Chapter 30: 30: If You so Desire

Fiona

As night fell, Tiana studied me with a knowing smile, almost like she knew my thoughts and fears. I was still overwhelmed finding out Kat was my cousin and our mothers were sisters. Was my mother like her sister, Queen Celestria? I shuddered at the thought of the cunning and arrogant queen.

“It’s time, Fiona, and everything is ready.” Tiana’s voice broke my trance.

I glanced at everyone congregating in the living room. Lucas held a small box, and we followed Tiana out of her cozy cottage.

She led us to her lush and warm backyard, which was illuminated by the glow of a yellow moon above, shining so vast and so bright it didn’t seem real. I’d never seen a moon light up the night like this one.

But then dark shadows sprung up along the path. I inhaled an audible breath, watching Tiana as she whispered something that sounded much like a song. Then she waved her hands in the air, grabbing the shadows surrounding the path, and causing them to disappear.

“Wow,” I whispered. “How do you do that?”

“I’m wondering the same,” Kat said. “I want to find my powers like this.”

Tiana turned to us, smiling. “We will need the shadows to create a circle.” She shrugged.

Although confused, I let the magical scene unfold and followed until we arrived in the middle of a garden near a large pond sparkling in the moonlight.

“Do you have everything?” Tiana turned to Lucas.

“Yes.” Lucas grimaced and glanced down at a cut on his hand. “Some of the ingredients were tricky to come by.”

“What a shame!” Tiana shook her head. I wasn’t sure if she was being sincere or facetious. She took something from the box Lucas held. “Have no fear. I will heal your little boo-boo later.” After a few chuckles at his expense, we trailed her to the edge of the water.

Tiana kneeled by the pond and dropped something like a black, distorted ball. I couldn’t discern its identity, but I witnessed it move.

She then sank her hands into the water, and the black object dropped below the water’s surface. In an instant, the water turned obsidian and then jet black.

“W-What was that?” I stood open-mouthed and flabbergasted.

“The shadows I collected along the path.” Tiana wrung her hands over the water. Dark drops, like ink, dripped from her fingers, falling into the twinkling pond.

“Tiana is very skilled at manipulating shadows and darkness,” Lucas said, glancing at us.

We stood in silence, not clear what that meant. Tiana paid us no heed and chanted a whispered song—each word seemed to fade into the air. She then pulled out an opaque, glistening dagger and sliced her palm. I held back a strangled cry and stared in disbelief, watching her blood flow from the wound. Blood that was silver, not red.

As the silvery drops settled on the water, Tiana held her hand toward me. “Give me the necklace.”

I obliged, and Tiana dabbed something that smelled like rosemary on the necklace. She recited a whispered spell and released it into the pond.

The water gurgled, and Tiana rose with a frown. “I’m sorry, Fiona, but I need your blood now.”

I stood beside her and offered my palm. She made a swift cut while I gritted my teeth. She submerged my hand in the inky pond, and I felt trapped, as if the water was alive and draining my veins. The emotion wasn’t painful, but it caused me to panic. After a moment, Tiana jerked my hand to the surface.

“Lucas, give me the staff.” He handed her a wooden object.

Tiana wandered into the water up to her calves and spun around, drawing a circle on the water’s surface with the staff. After three times, she called out, “Lucas, I need the vial.”

Tiana leaned down and uncorked it, holding it above the water. I paused in shock, watching a circle, appearing like blown glass before my eyes. The contents of the vial shot out and rose like smoky steam.

She turned to me with a nod. “It’s time, Fiona.” Tiana held out her hand.

“Stop!” Rowan jumped in front of me, glowering at Tiana. “What the feck is all this? I won’t put Fiona in danger!” His apprehension caused me to fret as I glanced between them, not knowing what to do.

“Relax, Alpha. It’s a circle of visions, allowing us to see into her father’s memories.”

“It might lead to who’s helping him,” Lucas said. “Remember, Rowan, you wanted Tiana’s help. There’s nothing in it for her…”

“Fine,” Rowen said through gritted teeth. “Can I go, too?”

