Chapter Thirteen: "Douche-Bags."
I GOT OUT of that place as quick as I could.
The silence and awkwardness was insufferable and I don't do well with that combination. I felt blamed, and as soon as everyone at the table took their own ways in how they were going to spend the dayâwhich was them going to school, except Landon and Liam, because they had some doctor appointmentâfor about two hours after everyone left, I heard screaming.
I was up in my room when Ella and Thomas started arguing, and whenever I thought the rift between them was over, it would begin again; but even louder, and far more hostile.
I wonderedâfor the two hours they were up there before I started to leaveâif I was the reason that they were fighting so heavily, or if it was a daily occurrence for their family. I don't know what I would do if it was all because of me. I caused too much trouble back home in LA to let my baggage follow me to another country.
I winced a lot during those two hours that I wanted to do something about it, but I couldn't find the willpower in me enough to intrude on their lash-outs. I heard things break, and gasps, and it scared me to the point I thought they were hitting one another. I needed to get out of there immediately before it depressed me enough to consider doing what I haven't done in a short while, but it did leave some marks on me.
I shouldn't have said anything without discussing it with Ella first, considering she was the only one who knew about my coming to Canada. But on the other hand, with a subject as big as a new body living in my house, I would want to know too, and frankly, I'd be quite pissed if nobody told me, even if the new guest was already here.
I can see where Thomas was coming from.
Now, since I couldn't stand hearing the thrashing around of the Whatever-their-last-names-are's residence even after I stepped foot outside, I decided to take a walk along some trails I caught on my way back from the hospital earlier this morning. I can still faintly hear them as I pass the road towards the mountains and upcoming forest, so I plug my headphone's into my phone and play some music.
Justin still hasn't called me back, but I didn't want to keep worrying since time zones were still confusing me. I figured that since it's only just eight here, it's only five over there, so he's either just waking up, or sleeping in more until he has no choice but to get ready. I frown as my music plays when I remember that in exactly seven days, I won't be at my local high school anymore, and that I'll in fact be at a completely new one with nobody knowing me. I admit, it's a great fresh start where nobody will know me, but it could also make me become a target. I had been at my local high school since I started secondary school, so I knew everyone pretty much since I went to elementary with most of them, but that didn't stop me from becoming a victim of bullying. Stacy went to my elementary school, and since I was the new girl from yet another country and couldn't understand anyone for the most part since my arrival, I became an easy approach. People could literally call me names in my face and I wouldn't know half of the shit they said. But that could go both ways, since it'd be a literal two language verbal battle between kids. I could throw the same words at them, and they wouldn't know.
Then Lacey stepped in. She stood up for me, and she told me bit by bit through Google Translate that she wanted to learn my language, and that she would also help me with English. She told me that she was here for me if I wanted a friend, and at that point in my life, a friend is exactly what I needed to help get through my education.
Justin came a year after, being a new student from San Francisco since his dad became a movie director. He was intrigued by my origin and so the three of us became really good friends after that. And of course, all of our other friends, like Jason, Johnny, and Jody, came along after them, and needless to say, my Mexican background saved me from bullies, and gained me long-lasting friendships since.
Though, now I'm in another country, thousands upon thousands of kilometers away, this really tests how strong our relationships are. Will they forget about me? Ask about me? Talk to me? What if I were to return, would they want to be involved with me still?
Four years isn't a long time, but with them, it feels like I've known them forever.
I don't notice how far I've been walking until I come to a halt once I near a cliff. It looks over a large body of water, and I can only see houses as the size of ants. I easily find my new house, given that it has the largest amount of land that I can see, plus, the barns give it away. It's really beautiful up here, and it feels really relaxing. I already feel my problems drifting to the back of my mind as I just stare at the water and the sound of birds chirping. I even hear some scruffs behind me, but I just pass it off as wild animals. What kind of wild animals they have here, I don't know, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. They probably only have raccoons and skunks, like we had back in LA.
After hearing a song repeat through my headphones, I blink once I realize that I've been sitting here a lot longer than I thought. My playlist has over 300 minutes on it, meaning that I've been sitting here easily for five hours.
I jump painfully once someone grabs my arm, my hip nearly plummeting me to the ground at how I landed all my weight on it.
"Shit, I didn't mean to scare you."
I turn around and am met with Lance's face.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, shifting back around to face the water.
"I seen you up here and just thought I'd say hello."
"Hello." I say.
"What are you doing up here?" He asks as he takes a seat beside me. I look over at him, and he locks his eyes with mine as a smirk appears on his face.
I shrug. "I needed air."
"How long have you been up here?"
"I don't know, honestly. Five, six hours, maybe? I stopped counting."
We remain in a somehow comfortable silence, and it stays like that for what seems like forever. I don't bother engaging in conversation; since conversation isn't really something I'm good at, however Lance never made the effort either. I'm not sure if my scowl on my face was visible, but every time I'd look at him through the corner of my eye, he'd have a sympathetic look on his face, and that's what confused me while we sat there in silence.
Finally, the curiosity was killing me, and I needed to ask why he was up here, why he had that damn look on his face, and why he is still here.
