Iâm staying with Micky. Which feels way too similar to a babysitter, but I get it. Itâs as if Bryan is still controlling me from afar. Heâll be back because he thinks Iâm weak and hiding. Iâm not hiding, Iâm plotting.
Camden has introduced me to my villain era, and Iâve never felt more in control than when Iâm planning chaos. After speaking with Camâs father at Thanksgiving, I knew it was time to assemble. I sure botched the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend though.
I stare out one of the tall windows of the Kucera loft and watch a plane pass by. At this exact moment, the team is flying over Canada to play back-to-back games, and itâll be days before I see him again. What the fuck is wrong with me? He asked me if I could ever see us as more, and I should have said yes.
But I didnât.
Because Iâm an idiot.
Itâs been weighing on my mind. He can be so hot and cold. After he beat Bryan to a pulp, we had sex and he said all the right thingsâbut then took everything back. I tried to get information out of him the day we drove to his parentsâ, but he kept joking around. Then, after some seriously emotional period sex, he put himself out there, and it freaked me out. I was so caught up in my own hormonal feelings I couldnât tell if he was being earnest. Was it a legitimate opening for us to be more? And if so, would he just change his mind later? What if he decided monogamy wasnât for him?
A tear slips down my cheek. Our day in the boathouse was magicalâwhich is not a word Iâve ever used to describe a day on my period.
However, after a night of sleepâin his armsâI know without a doubt itâs the only place I ever want to be.