Auntie Chen was there to greet us when we arrived back at the White Lotus palace. It was clear from her restless expression that Auntie had been very worried and anxiously awaiting our return.
âCrown prince and Lady White Lotus, I am so happy that you are backâ¦â Auntie said as relief flooded her voice and facial features. I wondered for a moment if she had seriously considered that I could have been executed and then decided not to think about that gruesome scenario any further.
âPlease leave us,â Ren said as he lifted a hand to signal to all that they should leave.
Auntie and the maid bowed simultaneously before quickly taking their leave. Soon it was just Ren and I in the large hall of the palace and the silence crept up on us. Ren had not said anything to me on our ride back to the palace and I could sense that he was waiting for us to return to the palace before we would have our real talk.
I spent the time in the carriage composing my words of what I wanted to say to him. Although, I wouldnât say that my efforts were completely fruitful.
âShould weâ¦go to my roomâ¦?â I asked in a small voice.
I believed that we needed privacy and peace to discuss whatever it was that we needed to. I watched as Ren turned to me and nodded. It was like we had the same thing in mind.
After reaching my room, I invited Ren to take a seat on the long wooden sofa. There were some food, dessert and liquor laid out neatly on the table waiting for us. Undoubtedly, this was Auntieâs doing. That woman is truly thoughtful to have prepared a little feast for Ren and me.
I wanted to serve him tea instead of the alcohol placed on the table but I didnât want to call on the maid because that would disturb our privacy and so I decided against it. While I was busy deciding in my head what I should do next, Ren made the decision for me.
âSitâ¦â Ren said as he patted the spot next to where he was seated.
I nodded as I slowly sat down next to him. Now that we were alone and in private, I could feel even more tension between us. This awkwardness between us is driving me insane with stress. There were many sentences that I composed during the ride back here; however, none of those words would come out of my mouth now that I was sitting very close to Ren.
Perhaps, things would be easier if I just said what I honestly felt. Would that work? I wonderedâ¦
âRenâ¦are you still mad at me?â I asked hesitantly.
âOf course, I amâ¦â Ren replied immediately.
I guess I figured that that would be the caseâ¦
âIâm so sorry, Ren. I donât knowâ¦how to apologize to you properlyâ¦â I said, honestly.
âIâm listeningâ¦â Ren said as he turned to look at me.
I felt so small and intimidated by him but at least, he was willing to listen to what I had to say now.
âIâm sorry for not listening to you. I know I did many foolish and selfish things without thinking about the results of my actions or their impact on you. I probably hurt you tooâ¦Iâm so sorry, Ren,â I said in a shaky voice.
I had to stop when I felt tears in my eyes and my own voice cracking up. Iâm about to cryâ¦againâ¦
When I glanced up at his face, my eyes met his beautiful brown ones and saw that he was watching me. It made me feel shy and ashamed at the same time.
âListen to me, Rinâ¦â Ren said as he reached out and took my hand into his much larger one.
His hand felt so warm as it held mine. I nodded my head slightly.
âThere are many forces at work and many political factions in the palace. As much as I donât want to get you involved, you are already somehow involved because you are the Lady White Lotus. I know that you donât understand fully what is going on but that is all the more reason why you must obey me and do everything that I say. Do you understand that now?â Ren explained patiently.
âYes. Iâll obey you from now on. I promiseâ¦â I said passionately.
âGood. Well, that is thatâ¦â Ren said as he smiled sweetly at me and patted my head.
Well, admittingly that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I knew that Ren had been very kind and patient with me, but his sudden kindness still took me by surprise. I smiled a little back at him before I realized that I havenât said all that I wanted to say.
âRenâ¦â I called his name softly.
âWhat is it now?â Ren asked.
âThank youâ¦for standing up for me and for requesting for me to study medicine. I wonât disappoint you; I promise. I will be the perfect student and I will become a royal doctor and then the other women in the empire will be allowed to study medicine tooâ¦and thenâ¦and then there will be more than enough doctors to help cure people of sickness!â I said with excitement and determination.
It was a far-off dream, and I knew that it wouldnât be easy to achieve. However, I was on track to start taking my first step.
Ren looked at me with round eyes before he burst out laughing. I cocked my head to the side as I wondered what about what I had just said was making him laugh so loud. What was so funny?
âRenâ¦whatâs so funny?â I asked, feeling a little insecure.
âNothingâ¦itâs justâ¦I admire your spirit and determination, I guessâ¦â Ren managed to say in between his laughing.
âI seeâ¦â I said, not fully satisfied with his explanation and the fact that he was still laughing at me.
However, it was good to see Ren back to his old cheerful self. At least, when he was alone with me, I wanted him to be content and just be himself. It felt amazing to finally have Ren back.
âItâs just like I told the emperor. You suffered from this incident even if it was partly your fault. I wouldnât allow something like this to pass without us gaining something in returnâ¦â Ren said with a calculating smile.
--To be continuedâ¦