"Is there a reason why you keep giving me pitiful looks whenever I'm not looking? Or is that just your face?"
Lance's head moves to face me, and an amused expression stretches across his adorable features. His jaw looks even stronger than it did at breakfast, and I couldn't not notice how he had very deep dimples whenever he smiled or smirked. "How long are you here?" He asks, ignoring my question.
I shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine."
"Interesting."
"Gut-wrenching." I correct him.
Another silence.
"Why are you here?" I break the ice, facing him fully, because I came up here to avoid these people. This morning was hectic, and I in fact planned on scanning around town to look for a job when I was going to start school. I know that it'll take time to get used to living with Ella and her family, let alone in a house full of boys, but if things were only going to be like they were last night or this morning, then I won't be able to last living here. Her family is niceâsort ofâdon't get me wrong, but I have problems that are still being resolved.
I got in huge shit on the plane from my Parole Officer for doing something that made me wound up behind bars again. Luckily I made it past after my parole was over, but I made it just past a few days before I got in shit again. Speaking of which, I should probably be expecting a call from her within the next few days.
I can't live with a family who won't let me have my own way with things. I understand that kids have rules made for them for a reason, but the ones that were barely briefly discussed, were as pathetic as my arrest for purposeful obstruction of an officer. I'm looking forward to getting on a plane and moving back home in a few months once I can afford it.
"I live here." Lance says matter-of-factly, and I see a stupid smirk form.
"No." I growl out, "Why are you here. Like, why are you sitting on the edge of a cliff with me instead of, I don't know, being anywhere else."
"I wanted to apologize to you," he finally says, catching my full out attention. "My dad is a little selfish and blunt."
"Ha, no doubt." I scoff. "Nice of him for him to automatically assume that I was in one of your boys' beds last night."
Not exactly the best first impression, and just by this morning, I caught a glimpse of how Thomas is actually.
"Yeah, he's like that." Lance gives me an apologetic smile. "But seriously, we aren't all real douche-bags. Louis is, and always will be, an annoying piece of shit. But I promise you, we're not all like that. You've not been here long enough for them to be comfortable around you, and with my family, that's something of big importance. Once they start to get to know you, they'll start coming around.
"I'm sorry for the hassle we caused you at dinner and this morning. My brothers had no right to out you for not eating, and I'll talk to my parents about this morning. You shouldn't have to be forced to speak English because they don't understand. It's not fair, and I genuinely am sorry for that."
I'm at a loss for words.
I appreciate how Lance is offering to help with my speaking preferences, and how supportive he's being towards me. If only all people were like he or Landon areâminus the sex remarks, of courseâthen the world might not be a complete shit hole filled with piles and piles of pieces of shit that came out of assholes. I know that sounds dirty, but if you've not caught onâI was talking about where I live (shit hole) being filled with rude and harmful words or ways to hurt people and their feelings (piles and piles of pieces of shit) coming out of other people's mouths on purpose (assholes).
However, though, nice worlds don't exist, and this one I live in probably isn't going to get any better.
Might as well try to befriend the nice ones while I can.
But on the other hand. . . why befriend when I'm leaving anyway?
"I appreciate your help, but really, it isn't necessary." I tell him honestly. It's not that I don't need the helpâlet's be honestâbut I'm not making connections only to get dropped in return. I've had friends turn on me before, and I only got so lucky when it came down to the friends I currently have now back in LA. It's only a matter of time until I lose them too, and I can't have anyone else turn out like that.
Jail was bad, school was bad, and now my new house is bad.
I refuse to open any walls.
From this moment forward, my walls are made out of thick concrete, and they'll forever stay that way. Besides, I was always a lone-wolf until Lacey and Justin came into the picture. Even now, I'm back into the group I've grown ever so close toâthe one consisting of only one person: myself.
"I know, but from what I've heard, you haven't had the best experience here, and I would rather not have to be responsible for driving you off because I didn't stand up for you. That would ruin my reputation. And that would ruin my chances of pissing my brothers off by getting you."
Okay, so maybe he isn't as I thought he was.
"Then that adds another reason for me to leave." I scoff, and stand up, suddenly done with watching nature. I can only tolerate it for so long, and besides, Lance has kind of ruined it for me, anyway.
"Whereâ"
"To the house." I reply before he can finish. "If I can remember where I even came from." I add underneath my breath.
It was a lot of zigzagging coming up here, and I am not going to lieâI got lost a couple times. I guess now that the sun will start setting soon, I better head back before the racoons find me. "Come on, I was only half kidding! Don't be like that. Let me walk you back."
"No way. I'm okay," I answer. "I want to be alone, anyway."
***
"Your cast was white yesterday, and now it's blue."
I turn my head to my left, and see Liam sitting on the couch in the living room, engrossed in The Big Bang Theory and not even looking up at me from the TV. I look down at my right arm, and see it the same way it was yesterday: covered by a sweater.
"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, feigning confusion.
"Don't act stupid, Little Miss Suspense. I know that your cast was white last night, and is now blue. Why?"
