'Old ways won't open new doors'
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A vow to keep till the next time they meet
June 2021
Inmate 24601 aka Maaz Chaudhry sat about the corner of the crooked bed playing with his nails, he found amusement in the most leisurely activities, like being a janitor for example, and cleaning his surrounding, if anything, it gave him sometime to keep away from prison trouble and divulge in thoughts, of her and of the possible...child.
He hadn't heard from her in days. In fact. Today was the day of their set meet. Maaz seemed utterly jittery, more of to find out.
"Inmate 24601. Your phone is set," The officer shouted through the courtyard where he was downing a tad bit of water after raking some leaves. He jumped up, and fast paced to the call center.
His heart warmed seeing her. She wore a plain brown long coat with blue jeans, and a scarf covering her head. A hand bag with her, and a white envelope. Her face seemed pale, and drawn. Her lips chapped. Her fingers shivered as she set down her things in front of him.,
They both picked the phone from their respective sides. "I missed you,"
He spoke first. She couldn't have helped but notice, that he wasn't the same anymore, the haughtiness had seemed to have faded, the command gone, he was a plain man hoping to be someone more. Someone he wished he'd be. Once his priorities were to become powerful, and untouchable, but he knew deep down he was just a man with mundane wishes like marriage, kids and a happy life. His past would laugh at his future self, but it was all the working of God. It made him come on the brink of happiness, and then snatched away from it, but again as it was. He could see the lulling lightness. It was enigmatic. Even in prison.
"It's hard," Her voice was quiet, a tear dripped down on the white envelope.
"Hey. Look up." He said. "You can do this, okay. You are a sturdy women. I have never seen someone so strong, you fought some goons alongside me. I have been doing those combat training, but you. You are a natural. You are a prodigy Ayat. If there is someone who can do this, it is you,"
She slipped the envelope from the side square. He opened the envelope, his eyes darting through, and then settled on a part. A simple area. His eyes hadn't moved. They lightened like the moon on a starless night. Like sun in the fish of clouds. Like he couldn't believe God's mercy.
"I can't believe...I,"
"Stop stuttering Maaz. This look doesn't suit you," She laughed.
He put his hand on the glass, and she put hers above, the glass separating the contact "I think a clowns nose might even suit me now,"
She laughed, negating the fatherly love she saw for the first time as he looked at those reports, and the ultrasound, that little nothing there. Nothing but a dot. Their baby.
"You can do this," He spoke now his attention solely on her.
She nodded. "I know,"
"How does it feel like?" He asked curious. It was so refreshing, and alluring to see him like this.
She spoke in a lulled voice. "Nothing to be a honest, it is unnoticeable, and you know immense morning sickness, headache, and dizziness. A lot of dizziness. The doctor says its normal, and she's giving me vitamins and stuff,"
"Ayat. Go back to Pakistan," He spoke carefully. "Your mum will be there, and my mum will be there to take care of you," The concern was immense as well, and she knew he missed his mum as well. He had just gotten her. She was on her path of recovery as well, emotionally and physically, who could have blames her she had lost her son twice by now. Hadn't ever met her daughter in law, who was her niece as well, and now she was becoming a grandmother already.
Ayat was frail, and she already seemed like she could break in two pieces. Who would be there to fulfill her cravings? Who would take care of her? Danial and Shahzain had been depressed for weeks after the trial. Bailed out on visiting him even. They couldn't take care of themselves, than take care of her.
"No," She spoke. "No. I can't. These weekly meetings are the only things keeping up the fight in me. I cannot do this without looking at you. Do you understand?"
"This is no time to be stubborn. I am going to be here for 5 years. How long will you stay in solitude?" He asked. She looked him in the eyes. Straight through. "How long are you going to linger about, waiting to live a life?"
"If even forever is the price. I'd love to keep it that way, and this is my choice, and I told you earlier. I will go and visit soon. But not more than a week, and I will be back before Saturday," She spoke it like a vow, and he nodded in allegiance.
"And I'll love you forever," He finished.
"Forever," She spoke, and then he went inside fading from her eyes, like a shadow in a dark alley, but he remained in the deepest cores of his heart every hour of the day. Every hour.
July 2021
Her trip to Pakistan was a journey to healing, and growing. Haya and Mirza had a baby shower planned, they knew it was a little early, but Ayat hadn't told them when she was going to be back, so it was better to do it now. The bump slightly showed now. Her words were soundless to her own ears. She cried, and then got up to fight her inner demons each day. Saw him on Saturdays, and every wound healed at once. She hadn't heard from Danial, or Shahzain since the trail.
August 2021
Months didn't pass in a blur, it was agony. Most of because of the pregnancy. She had become accustomed to her own routine. She was doing well on her own. Maaz was still of the view for her to be staying back, but he knew. he was her life boat. He was right to a great extent, she did feel like dying on days, but her stubbornness kept her on her feet, visiting him on Saturdays. She never missed once for the life of her. Still no update from Maaz's best mates.
