The man did not back away nor did he let go of her. He lowered his eyes to watch her: âYou left silently for two years. It wasnât easy for me to finally find you. Do you think Iâll let you go so easily?â
âOtherwise? Does Mr Li think that I will return to being an outsider in a marriage? A third party who knows she is a third party but insists on being that shameless?â Feng Ling watched him calmly: âIâm very rational. It has been a long time since we last met. I donât have any resentment or questions. If Iâm not trying to cling onto anything, what right do you have to cling onto me?â
Li Nanheng tightened his grip on her shoulders. âDo you remember, I told you to wait three years for me?â
Feng Ling appeared as though she had heard a joke. A mocking smile appeared on her originally expressionless face. She raised her arms and waved his hands aside. As she brought her keys out to unlock her door, she answered him mildly: âI donât remember anything I shouldnât remember. Please take your leave now.â
âFeng Ling, give me an opportunity to explain. There were things that happened against my will. Itâs because I had responsibility to bear. I...â
The room door was unlocked. Feng Ling pushed the door open as she turned back to look at him: âI know a lot of matters cannot be easily explained. If you truly wished to explain, you would have explained this to me before you even got married. Thereâs no need to say anything more. Iâve already placed everything down. Thereâs nothing else for us to say to each other.â
After saying this, she entered her apartment.
The door met some resistance as she tried to close it. She turned back to look at the manâs palm pressing against the door. She glanced at it indifferently and moved her hands away. She then turned back to face him head on. âDo you plan on coming in? Li Nanheng, you were once like this as well. You said you wanted to step into my world and you insisted on doing so. No matter how many times I tried to raise my defenses against you, you broke them down over and over again. And then? When you finally had what you wanted in your hands, you left without looking back. What about now? Do you still want to come in? Indeed, itâs quite impossible for me to stop you. What will you do?â
The short haired woman in front of her had lost the youthful attitude she had in the past. It was the difference between a young girl and a woman. Her gaze was even more indifferent than it had been when she was in the XI Base. It also contained the experience and a determination he had never seen before, and the honesty he did not wish to see.
Anger and pettiness were evidence of deep love. Fear, hatred and resentment were proof that she once loved.
But there was nothing contained in her eyes.
Her gaze was indifferent to the point where he could not find any evidence that he once existed in her world.
Li Nanheng slowly lowered his hands. After watching her for a long while, he spoke hoarsely: âRest early.â
Feng Ling did not answer. She expressionlessly shut the door with a âpengâ sound and moved to lock the door from inside, completely blocking the man out from her world.
It was quiet in this room, but perhaps because it was extremely lively outside right now, it caused the space in her room to feel even quieter.
This quiet was slightly different.
Feng Ling stood in the entryway. She did not move to look at the tightly shut door behind her.
...
The next day, early morning.
The festive atmosphere was still present. When she tugged aside her curtains, she could see the snow-covered ground and the couples running together in the early morning.
The lights on the Christmas tree were already turned off, but the colourful decorations continued sparkling under the morning sunlight.
Feng Ling usually did not have any plans early in the morning. Her classes usually began at ten in the morning, or one in the afternoon.
She fried an egg for herself and toasted two pieces of bread. She then spread some blueberry flavoured jam on the bread and laid some vegetables and ham on top. She directly cut the sandwich into half and ate it.
After breakfast, she put on her coat and prepared to go for a jog. Even though she had already left the base and there was no need for her to train everyday, she had grown used to the routine. The moves she did when she taught the students were completely insufficient. She needed to at least run two to three kilometers a day to feel comfortable.
She opened her door and was about to step out when she noticed the figure standing by the hallway windows from the corner of her eyes. The moment she lifted her head, she saw that Li Nanheng was standing there. The man stood by the windows, against the direction of the sunlight.
She was startled. She lowered her head to check the time on her watch before turning back to look at the man.
Upon hearing the door unlock, Li Nanheng turned back to look at her: âSlept well?â
The man was still dressed in the same set of clothes, while the air was filled with a thicker scent of cigarettes. She glanced back and saw that there were indeed more cigarettes on the trashcan.
âYou stayed here all night?â She turned back to look at her.
The manâs back was facing the sunlight as he watched her. He did not answer her question and only said: âAt least I didnât disturb your rest last night.â
Feng Ling watched him speechlessly. Her gaze was as indifferent as eve.: âAnd so, instead you chose to release secondhand smoke by the entrance of my home?â
Li Nanhengâs brows moved slightly. He lifted his head to look at the air vents and air-conditioning in the hallway: âI saw the words âsmoking areaâ written by the staircase. Besides, your apartment door is very well made. The secondhand smoke shouldnât have affected you.â
Feng Ling really admired the way Li Nanheng was as shameless as ever. She held onto the handle of her apartment door: âWhy are you guarding my house? Iâm going out to work. I donât have the time to deal with you. Didnât I tell you to leave last night?â
âDid I say that I was leaving?â
Feng Ling furrowed her brows: âSo? I donât have anything I wish to discuss with you. Iâve already said it once last night. Let me repeat this again. Iâve already placed the past behind me. I donât wish to mention any of it. Iâm heading to work now.â
The man placed one hand in his pocket. He first lowered his head and lifted one corner of his lip to sigh with a smile. He then looked back up at her with raised brows: âI donât have anything I wish to discuss either. Go and work. I wonât disturb you.â
âThen leave.â
âWhere am I supposed to go?â
âTo your hotel. To Los Angeles. Back to your car. Or return to the place where everything belongs to you. Go wherever you like. Itâs unrelated to me.â
âWho told you that Iâm living in a hotel?â
â...â
âI drove here directly. Iâve been sleeping in my car for several days. I havenât been eating well or sleeping well. After meeting you, I was even stabbed by your words more than a thousand times. Right now, my mood is extremely poor.â The man watched her, appearing as though this was the way things were supposed to be. âI stood outside your place for an entire night. Go work if you need to. Iâll go in and sleep.â
Feng Ling: â...â
âYouâre going into my house to sleep?â
âDo you have any problems?â
Feng Ling suspected that this man truly did not understand what shame was: âI donât think there are any reasons for me to keep you.â
âLast night, werenât you afraid I would do something to you if I go in? Thatâs why I didnât disturb you. Since youâre heading out now, canât you let me go in to catch some rest?â
âNo.â
Feng Lingâs refusal was firm.