Chapter Forty: "Mmm, Maybe Not."
"AND THEN WHAT?"
"She had a look of disbelief and bewilderment on her face. I couldn't stand the silence so I walked out."
"And where are you now?"
"No idea." I say, drawing out the words. It's truthful, I actually have no clue where I am. I just walked out, and walked to where my feet were taking me. Don't know where that was, but it's lead me to some kind of cliff overlooking the water, and it's frankly quite peaceful. I know I've walked a good hour, though.
At least my phone is fully charged and I have service up here.
"Do you know how to get back? Because the last thing I want to happen is have you have too much strain on your body. Especially those stitches. Your dad'll be pissed."
"As long as I don't toss and turn and lift anything that could loosen them, then I'm fine. Dad will understand. He knows everything and how my mom is. He knows I needed time to myself and being in the same room as them wouldn't help that. I'll just call him when I'm ready to head back."
Lacey sighs on the other end. "I never understood why you can't follow anyone's orders unless you want to."
"I find them irrelevant. I know what not to do, and I don't think I'm doing anything bad."
"Just. . . watch yourself, okay? I mean, you had your appendix burst for Christ sake and I don't want to get a phone call."
"I know, Lace." I say softly. "You won't get a call, I promise."
"Good." She huffs. "So how are you?" She asks after a few moments. "And before you answer that, I'm not including being sick."
"Um," I purse my lips. "I'm okay, I think."
"You think?" She presses. "Anything exciting happening? Good grades, no trouble, boys. . ."
I know she's smirking when she mentioned the last word. "Not really, no," I chuckle, but then stop. I realize I hadn't talked to either of the group since over two weeks ago. "Wait, that's a lie. Things have been. . . bothersome."
"What's happened?" She asks.
I sigh, and look out at the water. The sun's now almost set, and I let the silence linger longer until the sun fully disappears below the horizon. "Um, well, you know my. . . group of friends, right?"
"Oh, yes!" She exclaims. "They seem nice by the way you talk about them."
"Yeah, well. . . I'm kinda not seeing them anymore." I say nervously, biting my lip. It wasn't often that I ditched an opportunity to socialize, so she must be surprised.
"What?" She asks incredulously. "Why?"
"Some things happened." I sigh. "Not with the whole group, just a certain member."
"Was it that Carly girl?" She asks. "Because if it was, I will drive over there and fry her eyebrows off."
I chortle at her threat. I've missed her so much, and I'm glad that Christmas break is only a month and a half away. Of course, it's freezing up here, but it could also be because I'm wearing a spaghetti strap tank top and a thin wooly cardigan. The coldness up here is extreme and I was told that snow is going to be here soon; which is so weird because I've never seen snow in Los Angeles. Landon said it's weird to not see snow already this far up north since it should be here already, but I'm in no rush. I don't like the cold weather, since I'm not used to it.
However, I am very excited to see snow. I've never personally seen it, only on TV, but it looks fun.
"No, it wasn't her." I say. "Okay, so last weekend, there was a complication with one of our female horses, and none of the boys were home or answering so I called Atticus, right? You remember him, don't you?"
"The cute tutor of yours? Of course I do!"
"Yeah, well he lives across the lake so I called him. One of the boys came home so I kicked him out to save trouble. He was distant with me from then on for some reason. Then after, one of the mean girls gave Carly a black eye so Bella and I confronted them, and long story short, Atticus flipped out on me for sticking up for her, said some pretty hurtful things, I told him to go fuck himself, and I haven't spoken to any of them since."
"None of them?" She questions in bewilderment. "Brookie, it's been almost two weeks."
"And I've been sick for a week and a half of that!" I remark. "Besides, it's no big deal. I'm done with them, anyway."
"Done with them? What do you mean?"
"We never left on bad terms, just Atticus and I, but Lacey, you know how hard it is for me to make friends. This is the eighth time someone I wanted to be close to and befriend broke my heart. I can't do it anymore; I won't. I refuse. So, for the next two years, I'm going to be a loner."
"What about your roommates?" She asks. "Are you friends with them?"
"I wouldn't say friends," I scoff. "Acquaintances, maybe, but even that's pushing it. Lucas is a sweetheart, and I'm starting to talk to Liam, but that's it."
"But they're there for you, right?"
"I don't think so," I sigh. "I'm a loner, Lace, and I'm perfectly fine with that."
"No, you're not." She laughs, but it's gone just as fast as it came. "Stop being overdramatic, Brooklyn, alright? There will be friends who will come and go and friends who will stay. But you can't give up on people because they've given up on you."
"Actually, I can." I grumble. "I'm probably not even going to be here the full two years anyway."
"You can't runaway whenever something goes wrong or gets difficult." She says, growing agitated. This happens a lot. In a few minutes, she'll probably start yelling at me.
But I can't help it.
