âJESUS CHRIST, YOU SLEPT WITH her.â Dean closed his eyes, throwing his head back and rubbing his face tiredly. We were all standing by the grill Vicious was manning. He was flipping steaks and burgers, wearing a scowl and semi-casual clothes, while Jaime was unwrapping baked potatoes and dumping enough coleslaw to choke a fucking giraffe into them for the kids. I placed the burgers in their buns methodically on a long porcelain island in Viciousâ six-thousand square foot garden, ignoring them.
They couldnât know that.
Not from one fucking glance Iâd thrown her way while Iâd thought no one was looking.
âSpit it out, bastard. We want to know.â Jaime laughed, taking a swig of his Bud Light. Behind him, Daria, his six-year-old, was playing with Vaughn and Knight, Viciousâ and Deanâs kids. Lev and Bailey, the infants, were in baby swings at the far end of the garden, with Rosie and Mel watching over them and sharing iced tea. Emilia, Viciousâ wife, was in the kitchen getting everything ready.
And Luna and Edie were in their own little world, lying on the grass, staring at the sky, their arms tucked under their heads. Edie was talking, and Luna smiled a little and nodded a lot, listening. I was dying to be with them, to get closer, to ask them what they were talking about, but sharing this moment with the two of them was exactly the kind of deep waters Edie was talking about.
âWell.â Dean elbowed my ribs, passing by me with a bowl full of potatoes. âDid you or did you not stick your dick in a teenager?â
I looked up from the buns and the burgers, blinking slowly. Sometimes, it was beneficial to be called The Mute.
âI know you want us to fuck off, but come on, we gotta know. Weâre your best friends,â Jaime reminded me, stretching the point by plucking a joint out of his pocket. Dean rolled his eyes, and everybody stopped what they were doing.
âGive it, you little shit. I havenât had a smoke in a lifetime.â Figured. Deanâs wife had a lung disease. He made countless sacrifices for his family, which made me respect him even more than I had in the past. Rosie looked fine. Normal. Pretty. But still sick. So every time he could get away with smoking pot, we were reminded of how not-so-normal his life was. The fucker had a big heart. He willingly wedded what I bitterly acceptedâa situation where we had to take care of someone else.
Dean lit the joint and braced the island, passing it on to me. âCome on, now,â he said, smoke crawling from his lips. âTalk.â
They werenât going to let it go, so I threw them a bone for no other reason than to shut them the fuck up.
âWe have something going on,â I said quietly, not meeting any of their gazes. I took a long hit and passed it on to Vicious, who stared at me questioningly before bringing the blunt to his lips. âItâs nothing. She hangs out with Luna a lot, but sheâs got her own shit to take care of at home, and I have my stuff to deal with. Itâs just casual. For both of us.â
What a fucking understatement that was. Edie wasnât casual. She never had been. But admitting to something else was goddamn crazy.
âShould I be the one to point out that Jordan Van Der Zee is our partner, and that youâre the only person he has beef with?â Jaime asked, taking the joint from Vicious. Dean plucked another beer from a bucket full of ice.
âFuck knows why. Trent is the only person who actually works hard out of us four.â He laughed. Everyone nodded.
âMaybe he really is racist.â Jaimeâs voice was depressed.
âNah. If he were, heâd try to hide it.â Vicious shrugged. âIt goes deeper than that. All I know is that Jord wants to kick you off the board, Trent. I see the way he looks at you. Whatever he has on you, itâs big. He wants you out of Fiscal Heights and he wants you out of his life. His daughter is the perfect excuse.â
âNo one is going to know,â I gritted out, snatching the joint from Jaime. âWeâre careful.â
But even that wasnât true. Two days ago, Iâd had my finger in her ass in the elevator, minutes after she nearly swallowed my cock. We needed to be more cautious, and I needed to stop being drawn to the most dangerous pussy in my vicinity. She was untrustworthy. She wanted to hand her dad all the information he needed on me. Edie Van Der Zee was starting to look a lot like the death of me, and yet here I was, coming back for more and more of her poison. Addicted like a crackhead.
âAre you sleeping with her to get back at her father for trying to get rid of you?â Jaime asked.
I scoffed. âFuck no.â
âDo you have feelings for her?â Dean added.
