Chapter 282: Book 4 Chapter 41.1: Everything Everywhere All At Once

The portal had only been active for a second when a blur of red came rushing through. Vell and Lee barely had time to smile before a pint-sized ball of love and hugs slammed into them both at once.

“Hey, Harley,” Vell mumbled.

“‘Hey Harley’,” Harley scoffed. She pulled away from the group hug and grabbed Vell by the cheeks. “I haven’t been able to touch your stupid face for a whole year and the best reunion line you got is ‘Hey Harley’?”

“I got a lot going on, Harls.”

“Yeah you do,” Harley said. She announced her forgiveness by jumping into his arms for another hug. “I missed you, you big dumbass.”

“I missed you too,” Vell said. He put Harley down and turned towards the door. “But, as I mentioned, I got a lot going on.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill, plenty of time for hugging after we save the world,” Harley said. She followed Vell out of the teleportation bay and onto the quad, where the rest of their friends were waiting.

“Good to see you, Harley.”

“Same to you, gang,” Harley said. “Excuse me if I don’t hand out hugs right now, there’s an order of operations to this whole save the world/hug thing.”

“Fine by me,” Samson said. “We got a lot to deal with.”

“Presumably something to do with that evil lab currently under construction?”

The new Kraid regime was being inaugurated with the construction of a new laboratory. Since Kraid had usurped so much of the tech industry, he had nigh-limitless resources, and had been able to construct the new lab almost overnight -almost. There were still a few finishing touches being made on the new facility.

“I’ve spent this entire year reusing printer paper to try and save money, and he gets an entire new lab built in a day,” Dean Lichman sighed.

“Kraid engineered that entire budget problem to help him take control,” Vell said. Dean Lichman had gone to protest directly to the Board of Directors last night, and found only their corpses. In retrospect, Kraid’s plan was obvious; put the school in a funding crisis, then offer the Board both the money and the immortality they wanted. They had fallen for the bait, and paid the price for it. “Did you find the Council of Einstein’s?”

“I’m afraid their usual undersea pod appears to have been jettisoned,” Dean Lichman said. “They should be fine, for a time, but a recovery mission is likely impossible under the circumstances. With them out of the way, and Loki as AWOL as ever, I’m afraid Kraid does have complete authority over the campus.”

“Not complete,” Vell said. Even with Helena’s help, Kraid could only manipulate the time loops so much.

“Whatever you got, Vell, it better be good,” Cane said.

“I don’t know that I’d call it ‘good’, but I’m sure hoping it’s effective,” Vell said. He pointed to the lab that was still under construction. “Keep an eye on that thing for me. Maybe see what else Kraid is up to. I need to go strategize.”

Dean Lichman saluted and went to go check on some school records. He technically didn’t have access to those anymore, but since Kraid had fired eighty percent of the school’s administrative staff, no one would stop him. Vell’s friends and allies fanned out while loopers past and present headed for the lair.

Any pleasant nostalgia Vell felt from revisiting the lair with Lee and Harley was undercut by the gravity of the situation. He stepped up to the head of the table and pulled out the chair for Lee, but she walked right past it and settled into a seat at Vell’s right hand while Harley sat down at his left. He hesitated slightly before taking his seat at the head of the table and getting started.

“Alright, uh, from where I’m standing, it looks like we have two big advantages here,” Vell said. “That’s the time loop, and numbers. We can spread out and learn more information faster than Kraid possibly can, and retain that information across the time loop better.”

“Sounds good,” Kim said. “What about sabotage?”

“Yeah, we could blow up Kraid’s lab, throw Helena in the storage locker or something,” Samson said. “That’d set him back.”

“And risk provoking Kraid. He killed us all just for annoying him that one time, if we escalated it further he’d do a lot worse,” Vell said. “He could kill us all in a heartbeat if he felt like it. Our only hope on that front is keeping this a cold war.”

For the time being, Kraid was content to keep Vell and all his friends free and alive -if only for the sake of making their defeat that much more humiliating, and their inevitable deaths that much more agonizing. If they started throwing around bombs and imprisoning Kraid’s allies, he might return the favor.

“So we, what, just stick to doing research?” Samson said. “Seems anticlimactic.”

