Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Unedited

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I would've thought by now that pain could be considered a foreign concept to me, especially after my second "first shift" into Shiva 2.0, but apparently I am still capable of being hurt way more than I was in those achingly torturous moments.

Every nerve in my body ignited into flames as the blade cut into my skin, Shiva could feel it too. She howled in my head as Olivia's phantom twisted the knife through my skin, opening up an ugly wound in my chest, blood pouring up like a fizzed up Fanta bottle, soaking my grey hoodie and staining it crimson.

I whimper, my body limp and helpless, all I'm able to do it watch the blade as it sinks deeper into the centre of my chest.

My head is fuzzy, my vision becoming blurrier with every second I spend on the floor.

"I didn't want it to have to come to this." The man's voice speaks from within Olivia, and he almost sounds sorry for me. "If you'd have just come along when my men asked you to, Kaden wouldn't have lost his mate, and you wouldn't have lost your life."

I cough, and feel thick warm liquid dribble out of my lips, my eyes focussed solely on the knife protruding from my chest, the blade buried hilt deep within my rib cage. Olivia is no longer paying attention to it now, fishing around in her pockets until she pulls out a long, thin grey syringe from the pocket of her hoodie. It's sharp and deadly looking, far too big to have fit in her pocket, but she's been possessed by a demon so I can take that as a minor detail.

"This wouldn't have hurt normally." Her eyes are almost remorseful as she lifts up the bottom of my hoodie to reveal a small scar underneath my bellybutton. "If you'd have just come to me then I wouldn't have had to stab you to keep you still."

It's rumoured that this scar is the direct connection to your wolf, and appears once you've fully shifted for the first time. It takes the shape of a characteristic that defines your personality. Fists signify strength, stars signify adventurous, chess pieces signify logic. I had never understood why I had a crown as mine, because my father wasn't a crown, and neither was my mother. It couldn't be for leader, it couldn't be for ruler, because I didn't have a ruling bone in my body when I was thirteen years old.

I watched with fast fading vision as Olivia plunged the syringe through the centre of my scar, and a new wave of excruciating pain spreading through my skull, and I couldn't help the scream that ripped from my body. I watch with tear filled eyes as a strange, silver liquid is removed from my stomach, and suddenly Shiva was once again no longer in my head.

Black veins start to spread from my mark, as every memory I've ever had with Shiva flashes through my mind like a digital picture book, from my first shift into a pup form of herself, to running without reins through the woods. I remember every anger fuelled conversation I've ever been apart of, every time she leant me her strength, every time we cried together because life wasn't fair.

It was like the second I watched them, the memory disappeared and I couldn't remember them. I was forgetting conversations I had with my parents, running through the woods with Sophia before I started to lose control.

I feel the tears finally fall at the flashback of my dead best friend, trying to grasp onto the memory with the fingertips of my mind. I didn't want to forget this, I didn't want to forget anything to do with her.

"Stop, t...taking mem...memories of her." I cry, my breathing becoming harsh and laboured. I can feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head, the feeling in my toes and fingers gone as blood continues dribbling from the knife wound, my life force leaving with it. "A...anyone but h...h...er."

Olivia's face gives me a sad smile, her rough, cracked skin brushing my hair out of my face. Her skin is still icy to the touch, but I find that it stops me struggling, takes away the pain in my chest, until I can't feel anything. "I'm sorry Lola, but I can't stop you from forgetting the moments that Shiva was involved in, it's just part of the process we could've avoided if we had just done this right."

The last memory I see is Kaden stood smiling with pride, showing me a picture of Shiva's forehead, how the mark of the moon was dyed into the fur on her skull.

And then I black out all togther, the memory trickling from my mind like the last drops of blood from my chest.

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The incessant beeping of hospital equipment has me stirring from my sleep. My head feels far too heavy on my neck when I try to lift it from my soft pillow, as do my arms when I try to raise them.

I can feel the wires stuck into my skin, pumping liquids through my veins. My limbs feel like they've had gasoline poured on them and lit on fire, my skin hot and burning to the touch.

The worst part is that I feel completely empty. I feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest, leaving me hollow, a fragment of who I used to be. Somehow, without it being confirmed to me, I know that Shiva is gone. I know this time that the moon goddess can't bring her back to me, because she's no longer in my head or my body at all.

