Gun grunted as he slowly opened his eyes while adjusting to the light. His head was painful to say the least. It felt like something was smashed into his head a million times that he had a hard time remembering what happened the night before. The last thing he remembered was dancing with some random guy and the rest was a blur. He grimaced at the thought of him getting drunk. He hadn't been to any club in years for his alcohol tolerance was low and the last time he tried drinking he ended up sleeping at somebody else's home. But last night was an exception. He felt like he needed to drink alcohol to wash out the nagging feeling he had already buried years ago.
He attempted to get up, slowly cussing along the way as another wave of pain crossed his head. But his attempt was cut short when he couldn't get up not because of the pain in his head but because of the arm wrapped around his waist.
"Mmmmm..." He felt Off tightened his arm around his waist, slowly pulling him closer while nesting his head on the nook of Gun's shoulder. Gun was no longer breathing, literally.
"Good morning," Off mumbled, his arms snaking around Gun's waist pulling him into a full hug. His eyes were still half closed. Off then pulled Gun's head to his chest and went back to sleep, slightly snoring. Gun, now fully awake, had forgotten that his head was actually aching as he listened to Off's heartbeat and shallow breathing. Without a word, he threw all his worries out the window as he closed his eyes and rested his head on Off's chest.
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Five years ago. Off's birthday.
Gun smiled as he clutched the box of freshly baked cookies close to his chest. His multiple attempts of baking the best cookies for Off were out of sheer luck and persistence. They planned to go to the beach later with the gang for their plan last time wasn't pushed through as Off had to go home all of a sudden.
He peeked at his watch, the one Off gave and saw that he still had an hour to prepare. He fixed the ribbon on top of the box and carefully placed it on the table before joyfully skipping to the bathroom.
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They were taking Off's car this time. Gun hummed his favorite song by the 1975 as he tapped his shoes on the sidewalk. He was waiting for his friends who were already on the way. Minutes later, a car honked and stopped in front of him. He joyfully opened the door of the passenger seat where he always sat every time Off drives but was surprised to see someone else sitting there already.
"Hi!" Mild flashed him a smile before waving at him.
He timidly smiled at her before closing the door and opened the backseat where Tay and Arm were sitting. He entered the vehicle and scooted inside while getting a glimpse at Off through the rearview mirror but Off's eyes were straight ahead.
"Okay. Now we're complete, let's go to the beach!" Tay shouted as he attempted to remove the tension in the air.
The beach was not that far but for Gun the ride felt like hours as he watched Off and Mild while he was sitting at the backseat. He knew Mild was a childhood friend but her actions said otherwise as she would fumble through Off's phone looking for songs to accompany them throughout the ride and would casually feed Off some food which the latter also took. He felt a pang of jealousy while looking at them especially when Mild took a picture of the two of them which she posted on Off's IG account using his phone.
That was when he realized that Off didn't have any photos of him on his social media accounts. Well they have lots of photos together but they were kept hidden in his phone, and he didn't even know if they would ever get to be seen by others.
After what seemed to be an unending ordeal on Gun's part, they arrived at a private beach house owned by Arm's family. He tried to approach Off upon getting off the vehicle but he was quickly snatched away by Mild, dragging him by the beach. He lazily adjusted the straps of his bag on his shoulder and walked to where Tay and Arm were.
"You okay Gun?" Tay asked while getting the keys to their rooms.
"Yeah! Just a little tired from the ride," he smiled, fakingly.
"Come on. Let's go to our rooms. Off and Mild will just follow," Arm tapped his shoulder and together they went to their rooms.
He would be sharing a room with Off whilst Tay and Arm would be in one. He placed his bag on the nearby table and looked outside the window. The place seemed relaxing but for some reason his chest felt heavy.
He unlocked his phone and opened his Instagram. He only had small following so by the time he opened the app, the photo earlier was the first thing he saw. Mild was smiling and slightly leaning on Off's shoulder on the photo while the latter had a serious look on his face.
He looked at the caption and bit his lips as a surge of uncertain feeling whipped through his being.
off_jumpol: Soon to be ð.
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"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to youuu. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to youuu."
Mild held the cake close to Off as the latter closed his eyes and made a wish. Gun smiled inwardly and clapped with the others. He was supposed to be bringing the cake for Off but Mild insisted in doing so.
"Woooohh!! Happy birthday friend!"
Tay and Arm shouted as they waved their beer bottles in the air slightly showering them with beer foam. They were gathered around a campfire which they built earlier.
Gun wasn't able to talk to Off ever since they arrived for Mild was always hovering around him.
"Okay everyone. It's time to give Off his gifts," Mild handed him the cake and got something from her bag.
"Here. I know you've been wanting to have this ever since," Mild handed him a small box.