I rolled my eyes, turning to Vicious. âCan you shut them up for me?â
Vicious shrugged. âDo I look like your errand boy? You seem to know how to take care of yourself pretty good.â
I was about to open my mouth and tell them that, in the very near future, Jordan wasnât going to be a problem for me anymore. Then I heard a shriek coming from behind Deanâs back. I dropped the joint to the grass, hurrying toward the sound I recognized, because Iâd studied it too fucking obsessively.
Luna yelping.
âI havenât done anything to her! I swear!â Dariaâs voice screeched. She was running around the lush, carefully cut grass with her blonde ponytails in little pink bows, wearing the ballet uniform she wore constantly. This one made her ex-ballerina mother extra proud. But she was starting to look and feel and talk like a mean girl.
âOh, no! Luna, sweetie, whatâs wrong?â Mel hurried toward the scene at the same time I did. Edie was on one knee, pulling Luna into a hug. Luna buried her face into Edieâs shoulder, and Edie was shooting an ice-cold look Iâd never seen before at Daria.
âThat was not cool, dude. At all. Did it make you feel good? Hurting her?â
Hurting her? It was the first time I suspected I wasnât above screaming at a child. I wanted to yell at Daria until every vocal chord in my throat tore apart.
âWhat the hell is happening here?â I stopped at the same time Mel did. She looked at me helplessly. We hadnât spoken to each other since I shit all over the date she sent me on. She hadnât mentioned introducing me to anyone since. I considered that a victory.
âI went to get us some lemonade,â Edie was quick to explain, not waiting for guilt-ridden Daria to speak up, âand as I walked back, I noticed Lunaâs seahorse was in Dariaâs hand. She tore it apart and took out the fluff,â Edie reported, tightening her grip on Luna, who cried harder. Edie stood up, and Luna was wrapped around her like she was her child.
And it broke me.
And made me happy.
And sad.
And so, so fucked.
I turned to Daria. Mel did the same. She was fuming, too, and it took some of the edge off, because at least I knew she was taking this shit seriously.
âWhy, Daria? Why did you do that?â Mel crouched in front of her daughter, holding her shoulders. Her voice was soft, but her imploring eyes were urgent. This wasnât the first time Daria had been mean to Luna.
Daria hitched one shoulder, staring at the ground with a pout.
âLuna is so nice to you all the time,â Mel stressed. No one asked Luna anything, because all of us knew we werenât going to get an answer. She was still in Edieâs arms when Daria lifted her gaze slowly and pointed at the far end of the yard. We all followed the line of vision and saw Knight and Vaughn sitting at a picnic table, munching on the burgers Iâd made for them.
âWhat?â Mel asked again, seemingly irritated. Shit. Her kid was boy-crazy at the age of six. Jaime was in for a long fifteen years or so.
âKnight always picks her side.â
âThere is no side. Luna is not against you,â Mel said, her flowery skirt flipping in the wind. I had to calm my rage by averting my gaze to my girls again. Edie pressed Lunaâs head to her shoulder and shook her head, still shaken by Lunaâs reaction.
âHow do you mean, sweetie?â Mel asked Daria.
And had I just thought âmy girlsâ? Shit, I had. Iâd called Edie my girl, even though she wasnât, even though she never would be. But she fucking felt like it right there and then. Like someone that belonged to me, not because I wanted to tap her assâeven though I didâbut because she was made. For. Me.
âKnight always wants to play with her, even when Vaughn and I play a different game. And Luna doesnât even play. Itâs ridiculous. She just stands there, being stupid.â
I took a step forward, but it wasnât necessary. Edie was next to Daria in a heartbeat, and the look on her faceâ¦fucking priceless. She had the potential to be as daunting as her father. She just didnât want to be.
âThatâs enough, Daria. What youâre feeling right now is jealousy. Itâs okay, we all do sometimes. But whatâs not okay is how you chose to act on that jealousy by taking it out on Luna and her favorite toy. I think you owe her an apology, donât you?â
There was silence for a moment. Daria twisted her fingers together, looking horrified and embarrassed, pulling at her pink tutu dress. Luna was watching her from the crook of Edieâs neck, her hands around Edieâs shoulders.
âItâs true.â Melody sighed, staring at me in an I-donât-know-what-to-do-with-her expression. I shrugged. Not my problem.
Emilia walked out of the kitchen for the first time since weâd gotten there, holding a bowl of fruit salad. She put it on the table and rushed to us, wiping her purple hair from her face.
âHey, whatâs going on?â
Melody filled her in. Daria apologized, and Luna finally consented to let go of Edie and go with Emilia to wash her face.