It's strange that I know who Shiva is, despite having no memories of her at all. It's like the name tugs at a string of my heart, like a VCR tape with a title, but the original video has been recorded over the top of.

I feel a tear make it's way down my cheek, but my body hurts too much for me to remove it myself.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" I hear a voice softly say beside me, and a soft touch against my cheek dries my damp skin. "Little mate, you're safe now you don't need to cry."

I crack my eyes open to see my mate looking at me worriedly, relief coulding his cold blue irises. His hair is a mess, his obsidian curls sitting wildly atop his head, and his face looks tired, haggard even. Despite having a clean shaven face when I last saw him, his stubble has grown into a full beard, covering the familair curves and angles of his strong jaw.

Seeing him look so differently than the last time I saw him makes my chest squeeze painfully at the lost time. "Kaden..." I sob, reaching my hand out slowly so that I can touch him. He gets the message, and drops his face onto my bed so that my fingers can dance painfully across his cheekbones, his skin igniting the pads of my fingertips.

"It's okay, Lola." He says quietly, kissing the inside of hand, his lips lingering on the skin of my palm. "I know why you didn't tell me."

I don't understand what he's saying, what didn't I tell him? I know that my face mirrors my confused and jumbled up thoughts, because the soft look on his face falls, and his gorgeous face becomes a mask of bewilderment. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kaden."

"Lola...I...how can you not..." He stumbles over his words, his eyes watering slightly before the sound of the door opening has his gaze snapping away. I slowly look away from him and let my eyes fall on the doctor who has just walked in. It's surprisingly not Jasper, but Otis, an unavoidable frown on his face.

Otis is a sight for my sore eyes, my chest aching at how much I've missed him without realising. He had always been around when I was younger, fixing my dislocated shoulders with a quick pop, offering me ointments for my training burns, reading old scripture to me when I snuck from my tutoring. He was like an uncle to me, and the second his eyes fall on me, I can't help but let the tears fall again.

"Before we get onto the more serious aspect of our conversation, there are a few people I know you would like to see, Luna Lattimore." He says, bowing his head slightly. I look to the glass windows lining the wall of my hospital room to see Lyle, my parents, and a vaguely familar woman that I'm sure I've never met before.

The second Lyle sees I've noticed him he bursts into the room, crossing the gap between the door and my bedside in what seems like mere seconds, before he fiercly wraps me in a hug. His familiar, comforting scent of nutmeg and the ocean invade my nostrils, a stabbing feeling of homesickness punching me in the stomach. Kaden growls lowly, but shuts up the second I wrap his hand in my free one, my thumb stroking his knuckles affectionately.

"My god, Lola, what have you been doing to yourself?!" Lyle snaps quietly in my ear, pulling back slightly so I can see his furious expression. "Did your lessons with myself and your father teach you nothing about caution!"

"I'm sorry, Lyle." I sniff, hugging him again. "But she looked so normal from behind."

He rolls his eyes, a small smile on his face. "I'm not talking about this you silly pup, I'm talking about you walking up to a rogue with a crossbow and punching straight through his chest! You're lucky his friends didn't decide to take a bite out of you."

"Extremely lucky." I hear the gruff voice of my father, who has now walked into the room and is stood cautiously behind Lyle. He too looks as exhausted as Kaden, his hair considerably longer and more grey than when I last saw him, his brown eyes full of exhaustion. "Lola, there have been far too many close calls where you have gambled your life."

"Don't worry father." I smile weakly, remembering the fact I am no longer whole. "I won't be making any more stupid mistakes now that I don't have a wolf to protect me anymore."

My father looks lost for words, as does the rest of my company. Otis takes this as a moment to speak up, coughing slightly as he steps to the end of my bed. "Yes, I'm afraid we have a lot of bad news to discuss, and you all might as well hear it."

I close my eyes and breathe out through my nose, my hand tightening aorund Kaden's as I prepare myself for whatever bad news is about to be sent my way.

"Unfortunately, the knife wound has create significant damage to Lola's immune system, the blade being laced with wolfsbane and various other concoctions found to limit the healing of werewolf. Some Viola has not seen or heard of being used in just under a century. That, and the syringe to your abdomen has caused an anomolous substance to be flowing in your veins that is turning your blood black."

