Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Alana

I'd spent a good amount of time staring at the coffee menu, not because I wasn't able to decide what I wanted to order, but because coffee was the last thing on my mind. My mind since the past two weeks had been occupied by how I was going to tell Troy that we needed to end the fake dating; it was getting a little boring.

I had started to wonder if there really was some kind of a clip of us kissing, or if it was just something that Troy had come up with. He was kind of sweet when he waited for me in the parking lot, smoking a cigarette as usual and trying to look cool. He even helped me carry my stuff to class, pecked my cheek in the corridors for the "fake dating" thing, and even let me join his band practice. We even went out for pizza together during the weekend.

Troy led a life of a loner, and I didn't recall watching him getting along with anyone outside his band members or talking about a single friend back home and that made me think if he had manipulated our situation to make it seem like we needed to go along with this dating.

To me it looked like he just wanted company for lunches and someone to just talk to. Whatever that it was, I was going to lay it out for him. In the past two weeks that I'd known him, I hadn't uttered a single word about having known Rowan.

Finally, I decided on my usual favorite mocha latte with lots of whipped cream. The café was packed, and the queue to the order register was never-ending, and moving at snail's pace. I sighed. It was a Friday, what had I really expected?

I groaned as the employee behind the counter worked slowly, wanting to get it over with. Just when I was ready to ditch the idea of coffee, I felt a tug at my top.

"Alana!" The little girl wrapped her little arms around my midsection as she recognized who I was.

The girl was Minnie. Daughter of my ex-boyfriend. Yeah, as taboo as it sounds.

I had met her after a year, she looked as cute as I remembered. Although we talked on the phone, this was different. I got hold of her hands. "Hey! Look at you, baby. You're all grown up and beautiful. Love your dress."

"Thanks." She said, putting her hair behind her ear, the way grown up girls did. Minnie stared at me with the familiar mocha eyes. Rowan's eyes. Her features were a stark reminder of him. My heart couldn't handle the pain. Her hair had grown longer and tied back in a ponytail. She was dressed like a doll in a lime colored sleeveless top and mini skirt with matching shoes. "Why din you come to meat me?"

I tried to look for an easy escape because I didn't have an answer. What was I supposed to tell the little girl, that I had gotten cold feet? Because the smallest of connections with him reminded me of what I had lost. He had been you-know-who for me since a year. Nina and Chez had minimized the use of his name or his family in my vicinity, although I knew they gossiped about me and him behind my back.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie. I promise to remain in touch with you from now on."

"Pinky Promise?" She raised her pinky finger to mine.

I linked my pinky finger with hers. "Pinky Promise."

Now that I thought about it, how come Minnie was here alone? She was always hanging out with Dwight? Wasn't it supposed to be his duty to make sure she was safe while Rowan was away? Maybe he was too busy flirting with some chick to notice his niece gone. I made a mental note to give an earful to Dwight when I met him next time.

"Where is Uncle Dwight, baby?" I asked.

"Uncle Dwigh's not wid me." Minnie said.

"Then who is here with you, sweetie?" I tried again.

"Daddy!"

"What?!"

Before I had time to process that word or I could ask her anything else, I watched a tall figure appear in front of me who stole my ability of speech for that moment. The air knocked out of my lungs. I think I forgot how to breathe. My heart decided that it wanted to leap into an excessive overdrive.

I fought the urge to run into his arms and cry the bucket full of tears I had saved up for this one moment but I couldn't. It was like some spark flew between us as we stared at each other mesmerized.

Rowan stood before me, dressed in a gray Super Dry t-shirt which highlighted his muscular biceps, and his toned body. It was matched with a navy blue jeans, his favorite color. All matched with leather boots. His eyes were the same as I remembered, but somehow, the darkness within them wasn't visible anymore. Rowan looked sober and just ridiculously gorgeous. Healthy, and more human, like a freakin fashion model.

Now that I remembered Nina yapping something like that a few months back, but I'd told her to shut up.

Suddenly, all the emotions were flooding back in. My stomach was a runway of butterflies as if I'd met my crush for the first time. I'd totally forgotten what being in love felt like and instead of being mad at him, here I was lost in the whirlpool of his eyes.

"Alana...hey." He passed me his signature dimple kissed smile, one that usually made every girl including me to swoon.

Say something, stupid!

"I was actually right at the back there , Minnie insisted that she wanted to order for her donuts and for my coffee alone. So, I was just supervising." He chuckled. "You didn't think she was lost, did you?"

"That's what I thought." I admitted.

Rowan hadn't stopped smiling and I hadn't stopped staring. He said, "How are you doing?"

After your break up? Yeah, fine. Just perfectly fine. Getting some sunshine, hooking up with your cousin. Life's great. Note the sarcasm.

Instead I said, "I'm fine."

