ðð¢ð³ð°ð¹ðºð´ð®- an outburst of emotion or action
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Rose's POV:
Giovanni's words hang thick in the air as I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.
If he's in the mafia, he's probably killed people; lots of them. In fact, he's probably killed so many people that he has lost count by now. That fact should be sending alarm bells off in my head and yet for some equally alarming reason, it doesn't.
Were the people he killed innocent? I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to that question.
If I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm not even truly surprised with his confession. It's almost as if a small part of me knew he was more dangerous than I would've ever liked to admit. And now it's been laid out in the open.
Opening my eyes, I find Gio gazing at me with an emotion I never thought I'd see in his eyes: insecurity. True, raw insecurity swims in his vibrant green eyes and graces every part of Giovanni's features threatening to tear my very soul in two.
"I think s-something is very wrong with me," I whisper, effectively breaking the silence that had enfolded my hospital room.
Concern quickly replaces the insecurity that once shrouded Giovanni. "What happened? Does anything hurt? I'm going to go get Dr. Williams," he rapid-fires and then turns quickly to leave.
"W-Wait!" I manage to get out before he disappears. "That's not what I meant; physically I'm fine, I promise. What I meant is that something has to be seriously wrong with me because you being in the mafia doesn't scare me."
Relief washes over Gio's facial expression as he carefully walks over to the couch and sits down.
"True, but something has to also be seriously wrong with me for being in the mafia in the first place," he says and smirks. The smirk quickly fades as another thought seems to cross his mind. "There's more you need to know before you decide anything."
"O-okay..." I answer uncertainty. I have a feeling that the things he says next aren't going to exactly be kind and that fact has me swallowing a lump in my throat I didn't realize had formed.
"Before I start, I want you to understand that I will never hurt you no matter what happens. I respect you and your choices. If you ask me to leave, I will; its as simple as that. All I ask is for you to listen and communicate with me."
I'm met with a stern look that both tells me this is important and sends butterflies through my body (I choose to ignore the latter). It's the same look he gives me when he tells me to use my words and I can't help but wish he would show this side of him a little more often.
"I trust y-you Gio," I respond with what I hope is a sincere look on my face.
Giovanni quickly gives me a curt nod before his eyes harden and a stoic look crosses his face. "Remember what I told you about my mother?"
I nod while softly whispering, "Yes."
"After she passed away, my father was never the same. I'm not sure why, maybe due to grief or an underlying mental illness, but he began to take his anger out on me. For eight years I was physically, emotionally, and verbally abused. The day I turned eighteen, something in me broke and I killed him. Soon after, I took over his mafia empire and I've been boss ever since."
By the end of his story, im nearly bawling like a baby. Eight years of abuse. He was a child. How could his father possibly hurt his own kid? An innocent child who was trying to work through his own grief after his mother died. Some things I will never comprehend, this is one of those things.
I can't even honestly say I blame him for killing his dad. Like I said before, I trust Giovanni. After being kidnapped by my own father, I understand the lengths one might go to for freedom. Sometimes drastic measures have to be taken to ensure safety. Surviving isn't always pretty.
"I still love you Muffin," I manage to say in between quiet sobs. In this moment I want nothing more than to run into Gio's arms and stay there forever. Unfortunately for me, I am wired to this hospital bed and Giovanni doesn't exactly look like he will be showing any physical affection for a little bit â something I totally understand.
Gio fixes his unwavering gaze at the ground as his hands clench in what I can only assume is frustration. "You don't get it Rosary; I'm a monster. A true, stone-hearted monster and that is all I will ever be. You need to stop for a moment and truly listen to what I'm saying. I'm not a saint."
"I am listening and I've decided that I love you despite your past. And you need to listen to me when I say that you may not be a saint, but you also aren't a monster. You are human and humans are deeply flawed. Yes, murdering is terrible but you were only trying to protect yourself and I can't blame you for that."
Giovanni lets out a dark, humorless chuckle and I involuntarily shiver. "Do you know where your father is right now?"
"No," I say after a few beats. I'm shocked when I discover that I don't care either.
Slowly, Giovanni lifts his head and stares me dead in the eyes, "He is locked up in one of my warehouses and as soon as I give the command, he will be killed."
My despair quickly morphs into irritation as I realize what he is trying to do. "Nope. I'm not letting you do this. Nuh-uh," I shake my head.
Gio opens his mouth as if to continue but I cut him off by raising my hand. "You want communication? Well here it is: I refuse to let you try to scare me away and sabatoge our relationship even if it is unintentional. I understand your concern for my well-being but that doesn't give you the right to push me away and ignore my feelings. I'm a person too and I play an equal part in our relationship! You say I'm the one who doesn't get it, but I understand perfectly. I think you're the one who needs to listen." By the time I've managed to finish, my face is red and I'm crying hot, angry tears.
Instinctively, I ball up into the fetal position and focus on my breathing. Everything falls silent for a few minutes (besides my quiet crying) as I rock myself back and forth. I can't see Giovanni and I'm worried I've angered him; not because I think he'll hurt me â he said he wouldn't and I trust him â but because I'm worried I've hurt him.
Eventually, I hear Gio stand up and start to walk somewhere. For a moment I panic because I think he is going to leave me here alone in the room, but then I feel his gentle touch on my back. It's such a feather-light touch that I might've missed it if I wasn't so on edge.
"I'm sorry Rosary," I hear him faintly whisper. "I'm so, so sorry."
Gradually, I lift my head out of my arms and look up to Gio's tear-streaked face. Gently I lift my hand up and wipe away one of his tears.
"Sit with me," I whisper a few seconds later not wanting to disturb the calmness that seems to have enveloped the both of us. After I scooch over to the left side of the bed as much as I can, Giovanni carefully slides in next to me. Once we're both comfortable, I lay my head on his chest and let out a long exhale.
Then, softly I say, "I don't care what you do with my dad. He's already dead to me. What I do care about is being with you for the rest of our lives no matter the danger we may face."
My muffin leans his head down and kisses mine lovingly. "You are much too forgiving Fragolina." He continues after a brief pause, "I'm sorry for bringing up your dad so soon and I'm sorry for snapping at you when you tried to offer me support. It's no excuse, but I'm just so worried you'll get hurt, maybe even by me."
"Being in that house with Mr. Rossi has proven a lot of things, one of the bigger ones is that I'm stronger than I think. I understand that you're worried for me, but I can handle myself. And when I can't, I'll tell you and we can work through it together."
"I love you so much Rosary," Gio confesses.
Acting on impulse, I turn my gaze up to his face and kiss him sweetly.
"I love you too Muffin."
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