"Why the fuck are you touching her like that", Destiny scoffs
"It wasn't-... I didn't-
"Her wrists are bleeding!"
He looks so surprised and regretful, "Amariah I'm sorry-
"Move before I pepper spray your ass", D says as she guides me away from him and back towards the building
"You ok?"
I swallow, "Yeah..."
"What was happening?"
My visions all blurry and there's this tight knot forming inside my stomach, no not again. Please not again, I was just getting better.
"Amariah"
I intake a breath once we're back inside, I can hear clapping coming from where all the guests are. Oh no, I missed mama's speech.... she's gonna be so upset.
"I'll be fine"
"You don't look ok, was he threatening you?" She asks softly
"Thank you. But can we talk about this later?"
Destiny sighs before following me back into the room, I literally drowned everything out as I was making my way back over to the table. I was receiving frowns from my sisters because of how I only came back just now.
Everything was sounding like an echo
I need my parents, I need someone. But I can't just ruin their day because of my little panic attacks, everyone's having a good time.
"What took so long?", Xavier asks
I look through my purse and he frowns, "Ree"
I blink, "Yes?"
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah I just need the bathroom" I continue to rummage through my purse before finding what I'm looking for
Xavier isn't buying it
"Where've you been?"
"I'll explain when I'm back"
"Ok", He eventually replies
So he's the only one who knows I've left yet again, I didn't even bother bringing my phone with me.
*
I sniff as I look up to avoid crying, I'm really trying not ruin my makeup but it's quite hard. The more I tell myself not to cry, the more my eyes burn. Tears are forming in my eyes anyway so I just thought fuck it and continued with rolling my blunt.
I hear the sound of someone climbing up beside me momentarily, low and behold it's my dad.
"You really love sitting on high walls don't you"
"How did you find me"
"Well Xavier was looking for you, but I told him I'd come find you"
He then looks at the blunt, "Here let me. I'm quick at it"
I raise my brows a bit but give it to him anyway thinking be my guest.
"Wanna tell me what's making my daughter sad?"
I wipe the corner of my eye as I look ahead at the trees, "Sorry, I didn't mean to miss the speech"
"I know. So what happened?" He asks softly
I avoid his question for a moment
"Are you ok with mom having male friends?"
"The only male friends she has are Justus and Darnel"
"But those are your best friends"
"I know, but there's no need for her to make more and she's not interested in it either"
But I'm not interested in doing that either....
I don't reply and he looks over at me, "Why, does Xavier not want you to have male friends?"
"It's not like that"
"So what's it like"
I sigh, "It was just one in particular he didn't like. I had one and I was just trying to be extra kind because he was going through some shit, Xavier didn't like him because of some altercation and he was saying that the guy had feelings for me but I didn't believe it. But even so I took a step back because I thought that maybe I was being too friendly"
My dad continues to listen
"And now I-... just a couple minutes ago when I went to the limo he was here, and he was asking me why I was avoiding him. So I told him, and he admitted that hes liked me since seven minutes in heaven at Blair's party"
"So you guys have kissed?"
"Well yeah but it wasn't like properly intimate, three seconds and that was it" I promise
"Maybe the three seconds felt different for him than it did for you. What were you thinking about during that time?"
"Xavier", I answer honestly
It was the moment I had come to terms with the fact that I love him.
"Ah so this is a one sided love triangle"
I scoff at him, "Daddy"
"What?"
"There's no triangle, I don't have feelings for him"
He nudges me playfully, "I mean it's pretty clear where your heart lies, although I was really hoping you could escape the boy drama for another couple of years"
"Was I wrong?"
"For looking out for someone? No. I always tell you if someone needs help then you help them, but why do I get the feeling that this wasn't what made you upset"
I love how my dad listens to me and lets me finish talking without interruptions.
I sigh, "He kept mentioning a gun, he was saying that someone gave him the one I used so he could clean it and he basically figured out that I had been the one who used the gun. Talking about it was really triggering me, he also said something else that pissed me off so at that point I was just trying to go back inside. But he-
"He what?", My dad questions. Almost as if he's daring me to say that West put his hands on me
I turn my wrists so that they're facing upwards and the red marks are revealed, there's also the bleeding that was caused but that's drying up now.
By now something had completely taken over my father, something I hadn't seen before. His jaw clenched and he had this look, you know the saying if looks could kill? Well right now Weston would be dead if my dad was looking at him.
"Give me a name"
"Wait-
"Keilyn, do not protect this boy"
"I'm not, but please whatever you do just wait until the ball is over" I beg
"The name?"