Mel, Edie, and I stood in a small circle afterwards. The sun made everything more angry and heated, and between my anger and Melodyâs obvious embarrassment, I knew we could explode pretty quickly.
âI think Iâm going to go have that lemonade now,â Edie trailed off, turning around and walking into the house. Mel stared at me skeptically, and for the millionth time that year, I thanked God I was the fucking Mute and she didnât expect an actual answer.
I walked into the house looking for Luna and Emilia. I trusted Viciousâ wife. She and Rosie had this thing about them. They made you feel at home, even when you clearly werenât.
I passed by the two empty bathrooms on the first floor, about to walk up the stairs to the bedrooms when I stopped by the stairway. Edie was in Vaughnâs playroom, which was full of toys. Trucks and soldiers and whatnot. She was standing by a slide coming out of a giant castle, fingering something small in her hand. I squinted, trying to see what it was. It was a toy soldier.
She lookedâ¦sad. For the first time, I actually saw it on her. The wariness. The despair. She looked wrecked, and Iâd always been too busy to notice, because this wrecked soul happened to have an amazing ass and a gorgeous pair of tits and a father I loathed. Fuck.
There was no excuse for what I was doing. For me walking into that room and closing the door behind us. For me striding over to her with chaos dancing in my chest, watching her as she lifted her eyes from the toy, reading everything that was inside of mine.
I could say it was because sheâd protected my daughter, but that wouldnât be true.
I could say it was because I saw her layers as she held that toy soldier in her small hand, but that would be bullshit, too.
I did it because I had to. Because fuck the consequences and Jordan Van Der Zee and everything standing between us. For the first time in five years, I put my lips on another personâs and kissed her. Hard.
My mouth coming down on hers was like riding a bike. It came to me instinctively, but at the same time, felt so fucking different I almost choked on that kiss. My hand cupped her cheek and drew her close, and my tongue darted out to open her mouth. She moaned into our kiss and clung to my face as if sheâd wanted to do this since the day weâd met. I held both her cheeks and deepened our kiss, letting the strange, strange notion of my tongue dancing with anotherâs sink in. It was so fucking wet and intimate. I wanted to eat her.
âTide,â I breathed, sinking my teeth into her lower lip and closing them until I heard the familiar whimper of joy. âYouâre such a fucking tide.â
âSeahorse,â she retorted.
âI wish.â
âYou are.â
âMaybe,â I said, sounding unsure for the first time in a long time.
âIâm not your tide, Trent.â Sorrow laced her words, and I knew she was right. She wanted my neck. Bad.
âNo. Youâre my Delilah, Edie, and Iâm your Samson. You want to ruin me, destroy me, strip me of my power, and betray me. I should stay away from you, but I want you too fucking much. And when itâs all over, when all thatâs left of us is sweaty flesh and shattered minds and torn hearts, you will remember me as the man who made you cry, and Iâll remember you as the girl I had to break to stay afloat.â
We stared at each other, almost smiling. What a fucking way to break my rules, with a girl who was both at my mercy and tasted of betrayal. Brushing my thumbs over her cheeks, I crashed my lips into hers, kissing her with abandon and passion and regret. I kissed her with everything I had that was worth taking. We nibbled and bit and made this kiss our fucking bitch, knowing there probably wouldnât be another one. Doing what Iâd been wanting to do since Iâd seen her across Deanâs lawn standing next to her father, sneering at the world like she was ready to declare war on it.
I was opening up to someone who wasnât my parents or my three friends, feeling the walls of something disastrous closing down on me.
Our lips were swollen and our eyes were hooded when we were caught, in the middle of the colorful playroom, propped against a plastic castle with a slide. The door swung open and Vicious leaned against the doorframe, hands in his pockets, examining us with boredom. Knight and Vaughn were standing next to him, each of them hugging one of his thighs, watching us without really understanding what they were looking at. âYou said you were careful. No chance at getting caught.â My friend threw my words back at me mockingly.
My urge to deny everything was crushed by the impulse to claim her. I dropped my hands from her face, but only so I could tilt my body toward his.
âYou need to leave.â
âYou need to come up with a good plan before her father kills you,â Vicious retorted calmly.
âWhat I needââI looked down, trying not to curse in front of the kidsââis your cooperation. Before I snap.â
That made Vicious take a step back. Before he closed the door, I heard him say, âI think itâs time to make some popcorn, kids. These two are going to give us the best show this town has to offer.â