He nodded, giving me a slow once over. "You look beautiful. I mean, you were always beautiful, but now you seem different somehow. All grown up and mature."

"At least someone won't think of me as a kid anymore."

He chose to ignore my remark as he asked, "So, do you have any other plans? How about coffee with us?"

"Well..." I began. It was a Friday evening, that meant I had no possible excuses to bail on him.

"Plwease Alana, Plweaseeeeee." Minnie insisted.

I sighed. The child mattered to me. She was so innocent, staring at me with those cute pleading eyes, I gave in. "Fine."

"Okay, why don't you girls go fetch a seat and I'll order for coffee." Rowan said, "Chocolate donut for Minnie and Mocha and whipped cream for Alana, right?"

I smiled. "Of course."

Minnie and I found a booth that was just emptied by a group of girls. A few minutes later, Rowan returned with our order and slipped into the seat opposite mine. He sat next to Minnie.

I took a sip of the coffee and when I sneaked a glance towards Rowan, I noticed his eyes were trailed on me. He wasn't looking away, unabashed. And it kind of messed with my heart when he was looking at me like he wanted to do things to me.

I coughed to distract him. "So, when did you come back from Denmark?"

"I was discharged from the rehab six months back." He explained. "And then I was just traveling around Europe for my photoshoots. Karl's idea."

"Alana, Daddy is a model." Minnie said, excitement glimmering in her eyes and what was obvious was her admiration for her father. "In school, Katy showed me a magjinee, and Daddy was on the page. Daddy is so handsome, right, Alana?"

"Of course sweetie, your daddy is very handsome." I said.

"He is the best Daddy in the world." Minnie went on, clinging onto her father's arm lovingly.

"Yes, darling, he is." My cheeks turned as red as a tomato.

"Okay, sweetheart, you're embarrassing me now." Rowan said to Minnie as he tickled her and she began giggling uncontrollably.

"But, Alana is the most beautiful girl, too."  Minnie said between giggles. "I like Alana."

"Isn't that right?" Rowan asked her. "Well, can't disagree with that one."

"Alana and Daddy should marry."

That's it. Dwight had warned me before about Minnie having such thoughts, and I was flattered, who was I kidding, I was beyond flattered, but having thrown into this situation when I was sitting right under Rowan's hawk eyes was something I had never expected.

Rowan had the same dimple kissed smile on his face.

"Daddy, look, that's Blake." Minnie suddenly pointed at some kid standing by the counter, and waved both arms at him. "He is my new best friend. BLAKE! HEY BLAKE!"

"Sweetheart, it's rude to point at someone like that..." Rowan began telling her, but Minnie wasn't even listening to her father as she scurried over to join her classmate.

Just great!

It was getting even more awkward now that we were both alone in the booth. I swirled the straw in the coffee and took a sip, looking at the patterns of the napkin once a while, avoiding eye contact, knowing without a doubt that his eyes were on me.

"Don't mind what Minnie just said..."

"It's okay, Rowan."

Some more awkward staring and silence.

"It's crowded here, huh?" Rowan said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Weekends are always crowded here." I responded, still not looking at him.

"The weather is getting good too. I like it when it gets a little breezy here." He continued. It looked to me like Rowan was trying very hard to keep the conversation going.

How could he just sit here and say howdy and talk about the weather? Like we'd been nothing more than a student and her ex-professor who did nothing but exchange pleasantries during class. Like we hadn't played tonsil hockey for a year, like I hadn't traveled to another country just to spend time with him, as if he hadn't broken up with me. As far as I remembered, we had exchanged more than that. My heart was still with this man.

I wanted to ask him more questions. Did you miss me, Rowan? Have you started dating someone else? Do you still love me?

My throat tightened.

"Are you okay, Alana?" Rowan placed his hand over mine. I acted upon impulse, pulling away instinctively.

Tears were clouding my vision. How could Rowan act so normal after everything that he had done. It didn't even seem like he was bothered by the fact that I was sitting with him. The way he was acting, it clearly meant he had moved on, and here I was thinking he still had feelings for me. He had crushed my heart, my soul over a dozen times. Asked for chances and screwed up again.

"I need to go." I said, grabbing for my purse as I slipped out of the booth and navigated my way out of the café.

"Alana, wait." Rowan followed suit.

I bolted out of the door and walked into the cool air, and that's when Rowan's arm seized my wrist, pulling me hard against him. His arm snaked around my waist as he held me close, so close that there wasn't any space left between us. I could smell his familiar intoxicating scent of cologne. I breathed in, it felt so good. Rowan buried his face in my hair. Despite everything that he had put me through, I couldn't control myself when he was touching me like that. His fingers just shy of my top, almost touching my skin.

My damaged boy. I loved him too much to let go. I could try to move on, but I knew no matter how hard I tried to forget him, I would never be able to.