"West", I reply quietly
He gives me a kiss on the head, "I'm sorry he did this to you. But this is the last time a boy puts his hand on you and thinks he can get away with it"
"Believe me I don't wanna see him again or anything but daddy you need to know that he's hurting because he's hurt"
"Why am I not surprised", Dad mutters
"Explain", He then says
"I don't know the full details but his dad's the chief, and he abuses both him and his mom...."
"Well this shit just got a lot worse didn't it"
Indeed it did
By the time we'd gone back inside the main courses had come out and everyone had started eating, I felt a little better since talking to my dad but now it's time to face reality. I'm a little bummed I didn't get to smoke the blunt, but dad let me keep it so that's a positive.
Mama was looking around for quite some time, she was talking to grandma (I'm assuming to ask about our whereabouts) until she spotted us.
Immediately she comes over, "What's going on? Where've you been-
"Come with me for a second", Dad says to her
"What? Why?....she turns to me...-Are you ok?"
I nod with a fake smile but of course mom sees right through it, "I don't believe you"
"That's why I need you to come with me, I'll explain it to you Kota"
After a moment she agrees, "Ok"
"Go get something to eat, we'll be back" Dad says after rubbing my back reassuringly
"Alright"
To be honest I'm not really hungry so I didn't go back to the table, however I could see Xavier coming over to me so I decided to just wait for him. "Ree, what's going on?"
"I-
West came back into the room at about the same time that I was about to start explaining, when he saw me he immediately tried to talk. "Amariah-
"How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stay away from me", I snap
A couple of people look over, I don't like attention but West needs to know that no means no. Maybe I would've actually heard him out if he didn't put his hands on me but regardless I do not have to listen if I don't want to.
Even Xavier seemed surprised by my tone because he knows it's not normal for me to do that, I'm so tired of being nice to people.
West sighs as he walks away carrying a look of guilt.
"Ok I know I said I didn't want you guys to be friends but-
"Do you wanna stay and eat or come and smoke with me?", I interrupt
"You already know I'm down for whatever, but I need to know what's going on with you"
"And I will happily explain it all but not in here"
"Ight"
There's a park just five minutes from here, so that's where we'll go.
*
"Remind me to always listen to you"
"Why?", My boyfriend asks suspiciously
I shrug, "You were right about West"
"So you talked to him"
"I did, and he admitted it"
This isn't news to him so he's not really showing much of a reaction, "Since when"
"Seven minutes in heaven"
Xavier pauses, "Wait a minute-
"Before you start, I never told you that it was him I kissed in seven minutes in heaven because we weren't together, he was a nobody to you and I hated him at the time. I never thought we'd become friends"
He disregards my statement
"So you've kissed West"
"Xavier, come on"
"I'm just saying, you still could've told me"
"I didn't think it mattered, it was just a game" I explain
"Hmm"
I frown, "Are you being for real?"
"Yes"
"Why are you making it sound like this whole thing is my fault?"
"I'm not doing that, but you just told me you kissed him so I'm processing-
"You weren't even my boyfriend at the time so I don't know why you're getting so pressed-
"Ree you're the only one here who's pissed", He replies as his eyes follow me
Is he being serious or am I over reacting? Either way he's getting on my nerves, matter of fact the whole of the male species is getting on my nerves today.
I rub my eyebrow with my thumb, "Alright just go away cause you're getting on my nerves now"
"No we're gonna stand here and talk-
"I have nothing to say-
He shrugs as he leans on one of the poles, "That's fine we'll just stay here until you do then"
I ignore him as I light the blunt in my mouth, I didn't even get to finish telling him what happened but I don't care to share anymore. Annoyingly so though he stayed with me, we exchanged no words as I smoked. He was on the phone to Kaian the entire time.
Lol
"The foods not wack this time", I hear as I exhale
"Yeah I know I had a little bit" Xavier replies to his best friend
"Where you at though, Malik's looking for you"
"I'm with Ree, we'll be back in a bit"
"You'll be back in a bit", I correct
He rolls his eyes as he continues holding the phone to his ear, I hear Kaian's laughter in the background. "Oooh she's sassing you. You're definitely in deep shit"
"I can handle it-
Zay suddenly frowns at me as he leans off the pole, "What is that"
"What?"