There were a lot of people who I genuinely liked; I loved their attention and the friendship they gave me. But then, I lost all them. They rebelled against Taylor, and that upset me greatly. My close circle of friends approved of him, just not what he does, so why couldn't they see it? Justin and Lacey and Casey and Jody and all them didn't leave because I had a boyfriend, so what made everyone else think that I'm not welcomed because of him?
I was a nice person. Everyone said that the whole student body adored me and that I was probably the nicest person in the school. I got awards every year for respect, integrity, courage, appreciation.
I was supposed to be fucking valedictorian when I graduated.
"Brooklyn?"
I snap back to the girl who's repeatedly calling my name. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Lacey sighs on the other line. "Never mind." She brushes it off. "My point is, is that you shouldn't runaway anymore. Face your problems instead of running away. Brookie, baby, I know you don't want me to say this, but believe it or not, Justin and Jody and Johnny and Jason and I aren't going to be with you forever. When you face something hard when you're older, you'll need to solve them on your own. Now, you know we're here until we can't be anymore, but you gotta change, girl. For yourself."
"I know," I grumble. "And I'm trying. I'm working on it, Lacey. I really am."
"So keep it up." She demands. "Atticus is an asshole if he thinks that what you told me is true. He knows nothing and he doesn't deserve you or your time. Make a deal with me, Brooklyn."
"That depends on the deal, Lacey."
"Focus on school until winter break, alright?" She starts, and I hum, because she can't see me stupidly nod to the phone. "And if your grades are at a B minus, then I'll talk to your parents in seeing if you can come down or we can go there."
"Really?" I ask, my voice rising in disbelief. Is she serious? She'll do that for me?
"Of course," she chuckles. "We miss you, Brooklyn."
"I miss you guys, too. So fucking much, Lacey, you have no idea."
"We'll work it out, Brookie, I promise." She whispers. "Just do me that one thing, okay? Just that one thing."
"Okay," I nod. "I will, I will."
"I know it's late there, Brookie, and I can hear your teeth chattering so go home, okay?"
"It's not my home," I say. "It's a temporary thing."
"Go back to your dad, Brooklyn." She says, and leaves no room for arguments. "Text me when you're back safely."
"Okay."
"Goodnight, Brookie."
"Night Lace."
I pull my phone away to play my music since I know it's going to be a long walk back to the trail. It's going to be a long walk back to the hotel in general.
My eyes widen when I see the time.
11:03 p.m.
Shit.
Dad is going to kill me.
Not to mention it'll be past midnight by the time I get back.
I spend a good minute trying to contemplate if I should call dad to come and get me. But then a remember, he's probably never been here before and he most certainly wouldn't know where I am. I don't even know where I am.
A certain thought clouds my head and I groan. Of course, it's always them who save the day.
In case they're sleeping, I create a group chat between Liam, Landon, and myself. I at least know that one of them will pick me up if it ever came down to it. And I don't want to bother Lance because he's under a lot of stress with tests and assignments.
[ME: Are any of y'all two up?]
I plug in my headphones, throwing on a song as I place my phone in my back pocket and begin my walk back to the road.
Four songs pass before my butt buzzes.
It's one of them.
[LIAM: no, i is sleep tezting.]
[LIAM (2): why u messgaeingnme anyways cupcake? Want come over?]
[ME: you really need to start spelling properly. Or at least using proper sentences]
[LIAM: pft baby i a gr8 sprller.]
A thought occurs to me, and I sigh defeatedly.
[ME: are you drunk?]
[LIAM: LOLOLOL yes maam i am]
Well, I can definitely scratch Liam off my list. I'm not trusting him drunk.
[LIAM: do u want to cime ovr or not?]
[ME: No, Liam. I need a ride home]
[LIAM: where r u]
[ME: dunno. I walked and that's all i know]
[LIAM: ur dumb for wondering around without knoeing where ur are]
[ME: you know what, go to bed, Liam. You're hurting my brain with your awful grammar and sentential mistakes.]
[LIAM: dunno wut that word mesns but ok loll]
[LIAM (2): can i teust that u will make it home aliv]
[ME: probably]
I throw my phone back in my pocket, glancing around my surroundings. It's pitch black outside and that kind of scares me because of the bears, and I slap myself literally for not thinking this through. At least if I end up doing do this more often, I should carry bear spray. Or buy a dog and bring it everywhere with me.
The breeze is cold, and I'm not layered up very well. With this weather, a jacket is necessary, and I'm not even wearing that. If there was light, I'd be able to see my breath every time I exhaled. I've never been in such cold weather; it's foreign to me, and apparently this weather is nothing.
Crazy Canadians.
My phone starts to vibrate, and I shiver, pulling it out and shaking as I look at the screen. I unlock the text.