“Seems safe,” Hawke said. He had far more faith in their ability to outsmart Kraid than to beat him in a fight.

“Let’s get as many people as we can together and form some research teams,” Vell said. “For maximum efficiency we should have at least one looper with every group of non-loopers.”

“For reference, I assume we’re categorized as non-loopers?” Lee said.

“As long as you make sure you send any discoveries to Kim, she can remember on your behalf,” Vell said. “I want you guys out there for maximum efficiency, like I said.”

“Anybody mind if I try to spy on Kraid?” Samson said. “No sabotage, just try to see what angle he’s taking, see if we can’t get ahead of him.”

“I suppose it can’t hurt,” Vell said. “Let’s get to it.”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Alex was the closest to the door, so she was the first to step out, face the world, and immediately shrieked with surprise and fell backwards down the stairs.

“Alex?”

“Sorry,” Alex said, as she rubbed a sore head. “It’s just-”

“I am not ‘just’ anything, Gray Hawk,” Kraid said. He stepped up to lean in the doorway, smiling down into the looper’s ‘secret’ lair.

“Kraid.”

“Hey, Harlan. Just had to come see the place for myself, you know, check out all this time loop nonsense Helena told me about,” Kraid said. “Kind of a lousy secret lair, going to be honest.”

“What do you want, Kraid?”

“I want what I’ve always wanted,” Kraid said. “To run a little experiment. Helena also told me about one of her tests at the start of the year, trying to cause the daily apocalypse on purpose. I think it’s due for a repeat.”

“It’s not going to work, Kraid,” Vell said.

“It might. You see, I have a theory that a bomb just lacks that certain apocalyptic panache. Helena’s problem is that she didn’t go big enough,” Kraid said. “And thanks to studying the rules, I know how to go very big.”

With a dramatic flourish, Kraid produced a small device in his skeletal hand. It took Vell a few seconds to recognize the intercom mic.

“Oh fuck.”

“Attention, students of the Einstein-Odinson College, this is Alistair Kraid speaking,” he began. “I’d like to inform you all that you are currently in a time loop. Every day, disaster strikes, and every day Vell Harlan and his friends have to stop it from happening again, because they’re the only ones that keep their memories.”

Vell’s heart sank into his stomach.

“You’re currently on the first loop, so everything you do today will be erased,” Kraid continued. “Have fun with that information.”

Kraid put the intercom away, smiled at Vell, and walked off. Something exploded before the door had even finished swinging closed. The screaming started seconds later.

“Rule one,” Alex mumbled. “Don’t tell anyone about the time loops.”

The campus shook underfoot. Apparently there was a very low turnover time on havoc today.

“Everyone on campus going coocoo is kind of going to fuck with our plans,” Harley said.

“And risk blowing us up,” Lee said.

“And that.”

“Well we need to do something,” Vell said. “Hawke, you help Samson spy on Kraid. We need to get something done, and that’s our best shot right now. Alex, Kim, you two need to go find Freddy. Last time this happened he built a universe-melter, making sure he doesn’t do that again is our top priority. Lee, Harley and I will sweep the campus and handle anything else that looks like a threat.”

He had a little more to say, but another explosion reminded Vell that they were on a bit of a tight schedule. They sprinted out of the lair and broke into their separate teams.

“That was very authoritative, dear,” Lee said.

“Now I’m mad we didn’t get to see you as the boss sooner,” Harley said.

“I haven’t been doing a very good job at it most of the year, to be fair,” Vell said.

“I’m sure you’ve been doing fine,” Lee said. She could see Vell was not comfortable with the attention, positive as it was, so she changed the subject. “Other than Freddy, do you think we have any priority targets?”

“Probably the Marine Biology department, I guess?” Vell said. “They’ve done heinous shit on accident, I hate to see what they might do on purpose.”

“True that!”

“Vell! Stop!”

Vell stopped. That was Luke’s voice.

“Luke, please tell me you’re not that-”

After turning around, Vell saw that Luke had bedecked himself in a cape and a crown of gold, and wielded a makeshift scepter in his hand. A small army of deranged-looking students followed behind him wearing clocks of various kinds.

“-insane.”

“Vell Harlan, there you are,” Luke said. He raised his crappy scepter high. “Now we can begin!”

“Uh, begin what, exactly?”

