Physician Xu is still inside with him."
The Empress wanted to say something but suddenly coughed a few times. Li Wenjian stopped, gently rubbing her back to help her catch her breath.
"Mother, let me escort you back to the palace."
The Empress waved her hand, "No need, I won't be able to sleep either. I'll go in later to be with him."
After a moment of standing quietly under the moonlight, she looked at Li Wenjian and said, "Everyone goes through such phases; don't be too disheartened."
Li Wenjian shook his head, "It's not over yet; I... I'm not desolated."
Hearing him speak this way, the Empress sighed deeply. The late-night Purple Imperial Hall seemed even more desolate, with the moonlight shining brightly above.
Gazing at the full moon, the Empress softly said, "What he's most concerned about now is Ziren; he has been alone at the border for so many years, it must have been hard. And the youngest, one day I'll inquire. If she and Zheng Hanlin truly have feelings for each other, I'll arrange their marriage early, to avoid..."
She paused, closed her eyes, tears welling up, her voice laced with sadness, "And you, he said the child he owed the most in this lifetime was you. Your siblings all spent a few years by his side, but you, from a young age, were left at the Duke's residence without him embracing you as you grew up. That's why he has always looked forward to your children, but what you need to do now is of great importance for all ages. He knows you don't want your children to inherit the same regrets as he did, so if you want children, have them when you feel ready..."
"Mother..." Li Wenjian lowered his head, looking at the light cast by the horn-shaped lantern, a patch of brightness formed before him.
"Does what your mother said upset you?"
"No," Li Wenjian shook his head.
The Empress looked at him sideways, remaining silent for a long time. Finally, she said, "Alright, you can go back now. I will go into the palace to check on him. If he wakes up and doesn't see me, he'll start looking around for me."
Li Wenjian offered, "I will accompany you."
"No need," the Empress squeezed out a smile, "Go and guard his realm; he has me to watch over him."
*
The next day after school, Zhao Heng and Li Nanxi went to the Beast Garden together.
She carried a food box in her arm, filled with various foods like pastries and raw meat. And without exception, all the food had special seasonings added to them.
The summer afternoon was somewhat stifling, and Li Nanxi tightly held her finger, walking and hopping from one tile to another on the pathway.
At this hour, the Beast Garden was not crowded, and it seemed spacious inside.
As Zhao Hong and Li Nanxi walked further into the garden, they heard a series of desperate screams. They quickened their pace and saw in a courtyard, a eunuch was grabbing a woman, seemingly trying to snatch something from her. When the woman resisted, he pulled her by her hair out of a room and then viciously slapped her in the face.
The woman slumped onto the steps behind her, her sitting posture causing the flowerpot on the steps to topple over, crushing the plants inside.
She looked at the broken flowerpot on the ground, frantically picking up the plant and checking it. The top had a tender green bud, but the stem was smashed to pieces by her foot, causing the flower bud to droop lifelessly.
With tears welling in her eyes, the woman glared fiercely at the eunuch and suddenly rushed at him in a fit of madness. The eunuch muttered incomprehensibly, pulling her hair and brutally beating and kicking her while tearing her clothes from her arms, revealing large patches of pale skin. Zhao Heng's heart pounded in fear, and just as the eunuch was about to strike again, she rushed forward to stop him.
The eunuch, seemingly intoxicated, reeking of alcohol, seemed to mistake Zhao Heng for a palace maid and raised his hand to strike her in the face. Startled, Li Nanxi hastily shouted, "Stop!"
His mind clouded by alcohol, the eunuch ignored Li Nanxi's cries, and Zhao Heng shielded Li Nanxi's head with her arm while using her other hand to yank the hairpin from her head, stabbing at the eunuch's hand as it reached out toward her.
The hairpin had been specially sharpened as a precaution against any untoward intentions from Ruo Zhen, it was extremely sharp. She had tried it on deer meat, and it had easily pierced three inches of thick flesh.
In a moment, blood splattered everywhere.
The searing pain of his flesh being pierced made the man snap back to his senses, realizing he had assaulted someone of high status. He quickly got up to apologize. Zhao Heng withdrew the hairpin, wiping the bloodstains on her skirt and gritted her teeth, "Get out."
Li Nanxi, furious, approached and kicked the man's waist twice, echoing Zhao Heng's tone, "Get out, get out, get out!"
The woman cowered and lifted her head, meeting Zhao Heng's gaze before quickly looking away. In a brief glance, Zhao Heng noticed a large scar on the right side of her face, as big as a palm, extending from her eye to her nose. With her hair dampened with sweat sticking to her cheeks, the scar appeared even more frightening.
"Can you stand up?" Zhao Heng asked.
The woman nodded, avoiding further eye contact, silently cupping the broken plants on the ground, cutting her hands on the fragments without flinching, silently gathering the bloody soil together.
Zhao Heng took off her outer robe and draped it over the woman, only to see her holding the broken plant and trembling shoulders, tears streaming down her face.
Zhao Heng asked her, "I will take this to the Spring (Fangchun) Garden to see if it can be saved."
The woman reached out to her.
Shaking her head, the woman slowly got up from the ground, wiped away her tears, and pointed to the house and then to the ground.
"Do you want me to wait for you here?" Zhao Heng questioned.
The woman nodded.
"Alright, I'll wait here for you," Zhao Heng assured her.