*****

Rowan

God! Alana felt so fucking good in my arms. She was so perfect. She fit into my arms like a missing puzzle. Instinctively, I buried my face in her hair. She sank her face into my chest as she went up on her heels, her arms wrapping around my back possessively, like she wanted to tell me that I was hers only. I wanted to forget that the world around even existed.

This better not be a fucking dream.

"What's the matter?" Rowan whispered into her ear. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"I can't pretend like this, like we don't even know each other." She whispered back.

I pulled back to look into her eyes. I cupped her face and ran the pad of my thumb across her cheek to wipe her tears. Alana closed her eyes, as my fingers brushed her cheek. The three words were at the tip of my tongue, I knew it would roll off easily, but something held me back. I didn't want to say that I loved her and screw up again. Her lips looked tempting and I wanted to kiss her so damn badly, but I knew it had to wait too.

"We can start fresh, like the bad things from the past never happened." I suggested.

"What do you mean?" She appeared puzzled.

"That means we take it slow. Spend time with each other and talk it out. We don't need to jump into a relationship. You can take your time, think about it."

She gave out a dry laugh. "You were the one who broke up with me, remember?"

"Well, yeah. I'm a fucking idiot. And I guess you know that by now." I quickly added. "I won't do the same mistake of asking you for another chance. All I want you to do is think about me, analyze me and if you really think we could work it out, then...you could consider us again, maybe?"

Alana seemed nervous all of a sudden, she was fidgeting, like she was hiding something. "There's something you need to know, Rowan." She bit her bottom lip, averting her eyes away from mine.

God forbid if she said she had someone else in her life? Or, that she liked someone better. What was I supposed to do? I tried to keep my mind off the dark side, because even thinking about those possibilities made me sick in the stomach.

"Do you...." I swallowed, unable to get the words out of my mouth. "Do you have someone else in your life?"

Alana shook her head. She still wasn't looking at me. "I need you to trust me, okay? We are going to talk about it, but not now."

I gave a nod of approval. Whatever she had to say would have to wait. I didn't think I had it inside me to spoil my mood. I decided to keep my head clear. I wasn't here for two years, I'd broken up with her and told her to move on, so what if she had a little fling with a guy?

I ran my fingers through her hair. "Whenever you are ready. Know that, whatever it is, Alana, I'll listen to you. I'm not that old bat-shit crazy guy anymore, maybe that guy is still there somewhere, but I won't ever do anything that may hurt you. If you tell me that you don't want to talk to me, I won't."

She refused to give me an answer and that made me more anxious.

"Say something, baby." I said. "Would you consider me?"

"Yes." She said, this time meeting my gaze.

A smile crossed my lips. "Thank you." I took her hand in mine and kissed her fingers, one at a time, we stared at each other mesmerized. Neither of us wanting to let go.

"Nina must be waiting near my apartment building." Alana informed me. "So, I need to head home."

"Okay." I said. "Can I offer you a ride? Minnie and I are going home too."

"No. That's fine." She said. "I recently bought a used car."

"Wonderful." I hated this part where we had to head back home. "Can I text you?"

Alana laughed for the first time since we had met. Her laughter, that smile is what I wanted to wake up every day to, although I knew if my thoughts were transparent, she would be running for the hills. "You can text me, Rowan."

"Okay, see you then."

"Looks like Minnie has got herself a boyfriend." Alana joked, indicating towards the café.

"Well, don't know about her, but I sure as hell need a girlfriend soon. A man has his needs too, you know."

Alana's face fell. She never really got around to appreciating my humor. I quickly added. "I'm kidding." I wasn't.

Alana waved one last time, turned on her heel and walked towards the parking lot. I blew out a breath and retreated towards the café. She thought that meeting me here was a co-incidence, I'd called her friend Nina first who had seemed excited when I told her that I wanted to surprise Alana and she willingly told me about Alana's plan for the day. Piece of cake.

It's been four days in Carmel and I had yet to meet my family. I'd only met my father's chauffeur, Oliver who had dropped Minnie off in the new condo complex where I lived now. I'd sold off the old apartment where I used to live before and bought a new condo in the heart of Carmel. This space was bigger and better.

I walked back to the café and found Minnie seated with her friend, Blake and his mother. His mother talked to me for some time. The woman seemed shy and sweet. A few minutes later, Minnie and I were driving back to my family home. I couldn't wait to hear to what Dwight had to say, it was probably the same thing that Alana was talking about.

I mentally prepared for the blow, knowing full well that I wouldn't like what was coming to me.

*****

A.N: Hey! This chapter was so much fun to write. although it is longer than I previous chapters, it was important to describe both their thoughts and feelings. hope you all enjoyed reading it.

Please don't forget to Vote and Comment. Virtual Hugs to all my lovely supporters!  ❤️❤️❤️

xx Kash