“The ascension,” Luke said. He threw out his cape dramatically. “With your mastery of the time loops and my prowess of the laws of physics, we can rule reality itself! Now, take your place at my side, my brother, and I shall rule as King of Time!”

“Hmm, well, no, I am not going to do that,” Vell said. “You’re a little bit insane right now, Luke, that’s not really how this works.”

“Of course it is,” Luke said. “I have the crown and everything.”

“It’s a very nice crown, dear,” Lee said. “But you can’t really ‘control’ the time loops at all, it’s very complicated.”

“Yeah, even we don’t actually know how it works,” Harley said.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, then I guess my entire identity is a fraud,” Luke said. “I’d better go kill myself.”

“Way ahead of you!”

One of the King of Time’s would-be subjects whacked him over the head with a clock, and king and crown fell to the ground together.

“The King of Time is a liar,” the striking student said, before pointing at Vell and friends. “We should eat their flesh to gain their awareness for ourselves!”

“Also not how it works,” Harley said.

“Have you tried it?”

“Well, no,” Vell admitted. The ravenous students started to close in.

“Why would you not just say yes?” Harley demanded.

“Lying doesn’t come naturally to me, I’m sorry,” Vell said. “Also, kind of a moot point.”

“Why?”

A banana-colored wall of scales rammed past them as a mutant sea-snake took out an entire horde of cultists in a single strike.

“That’s why.”

Cavendish the sea snake went chasing after the horde of clock-cultists as her rider dismounted. Skye took one look at the fleeing cultists, commanded Cavendish to give chase, and then took a big bite out of a candy bar she was holding. She gnawed on the candy for only a second before turning to face Vell with a manic look in her eyes.

“Hey, Skye, you’re apparently crazy in a helpful way, which I appreciate, so let’s-”

Before Vell could finish, Skye dove at him and kissed him so forcefully he fell backwards on to the ground. Her lips still tasted like chocolate, which Vell might have appreciated in other circumstances. While energetic, this kiss did not feel particularly romantic. It was ravenous, an impression that was not changed in any way when Skye pulled back and looked down at Vell like a predator who’d caught her prey.

“So, uh, how are you feeling about this whole time loop situation?”

“We’re in a situation where there are no consequences to our actions,” Skye said, teeth bared in a hungry grin. “Morality is irrelevant and our actions are meaningless! The only rational response is to maximize pleasure by any and all means possible.”

“Oh, well, that’s a refreshingly non-violent response to-”

Skye cut him off again by tugging on Vell’s collar so hard his shirt tore a little.

“Shut up and fuck me, Vell.”

“Oh, okay, we’re going full hedonism,” Vell said. “Uh, maybe later? I mean, Lee and Harley are right there.”

“They can watch,” Skye said. “Or join. I’m not picky.”

“I appreciate the offer, but no,” Harley said. She grabbed Skye by the shoulders and pried her off of Vell, causing Skye to hiss and swipe at her like an offended cat. “Consent matters even within a relationship, Skye.”

Harley tossed her aside, and Lee threw up a quick magical bubble to keep her contained.

“We should go,” Lee said. “That won’t last forever, hopefully if she can’t find you she’ll settle for pigging out on candy.”

“Sorry, Skye,” Vell said. He turned and started running away.

“Vell! Get back here and have sex with me!"

“I would love to but things are a little weird right now,” Vell said, without turning around.

“I’ll let you do that thing you like!”

Vell turned and looked over his shoulder. Harley grabbed him by the ear and turned him back around.

“Focus, Vell,” Harley said. “God, how am I the one telling you to be less horny?”

“I was just checking on her, I’m going, I’m focused,” Vell said. “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“I do need to know what ‘that thing’ is now, though,” Harley said.

“And now we’re back to me telling you to be less horny,” Vell said. “Order restored.”

“Come on,” Harley said. “Is it butt stuff? I bet it’s butt stuff.”

“No.”

“BDSM?”

“Also no.”

“Please stop,” Lee pleaded.

“This is going to be in my head forever unless I find out,” Harley said. “Is it a furry thing? Full suit or cat ears?”

“It is not a furry thing,” Vell said. “Can you please drop this? You’re going to forget anyway.”

“All the more reason for you to tell me now!”