I don't have Wi-Fi at home so this will most likely be the last update for the Christmas break! Enjoy!
Chapter Fifty: "Don't Panic."
SURELY there has to be a logical explanation for why Lacey is showing me this. There's no way in hell this can be who I think it is, because they had proof that he had done wrong and been the one to do what he did.
Maybe it's my cousin who apparently robbed a bank but didn't?
"Oh my God." I whisper to myself in disbelief.
"What?" Carly asks. "What is it?"
I scan through the site, and I mentally face palm when I see his name. "What? Oh, nothing. Um, guys, I'm going to go to the bathroom, I'll meet back here."
"Okay." They smile, and I return the look, walking off towards the restroom.
Don't panic, Brooklyn. It's just your ex-boyfriend getting released from prison! No biggie. It's not like you had a bad break up or anything. . . or technically, that you broke up at all in the first place.
I immediately dial Lacey's number, and she picks up on the second ring. "When the hell was this?" I snap into the phone, no hello intended.
"I just saw it." She replies. "Brookie, this is amazing!"
"Yeah, I know." I chuckle uneasily.
"So what's wrong?" She asks softly.
"I'm kinda with Landon. . ." I sigh. "What do I do about him?"
"Well you're leaving to move back here at the end of the year anyway, aren't you?"
"Yeah," I breathe out heavily. "But the only thing that's keeping me here is him."
"But Taylor's getting released, babe. . . I thought that's what you've always wanted?"
"It was!" I say quickly. "It is. I really like Landon, though. Maybe even more . ."
"But you love Taylor." She tells me, and I frown.
Maybe not anymore. . . I've felt so much with Landon, so many things that Taylor never made me feel, and it's making me fall. "When is he being released?" I groan.
"Read the article." She says simply. "Everything is on there. We'll talk more about it when you get here. Is everything still planned?"
"Yep." I say.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Brookie. Don't stress over this, alright? You still have time to think this through."
"You're right." I chuckle nervously. "Plenty of time."
She laughs. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Bye Lace."
I save the link and close my Safari app. I am not going to stress over this until I'm on my way back. I can stress about it in my room, when I won't be interrupted and can either scream or cry my head in peace.
"Hey guys." I greet when I get back to the group.
"Hey." Carly smiles, and looks back at Nathan, who is riding one of the hoverboards.
"Hey guys, look!" He exclaims. "No hands!"
"No Nathan don'tâ"
"Aah!" He screams, running into one of the shelves and falling off the board. "Fuck." He groans.
The woman behind the counter's eyes grow wide, and I swear her face turns to the shade of fire. "You! Get out of my store!"
"Come on, it was just an accident!" He exclaims, groaning.
"Get out, now! Or I'm calling security." She snaps, and my mouth forms into an 'O', trying not to burst out laughing.
He mocks her under his breath, and I'm pretty sure she heard because she looks like she would hit him over the head with a bat if she could.
Carly and Bella drag Nathan out of the store, and the rest of us follow.
So much for trying the hoverboard. Nathan kinda ruined our chances.
Damn, and I really wanted to try one of those.
***
"Thanks for the ride." I say to Atticus, unbuckling my seatbelt.
"Not a problem." He replies. I don't make a move to leave, so he shuts off the car and turns to me. "So this is it, huh?"
I giggle. "It's not like I'm gone forever, Atticus. It's only until January."
"Which, by the way, is more than three weeks away." He points out, and I bite my lip.
"It's really not that long." I tell him. "You probably wouldn't even see me through the break, anyway."
He shrugs, and sighs. "Why does it feel like it's goodbye?"
I groan. Why does everyone keep asking me that?! It's not like I'm moving right now! Can't anybody understand that? It's just a visit, damn it. "Atticus, it's my vacation. I'm not moving."
"You probably will be though, right?" His tone of voice is casual. He doesn't seem to care much if I do move back, but I know he'd miss meâhell I'd miss him right back. Why couldn't Landon be like this? Realize that I'm not going to be here in Canada forever and just accept that I don't want to stay? If he wants me so much, then he can pull through until he graduates college or university then he can by all means come to L.A. and look for me.