He ends the call before lifting up my left hand and I pull away, but he takes it back anyway. "Amariah, what is this"
I pull away with annoyance, "That's what I tried to tell you. But you were too busy getting pissed at me for a game that happened weeks ago-
"Chill out with all that attitude, I already told you I'm not pissed", He tells me for about the hundredth time
"It doesn't look like it"
"I wished you had told me that it was him because that shit matters to me, but that doesn't mean I'm pissed at you"
"I don't ask you to go over every single person you've ever kissed in your life because I don't care, it was in the past-
"Those girls are not in class with me every single day or coming over to my house and catching feelings for me-
"Well I'm sorry for trying to be a good person-
"I don't want you to be sorry, I just want you to try and understand this from my perspective"
I sniff before eventually replying, "I do"
He crouches in front of me and I lean my head against the chain of the swing, I'm way too fucked up to be having this argument right now.
"Talk to me"
"I just wanted to be a good person", I say through my tears
He holds my hands softly, "Listen to me. You are a good person, you're even nicer than most of the people I know. That's the one thing you shouldn't change about yourself baby, there's karma for a reason"
I just keep getting hurt and I'm sick of it. I start dating Xavier, I lose a friend, I shoot Treyvon, I end up getting stabbed. I become friends with West and show him nothing but kindness, and then he puts his hands on me. He was going to start strangling me until Destiny arrived.
Zay strokes my wrists with a look of annoyance, "This is blood."
"I know"
"Why are your wrists bruising, did West put his hands on you?"
"Yes...."
His jaw clenched for a second, but then he looked at me. "How far did he go"
"He would've done worse but Destiny saw what was happening and stopped him"
"I should've come with you to the limo"
"It's ok"
"It's not"
"I told my dad. He's going to sort it out"
Xavier eventually replies, "Ok"
I stroke his cheek softly and he kisses that hand, "You alright now?"
"No, my makeups ruined"
"You're good trust me"
"Are you lying"
"Of course not, check for yourself" He takes my compact mirror out of his pocket before handing it to me and I smile a little
"You have my mirror?"
"I knew you'd forget it"
I checked my face and aside from my eyes hanging a little low I look fine, my setting spray worked wonders.
"See? Beautiful"
"Thank you"
"You're welcome", A kiss is placed onto my head
"Seeing all that rage come from you made me horny"
I've just gone from sad to relaxed
He smiles a little, "I think you've had too much weed"
"Nowhere near enough"
"Uhuh right that's why your eyes are hanging low"
I hold onto his tux as I lean in, "This could've been you too"
"You don't share when you're pissed remember"
I kiss him softly, "Yes. I remember"
"Are we ok?", He asks as his hands skim over my ass
I nod, "We are"
"Good. Alright light it quick"
I raise my eyebrows, "Really?"
"Mhm"
He holds the blunt in his mouth, waiting for me to light it.
About fifteen minutes later we finally left the park
"Where you at?", Malik asks over the phone
"Walking back up now", Xavier replies whilst putting his blazer around my shoulders
"I'm inside with Indiah and pops. He's talking to that white kids mom"
West I'm assuming
"Alright I'll see you in a bit"
We went to the nearest convenient store and got a couple snacks, I was really craving candy which is what I'm currently chewing on. "Why do I feel like we're gonna be here for ages" I ask
"Cause we are. And this is why I never come to this event"
I can see people hanging around outside, mostly because the ball's almost over. But the people outside were mostly parents having a smoke break. I can see my dad standing by the front with mom and my siblings, Zion's there too, talking to them.
"Are you gonna behave?", Xavier asks
"Nah", I admit
My problem is, I become a chatter box as soon as the weed hits my system. I'm just hoping today I tone it down a little.
Zion looks over at us, "About time"
"The store was far", Xavier defends whilst handing him the carrier bag
Zion said that their mom was looking for him so that was his sign to go back inside.
Zay gives me a gentle hip squeeze before going inside with his brother.
I cuddle my mother, "Hi mommy"
"Mhm, hello"
"Are you ok?", Trinity asks me
"Yeah I'm good. What'd I miss"
"Uhhh the chiefs gone, uncle Darnel's speaking to that white boys mom"
"So is everyone leaving early?"
"Nope, but mama shouted at the him in the hallway and made him leave"
"Wow I wish I got to see that"
"Where've you been?", Dad asks me
"Shes been smoking ganja", Mom replies
Trinity snickers and I purse my lips
"I ain't even got the energy to help you quit no more, you have to want it"
wellll unfortunately I don't want it at the moment
"She's right", Dad agrees whilst stealing a couple twizzlers from me
"You literally rolled the blunt...."
Mom looks back at him with an unimpressed look
"See now why am I involved-
"No no no, you don't roll and then wonder how you all of a sudden became involved. I'll deal with you later" She dismisses
"Thanks a lot", He mutters to me
"You're welcome"
"Can you come back inside and hang with us now", Trinity asks
"Yeah let's go"