“Sorry, no.” Tiana shook her head, shooting Rowan a thin smile. “But I will keep her safe. You have my word.”

Rowan stared at me, his lips tugged into a frown. I grabbed his hand and stood on tiptoes, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be fine. We must trust Tiana.”

He peered deep into my eyes before nodding. As I moved toward Tiana, I felt his fingers grazing my back. I held Tiana’s hand and entered the water, which was icy cold. I glanced over my shoulder at Rowan, Rian, Lucas, Kat, and a grinning Viona, giving them a wan smile.

Tiana coaxed me inside the circle, and just as I was adjusting to the frigid water, I heard loud cries. Then I noticed Tiana didn’t look the same. While I could tell she was the same person, her hair was now long and straight. A silver sheen covered her face and her ears were tall and pointy. The silver circle I saw around her orbs earlier now covered her irises, and a strange but lovely scent floated from her skin.

She smiled, and I watched wings protrude from behind her. Tiana no longer appeared human. She resembled a fairy, but not like I’d pictured in my head—more archaic, precarious, yet magnificent and beautiful.

“Drop into the water,” Tiana whispered. “I will take care of you during the passage.” Her voice had changed as well. It sounded hoarse, and husky, but also like silk.

I took a deep breath and plunged below the water. The pressure drew me down, and I felt myself sinking. Tiana’s hand no longer held mine, and I panicked, thrashing around in the black abyss.

I tried to scream, but nothing came out and I discovered myself in the middle of some strange iridescent bubble that I couldn’t describe. Desperate, I kicked around, trying to escape, to no avail until I heard a faint voice.

“Please, don’t let her die!” The voice sounded like a child. “My mum is all I have left.”

My ears perked to attention, and I stilled, straining to hear more. After a moment, I felt a shift, and the bubble shattered. I whipped my head around, finding myself in a room lit by candles arranged in a circle in the middle of the floor. As I neared the candles, the room spun, and I reached out, grabbing only the surrounding air. I now hovered above the lighted circle, staring down into a mirrored center.

The vision of a woman with long ebony hair and a crown of butterflies appeared. Her wide, striking turquoise eyes shone, startling me. I had never seen eyes so bright and green. She stood tall, chin lifted, looking noble, with unblemished pearly skin and a serene smile. I inhaled a sharp breath, realizing this beautiful goddess was my mother.

Before I could regulate my breathing, a little boy not much older than six appeared, peering at the woman with tears streaming down his face. The sight of him confirmed it was my father.

“Please!” His pleading voice sounded broken. “Please save my mum!”

“And what will be my reward?” Her tone, like a melody in the wind, warmed my insides.

“Anything you want. Please, just don’t let her die.” The little boy sank to the ground, sobbing, and the image faded.

“No!” I stared around the empty room, desperate for more.

The view of a beautiful auburn-haired woman in a hospital bed flashed before my eyes. Her translucent, grayish pallor told me this woman was perishing. I realized I was looking at my grandmother… Cormac’s mom.

“Do something… Save her.” The begging child held a small hand out to the fairy.

Amerlina took a blade, slitting it across the boy’s palm, and smeared her fingertips in the blood. “If you so desire,” she whispered, and the scene disappeared.

The floor beneath me shook and convulsed, breaking the room in half like an earthquake. I felt myself falling. The crack in the floor sucked me in, and I landed with a thud. As I searched around, I found myself in the middle of a lush forest. I rubbed my arms over my body, feeling for injuries, and stood, taking in my surroundings. I heard a hooting noise and spotted a white owl perched in a tree. It flew off, and I followed, watching it land in a tree overlooking a wide stream, and I rushed to the water’s edge.

I stared into the rushing water. My father’s face came into view, appearing like a young man in his twenties with sun-kissed streaks of blond throughout his copper-red hair, freckles, and broad shoulders. His gaze lingered on the exquisite fairy, who remained untouched by age.

“Is your intention to stay?” Cormac stared at Amerlina.