Or even make it hard for me to want to leave. . . a small voice in the back of my head states.
It'd be unlikely that I'd leave L.A., but it would probably be even more unlikely that Landon would come back for me.
At least Atticus understands that people come and go and that not everyone stays in your lifeâwhether you want them to or not.
"Yeah." I say honestly. "I. . . probably will be. But not right now. I'm going to stay the school year, that's that. I don't think I have a life here; I can't picture a life here. It's not my style; it's picturesque in its own way but definitely not my own. My life is back in Los Angeles, irregardless if it has good or bad memories."
"Well, at least that time isn't now." He chuckles nervously. "I have a lot of making up to do, and I can't do that with thousands of miles in between us."
I laugh. "Yes, you do."
"Well, you should go. You have a lot of packing to do." He says quietly, and I nod.
I lean over and give him a quick side hug, and pull away. "I'll talk to you later."
"Okay."
I open the door, stepping out, "What time does your flight leave, Sweetheart?"
"Four in the morning." I say. "I'm leaving the house at two thirty, though."
"Want a ride?"
I smile. "No, no, no, I'm okay. Sleep in, Atticus, that's what weekends are for. Don't lose it over me."
"It's worth it, Sweetheart, honest to God. Are you sure?"
"Yes." I say. "Thank you for the offer though."
"Of course." He grins. "If anything changes, I'm only a phone call away, okay?"
"Absolutely." I say, squeezing his arm over the window.
"See you in January?"
"See you in January." I confirm, waving him off.
I pick up the bags I bought from the mall, and stumble in through the front door.
"Hey Brooklyn!" Lucas shouts from the living room.
"Hey, kiddo." I huff. "How was school?"
"Boring." He says. "Melvin glued Mrs. Cho to her chair again."
I chuckle. Little kids are so adorable.
"It smells delicious in here! Oh, and hi Ella."
"Hello dear." She chuckles from the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in ten, can you be ready by then?"
"You betcha." I smile. "Hey guys."
The boys don't look from the TV and wave, making me roll my eyes as I drag my stuff towards the stairs. "Who raised you, dogs?" Ella snaps. "Help her! She just had surgery!"
I laugh, and shake my head. "They're light, I swear. I can handle it."
"I run this house, child. I'll be the judge if whether or not you can carry things."
"Yes, ma'am," I shake my head amusedly. For a short little woman, she can be scary and authoritative when she wants to be.
Landon and Liam rise from their seats, grumbling as they make their way towards me. Without saying anything, they each grab two bags, leaving me to carry none. I follow them silently up to my room, watching them place the bags at the base of my desk. "Thanks."
"Yep." They reply. Liam leaves quicker than Landon does, and I take this as my opportunity to stop Landon, because this is the last time I'll see him for the rest of the month, and the last thing I want is for him to still be mad at me, because knowing that Taylor is going to be released, changes everything. If he won't forgive me for me not doing anything, then that heightens my chances of moving sooner to be with Taylor. If he wants us to happen, he needs to man up, because I will take my ex-boyfriend back if he wants me and Landon doesn't. We had something before we left, and I'm sure it will return.
"Landon, wait." I say hurriedly, and he stops abruptly, but doesn't turn around. I take a deep breath. "Are you still mad at me?"
"Yep." He replies sharply, and I wince at how cold his tone is.
"Why?" I demand. "I didn't do anything! It's a vacation, Landon. I'm coming back, I'm not moving."
"But you are eventually!" He snaps, storming towards my stairs. I need to stop him. I need him to make up his mind, because truthfully, I want my boyfriend back, but if he wants me, truly, then I'll try us out.
"Eventually isn't now!" I yell. "Eventually isn't until graduation! I can't even fucking move if I wanted to, McGibbon. I'm under probation, I can't move back to the States until I finish my junior year, because that's when I'm free. I can't move back earlier unless I want to go back to prison!"
