Chapter 36
Translator: Kay
ââ¦â¦.Haa, the same thing is pouring out1.â
Did I choose words that were not noble enough? Benjamin heaved a sigh with an expression that was somehow disconcerting and swept his face.
Now that I thought about it, he was the most formidable criminal in the Empire whose existence no one else could match.
I glanced up at Felix. He looked at me and then at the faint blue glow at his fingertips before quietly extinguishing it.
He was really trying to use magic.
Our conversation was spinning around without compromise.
In the first place, the ideas themselves were very different from each other, but this was not how a conversation was supposed to proceed.
Benjamin intended to turn Claudia into a doll no matter what, and I was a thorn in her side2, who inspired her free will.
âYour Grace, if you have nothing more to say, we shall go back.â
Felix broke off the unpleasant silence with a sharp blow.
He seemed to have decided that there was no need to continue the conversation any longer.
âOh, my God. Was it uncomfortable?â
âYouâre the one who made rude remarks. Donât ever let this happen again.â
âI donât exactly have any recollection of doing that.â
âYou better not think of calling for Irene ever again.â
Even if he tried to be polite because his opponent was a duke, it seemed very difficult. No matter how patient he was, he must have reached the limit.
But you held it together3, Felix. Great job, Felix!
The eyes that glanced up and down at me were unpleasant and creepy. It was as if a snake was wrapping itself around my body.
âDidnât the lady look at me with a heartrending glance in the past?â
âEven when I was burning a cigarette.â
Benjamin chuckled as he chewed the cigarette that he was biting at an angle with his teeth.
âMaybe the ladyâs preference has changed.â
I thought he had tried to attract me to his side because he was interested in gaining the information I knew.
Was it only to confirm that I had changed?
âCrazy. I feel creeped outâ¦â¦.â
Benjamin had more insight than I expected, so I got goosebumps all over my body, but that was all.
It was great to discover that I had turned into someone else, but so what? That was not my weakness at all.
Didnât you think I might have prepared myself for that?
Through Martina, all the information about me has been manipulated to match the current Irene Amber. Every single piece of information you bought was fabricated.
âYou must be mistaken.â
I flatly denied it.
Irene Amber, in the original, may have had a terrible crush on Benjamin, but there wouldnât be any hint of it now.
âHmm, I thought my eyes that read of desire were pretty accurate.â
I was sure it was. Since Benjamin stood at the center of crime, it was inevitable that Benjamin would be good at penetrating through the bottom of human beings and understanding their hearts.
âIt certainly only reads of hate and livelihood right now. You look at me with those eyes.â
As if he couldnât understand, he blinked his reptile-like eyes and spoke in a strange voice.
âI want to dig it out.â
Before I could comprehend the sentence, a piercing sound broke out. All of a sudden, a fierce murderous atmosphere stabbed the air, and chills ran down my spine.
âYour Excellency, I have told you that we are heading back.â
I couldnât figure out what had happened.
Felixâs fingertips flinched, causing me to look back at him with a blank expression.
The blue eyes, which I initially thought were cold, were now boiling like lava.
At the same time, like pitch-black darkness where not even a single ray of light could reach, I could not read any emotion.
Simultaneously, the leather on the back of the sofa where Benjamin was leaning on fell unsteadily. The cotton filling that was inside scattered and fluttered in the air.
It was right next to his head, where he could reach with just a slight movement of his head.
Benjamin fiddled with his earlobe in silence and then smirked and laughed when he saw the light blood on his fingers.
âThe couch must be very old.â
Once again, the gaze of the two men entangled in the air. This time, I didnât think it would work even if I made an absurd comment.
I had never seen Felix so angry before. Where the hell did all that emotion come from?
By the time the suffocating sense of terror ran through my whole body, Benjamin spoke to Felix with his eyes pinned on him.
âIn the rice field there lies the eyes of a hypocrite who deceives desires. If you peel off the smooth shell and dig down to the bottom, the essence will be the same monster as me.â
ââ¦â¦.â
âYou have to do what you want to do. Isnât it right? Itâs the creed of the spirit. Happiness is something that oneself wins from oppression. Thatâs how Iâve lived all my life.â
Benjamin spoke in a soft tone that did not suit him and began to talk nonsense to us.
No, if you wanted to live and act on impulse, instead of being born as a person, you would just be born as a beast. It was such an absurd logic that I had nothing to say about it.
âI also have my own desires. Is there anyone who doesnât have such a thing?â
âOh, Iâve heard of it. Youâve made it clear that yours is about money. Itâs nice to be honest with your desires.â
Oh, he heard it well.
Well, I had been making it very obvious. As I imagined what rumors Benjamin must have heard about, he went on.
âActually, the Chamberlains arenât the only one in the world who can afford it.â
Everyone knew his identity. He pulled up the corners of his mouth.
As the ruler of the underworld, it wouldnât be a bluff, butâ¦â¦.
I really didnât know how to react. You wanted me to transfer to a nuclear waste like you just because you have more money?
I wasnât even shot in the head4. So why would I make such a crazy judgment?
âIâm sure it all began because of money.â
Well, I wouldnât deny that. I was a human who was faithful to my desires.
However, despite being constantly overwhelmed by desire, I had a firm belief.
Once a person entered my heart, even if everything that originally made up that person changed and disappeared, I would accept them.
âEven if they become dog fur, I will remain by the Chamberlainâs side until the very end.â
âYou will regret it.â
âNever.â
âThen, be willing to accept the consequences of your choice. I will listen to the shell of a hypocrite with my own hands.â
âYouâll see all the way down to the bottom yourself. With your own eyes.â
Benjamin declared war openly in front of me that Felix would become the devil. Of course, he said it because he thought I would not understand it.
Ahâ¦â¦. Thank you for the hint.
I will be ready.
âI began this with the determination to accept no matter what was at the bottom.â
After saying that, I took Felix by the hand and walked out.
T/N: Thanks for your patience everyone! (So sorry about the late post again! { (ï¼âï¼) } There was a range of reasons but I wonât dwell on it. My apologies again!)
(Did you notice there are fewer footnotes this time? XD Luckily this chapter was an easier chapter ahaha). Please enjoy the next few chapters~
1. When words âpour outâ it means that to freely express (an emotion) and/or to talk freely about (something personal)â©
2. âThorn in her sideâ is to be a constant or persistent cause of annoyance, frustration, or trouble for one.â©
3. To âhold (held) it togetherâ means to remain calm and composed, especially in the face of adversity/crisis.â©
4. The idiom âshot in the headâ means to really like something e.g. similar to being smitten.â©