Off opened it and Gun was sure that he saw a hint of amazement in his eyes. It was a watch but he knew that it was not an ordinary watch based on the expression on Off's face. He looked at his bag which contained the gift he was supposed to give Off.
"Wow. Where'd you get this? I've been looking everywhere for this."
"What Mild wants, Mild gets. Happy birthday again."
Gun almost dropped the cake he was holding as he watched Mild kiss Off on the cheeks.
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Off didn't come back to their room that night and Gun couldn't even sleep a wink thinking about where he went. After their mini celebration they took a night swim but he didn't join. So he excused himself saying he had a terrible headache. He wasn't really expecting Off to follow but he was hoping he would. His hopes failed him.
"Good morning!" Mild greeted him as he walked out of the room. His hair was still wet from the shower. He looked at Tay and Arm who just also came out of their rooms, bickering about Tay stealing a spray of Arm's perfume for the nth time. They heard the sound of a door closing and four pairs of eyes directly landed on Off who just came from the next room, Mild's room. He was combing his still damp hair with his hands, oblivious of the fact that he was being stared at.
Gun clenched his fist inside his pocket.
"Excuse me. I forgot something inside. I'll just follow you for breakfast," Gun muttered as he went back inside.
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Gun bit his lips as he sat alone on the bus while silently praying everything's gonna be alright. When he came back inside his room, his sister called him saying his mother got into a minor accident while going to work. Without a word he left the beach house and rode the bus that would take him home without telling anyone.
*Off calling*
*Call ended*
*35 missed calls*
1 message received:
Off
Gun where are you? Everyone's worried about you.
Gun looked at his phone. He was preoccupied by the thought of his mother that he didn't notice that his phone was ringing non-stop.
Off called again but before he could answer the call, his phone died.
"Holy geez!" he muttered as he pocketed his phone.
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"Is there anything you wanna tell me?" Gun asked as they sit on the study lounge. They were currently finishing their requirements for their major. Tay and Arm were at the library while he and Off opted to stay at the study lounge near the gardens.
"Hmm. About what?"
"I know there's something you're not telling me Off."
"Come on. Can you just get to the point and tell me? I'm not a mind reader for me to know what you're thinking."
Gun noticed the irritated tone on his voice. Off was also avoiding his gaze, obviously using their requirement as an excuse not to focus on him.
"What's with you and Mild?"
Gun bit the insides of his cheeks as he let go of the question that had been bothering him ever since they went to the beach. He'd been carrying the burden in his chest for months while making excuses to himself that they were just probably that close for them to act that way.
But as he looked closely at Off, he was reminded of the several times Off ditched him on their dates and the way he suddenly turned cold over the past months. They barely hang out together and he couldn't even remember some of their monthsaries. They only had barely two months before their graduation and his grades had slightly dipped because he couldn't concentrate on some of his exams.
"We're just childhood friends," Off shrugged his shoulders as he answered nonchalantly clearly dismissing the topic at hand.
"Just? Are you sure? Because based on what I see you're not just childhood friends," Gun's gaze bore on Off hoping he'd look into his eyes and assure him that whatever he was thinking was wrong. But the latter just continued writing his paper, completely neglecting Gun's furious reaction to his answer.
"OFF JUMPOL!"
Gun slapped his hands on the table as he stood up, towering over Off who remained unfazed by his sudden outburst.
"If you're just gonna make a scene instead of completing our requirements, then I'll just leave," Off stood up and slid his things inside his bag.
"It's not my fault if you have trust issues," Off said in a condescending tone before leaving Gun.
"Fuck you Off! Fuck you."
âââââ ââ ââ â âââââ
Gun rubbed his eyes, slowly adjusting to the strong sunlight that streamed through the curtains of the room. He looked at the empty space beside him and chuckled. He must have missed Off so much to the point he dreamt of cuddling with him in bed. He hugged his pillow and grunted. He didn't wanna leave the bed but the strong sunlight was telling him that the sun was already high. So he slowly went down the bed while combing his hair with his hand.
"How was your sleep?"
Gun stopped in his tracks as a smiling Off Jumpol went inside his room bringing with him a tray of what seemed to be a meal.
"Breakfast?"
Gun's face looked puzzled as he scratched his head wondering if he was still dreaming.
Off then placed the tray in the bed and dragged Gun to sit. Gun watched as he picked up the spoon and fork and handed them to him.
"You should eat. I bet you're hungry."
Gun didn't respond but instead just stared at Off whose face was filled with a big smile.
"What are you up to?"
Gun couldn't help but ask, still perplexed of how Off was treating him.
But instead of getting an answer, he just felt something soft on his lips and the sound of lips smacking.
"I miss you."