"Why does it matter?" I throw back.
"Because I want to know if you stole our car or not." He says with a shrug, and munches down on a bag of Sun Chips.
"And what would make you think that I would tell you if I stole your parents' vehicle?" I chuckle.
I mean, come on, what kind of person would admit to stealing a vehicle? I mean, I've never stolen anything in my life, but even if I had, I wouldn't admit it unless there was concrete evidence supporting that it was me and not my lookalike from another planet, or wherever else in the world. You know, how everyone apparently has a 'twin'? Someone who looks like you, somewhere in the world? I personally, have met people who look like friends or ex-friends of mine, but I've never had that happen to me yet.
And hell, if she wanted to show up to take the blame for something I was being accused of, then she has my blessing.
"You're right. You're too innocent to even steal a cracker from a baby." Liam snorts, and at first, I would have guessed it was Landon, but given that Landon was the one who drove me to the hospital and saw me before and after the hospital tripâhe wouldn't have pointed out that my cast changed colour. He can't even use the 'I didn't notice' or 'I forgot' excuse, because he was the one who picked it out because I didn't want to choose anything.
"Don't be making assumptions, Liam. You don't know anything about me." I suddenly snap.
"Then why is your cast a different colour? Surely something must have happened in order for it to be there at eight last night but not seven this morning."
"So? Maybe I was feeling artsy throughout the night and wanted to colour it."
"That's not from marker, or whatever you used. You got a new cast. What happened?"
"My injuries and what colour the plaster is that is keeping arm steady is none of your business."
"Could it have anything to do with your mid-night exploration of my house?" He asks, and I widen my eyes. He knows that I was up in the middle of the night? Shit, how could he have known?
No, no, scratch that.
Why the hell didn't he come out to see what the hell happened when I fell?
"You're not exactly light on your feet, cupcake." Liam points out, and I drop my doe eyes and narrow them instead.
"Don't call me that." I warn.
"Why not?" He presses, and the way he mutes the TV and turns his body towards me, makes it seem like he's daring me to fight him.
"Because that isn't my name."
"So? Nicknames exist, cupcake. Besides, it suits you and your personality."
Ha! If he wanted some nickname that suited my personality, he might as well call me a shade of black.
"That doesn't mean anything. You know nothing about me or my personality."
"Why don't we change that, then?" He says with a flirty smile and a wink.
"I'll pass. I don't roll with douche-bags."
"I'm not a doucheâI'm just very open-minded and opinionated."
"If you're not a douche, then why didn't you see what all the banging around was in the middle of the night, then?"
"That's probably the dumbest question ever. One, I'm lazy, and two, I just assumed you were getting it on with one of my brothers." He says it so simply; like he's talking about the weather or discussing something that happened on the news.
"Then that makes you a douche-bag. Had you even peeked your head out the door, then you would have found out on why my arm is now coated in blue plaster and not white."
Liam's eyes suddenly change from the jerk persona he was rubbing off, and they go somewhat soft. "What do you mean?"
"I needed to get a new cast." I finally tell him. It isn't really a big deal, since a cast is a cast and it's just covering my broken arm, but that doesn't bother me.
It's what usually comes after that:
How did I break my arm in the first place?
"Is that what all that stomping was? And that loud crash?" He asks more gently, but I can also hear the harshness in his voice as well. He reminds me of Louis, and it honestly is pissing me off, because that brat already got on my nerves the moment I met him.
"Not completely," I reply. "I'm not exactly a good tip-toer, and I didn't want to wake anyone up, so I kept lights off and my footing quiet. Though, of course that needed focus, so it sounded like stomping, and to top that off, I'm also a klutz, so I think you can answer the rest on your own."
It takes Liam a few moments to catch up, but then he remains quiet for a couple minutes, so I just decide to ignore him and head upstairs.
Until he suddenly speaks up. "Wait. So. . . you, like, fell down the stairs, or?"
"Yes."
"And you must have re-broken your arm or something, yeah? In order to get a new colour cast." He continues, nodding his head along as he finally catches on to what went on last night.
"You guessed it." I reply, biting my lip out of awkwardness. Why it feels awkward, I don't know, but having Liam know why it's colour is different must be making my anxiety levels increase considering it makes him that much closer to asking how it happened in the first place. The first time.
"But how did you get to the hospital then?" He questions, but then a smirk appears. "Is this when you tell me you stole my parents' car to drive yourself to the emerge?"
"No." I answer simply. "I didn't steal anything, Liam, so get that through your thick skull."
"Then how did you get to the hospital?"
"What's with all the questions?" I blurt, "It really doesn't matter what happened to me between dinner last night and breakfast this morning."
"I'm just curious," he argues. "Can't a guy be curious?"
"No. Because I know what's going to come after that."
It doesn't take an idiot to figure out that once he gets his answer on what happened to make me need a new cast, to bounce back to what made me need to have a cast in the first place. And I can't prepare myself enough for when that question is going to dawn on me.
And by who is going to ask it.
"And what would be coming after that?"
"Nice try, pony boy. I'm not stupid."
"Never said you were, cupcake."