Chapter 43: 43

Word Count: 1821

~Avila

I pace back and forth across the room, trying to ignore the pressing heat of Vade's stare.

We've already moved on to the next safehouse. The staff have been split into others across the town, while we have been sent to a place further away from the manor with a few guards.

At any point we are at risk of being found by Emerick, but it's the last thing I'm thinking about right now.

"That's really not what's happened, Avila. I'm sure of it," Vade says, rubbing a hand down his face.

He doesn't seem to find issue that there is dark magic in my blood, trying to assure me there is nothing wrong with me now. Yet, he doesn't believe the magic is in my blood because I've been brought back to life.

"What else could it be?" I question, pausing my pacing to face him with my hands propped on my hips.

"Anything but that. That is impossible." His tone is soft, like he almost feels bad that this is the conclusion that I've reached.

I huff out a breath. I know I'm not crazy.

"What is more impossible is that I came back to life for no reason at all," I bring up, eyeing him pointedly.

He considers that, sitting on the edge of a bed that probably hasn't been touched in months. This safe house is small, but thankfully we have some privacy in this room for now.

"I just don't want you to worry too much," he soothes, patting the bed next to him. "There is a lot going on, and figuring this out shouldn't be taking up so much space in your mind."

Sitting myself next to him, I thread my fingers through my hair.

It's all I think about at this point. Vade is right, there is so much happening around us that should be commanding my attention, and although it is, I can't get this out of my mind.

What if I am an imposter? What if I am infected my dark magic and I'm going to cause something terrible to happen?

"I need answers," I insist.

Vade sighs through his nose. "What If the answer you get only complicates things more?"

"If I can't regain all my memories from before I died, I at least want to know what happened in me coming back." I rub my hands down my thighs, feeling my damp palms. "I mean, I need to make sure it doesn't happen again..."

"If dark magic is involved, then how you were brought back was likely not very...pleasant." Vade grimaces. "Someone made great sacrifices to bring you back, if it is true."

I shudder. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. The question is, who would make such a sacrifice for me?

I glance at my mate, seeing the exhaustion in his expression, in the dark shadows beneath his eyes. Still, he looks so utterly beautiful, even with mussed brown strands and a tense look about him. Even though I know in this moment I trust him, that I care deeply about him, I know there are more secrets he is withholding for what I'm sure he thinks is my benefit.

"It wasn't you bringing me back to life, was it?" I ask, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

He blinks. "Me?"

"Well I am your mate. You have reason to bring me back more than anyone else," I remind him, shifting back on the bed until my back is against the limp pillows.

Vade turns to me, a shadow passing over his face.

"I suffered greatly in the wake of your loss, but I would never interfere with nature in such a way," he assures me, the seriousness of his tone giving me no room to not believe him. "Not only would I have no access to that, but bringing you back could have caused you more suffering then happiness, especially due to my inexperience. I wouldn't have taken that risk, even if I wanted so desperately to."

His tone gives away the slightest hint of the pain his still harbours. I may be here, in front of him and perfectly alive, but I know the effects of dealing with his mate dying took a toll of him he still recovers from.

"So it's really not you?" I shake my head in disbelief. I was so certain...

He just shakes his head solemnly. "No, Avila. It's not."

"Who then?" I throw my hands up. "I really thought it had to be you or Emerick."

Vade's eyes darken. "Why did you tell me you were going to see Emerick?"

I pause. In hindsight I've realised leaving was the worst thing I could have done. Part of me still thought that there was something redeemable about Emerick despite all the lies that he has told me.

"I knew you would stop me, and I've been so desperate for answers I couldn't help myself," I admit, shrugging sheepishly. "I also needed to make sure he knew that I would expose him were he to tell the public about me being brought back to life."

Vade shifts closer so he's lying with his back against the headboard too. I anticipate anger, but he turns his head and gazes at me softly.

"I just hate knowing he got to be near you for even a moment. Then he went and locked you up..." he breaks off, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself.

