Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Liviana’s POV

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I opened my eyes again and saw my eyes glowing in gold.

I sighed.

I closed my eyes again.

1…

2…

3…

I opened them again and my eyes turned back to its natural blue.

I took a long cold shower before heading to bed.

I stared at the ceiling.

The power that surged through me earlier wasn’t something that I knew I even had in me.

I didn’t even know such power existed.

And the fact that it came from me os even more mind blowing.

I took a deep breath before closing my eyes.

I drifted to sleep.

I saw myself in the forest where I had met my mother for the first time.

I started walking through the forest until I reached a clearing and saw my mother.

She turned to look at me and smiled when she saw me approaching.

“Liviana” she said softly as she opened her arms for me. I smiled and ran to her for a hug.

She caught me in her arms and hugged me tight.

I looked at her face missing her every feature.

Sh caressed my hair and cupped my face.

“My sweet little girl” she said with her sweet smile and soft tone.

“Mom” I muttered and she smiled.

“I feel your energy flowing from you, dear” she said with a smile.

“Really? Is it strong?” I asked her. She nodded.

“Stronger than mine and your dad’s combined” she told me.

It was that strong.

My mother tucked my hair behind my hair as she stared straight into my eyes.

“You seem to have a lot on your mind today” she said and I sighed.

I do.

There are the pack problems.

Then my personal one.

I still had to confront the traitor in our territory.

And I had to keep reaching out to my mate because Amaris has never once shut up about him.

“What is it, sweetie? You can tell me” she encouraged. I looked at her hopelessly.

I leaned my head on her shoulder and I started crying out of frustration.

“Am I not a good enough leader, mom?” I started asking.

“Am I lacking?” I continued on.

“Am I not doing enough for my people that they still end up betraying the pack?” I sobbed.

My mother caressed my hair as she hugged me.

“You’re an amazing leader, honey. You’re not lacking. You never were even when you first started off” she told me.

“The problem is not you. Don’t blame yourself for something that you don’t have any control over. You have done all you can as a leader. Not everyone is as loyal as you, sweetie. You need to remember that” she said.

I’ve been Cresent Moon pack’s acting Alpha at 16. I had learned to be a leader from my father who I grew up with.

I have sacrificed my own life to take up such a big responsibility at such a young age.

I was never selfish.

I have always put my people before myself even if it meant sacrificing things that are important to me.

I couldn’t even agree to be mated because I wanted to focus on my people first before my own relationship.

I know that it’s just one person but still…

“Do not question yourself, Liviana. You may be young but you know more about being a leader than anyone else I know” my mother soothed me.

“You’re special so some people will question you. But you shouldn’t question yourself. You are even more amazing than you can possibly imagine. Trust in yourself, my love” she told me.

“You are Queen material and so much more. Nothing less” she stated and wiped my tears away.

“As for your concern about your mate” she started and I bit my lower l*p.

“I never said anything about that” I said and she chuckled.

“You don’t have to tell me for me to know” she said and I looked at her.

“He’s waiting for you” she said and I woke up.

I sat up my bed then heard something from my balcony.

I got off my bed and opened the sliding door before stepping out as the cool breeze hit my face along with HIS scent.

I looked down from the balcony to see Luan below.

My brows furrowed.

“What are you doing here?” I said.

“I’m here to see you” he said.

“I don’t want to see you” I lied.

He hasn’t properly talked to me for 2 days and he just expects me to be okay with it?

I’ve been trying to reach out to him bit he never even bothered linking with me.

“Please. Let’s talk it out” he pleaded. I chuckled in disbelief.

“Talk it out? We could’ve done that when you just stormed off after almost fighting with my friend” I scoffed.

“Please, Livina” he begged.

I sighed and glared at him.

“I’m coming down” I said as I stepped back and then jumped off the balcony.

I landed on my feet and stood up properly before facing Luan.

We stared at each other for a moment.

“I’m sorry” he said as he lowered his head. I tilted my head to the side as I waited for him to say.

“I can’t control it, Liviana. I can’t help but be overly possessive with you. The mere thought of you being in another man’s arms drives me crazy. It drives me mad, Liviana” he continued.