"Why hasn't Shiva stepped in to expel these things from her system? Kickstart her healing?" My mother says quietly, her grip around my father's arm steely as if stopping her from falling over. "She shouldn't have been in bed as long as she was."

"That's the other thing, Mrs. Lattimore." Otis clears his throat awkwardly, straightening his askew tie in order to give his shaking hands something to do. "We ran multiple tests, some of them in attempt to contact her wolf inside her head during her unconsciousness, and we have discovered that her wolf is, well, gone."

Kaden suddnely lets go of my hand and throws a chair across the room, causing me to flinch in my seat, my hand suddenly feeling cold. "Kaden please, I need you holding my hand."

Looking at him, his heavy breathing and dangerous appearance, I know his wolf is in charge, but I want my mate beside me, helping me through whatever bad news Otis is left to deliver. "Anything else, Otis?"

Kaden runs his hands through his hair, tugging harshly at his curls before taking a seat beside me once again, enveloping my hand in his.

Otis nods his head, flipping over the sheet of paper attached to his clipboard before continuing. "We do have some more news, not all of it bad however. Your human immune system is still functioning, albeit weakened by the substances in your blood, but you should fully recover within the next few weeks. Unfortunately the scar created by the knife wound will not heal fully until Shiva is found, so you will be left with the visible scarring of your tissue."

I nod my head and peer down the front of my hospital gown in an attempt to see the scar, but Otis begins talking before I can get a good look. "There is one more thing you'll want to be aware of, Luna Lattimore."

"What is it Otis." I say, my voice hoarse. My throat is dry, and no matter how much I swallow, I can't seem to wet it. I cough quickly, gulping down the cup of water Kaden quickly hands me, his fingers drawing patterns up and down the skin of my arm. "I don't believe that the news can get much worse, than it already has."

"This is not bad news, Lola." Kaden says softly, his hand cupping my cheek with so much affection I almost start to cry. "I think you'll be happy to hear what Otis has to say."

"Yes, well," Otis begins again, awkwardly coughing as he once again flips over another page. "Whilst you did take significant damage to your ribcage and chest, your blood thickening etcetera, Viola was able to perform a spell that will protect your pup from any damage that could be possibly sustained from whatever is in your blood at the moment."

Otis continues to talk, but all I can hear is my blood roaring in my ears. I don't think I heard him correctly, I couldn't have. I haven't displayed any symptoms, I haven't felt any different, there must've been some sort of mistake. "What?"

I see everyone's gaze snap to mine, my face paling and all colour draining from my face. My parents are looking at me like I've grown another head, broad grins on their faces, whilst Lyle and the mysterious girl beside him mirror my parent's exact appearances. But Kaden looks worried, the beaming smile on his face being replaced with a frown. I know he can sense something isn't adding up, a given based on my highly inappropriate reaction, but all I can concentrate on is Otis. "I said your pup is going to be fine, Luna."

"I'm...I'm pregnant?" The word feels so foreign rolling off my tongue, but even as I say it something stirs inside me, something I'm sure is just my own mind freaking myself out. "How is this... how long?"

"Six weeks, Lola." Kaden says quietly, his grip on my hand tightening. "Which adds up to when you were sorting things at your parents house..."

"Oh god." I squeeze my eyes shut, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment at Kaden admitting to my parents that we were indecent in there house. "Kaden please will you shut up whilst my parents are here please."

I hear a scoff, and my eyes snap up to see my mum rolling her eyes whilst picking at her nails. "Oh please, Lola, we knew you had been up to no good whilst we hadn't been there. You'd left your scent all over the house, that and we found your headboard with two handsized chunks missing..."

I slap my hands over my ears, wincing at the pain that flares up my arms at the sudden movement. "Oh my goddess, will you guys please shut up!"

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BOOM THERE IT IS FOLKS!!!

I HAVE FOLLOWED THE ROUTE OF EVERY STEREOTYPICAL WEREWOLF PLOT LINE THERE IS

Or have I?

I've actually had this planned for a while, I've just needed the right situation to unveil it, and look at that, I found it.

So Lola is pregnant, our baby Kaden is going to be a father, and there is still a psychotic dark magic practicing rogue out on the run. Sound like a perfect plot line to me.

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Lauryn xoxo