I slide my hand into his, feeling his warmth, the pressure of his hold as his fingers entwine with mine.

"In his weird, demented way he thought he was protecting me," I mumble, my chest deflating as I release a long held breath.

Vade frowns. "Yeah, from himself."

I swallow, looking away. I'm choosing not to bring up my flashback of seeing hand prints around my neck. Emerick was hurting me, and fuelling Vade's anger doesn't seem like the right plan when we are hiding out in a  safehouse.

"We will find him again, and he will be punished," I assure him. "I know now that I don't want to protect him. If he tries to make contact with me again, I'll ensure you know about it."

"Good." He releases a breath, relieved to hear that. "I hope you know if I see him again, I'm going to kill him."

I shift uncomfortably. If Vade wants to stop his brothers tyranny, he can do that. I just don't want to think about a man who I once loved before murdered by his own brother.

"He's your brother. It's in your hands," I murmur.

Vade brushes some hair from my forehead tenderly. "I just need to find the bastard."

"I still think my idea of luring him out would work..."

He drops his hand and stares at me, his brows drawing together. His jaw is tensed so hard, and his eyes are so dark even I have an uneasy feeling crawling over my skin.

"Absolutely not. I cannot put you at risk like that." His voice alone makes it clear that he isn't going to budge.

"Emerick won't hurt me. Not like that," I insist. He may have hurt me, but he didn't want to kill me. He wouldn't have kept me away from the manor if he did.

"If you dying before taught me anything, it's that I'll do anything to make sure it doesn't happen again." Vade's grip on my hand tightens, the same sense of anguish I briefly saw earlier returning.

"Alright. For now we wait for my father to arrive with his guards, then we can talk about this again." I give him a long look, letting him know that he can't just shut this idea down yet.

If anyone can get to Emerick, it's me.

Venn releases a breath, offering me a smile. He still holds much of his tension, but when he looks at me, there is a softness about him I know only I can get out of him.

"I'm just so happy you're safe," he murmurs.

"Me too. When Valery told me what was happening, I thought I was going to lose you," I whisper, my throat tightening at the thought.

I can't imagine what I would do without him...He had to face that reality once, and I can only hope I never do.

"You could never lose me, alright?" His hand cups the side of my face, turning my face to look at him.

I can't help myself, sitting up so I can lean close enough to kiss him.

I melt into his arms, the feeling of him against me relieving all my worries, pressing them to the very back of my mind.

He winds one arm around my waist, tipping me back until I'm lying flat on the bed. He shifts on top of me, the weight of him above me making me shudder with pleasure.

My fingers delve into his hair, letting the silken strands flow through them. His mouth explores my mouth, slowly, like we have all the time in the world.

I let him kiss me at his pace for a few minutes before my impatience gets the better of me.

Gripping the front of his shirt, I tug him closer, feeling him seated between my legs. Slowly, I drag my hands down his front, feeling the ridges of his abdomen, right down to the waistband of his pants.

He groans in my mouth as I start unbuttoning his pants, desperately wanting them off him, wanting to remove any barriers between us.

However, he pulls away from me, breathing heavily.

"Fuck..." He squeezes his eyes shut like he's in pain.

"Why are you stopping?" I protest. I reach up to grab the sides of his face, but he pulls back, still straddling me, but leaned up so I can tempt him into kissing me again.

"I want to have my way with you, but with your mother in the next room, I think we should refrain." He nods his head to the door.

I huff out a breath. He's right. That is a boundary I really don't want to cross.

"I suppose...This is torture." I press the heels of my hands into my eyes. I want privacy. I want my mate, my husband all to myself.

Vade's grin is amused, his eyes hazy. "Soon, I promise."

A pounding knock on the door makes me jump.

"Is this pressing?" Vade calls out irritably, not taking his eyes off me, which now roam aimlessly down my body.

"I would think so." The familiar sound of a guard's voice floats through the door. "The King's guards have arrived. It's time to go."

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