September 2021
Life had taken a nice turn. She spent her days, shopping for maternity dresses, and setting up the nursery. It kept her consumed. Her degree was going to a waste, but she was in no state to start working, except she'd have to move to Pakistan. And this was no option. Maaz's legal assests weren't confiscated but transferred to her, she was seeing occasionally the office deals, but not fully involved. It was usually Hammad, or a very distant Danial. She couldn't cheer herself up. How on Earth was she supposed to cheer him up.
She just found out she was having twins! How bloody superior isn't it? She couldn't believe her luck. That's why her bump was a little more than normal. But more than anything she loved the new development, and now she'd have to wait till Saturday to tell him.
Maaz was growing irritated by every minute, every minute spent in delay. Why wasn't the officer calling him, that his wife was there to meet him. It was the highlight of his week. She'd give him thoughts, and concerns, which he'd have very less otherwise.
"Maaz," The officer called. He leaped off the seat and paced to the call center. Quickly sitting down, and waited for her to walk in. She had a formed bump now. She looked like a penguin walking. Not that he'd ever say that. A big smile covered her face. She had told him her eating habits were going a little crazy. She was insatiable. And then, all the times she'd sleep on the couch without even knowing, and waking up hours later.
"How are you?" He asked. Her face was stretched in a great smile. She was grinning and soon giggling. He looked at her, confused.
"What is happening? Ayat," he said.
"We are having twins. Maaz!" She squealed, the rest of the prisoners might have even heard her, but that didn't matter. Did it now? He was going to be a father to two children. Two bloody human beings. He awed at God's mercy, but maybe this was God's way of telling him he was forgiven, for all the time he spent, asking for mercy. This was mercy. These children were redemption.
"Yes." He shouted. "Hey. Willy did you hear it? I am going to be a dad to two children!"
He was screaming it like a silly man. Ayat laughed a bit embarrassed by her husband, who had taken a complete flip, became a man like any other. A funny husband. Who would have thought, that children will make him an absolute nut head. She shushed him a bit. He couldn't stop grinning but then his concerned voice took charge.
"You are taking care of yourself alright? Medicines, vitamins, water, sleep, food, a lot of food. It's the three most important people of my life. You need to feed them all okay? Okay? Eat pizza, ravioli, pasta...cake. A lot of cake. Do you have gummy bear craving. I reckon one of the children might like them, like I do," He spoke nonstop, but it ached her heart, because it wasn't her cravings he was talking about it was his own. His own wishes. His tongue was dry like paper from eating the same tasteless prison food. She suddenly felt guilty for even eating.
"Don't think about it," he spoke, as if he could read her mind. "I know you are thinking about it again. I am good. I am happy. I am having children, maybe I am not physically there, but I am always thinking of you and the baby...babies," He laughed. "It's...when I get out. I am going to be the best father ever. I am going to protect them, in our nest. We will shift to the countryside...have more children. If you want of course...and...and..."
And she had started crying suddenly. "I miss you. Maaz. I miss you a lot, it's hard to wait till Saturdays, I want to wake up with you. Cook food with you. Paint the nursery with you. I am painting it myself you know. I just finished assembling the crib, and now. I have to do it again, another one, and Danial is always frustrated. Always. He doesn't help either, and Shahzain has settled in Pakistan. What is it with them?"
He sighed, like another burden of his had entered the conversation. "They are disappointed in me. I was always known for my fight you know. My stubbornness to be exact. They think I didn't fight hard enough. But this is the real battle. The battle of righteousness, tell them to come meet me. I miss them both, I miss those idiots, and their puns and jokes,"
She nodded her head. It's just either of them had shut themselves, spoke rarely, and Maaz was a harsh topic. Danial was there but like a robot, helping her with everything, but rarely talked. Shahzain rarely called. He hadn't came to America once. He stayed in Pakistan. She met him last when she went to visit. Since then no calls. They thought of Ayat as a criminal as well. For not stopping him, she understood that it was his choice to make. That this was his chance to start from a clean slate, a clean and sin free chart for their children.
"I will. I will." She spoke. "And don't worry they will come around,"
"How's mom?"
"She misses you, and she is coming next week, she's going to stay with me till the birth now. I am sorry that I missed that detail. I am becoming amnesiac lately. She just told me that she's becoming accustomed to her prosthetic leg now, she claims she can run a marathon now, and next Saturday is hers, she will come meet you," She spoke. Her wife was sturdy, and sweet and an amazing women. He found himself so lucky. How could God have so much mercy? This much. Oceans and Oceans of it.
"Thank You for everything," He spoke. "Take care of my family,"
"You are my family," She spoke. He was. And he was the one from them all at disadvantage, but it was the greatness of his character that made him repent form his sins. Great isn't who never sins, it's who, who hopes for a forgiving God, and repents.
"Still," He spoke with glistening eyes.
"I will," It was like a vow to keep till the next time they meet.
...
Greetings Fellas!
Our Journey is slowly coming to an end. Next chapter may be epilogue. Have a great week. Bye bye!