Luan stared into my eyes.

“The fact that you spent most of your life with that human friend of yours doesn’t alleviate me because I know that despite the fact that I’m your mate…your other half, you’d still choose him over me. And he knows that too so he uses it to his advantage” he said with pain in his voice.

“He’s not a wolf but that does not change the fact that you care for him more than I ever wanted you to” he said as his voice broke.

My heart clenched.

“I realized that I’m never going to be good enough for you. Specially now that we know who you truly are. I’m not even someone superior to you now” he said with a sigh.

“Maybe you were right, Liviana. Maybe I should’ve just let go the first time we met so it wouldn’t be so hard to do now” he said and my heart started beating faster than it ever has before.

Why is he saying this now?

“Maybe we really should’ve rejected each other as soon as we met so we’d be able to move on sooner” he said as a tear escaped his eye but he quickly wiped it away.

“I’m sorry that I had to pester your life, Liviana. Just give me a little more time and I’ll properly let you go” he said and my heart dropped.

Here I thought we’d ‘talk it out’.

“Why are you doing this?” I said blankly.

I felt like I was breaking inside.

But wasn’t this what I wanted?

Didn’t I want him to leave me alone?

To let me go?

All because I wanted to be a good Alpha.

“Because I realized that I was in the wrong” he said and I clenched my jaw.

“I want you to be happy, Liviana. I know that this mate bond is keeping you from doing things you want to do. I know that I’m the one who is making you unhappy” he said.

“How do you know that?” I said with gritted teeth.

Luan looked at me confused.

“How do you know how I feel when you’re not even in my position? When you never even asked? How do you know?” I said slightly shouting out of frustration.

“You never said it but your actions always did” he said and my mouth gaped open.

Me heart hurt.

“It’s okay, Liviana. Maybe this really is for the best” he said with a sigh and forced out a smile.

I clenched my fists.

“Just a little more time and I’ll be able to let you go” he said and I glared at him.

“No!” I growled taking both of us in surprise.

I took a deep breath before massaging my temple.

“You said we were going to talk it out but you haven’t even let me talk” I said calmly.

I looked at him blankly.

“It was wrong of you to cut me off like that without even talking about what happened with me” I started.

“Blake and I have been with friends almost our whole life and I’m not going to deny what the both of us have” I continued.

“He and I have a platonic relationship and nothing more. He is family to me. He always has been that to me. Family” I told him.

“I get that you don’t feel comfortable with what we have for each other but Blake is nothing more than just a family member to me, Luan. What do you not understand?” I said frustrated.

“You want us to let go now? You want us to break the mate bond? After all that has happened?” I asked in disbelief.

Luan looked at me guilty.

“Our relationship is different from Blake and I’s relationship. He and I were bonded by time but you and I were bonded by the moon” I said staring straight into his eyes.

Luan’s eyes softened.

“I don’t feel the same way you feel about me. Atleast not yet. But who knows what the future will bring?” I told him.

His eyes lit up with hope.

“I still have so much to learn about being a leader and being a mate, Luan. I don’t tell you but I’m glad you’re here for me despite the struggles” I said and a smile starts to form on his lips.

Luan walked closer to me and he pulled me to him.

Our lips met.

We shared a slow and passionate k**s.

I had miss this.

This closeness.

This bond.

This feeling.

I missed it.

Just like how I had missed Luan.

Yes, I missed him.

But I’ll never tell him that.

I’ll never tell him how I had thought of every k**s we ever shared.

I’ll never tell him how I had missed his scent.

I’ll never tell him how I had longed for his warmth.

I’ll never tell him how I had craved for his touch.

I’ll never tell him how I had denied multiple times that I wanted to see him when I did.

I’ll never tell him how much I care for him.

I’ll never tell him how much I need him.

I’ll never tell him how much I want him.

I’ll never tell him.

But I hope he somehow finds out anyway.

“Please don’t let me go” I said as our lips parted and a smile formed on his lips.

“Okay, my love” he said making me smile.