He freezes, his whole body getting tense, and that's the time he chooses to actually turn around and look at me. My chest is heaving heavily, and my hands are shaking.
His eyes are wide, jaw clenched, but his whole expression is confused. He looks shocked, and mad. That makes me scoff.
"Dinner!" I hear someone scream up, and I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, leaving Landon in shock in my room as I push past him.
When I get downstairs, I have a smile plastered on my face. I take my seat beside Lucas, across from Louis, and wait as Ella places some ham on my plate. I reach over and scoop up some mashed potatoes, corn, and add gravy. Eventually, Landon comes down and sits diagonally of me, and I avoid his eyes once he tries finding mine.
"So, Brooklyn," Thomas starts, "you leave tomorrow."
"3:00 a.m. sharp, sir." I smile.
"Do you have transportation?"
"I do." I confirm. "I'm saving all y'all some rest and catching a cab."
"I'm sure one of the boys could drive you." Ella states, taking a bite of her potatoes.
"I'm sure they could, but I have it handled. It's early in the morning and it's a weekend. You guys deserve your rest."
She nods, accepting that I won't take arguments for an answer. "When are you to return?" Thomas asks.
I swallow what's in my mouth, and say, "I'll be back the weekend school starts again."
"A month away, huh?" He says.
"I guess so," I nod. "I've been waiting months for this moment."
"You should call us every so often." She suggests, and I nod.
"Of course I will."
"Where's Brooklyn going?" Lucas asks from beside me, mashed potatoes and gravy all over his face.
I chuckle, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off his face. He gives me a wide, goofy grin as I place the napkin down on the table. "I'm going back to L.A. for Christmas break."
He pouts. "You're not going to be here for Christmas?"
I frown. "Not this year, buddy." I say softly. "Maybe next year."
"She's not going to be here next year, Luke." Landon says bluntly, and I kick his shin from across from me as best as my short legs can. "Ow! What the fuck!"
"Landon! Language!" Thomas exclaims.
"Shut up." I snarl. "Just because you're pissed off doesn't mean you have to ruin it for everybody."
"Ruin what, babe?" He asks through gritted teeth. "Your plan on leaving before graduation, or the fact that someone actually knows?"
"I apologize in advance for you not being able to understand me in the next few minutes." I say to the others before directing my glare to the boy diagonally of me to my left.
"What?" Louis questions, and I ignore him.
"You better stop with your fucking disrespect with me, Landon. You need to make up your mind on what you want, because whether you like it or not, I'm going home eventually. Whether I move permanently or just visiting. Eventually isn't now, and the only thing keeping me in Canada after my time is done is you. You hear? You! So let me give you a heads up on what's going to happen these next few weeks, and maybe you'll actually get your head out of your ass and think carefully."
"Come on, really?" Louis moans in protest. "Brooklyn, we talked about this!"
"This is an important conversation, Louis." I say, my voice softer with him than it was a couple seconds ago. "But it can't be spoken in front of everyone else."
"Eugh." He grumbles.
"What are you talking about?" Landon retorts, and I crack my neck.
"Taylor is going to be in L.A. when I'm there. And if you're not going to stop being a dick, you're losing your chances with me indefinitely. It's either him or you, and I want to choose you. However, I will take Taylor back, so don't think that I won't. So make up your mind, Landon. I'm not going to be here forever, and I definitely will not wait." I say in a big breath, and sigh. "Okay, I'm English from now on."
"Sometimes I hate you." Louis grumbles again.
I chuckle and shake my head. "Learn the language and you won't hate me as much."
"I don't think that would matter, babe." He scoffs, and I roll my eyes. Can't anyone here call me by my name?
"Do I even want to know what you just said?" Liam asks.
"No." I answer immediately. "All it is is a huge headache."
Landon remains silent, and I ignore him as per usual and start up conversation with Lucas.
"So, Little M, sing the alphabet song for me in Spanish."
