Grace.
I sat on the beach, feet tucked beneath me while Dylan and Seth surfed. Iâd paddled out with them, but I was too rusty to keep up. I might be swimming fit, but Iâd lost my surfing fitness. Three waves and Iâd been gassed. Iâd arrived home to a sea of people wanting to see me. My brothers. My close friends. Luke and his family. The past week Iâd been floating from one catch-up to another. It was a nice feeling, feeling like I was back in my right place. I knew my way around. I knew the locals. I hadnât needed Google Maps once. And nobody asked me to clarify shortened words or Aussie slang. It was all so familiar. It was home. The sky was slowly brightening. Here, the sun didnât rise over the ocean. But it was still a killer place to ring in the day. The air was already warm. We were in the midst of a heatwave. Last night the temperature hadnât dipped below twenty-seven-degrees-celsius. The warmth was a shock to my system. While I wasnât used to Philadelphiaâs chill, Iâd lost touch with South Australiaâs heat. My body temperature was idling somewhere in between. Itâd felt that way for a long time, like part of my heart belonged here while the other belonged wherever Levi was. My throat constricted just thinking about him. The flight home had been brutal. Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Sydney. Sydney to Adelaide. Thirty-six hours. The whole time Iâd left my phone on flight mode, distancing myself from reality. Now I was here, the American sim no longer worked. That hadnât stopped Levi trying to get in touch. Heâd reverted to Messenger. There were countless unopened messages, some of which were long paragraphs. I wasnât ready to look at them yet. I missed him so bloody much. Each night Iâd found myself scrolling through my camera roll, leering over pictures of us. Halloween. Thanksgiving. His hockey games. My birthday. Weâd packed so many amazing moments into such a small span. I could only imagine what a future camera roll would look like. But I wasnât sure that future was still an option anymore. Being reverted to a wager was hard to stomach. Even if the bet hadnât existed, everything wouldâve happened the same way. But it had. Because you and me, weâre meant to be, Hughesy. Iâd really believed that. Which is why Iâd been considering upending my life to stay with him after graduation. But now? I wasnât so sure. Not because Iâd lost faith in what I meant to Levi. I knew he loved me, knew things had been real since we really got to know each other. But heâd lied to me about this. If heâd just been honest, when things had shifted from casual to more, maybe it wouldnât have stung so much. The sand crunched as Seth and Dylan jogged towards me, surfboards tucked beneath their arms. Even carrying my board down to the beach had been an effort. It was more difficult than I remembered. I was a full kook nowadays. My brothers sat down on either side of me, feet slipping beneath the sand.
âIâve missed this,â I told them.
The sky had transitioned to look like fairy floss. Pink and orange mingling with the clouds.
âWeâre pretty bloody lucky,â Seth said, leaning forward to roll down his wetsuit.
Mine was already rolled down, bunching around my waist. While the morning was warm, the water wasnât. Itâd practically knocked the breath out of me when I first dove under.
âHave you decided what you want to do tomorrow?â Seth asked.
Lukeâs family had invited us to Christmas lunch. So had our extended family, as well as the neighbours.
âCan we hang at home, just the three of us?â
Neither of my brothers objected. It was nice that others wanted to make us feel a part of their family. Itâd been that way ever since mum and dad died. Friends and extended family reaching out, as if Dylan, Seth and I had no one. But we did. We had each other. We were our own family. Thatâs all I needed. Especially right now.
âHow was dinner with Lukeâs family last night?â Dylan asked.
âGood. It was great to see them.â
âThings werenât awkward with Luke?â
âNot at all.â
Seth arched an eyebrow. âYou tell him about Levi?â
âYeah. Weâve both moved on. Heâs been dating a girl from uni for a few months apparently.â I wriggled my toes in the sand. âItâs nice to have that friendship back.â
And I meant it. Iâd known Luke my entire life. While heâd been a good boyfriend through high school, he was an even better friend. Our chemistry had never been what Levi and I had. I hadnât filled my brothers in on the entire shit show happening back at Phil-U. While the distance was generally hard, in moments like these when I wanted to keep the universes separate, it worked out well. I didnât want them associating Levi with a stupid decision. Instead, Iâd explained Levi and I had needed some space, while I figured out what came next. It wasnât too far from the truth.
âYouâre really thinking about staying there?â Seth asked.
âAm. Was. I donât know. Things are complicated.â
âWith Levi?â
âWith everything,â I admitted.
It was hard to think about when things had turned to chaos. I knew I didnât have to go back if I didnât want to, didnât have to face my final few months at Phil-U. But Iâd committed to an entire year. I owed that to my parents. To the team. To myself. And to Levi. Running off hadnât been entirely fair. I shouldâve heard him out properly, given him a chance to explain. But Iâd run knowing I would be back there in a few weeks. I guess thatâs not what Levi thought. In the brief snippets of messages Iâd seen come through, he thought Iâd left for good. He didnât think heâd ever see me again. It was definitely cruel letting him think that when it wasnât the truth. But it was also mean to make a bet with another guy about who could hook up with me first. So consider this my first step getting even.
âStaying would mean leaving this behind,â I said.
Dylan nodded. âThis, yeah. But not us.â
âFaceTime isnât the same.â
âNah,â Seth agreed. âIt sucks. But we could come to you.â
I peered at him, eyes wide in a mixture of wonder and confusion. What was he saying?
âThings slow down here in the winter,â he added. âDyl and I spoke, and we reckon we could take a few months off each year and fly your way, via Hawaii of course so we could get some surfing in.â
My head snapped to Dylan when he started talking.
âAnd weâre totally down for a white Christmas too. Thereâs some killer snowboarding in Colorado. Not to mention we both have buddies in Canada we could fly up and see while weâre there.â
Seth bumped my hip with his. âWe want to get to know your boyfriend.â
âAnd watch him play hockey,â Dylan added. âPreferably from a corporate box with complimentary beer.â
My stomach turned to excited knots thinking about that scenario, but I didnât want to bring them down with the truth. I couldnât believe theyâd thought about it, considered even giving up a part of their life to be with me. Dylan draped his arm over my shoulder.
âWeâve really thought it through. If you move, weâll come visit each winter. In exchange, you come here over Leviâs off season, and we tee up to meet half-way somewhere else throughout the year.â
âLike Hawaii,â Dylan jested.
I laughed. But to be fair, it was practically the only place you could consider halfway. Well, maybe Fiji too.
âItâs a lot different there,â I warned them. âTipping is a pain. And they never include taxes on the bill. And donât get me started on the weather.â
My brothers laughed, their blue eyes dancing.
âI love you both.â
âWe love you too, Gracie,â Seth said, giving me a noogie.
Dylan picked up my phone. âHere. Letâs get a pic to remember this.â
He stretched his arm out, capturing the three of us. We looked so similar. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Similar smiles. Tanned skin. Though mine was pasty in comparison to Dyl and Seth. I needed to lift my game while I was back. Later that night when I couldnât sleep, too caught up in thoughts, I uploaded the photo to Instagram with the caption home. Not for the place. For the people.