[LIAM: i woke landon up. Ur welcime]
My eyes widen, and not just because he woke his brother. His spelling and sentences are really driving me nuts and I'm going to go mad if I keep talking to him much longer.
[ME: Liam! Why did you do that?!]
[LIAM: bc i kno ur dumbb when it comes to running iff]
[LANDON: He's lying, I've been up for a while.]
I sigh in relief. The last thing I wanted was Liam to wake Landon because I couldn't stay in the same room with my mother who I missed dearly.
[ME: I'm sorry, just forget about it. I'll just call my dad]
The phone chimes instantly.
[LANDON: no, no. Hold up. Where are u?]
[ME: would you believe me if I told you that I was at the edge of a cliff?]
[LANDON: no]
[ME: well, I am. Where, dunno. But I think i know my way back so ill let you get back to bed]
[LANDON: Blue. Where the fuck are u]
[ME: I'm an hour walk away from the hotel and about a twenty minute walk frim the trail I followed]
I don't pay attention to correct my spelling mistake as I throw the device in my pocket so I can warm up my hands. It's too cold out to think properly and I swear my brain cells are starting to freeze.
My phone vibrates again, but it's constant so I catch on that it's a call I'm receiving. It also stopped my music, sadly.
I press the microphone button on my headphones to answer it and spare my fingers from getting frostbite. Nervously, I stutter into the phone, "H-hello? D-dad?"
"No."
"Oh," I sigh. "Ow!" I exclaim, running into a fallen tree branch. Where did that damn thing come out of? It was probably already there, doofus, you're just too dumb to use your flashlight as guidance.
"Blue?" I hear Landon's worried voice. "What happened, are you okay? Is there bears? Answer me!"
I rub the back of my head where the loose twigs on the branch had managed to yank my hair out of my head. I really hope I don't have a bald spot. "I'm okay," I grumble. "Just c-caught my hair. Wh-what's u-up?"
"Christ, where are you?"
"I'll let you know when I get to the trail." I answer. "B-butâ"
"What are you wearing?" He demands.
I'm too cold to roll my eyes. "Now i-is not the t-t-time to flirt with me."
"Brooklyn, it's nearly below zero outside!" He says exasperatedly, but I think it's teasing. I know he's serious about it, but truly I don't think he's annoyed with how little I prepped for this winter. Honestly, I didn't expect the weather here to be this cold. I expected sweater weather and that was it.
"Is it? It-it feels like it's more than that."
"You cute Californians and your sensitivity to cold weather," I hear him chuckle to himself, before sobering up and clearing his throat. "Anyway, answer me."
"I. . . I'm not bundled up if that's what you're asking."
He sighs heavily on the other line, and I furrow my eyebrows when I hear a flicker and a rattle.
Was that a light? And keys?
"What are you doing?" I ask curiously into the phone.
"I'm coming to pick you up." He says nonchalantly. "You said you were at a cliff, right? Describe it."
"Oh. Um. . . steep. I m-might've passed a campground. Small parking lot for m-maybe ten cars. The-the beach at the bottom has some docks, and right now, th-there is a ship docked at one."
"Whoa," he says a couple long seconds later in surprise and revelation. "You always seem to amaze me, darling."
My heart warmed at that.
"What?"
"What? Oh. Nothing. You're just, like. . . never mind. Um, by the time you get to the trail, I should be there."
"O-okay." I shiver. My toes are starting to get cold as well, and the eerie whistles of the trees sends more shivers down my spine. Forests are pretty freaking beautiful but damn they're scary at night.
"Be careful, alright, babe?"
"Babe?" I blush.
"I'll see you soon." He whispers, making me think he's probably down the stairs, trying not to wake anyone. "Try not to get attacked by another bear while I'm gone."
He hangs up before I can answer, and I sigh heavily, getting tired from being cold. I quickly grab my phone from my pocket and turn my music back on, and throw my hands in the waistband of my pants, resting on my lower abdomen, the surprising heat from my skin instantly warming my freezing fingers.
A while later, and I finally reach a trail that leads to a tiny parking lot. It's the parking lot I remember passing when I walked here, so I internally have a victory dance and take a mental note to gloat to Liam about how good I can be at navigating. Sure it probably was because I am freezing my ass off and I want warmth and I needed to know where I was in order to do that, but nonetheless, I still made my way back without difficulty.
I'll definitely make sure to come back to that peak, though. It's a really beautiful sight and the sunset here is absolutely amazing.
It's a place that I most definitely found peace in, and it calmed me almost immediately to the point where I felt careless to the bad that's drowning my brain and heart. To the point where everything that was going wrong currently in my life had disappeared. I felt. . . free. Worry-free, unemotional, happy, calm, relaxed.
Where nothing could go wrong as long as I was standing in that spot, on that rock, standing on a cliff overlooking the water in front of me watching the sun set in the distance on the horizon.