The woman turned and went inside the house, soon returning in clean clothes with washed hands, holding Zhao Heng's clothes neatly folded. She returned the clothes, bowed deeply to Zhao Heng, and walked to the eaves, where she pulled out a flowerpot, placed the broken plant inside, and replanted it.
Seeing that the woman was ignoring her, Zhao Heng walked away while holding Li Nanxi's hand.
Li Nanxi tightened her grip on Zhao Hong's finger and timidly said, "Sister Ah Rong, that person was so scary."
"Did she hurt you?" Zhao Heng inquired.
Li Nanxi shook her head.
"Did she harm you?" Zhao Heng asked again.
Again, Li Nanxi shook her head.
Smiling, Zhao Heng patted her head, "Then what is little Eight afraid of?"
"Her face is so scary," Li Nanxi whispered.
"If I looked like that, would you be afraid of me?" Zhao Heng asked earnestly.
Li Nanxi thought for a moment, "No, Sister Ah Rong is a good person."
"Exactly. It's never the face that's scary, it's the heart," Zhao Heng laughed and playfully tapped her nose, "Little Eight, you should change your habit of judging people by their appearance."
Li Nanxi nodded in a somewhat understanding manner.
Zhao Heng and Li Nanxi then divided the food and fed it to the animals in the garden.
After observing their reactions for a while, she felt discouraged as the remedy didn't seem to work well. The tigers showed no reaction after eating the drugged meat, and the monkeys only yawned after consuming milk pudding...
If even the small animals weren't affected, Zhao Heng didn't hold out hope of drugging Ruo Zhen.
She felt a moment of defeat, then gathered her thoughts and adjusted her mindset. She would have to go back and reevaluate the concoction, to check if there were any mistakes in its composition.
*
One evening, as Zhao Heng was preparing to go to the Chengming Hall, she suddenly saw Mu Gui looking for her.
She greeted him outside and noticed his expression wasn't too good, so she asked, "Is something wrong?"
Standing on the veranda, Mu Gui hesitated for a moment before reporting, "His Highness hasn't had his meals for two days now. Could you...please talk to him?"
He never properly listened to his own body, ate, or slept well.
After some thought, Zhao Heng said, "You go back for now, I'll come over later."
Once Mu Gui left, Zhao Hong asked Lin Mama, "Do you know if His Highness had any favorite snacks in the past?"
Lin Mama thought for a moment and replied, "He isn't picky, especially in recent years. But in his youth, he liked hollow glass pastries and Snowy Red Sands."
Zhao Heng said, "Instruct the kitchen to prepare these and also make some millet congee."
These were simple dishes that were quickly packed into a food container.
After changing her clothes, Zhao Heng headed towards the Chengming Hall.
Li Wenjian stood by the window, hands resting on the windowsill, gazing at the jade hairpins swaying in the courtyard. When he spotted Zhao Heng, he called out through the window, "Zhao Heng."
Zhao Heng raised her hand to shield her eyes, smiled gently at him, and then walked inside. She entered the study and placed the food container on her arm down, saying, "I didn't have an appetite after returning from the Academy this afternoon, so I brought some pastries. I hope His Highness doesn't mind."
Though Li Wenjian didn't speak, he shook his head.
Opening the food container, Zhao Heng arranged the pastries neatly. She turned to Li Wenjian and asked softly, "Would Your Highness like to have some with me?"
Li Wenjian shook his head again.
Not wanting to force him, Zhao Heng served herself some congee and slowly began to eat. Li Wenjian sat at the desk, focusing on the documents, as she didn't call him to join her.
After a while, he saw the shadows shifting and looked up to see Zhao Heng standing before him. He met her gaze and asked, "Hmm?"
Observing his expression, Zhao Heng whispered, "Lin Mama packed too much food. I can't finish it."
Li Wenjian glanced at the food on the table and replied, "If you can't finish it, leave it there."
There was a moment of sadness in Zhao Heng's eyes, "Recently, I learned an article that said 'Desires for food, where's the end? Embracing frugality is the way to cherish blessings and prolong life.'"
She glanced at the food on the table, her voice gentle, "Wasting food is damaging to blessings, Your Highness, could you please help me?"
Understanding that she was trying to persuade him, despite her worries, Li Wenjian couldn't help but nod, "Hmm."
Seeing Zhao Heng's relief and clear concern disappear from her eyes, replaced by a genuine smile, she said, "I'll get it for you."
"No need," Li Wenjian stopped her, "You write, I'll go."
"Okay," Zhao Heng nodded appreciatively, looking into Li Wenjian's eyes, "Thank you, Your Highness."
She then went to her desk, opened her ink and began to write.
Li Wenjian saw her diligently writing, and with a slight smile on his face, he approached the table, where his favorite snacks from his youth were arranged. After a few days of gloom, a faint smile appeared on his face.
Though Zhao Heng didn't look up, she could hear the faint sound of Li Wenjian chewing and knew he was eating properly.
Feeling relieved, she finally let go of her worries.
After a long while without the sound of chewing, Zhao Heng looked over and saw Li Wenjian eating in the next room. Her hand that held the pen trembled, and it suddenly slipped from her grasp.
Li Wenjian with a face etched with worry, sits hunched over a small table, his trembling hands clutching a meager bowl of half-eaten gruel. Each spoonful is a struggle to swallow, the bitter taste a stark reminder of the harsh realities that surround him.
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Author's Note:
"Li Dogzi: My old man is on his deathbed, so I'm not in the mood for witty banter today.