***
After dinner, I excused myself to finish packing. My flight leaves in nine hours, and I need to be up in eight. So, I'm going to limit myself to spending an hour throwing random stuff in suitcasesâthough I truly don't understand why, considering I'm updating my wardrobe when I get back to California anyway.
"Clothes? Check," I mutter to myself once I'm done. "Medication? Um, check. Glasses? Check. Alarm set, toiletries, passport. . . check, check, and checkâno, wait! Where the hell is my ID?"
I curse to myself as I tear apart my room looking for my health card and birth certificate. I check under my bed, my thrown-around clothes, my secret compartment in my nightstand, and I even check the bathroom.
The desk.
I push everything away from me as I stumble up, and jog to my desk. I tear apart the drawers, and finally come across my IDs. I walk back and place them in the front pouch of my suitcase, where I put my passport and all my other important documents.
Finally huffing that I have everything I need for my trip, I sigh in exhaustion and grab an oversized shirt and walk to my bathroom to brush my teeth and prep for bed. Seven hours isn't enough sleep for me, and it's worse enough that I have a mid-night flight.
When I'm done, I grab my toiletries again and exit my bathroom, only to stop in my tracks.
"I'm not sure if I should be surprised or annoyed." I say as I unfreeze and walk to my bags, tossing the nighttime stuff in it and zipping it up.
"Is he actually?"
"Is who what?"
"Is he actually going to be there."
I sigh, and in the end, I shrug. "I don't know. That's what the news is saying."
"I haven't heard of it."
"A teenage boy being released from prison in California for a semi-minor crime isn't something that the whole continent would need to know about." I say coldly, and Landon rolls his eyes. I walk to my bed and situate myself on it, crawling onto the steel frame and placing my head on the backboard. Landon stays at the foot of the stairs, staring at me expectantly.
I don't know exactly what he wants; I have nothing. Nothing to give, nothing to share, nothing I owe him.
"You were telling the truth?" He presses.
"It's not like I'd lie about it." I growl.
"You lied about your medication." He states.
"For personal reasons." I argue. "I don't need everyone knowing I take pills for my own health. Once people hear that I'm 'anorexic' or 'suicidal' I'll never hear the end of it."
"But you're not."
"They don't know that!"
He sighs, and sits on the couch at the foot of the bed. "You've really been?" He asks more softly. "To prison, I mean."
I sigh heavily, and rub my temples. "Yeah." I whisper. "I'm not proud of it."
"Is that what Pasadena is code for?" He asks. "Or the gym."
I nod. "Yep." I pop the 'p.'
"So before you came here. . ."
"Yeah." I confirm. "I wasn't on vacation."
"Why?"
"Punishment, I'm guessing. I don't know, I wasn'tâno, why am I even explaining myself to you? You treated me like shit for over a week now, and you can't expect me to tell you about my life like nothing happened. I'm giving you an opportunity, Landon, and my past has nothing to do with your decision."
"It does if I have to compete for you." He points out. "I don't want to compete for something I already have."
"What makes you think that I'm a competition now?"
"You said that your ex-boyfriend is getting released from prison, Brooklyn! That is competition! Especially if he wants you back."
"And what makes you think I want him back?" I retort.
"You still love him." He exhales, almost like it was painful for him to say.
"He was my first love, Landon. I'll always have it for him." I say, my voice softening only a bit.
"So is there a chance you will rekindle your relationship with him, then?"
"I told you at dinner."
"Brooklyn, if I have you, I'm not going to fight Taylor for your love. But I don't want to make the effort if there isn't even the slightest possibility you'll choose me over him. It's happened before, and I'm protecting my heart."
I sigh, shaking my head. This is too much to handle, and I need to sleep. He's throwing so much stuff at me all at once to the point I feel like I'm suffocating. I need to talk to Lacey, she'll know what to do.
"I need to wake up in a few hours. You need to leave."
He sighs, but frowns and doesn't spare me a glance.
Then he leaves.
And he doesn't turn back.