Everything's been going great and I got a job at another hospital a couple weeks ago.
I recently started to go talk to a counselor because I've been feeling down a lot lately.
And Devon has been very helpful and he still continues to make me happy everyday, and he's a great father figure to the kids.
Ring ring!
I grabbed my phone from the cupholder and answered it.
"Hey babe."
"Hey boo bear."
I heard him smack his lips and then chuckle.
"Are you at your doctor appointment?"
"Yea I'm sitting in the parking lot now. How are you guys doing?"
"Oh ok and they're doing homework now."
"Great, now all I have to do is make sure they get in the shower and then cook dinner."
"Yep."
"Alright well let me get in this doctors office before I'm late."
"Alright talk to you in a lil while."
"KK bye."
The phone disconnected and I made sure I had everything I needed before I got out making sure I locked the car.
After taking the elevator to the fourth floor I was now sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called back.
"Rain Alexander."
The counselor said as she called my name from her office door.
"Hello."
I said once we made it in her office and got comfortable.
"Hello. How was your day today?"
She responded while looking at me with a smile on her face.
"My day was ok lately, but I've been feeling sick though."
I said while trying to hold my breath because her office smelled like coffee and it was bothering me.
"Alright how long have you felt this way?"
She asked looking at me with concern.
"For a couple weeks now, I wanna say after our appointment a couple weeks ago."
She started writing on her pad and once she was fine and looked back up at me.
"Have you went to the doctors or anything?"
"No, I haven't had time I'm always busy."
"Well it seems to me that you need to get some rest so you need to take a couple days off of work."
"I can't do that, missing days means missing pay and I can't afford to be losing money, with all the mouths I need to feed."
"I understand that but your straining your body and pretty soon it's going to give out completely, then what's going to become of you?"
I rushed over to the garbage can on the side of the couch and threw up.
She walked behind me handing me paper towels as I wiped my mouth.
Then she went to her window opening it before going to her mini fridge and grabbed me a water bottle.
I drunk a little as I walked over and sat back on the couch.
"Alright I want to try something but IÂ don't want you to get mad at me."
"Ok what is it?"
She got up from the chair in front of me and went behind her desk coming back with two boxes handing them to me.
"I can't get pregnant anymore so there's no need for this."
I said having them back to her.
"Just try and see."
She said with a smile on her face.
"Ok."
I said getting irritated and went to the bathroom that was located in her office.
After following the instructions I went back in her office and patiently sat there waiting to prove her wrong.
After her alarm went off and she went in the bathroom and seen what they said before telling me to go and see for myself.
I slowly got up and went back into the bathroom to see the results. After looking at them for a while I finally got a group on reality and walked back into her office after throwing them away.
"So you can't get pregnant anymore huh?"
She asked with a chuckle, but I found nothing funny so I sat there just mugging her.
"I'm not keeping the baby so..."
I said picking at my nails.
"First of all you need to talk to your boyfriend about this before you make a big decision like this."
"He had no say so. It's my body and I said no more kids."
"Let me ask you a couple questions."
"Shoot."
I said looking at her as she looked at me without blinking.
"I know you already have six biological children and you didn't want the other four, but don't you think babies are a blessing?"
"I mean yes, but I don't need anymore kids."
"Why do you say that you don't need anymore children?"
"I have to fucking many I don't want to be the next 19 kids and counting."
She shook her head and looked back up at me.
"Do you really want to get rid of the baby, or did you just say it because that was your first thought?"
I shrugged my shoulder not giving her eye contact anymore.
"Well sense you don't know, I want you to go home and share this news with your boyfriend. And I want you to tell him about how you instantly thought about aborting the baby without his consent."
"Alright."
"I would also like for you to call me on my personal number and tell me what happen, and I don't care what time it is I want you to call ok?"
She said giving me a comforting smile.
"Yes ma'am."
"No problem babe, now take care."
I gathered my stuff and was on my way out the door but she stopped me.
"Take these to and give it to him."
She said handing me the bag I disposed the test in.
"Ok thank you once again."
"No problem, now have a good rest of your day."
"You as well."
After scheduling my next appointment with her assistant, I made my way back to my car.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey un Devon can I talk to you for a second?"
I asked neveroudly as we were preparing dinner.
"Sure."
"I think you might want to sit foen for what I'm about to tell you."
He sat down and looked at me with a questioning look.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant."
I said slowly while handing him the test out of my purse on the counter, as I walked over to him.
"That's great, but why do you sound sad?"
He said with with excitement, as I looked at the floor.
"I don't want to keep the baby."
I said fiddling with my fingers with my head down.
"Why!?
He yelled making me jump back a little.
"Because now isn't the right time and I already have to many kids to take care of."
"So you thinking about killing my baby?"
I slowly nodded my head never looking up at him until I heard the chair move.
The next thing I know is he's grabbing Devon Jr, and he's out the door slamming it.
"Well that went great."
I said to myself as I finished dinner.
After finding and gathering the kids together we are dinner and then I washed them up putting them to bed.
I laid in my bed with my phone in my hand thinking about calling my counselor and I decided to do so since I felt depressed.
A couple rings later she answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ms. Sanders this is Rain, sorry for calling so late."
"It's ok. So how did everything go?"
"He was happy at first but when I told him how I felt he got angry and left."
"Well at least he left and didn't do anything he regret."
"I agree, but I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing."
"Alright well have a goodnight and take care."
"Ok, you as well."
After that I hung up the phone and put it on the charger on the nightstand before getting comfortable and attempting to go to sleep.
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