He captured her hand, and they ventured into the forest. While they wandered off together, I watched her image change. Her skin, once porcelain white, took on a golden glow, and her hair seemed lighter—no longer like a glistening onyx. The emerald-colored eyes, so intense, became more of an ocean green. Amerlina now resembled a human, and it felt like I was staring at my own reflection.

My father paused, turning to my mother, observing her with such enchantment. After a moment, Cormac captured her face with a longing that left me uneasy, and kissed her.

As Amerlina kissed him back, I sensed her lack of affection. Her mannerisms seemed distant, much more restrained, and I knew she didn’t hold the same desires as Cormac.

“Don’t leave,” he told her.

“If you so desire,” Amerlina said again, this time in a more normal voice.

Then the memory receded, and I heard the hoot of the owl.

When a fresh image floated before me, years had passed, and my father looked like a man. Cormac’s thick red beard was peppered with gray and his youthful brown eyes now seemed dull and severe. He studied Amerlina, who in turn stared out the window into the forest.

From the side, I could see her crying, and a lone tear ran unchecked down her face. My father’s jaw ticked, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You can’t leave!” The words sounded like an order, not a request. “Amerlina, look at me!” he barked, rushing at her.

Amerlina turned, lifting her gaze, but she appeared to stare through him with lifeless eyes. The vision zoomed in, becoming clearer, and I watched in horror as his large hands grabbed her dainty shoulders. The air left my lungs as I spotted the rope dangling from his hand.

“You are mine!” Cormac’s face creased with anger and hysteria before his mouth crashed hard against hers. While I sensed his passion and lust, Amerlina remained still, offering no response. She hung in his grasp like a rag-doll.

Cormac jerked away in annoyance, taking the rope and tying up her wrists, realizing he could never force her to love him.

“You’re not leaving and one day you’ll understand you belong to me!”

She lowered her eyes and studied her hands, bound by the rope. And in a vanishing, throaty voice, she whispered, “If you so desire…”

Then everything dissolved.

The wailing of a baby woke me up, and I raised myself up, peering into the water. I saw Amerlina, on a cot. Her face was sweaty, and her skin pale, but she smiled, reaching up for the bundle my father held.

“She’s flawed like you.” I flinched, hearing his cold, hard tone.

“Please, let me hold her or see her,” she pleaded, but her smile faded.

He took the infant to a metal table and examined her. She had silver swirls covering her skin and tiny wings on her back. Cormac growled and let out a sigh. “I’ll have to extract these blasted wings.”

In Amerlina’s face, I recognized misery but also defeat. She dropped her head and turned away, not wanting to see the evil man or the perfect baby she had given birth to.

Tears blurred my vision, and after drying my eyes, I was surrounded by darkness. I let out a feral scream with my head thrown back and heard a familiar hoot.

“I can’t take much more!” I glanced over my shoulder at the white owl.

As I looked back into the water, my father was lying on the ground in a puddle of blood. Amerlina loomed above him, her body glowing. She kneeled beside him and touched Cormac’s face, but I noticed a deadly edge in the soft gesture.

A sound of footfalls caused Amerlina to turn around. I glimpsed a little girl, no older than three, watching them from the doorway of the room. The small girl’s eyes were wide and teary.

She rushed to the fairy, arms wide, but before she reached Amerlina, Cormac pulled a silver rope, and the little girl crashed to the floor.

“You may leave,” he said with disgust lacing his tone. “But Fiona remains with me!”

“Mommy! I want my mommy!”

Amerlina closed her eyes, and tears cascaded down like rain, but when she opened them, she held an expression of ice. “If you so desire!” She took a few steps, disappearing in the middle of the darkness.

Then my vision transformed, and I saw my father, many years later, with gray hair. A woman, enveloped in shadows, stood beside him. Her voice sounded fuzzy, and I couldn’t understand anything she said. My father huddled before her, trembling. The woman reached out a hand toward him, and the memory fragments cracked like shards of broken glass.

“I expect total obedience from you,” the woman said, her voice breaking.

My father’s jaw twitched, and he tightened his fists in fury. “If you so desire.”

And then it all evaporated.